A world that had ended.
Nothing lived, nothing died. A world that was once a shadow of another was now an almost blinding beacon of hope. Although that world may not have existed anymore, who could really say it would never exist again in the future? Perhaps in another time, another place, the world that had ended would gain a new life. A new soul to harbour new hope. Loneliness and sorrow was sure to befall that new soul. Even still, that sorrow would give way into a new light. A new happiness.
"..."
A gentle thought. One that would bring a smile to a gentle face. Visions of that world always held a certain loneliness to them, however, that loneliness was always accompanied by a familiar warmth. A soft sense of security. A warmth that offered safety. Of course, she only realized just what that warmth was right at the end. When everything was coming to its crescendo, she finally grasped it.
The reason why the world that had ended had existed in the first place.
"... io…"
Whenever she closed her eyes, she saw that world again. To most, that would probably constitute as a recurring nightmare. However, she smiled whenever she saw it. It was like seeing an old friend. She could never understand why, though. She didn't even know when she began seeing this strange place. The gentle rolling hills, the dancing lights floating into an endless blue sky, different bits of junk fixed together into strange contraptions. It was a beautiful place.
"... Ushio!"
"Hm…?"
A soft - yet urgent - voice followed by the sensation of a gentle hand on her shoulder forced the girl awake, rather abruptly at that. A train. She was on a train. The sun's blinding rays forced her to clamp her eyes shut once again, giving herself time to readjust. It wasn't long before she could reopen her eyes and take in the view from outside the window. They were going through a seemingly endless field of flowers. A familiar sight. One that felt pleasantly nostalgic, yet also held just a hint of sadness. Just a hint, though.
"We're almost there, sleepy head. Did you have a nice dream, Ushio?"
Oh, that's right. They were going to see someone. Ushio nodded, a smile on her face. Sadly, that smile was only temporary as her attention shifted to the man opposite her. Tomoya Okazaki, her father. What was usually a kind - if not a little scary - expression was now one wrought with worry as he stared off into the passing field. The woman beside her - her mother, Nagisa - however, was smiling her usual smile.
"Yeah, how long do we have left, mom?"
"I think about fifteen minutes, right Tomoya?"
"Hm? Oh, sure…"
That simple distracted answer sent a tight pang through Ushio's chest. She remembered when the phone call happened. It was just a regular day, not unlike any other before it. The call was from Ushio's Great Grandmother - Shino Okazaki. What would normally have been a pleasant and welcomed surprise turned into something everyone would rather never have happened.
Grandad was sick. It was bad. Years of heavy drinking and smoking had weakened his body and it was finally catching up to him. Tomoya could barely believe it. Of course, he blamed himself for letting his dad do that to himself, and of course Nagisa was there to persuade him otherwise. Even still, Ushio could see that Tomoya still blamed himself. Even now as they made their way to his Grandmother's house.
"Tomoya…"
That aside, the trip may have been for some sad circumstances, Ushio was still happy to be coming back here. After all these years it really hadn't changed one bit. Places like that were rare these days. She often heard both her parents talk about how everything had changed back in their hometown.
Wasn't change a good thing? After all, it was thanks to the new hospital that both Ushio and Nagisa could get proper medical treatment whenever they fell victim to their fevers. New advancements were made every day! If the world simply stayed the same, everyone would still be living in caves.
She half expected some giant shopping complex to emerge from the flower fields to ruin the tranquil scenery. Thankfully, no such sight came. Even if progress was good, it was still nice to have these sorts of places. Thinking of the flower field, however, a memory flashed over Ushio's mind.
"Maybe we can find my robot this time."
That managed to earn at least a bit of a chuckle from her father. A wave of relief washed over her as the hints of a smile krept back onto his lips. She could tell the memories of his own childhood were running through his mind. This place held a lot of memories for the two of them. Though, unlike Nagisa, those memories spanned more than just a few visits. Granted neither Tomoya nor Ushio ever talked about those hazy, despair filled memories. They often felt more like a fading dream. Like, it never really happened. For all intents and purposes, it never did.
Or more accurately, it never would.
Thankfully, the smile on Tomoya's face seemed to put Nagisa at rest as her tightened shoulders slowly began to relax.
Eventually, the train began to slow as it approached the station. The family collected their things, most of the building tension somewhat evaporated. The rural setting outside was as fresh as ever. A light breeze fluttered past Ushio's cheeks and the sent of flowers tickled at her nose.
She loved it here. It seemed it was always locked in a beautiful summer whenever she came here.
The sun was starting to set by the time they reached Tomoya's Grandmother's house. Casting the whole place in a vibrant orange hue. The cicadas whirring and chirping in the near distance offering a calming backing track to their journey.
Shino Okazaki was already standing at the gate to the large, traditional house she had lived in for years. A sombre expression on her wrinkled face. However, upon noticing their arrival, she managed to smile at least a little.
They all exchanged the standard pleasantries before being lead into the house proper. Inside was just as huge and daunting as Ushio had remembered. Weird and wonderful objects lined wall mounted shelves, paintings of grandiose landscapes hung on the walls and there was a fresh scent of soap floating and swirling through the house.
Did one person really need such a large house?
Granted the three of them had recently moved into a relatively large house of their own. Tomoya's recent pay rise and Nagisa's promotion to Branch Manager of the family restaurant she had worked at for years meant they could afford such luxuries. Plus a little help from Akio and Sanae. It meant she had her own room at last.
So, Ushio could appreciate the need for space.
Still, this big old house seemed a little excessive. Even with the addition of Tomoya's father - Yuuki Okazaki.
Not to mention that the place was stunningly immaculate. As if the entire place was immune to dust and grime. Ushio's Great Grandmother was a superhuman, it seemed. At least when it came to cleanliness and housekeeping.
Though the initial awe immediately flew out of the window when the group began to move up stairs to where Shino had said Yuuki was resting. All the while, the frail old lady explaining the situation.
"Liver Cancer. Honestly it didn't come as much of a surprise. The doctors say he's in Stage C... meaning it won't be long before his liver will start failing."
"Is he in pain?"
"Yes. Though it comes and goes. Largely in the form of stomach aches. Some days he has trouble keeping food down, other days he's perfectly fine."
"When did you find out?"
"The diagnosis came through around three days ago but the doctor says the cancer has been around for near enough a full six months. It's common for this kind of cancer to be ignored until it's to late. Not that that makes me feel any less at fault. I am his mother after all."
"If anyone should take the blame, it's me. I was the one who let him drink and smoke himself into this situation."
A strained noise from Nagisa brought the two out of their conversation. She bore a look as if she had just seen a ghost.
In fact, that wasn't exactly a huge step from the truth.
Yuuki Okazaki had managed to shuffle his way onto the landing, holding the same smile he always forced over his lips. Only this time, the lips were dry, cracked and belonged to a gaunt skeleton of a man. A sickly yellow hue paved his skin, his frame not allowing him to stand fully upright.
The mere sight of him in this state almost caused Ushio to immediately start balling. Fortunately, her hand found Nagisa's. There would be a time for crying and that time definitely wasn't right now.
"Oh, hello… Tomoya."
"Hey Dad..."
"Ah, Nagisa and little Ushio too? It's good to see you"
The two girls bowed, trying their best to smile.
"Yuuki, you should be in bed."
Shino had a look befitting of her motherly nature. Neither anger, disappointment or irritation. Just concern for her sick child. All Yuuki could muster was a short chuckle, waving a hand at his mother.
"I'll get plenty of rest later. I wanted to see my son and his family on my own two feet."
Tomoya let out a small sigh, though Ushio swore she glimpsed the beginnings of a smile. She had come to learn that her dad had difficulty expressing his true feelings when it came to his own father. That said, she knew that deep down, Tomoya was at least glad to see his father again, even if the circumstances were the opposite of desirable.
The next few hours were hard.
Ushio was told to go and watch TV whilst everyone else discussed whatever it was adults talked about in these situations. Of course, Ushio didn't really need to be present to get the jist of what was being said.
Whatever was going to happen, it was going to be expensive, hard and painful.
She caught a few stray bits of information from their talks, wandering in from across the hallway. Mainly numbers. Large numbers.
Four Million Yen.
Seventy percent.
Eight to ten weeks.
None of it really made much sense when heard in fragments, however their tone spoke louder than their words. It was bad.
It was a long night. Food was made, but hardly any was eaten.
A small thing, but meal times in the Okazaki household were always full of conversation and good food. The contrast just served to put more weight on the mood.
Papers littered the floor of the living room. Numbers and calculations scrawled on each one. The odd one ripped up or messily scribbled out. No one even dared reference the true issue. At least not yet.
The capital C was scary. Even for adults.
The next day was different. It took a happier tone, but no matter how hard everyone tried, it all felt forced. Whilst Tomoya stayed at home, Nagisa took Ushio out to the flower fields she had grown to know and love.
Though unlike her younger self, she took to sitting in the shade with her mother rather than frolocking about in the fields. Besides, she had something a little more important to think about and discuss. It may have stemmed from the main reason they were here, but it didn't have much to actually do with it.
"Hey, mom, would it be ok if I got a job when we get back?"
The question garnered a bit of a shocked reaction. Though she expected as much. It wasn't exactly hard to shock her mother. All she really needed to do was make a remark out of left field and the poor woman would work herself into a flustered mess.
A fun little prank she and Tomoya pulled quite frequently.
"Why do you ask? You're a little young for that, Ushio."
"I start High School in two weeks, mom. I… just… wanted to earn my own keep. All this talk of money just makes me feel a little useless. Maybe if you didn't have to invest as much in me… it'll be easier? I don't know, I just want to help."
"Oh… Honey, you're not useless at all. You got into Hikarizaka High School with a Literature Scholarship. That's amazing, Ushio! Tomoya and I are so proud of you."
A grimace.
"No, that's not really what I meant. The two of you work all day and I do nothing. I want to at least help out with my school expenses. Maybe your restaurant has some openings?"
Nagisa shook her head. Ushio figured as much.
"It's company policy that we only hire people over the age of seventeen. I don't really agree with it, but we're part of a chain so there's not a whole lot I can really do. If you really want to work, why not ask Aki and Granny Sanae?"
…
Huh.
That wasn't exactly a bad idea.
The two were looking into opening a second shop. anyway. So it only made sense that they'd be looking to hire. Though Ushio didn't really know what to think about working for her grandparents. It was one thing occasionally relying on them to look after her when both Nagisa and Tomoya are busy with work, but it was an entirely different story having them as a boss. Still, this was her idea.
"Ok, if you don't mind, I'd like to ask them myself."
She nodded.
Even if it was just as something as small and insignificant as this, Ushio felt a wave of relief wash over her. It wasn't much - if it wasn't anything at all - but the Okazaki family didn't have to invest as much into her school expenses if she was earning her own keep.
The rest of the day was spent much like the morning. Nagisa took Ushio to the nearby town for groceries for the day's dinner, Tomoya and Shino stayed inside and tended to the reason they were here.
Ushio didn't know what exactly was happening back at the house, but she really didn't want to go back inside. At least not for a little while.
It wasn't as if she was scared or grossed out by it all. It was more like she didn't want to shatter the illusion of peace just yet. It was rare that she got to spend time completely alone with her mother, so she wanted to capitalize on it. At least just a little. Even if it was a little selfish.
It was a simple day of simple conversation. However, she really wouldn't have it any other way. They even visited a small, independent bookstore. A rare sight in today's world, but that's what she liked about this place. The entire area seemed to have been locked in a pleasant stasis.
Browsing the various piles of barely sorted books, the two idly chatted about this and that. There were a few volumes that caught Ushio's attention. Of Mice and Men, Catcher in the Rye, The Dunwich Horrors, The Colour of Magic, an Edgar Allan Poe anthology, some collections of short stories written by various amature authors. Some of these were pretty rare. Sadly, rare meant expensive. As such, she refrained from bringing up her interest. Though she did make a mental note to come back here when she had a little saved up.
Later, the duo returned with all the groceries required, plus some extra just in case. The scene they arrived to was a little distressing. Tomoya sat at the coffee table, his hair in a scruffy mess and bags forming under his eyes. He was looking over something on his tablet when the two came in.
"Hey you two. Grandma's upstairs with… him. I could use a distraction from this sh- stuff… what did my two favourite girls get up to today?"
"We found out that I'm a Witch and I got enrolled at Hogwarts. Fancy that!"
Ushio's joke had the desired effect. He smiled and gave a genuine chuckle. A sound the family hadn't heard since before the phone call. It was nice to hear again.
"Well, magic girl, if you could magic us up some of your famous curry, I would have to consider letting you go!"
"Tomoya! Honestly… you should learn to do some cooking for yourself!"
Another genuine laugh. Each one sending a wave of colour through the large house.
"I cook. It's not my fault I suck at it and almost poisoned the neighbourhood during the little league baseball game the other week. Speaking of, you sure you don't want to help coach a little more Ushio? The kids miss you."
"I start school in two weeks, Dad. I can't get a job, study and do your job all at the same time."
An abrupt pause followed by a deafening silence.
"A job?"
"Don't worry Dad. If I can, I'll only be working at Aki and Sanae's bakery."
There was another short silence, though whatever Tomoya had been thinking, he appeared to have let it go and simply continued on as if the previous few minutes hadn't happened.
"I see. Shame. I might have to start actually coaching them. Oh what horror. That said… I might need to get Akio to cover for me for longer than I thought."
"Trust me, Tomoya, if dad had his way, he'd likely take your place permanently. I wouldn't worry to much about getting him to cover a few more weekends."
"Nice to know I'm just a hurdle between him and his secret love affair."
The family - once again - shared a warm round of laughter. However, the inevitable crashing of reality rolled into the room in the form of Shino. The subject was about to shift from baseball to something everyone would rather not talk about.
"So… has he changed his mind?"
Shino shook her head with a defeated expression. Tomoya scowled and his grip on the tablet tightened. Understandably, Ushio and Nagisa had no idea what the two were talking about.
"About what, dad?"
"The idiot is refusing to get treatment. The ba- ugh… he's given up."
"He says it's to expensive and doesn't want to put any more burden on us. We've tried persuading him to at least give it some thought… but… he's nothing if not stubborn. I suppose he got that from his father, god rest his soul."
"Or he's just plain stupid…"
"Tomoya!"
"Right… sorry, Nagisa."
The room fell silent once more.
If she were being honest, Ushio didn't know how she felt about everything. She hadn't thought about it at all, getting wrapped up in the history this place held rather than what was happening in the present.
Honestly, she could have counted the amount of times she had met her Grandad on a single hand. Was her attachment to him real? Or was it more out of familial obligation? That thought aside, she couldn't just allow the silence to continue like this. She wanted to bring back the warmth from just a few minutes prior.
Usually, she would just start singing Dango Daikazoku when things got uncomfortable. Though she figured suddenly starting to sing would just annoy everyone.
Sadly, her indecision proved too much and before anyone knew it, it was time to begin preparing the night's dinner. Beef curry with yogurt mixed in to cream up the flavour.
Ushio wanted to use chocolate instead, though that was quickly shot down.
Using chocolate always helped with the taste in Ushio's book. It didn't take from the spice, but it added a level of sweetness that happily complimented the more savory flavours. Though, yogurt was just as good, she supposed. If not a little less sweet in favour of a more creamy feel.
Even with the homemade curry, it was another night brimmed with tension and the looming dread of their situation. If dread could loom, that was.
Ushio could tell that there was something building up between her dad and grandad. The silence was almost another ingredient in the curry. It was just a matter of who would shoot first.
"Tomoya…"
The honor went to Yuuki, surprisingly.
"What?"
"Are you still upset with my decision?"
"What kind of question is that? Of course I'm upset. You're just giving up? You're not even going to fight it? Just roll over and let it happen?"
Ushio, Nagisa and Shino wanted to try and nip this argument in the bud before it began, though once higher reasoning kicked in, Nagisa quelled their attempts to the surprise of her daughter. Whatever the reason may have been, she trusted her mother.
"Tomoya, it's far too expensive. I wouldn't even dream of placing such cost on you…"
"We'll manage. Dipping into our savings and cutting back some expenses here and there is a lot better than just giving up!"
"It's four million Yen, Tomoya. Even with a seventy percent reduction from the government, that's still over two and a half million. It's just too much to put on anyone's shoulders. I've been enough of a burden to you and mother."
"That's bullsh- rubbish, Dad. I might not exactly be completely sympathetic, but you're my father and I love you. What sort of son would I be if I just allowed my own dad - my daughter's Grandfather - die without so much as an attempt at something else?"
"Listen. I'm just an old man clinging to his past. Why fight when my future has already come and gone?"
"Will you listen to yourself? Are you some kind of idiot? What's the point in fighting? Everything, you asshole! I'm not going to sit here and debate philosophy with you. What I am going to do is tell you exactly what will definitely happen if you just give up like a coward."
At that, Nagisa was about to step in. Unfortunately, her attempt was cut short by a piercing glare. Not from Tomoya. No, Shino was staring directly at her. Even if the expression lacked much in the ways of emotion, even Ushio could tell Shino was nothing but a raging storm on the inside. Though the focus of that rage was a mystery.
"Tomoya I…"
"What's going to happen is a lot of pain, suffering and anguish… on both sides. Do you really want to force everyone around you to suffer because you're too dumb to make an attempt to fight? Will it work? Who knows! But trying is a lot better than just giving up. This whole thing is screwed. I get that. I just… don't… want you to lose faith in yourself like this. Call me selfish, but I'd rather not lose my dad like this."
Silence filled the table once more.
Ushio hated when her dad got like this. She had heard about his temper back when he was still in school. It was a small relief to note he had gotten a better grip on it these days, but she really didn't want this to escalate into something worse than an argument.
Yuuki looked over in her direction, smiling at her. She smiled back, more out of instinct. A short exchange of eye contact that might not have had any significance to Ushio, but it certainly seemed to have some effect on Yuuki.
"I'm proud of you, son. Pushing so hard for the sake of someone such as myself."
Tomoya scowled.
"I wouldn't have to push so hard if you weren't such an idiot."
"Maybe so…"
Finally, dinner was finished and the dishes were taken away, ready to be washed. The argument had since fallen into a stalemate. Tomoya was still wound up seven ways to Sunday, but at least he wasn't yelling anymore. That was a good thing, right?
Even still, the rest of the night went by in silence as the family watched any old thing on TV.
It felt as if time had ground to a slow crawl. It was almost painful and the TV was just making it worse. At least it was for Ushio. She hated silence. Silence meant things weren't being fixed, just ignored. But what could she do?
Right now, nothing.
And that was enough to form a small, raw tear in her eye.
She wanted to scream. Even if it was just to break the silence. She almost did on numerous occasions, however, the occasional hand squeeze from Nagisa quelled her urges.
Finally, just before they all set about going to bed, Yuuki raised his head, looking at Tomoya straight in the eyes. What fell from his lips would send every ounce of tension out of the window. At least temporarily.
"I'll look over the figures again…"
