Disclaimer: Nothing recognisable belongs to me, least of all the OUAT universe, which belongs to its proper creators and Copyright holders;
Villains are people too
Regina Mills has never been one to harbour disillusionments and denials about what and who she is, namely: the once and again when necessary Evil Queen of the Enchanted Forest; one of three villains to board a pirate ship on a quest to save her abducted son from the faraway and becoming more sinister by the second realm of Neverland. And yet, for all her decades-spanning illustrious career of pilling up sins and less than sugary-coma-inducing altruistic acts, that would border the line between sheer stupidity and absurd mentally impaired faculties, Mayor Mills sincerely doubted she could have ever done anything remotely monstrous enough to deserve being stranded in her current ridiculous situation.
Regina thought that, for sure, nothing less than causing intra-dimensional collapse that would, at the very least, obliterate 10 realms and kill any and all forms of life together with everything else from said realms, could rack up such magnitudes of honest-to-goodness bad Karma on her soul and heart to sentence the former Queen to early taste of hell in life, well before departing to the Great Beyond. Being unable to escape her current entourage of moronically behaving do-gooders plus a pirate, an imp and a thief, all of whom seemed intent on sabotaging her, for once kinda selfless efforts to save the innocent life of her precious Little Prince, by all means necessary, while simultaneously managing to fry her brain, nerves and tremendous self-control on a fiery pit that would make the 7 circles of hell feel like a summer cruise vacation. Seriously, Regina had long ago accepted that nothing in her life would ever be easy and any scrap of personal happiness would always have to be fought for furiously and till an inch of her life, but the current scenario reached new levels of absurdity.
She had made the sacrifice of embarking on a life-endangering rescue mission with a limited selection of her least favourite and most detested individuals from all realms and worlds (Fate and Destiny obviously conspiring to punish her was such old news), all without a grain of hesitation or regret because it was supposed to make getting Henry back safe and happy, both easier and quicker. How is it, that the one time, she voluntarily overlooked the grievances against her person by her former adversaries, while cohabiting in close proximity with the same people, in addition to being helpful and somewhat tolerant, the Charmings did not accidentally stumble on a miraculous solution to the common predicament, neither Gold had the standard 101 step-plan in the works for centuries to defeat the enemy and get what he wanted, and even Hook and Imp Junior did not possess an ace or 10 up their sleeves of coincidentally useful information or artefacts.
For a mother to ensure her child`s well-being, an obstacle-filled adventure in an unknown place with nasty surprises popping left and right would be universally considered nerve wracking, but perfectly acceptable, if only it ended with her little one safe in her arms. But, on top of this huge fest of unpleasantness, unpredictable dangers, and fear for Henry, to have to endure being a front row witness to the incomprehensible love, distrust, hate and anger dynamics of Snow, Charming, Emma, her bio baby daddy and the one-armed pirate, all while Rumple had disappeared to do deities-would-not-know-what, was too much even for the formidable Evil Queen, turned small town Mayor and single parent of the most perfect little boy to ever exist.
When all this started back in good old Storybrooke, they were three heroes and three villains, at least according to the Enchanted Forest naively radical black and white world views. For all she and Gold were coldly reserved and passively sarcastic-aggressive at the best of times and the entire universe but the Saviour could tell Hook`s main motive to help was to moon over Emma and gain redemption cred, the unusual band of allies had looked significantly more promising then. Old Imp-y being gone was not of itself end of the world, as long as he didn't somehow become leverage for Pan against them. Case in point, she was not 100% sure he had really chose now to start advocating full disclosure and agenda-reveal. The best she could hope for now was that Gold would not make matters for Henry worse, whether it be intentional deviousness and duplicity or collateral damage, a by-product of his latest master plan. For better or worse, being the primary, strongest and single-control-exercising magical user in this motley crew, and in a place like Neverland, only added to Regina`s reasons to be constantly on guard and never let her guard down. While saving Henry at any cost was number 1 priority, she would never relish in his pain, and there was no way he would feel anything, but pain and hurt, if any of his Charming and biological relatives suffered or worse: died, on this mission. Even Hook meeting his end would be problematic as the others, even Miss Swan for all her denial, would take such an occurrence badly and her little boy was nothing if not emphatic to the feelings of others. Being good and decent, a hero was so much harder for a former Evil Queen. Twas the burden of mothers in all realms, to tear themselves inside out if needed, all for the happiness of their children. Mayor Mills may not know what it was to give birth, but she knew what it was to raise a child and love it beyond all reason and earthly power. Henry was her SON, if she could get him back home without any losses in his eyes, she would, and if that plan failed, it would not be for lack of trying or effort on her part!
Abandoning the least efficient search and rescue team in the history of everything ever existed was out, so tolerating migraines induced by collective ridiculousness it was. Snow and Charming 'lively debating' how to handle Emma, possible future progeny (she was a bit afraid to learn what a world with more Charmings would look like, danger magnets, irritatingly peppy optimists and true love motivated heroes that they were), battle strategy (who is allowed to throw themselves in front of the other and be a live shield this time), irresponsible live risking behaviour and how to face its consequences (as if Snow would ever detach herself and leave her soul mate behind, those two were sickeningly superglued together). At least Miss Swan could be counted upon to demonstrate healthy uneasiness with the fairy-tale romantic sweetness 24/7 feast like a normal pragmatic person. It had been strange to observe Emma reacting to all the magic realm stuff, laws and characters. Swan was a pessimist by nature and life experience and Regina had come to approve expecting the worst with her life. Add the girl`s infuriatingly radical positive genes and the Queen acknowledged the blonde`s world weariness for the major life feat it was for a child of Snow White. At moments she could nearly feel a smidge of closeness to the frustrating birth mother of Henry.
For the endless trouble the princess attracted and her infuriating occasional self-righteousness, she at least had the decency to not be perpetually cheery even in the worst of circumstances. In addition to having the capacity for aggressiveness and determination where their son was concerned, the blonde did not pretend to be a perfectly wholesome ray of sunshine, and knew what it was to suffer, be alone and fight dirty, she did not preach idealistic nonsense or pretend any world was unfailingly fair to everyone. It was unthinkable to admit, if only to herself, that in another world, had Regina not caused much of Emma`s unhappiness with her curse in response to Snow betraying and causing the Queen endless misery, had the two not been locked in perpetual struggle over their son, which at most allowed forced civility, reluctant partnership at moments, and begrudging respect for the merest of fleeting seconds, the two women may have genuinely appreciated each other, may haps even liked the other enough to strike a friendship. Thinking of what was not and could never be, was not an acceptable activity in the intense dark eyes of the brunette beauty, so she abandoned that train of thought and refocused on her current surroundings and her companions.
Currently, Snow was determinedly chatting away at Emma, smiling widely and throwing the occasional speculative glance between her daughter and the thief, who was preoccupied with leading the way to his once upon a time island home. Truly, that woman could not have looked more disconcertingly like an overeager child approaching sugar coma, had she actually still been 12 years old. Swan, for her part, resolutely looked at her feet or the overgrown vegetation everywhere, expertly avoiding any type of eye contact with her previous beau, her parents or the unshakable gaze of the pirate that followed a few steps behind the blonde while sporadically nodding and giving one word answers to whatever David was talking about. The way Hook was staring at Emma, one would think the was walking on the edge of a perilous mountain ridge and was in danger of falling down and disappearing at any one moment. It was good her jacket did not ignite from the intense scrutiny and the overprotective parental unit had not caught the ardourous gazing.
Bringing up the end of the procession may allow for maximum others` observing and minimum faked conversation engagement, but being within hearing distance, Regina had no desire to waste more valuable time on antagonistic or disapproving confrontations regarding the bad timed romantic triangle between the Saviour, the thief, who send her pregnant to jail for his crimes in the name of goodness and the hook-wielding pirate, who forsake his revenge for the murder of Henry`s grandmother against her husband, whom she left to raise their son alone to seek adventure with another man, the same sea captain that destroyed the thief`s parents' marriage and now wanted redemption in an effort to win the heart of Lizard Junior`s former lover and mother of his child. At present Regina had inadvertently learned way more than she ever wanted to know about the dealings and relationships between her companions, it hurt simply attempting to keep straight the interweaved pasts of everyone. This was probably the dream or nightmare of historians, but the Mayor could not care less, especially when every whispered, covert or heated discussion that exposed new sides of the whole mess was time wasted and taken from looking for Henry, Pan, Pan`s camp, lost boys to interrogate or weapons useful in defeating Pan and his demonic wicked shadow.
Hook, betraying her plan to dispose of Cora a lifetime ago, then collaborating with her mother against her and ceasing to be helpful exactly when she joined the agenda, was far from her favourite person, in fact he was not even in the particularly anything category where Regina was concerned. She had plenty on her plate already. His arrogance and bravado masking his mooning over Emma was annoying at most, and it was not like they could not have confiscated his ship and even his will and mind, by magic, when they had been departing from Storybrooke. True, he had provided the portal bean, but she was still not about to initiate a 'Villains Anonymous Love Club' for the tragically separated by death from their first love people, lived through vengeful pursuits and fast-track decent in to the bad hero profession, with lousy luck at finding second chances at happiness. All that said, when Regina overheard Snow`s attempts at talking her daughter in to finding true love by pushing her to forgive and forget Neal`s transgressions, the Queen could not help but be deeply befuddled at Snow White`s perception of life and Emma`s denial of obvious life facts for the countless time in their long mutual history.
Revenge obsessed pirates that are centuries old would never be any parents` ideal for life partner to their precious daughter, so not singing Hook praises was absolutely understandable. Emma`s stubborn insistence she had never even entertained notions of something more was a tab more perplexing, a blind man would sense the attraction and tension between Sheriff and Pirate Captain, both with twisted past, damaged and quick to join any fray, it was at least clear there was something there, whatever it was, and that they could make some sense on some level. Regina Mills could care less about their tortured love stories or whatever, but did they really have to dedicate so much time to resolving their feelings right when they needed to focus on much more pressing matters? The Mayor could not tell if Emma spend so much time snapping, glaring and going out of her way to avoid both men, because it kept her mind of worrying tirelessly about Henry and their lack of sure proof plan to save him, or if the princess had contacted the need of most fairy tale characters to preoccupy themselves with their feelings at the nick of life and death missions, while she had been in the Enchanted Forest. With all the saving the blonde woman did, how could she forget that a few minutes wasted on charged ambiguous soul gazing or profound feeling admissions could spell the end of their endeavour was unknown, one had to act as fast as possible and not lose sight of their priorities.
Snow and Charming`s behaviour was what really cemented in her mind once again, that in spite of having lived the majority of their lives on the run, in battle and under a curse in a magic-less world, the twosome would forever be inclined to overlook the complexity and greyness of life`s course. Emma and Neal living a happily ever after and possibly trying to take Henry permanently to perpetuate the perfect little family made her nauseous and uneasy, but that was far from the top of the list of why she thought pushing the issue to the cookie cutter picture perfect version would not work well. Giving Neal full family status and giving him equal decision rights when concerning Henry without at least a period of character evaluation and risk assessment seemed stupid to Regina. Neal had helped and perhaps he would not hurt their son or Emma on purpose, but from what had been said, she doubted his decision under pressure skills, parenting style and dependability were quite up to par for the task. Emma had at least known about the child always and been prepared what level of dedication and commitment was required. Even then, she had made some mistakes, but been able to stay and make the best of them, instead of running away.
Would a man with Neal`s family issues, long-held grudge against their world and magic, and susceptible to the opinions of strangers, be able to do as well, to not cause more harm than good? Whatever came for him and Emma, he would try to be in Henry`s life, the Charmings would support the idea, Regina would not be able to veto them. It could turn out ok, or decent enough, but to that end, the former minor (hopefully NOT major) criminal could not jump in right away and risk Henry forming too big attachment, too fast and then being hurt or disappointed. They needed to be smart about this, use caution, ease the man in, supervise him carefully, ensure that his inexperience did not exacerbate the complex situation, it was difficult enough as it was.
And Regina had no doubt that her reservations were not egoistic this time, whatever the outcome may be for her, she was a Mother and Henry came first, he deserved to be open and trusting with people if he wanted, so she had to be cautious for him. On guard always, ready to step in and lessen his burden as much as she could and no gold stars it would win her from the seasoned heroes, could make her blindly trust strangers with the mental, emotional and physical well-being of her Little Prince. Perhaps, that is why she found Snow`s hastiness with Emma and Rumple`s son strange. Did Mary Margaret not hear how this man blindly believed abandoning her daughter, sending her to jail for something she didn't do was the right thing to do and then not checking to make sure she was ok and knowingly making her believe the first and only person she had let in and considered building a life with, betrayed her trust, would make the perfect soul mate for the blonde.
Emma now knew for sure her parents had always loved her and were forced to send her way. With all both had done since the curse broke that spoke of unconditional family love, the young woman still battled feelings of abandonment, distrust and being an orphan. Yet, everyone were all for fully embracing the man who exacerbated her issues, left her without checking if August told the truth about which side he was on, but also thought sending her in jail was the way to do it, as her life partner. The man had lived long and was an unknown entity for the most part, he had not told anyone his entire life story and Rumple was far from dream dad material, but that was not a green card to giving Neal full free pass and reign, hoping he does not mess up. If any girl pulled quarter of this crap on Henry, Regina would make Maleficent`s dragon form look like a teddy bear.
Extenuating circumstances and all, did the situation not warrant at least some wariness from the married couple and a few strong worded lectures, encouraging higher levels of consideration and dedication in the future from the potential son-in-law? Make him work to compensate what Emma and Henry had been put through. For a man ready to marry another mere days ago, he had quickly decided he loved Emma again. That smug bitch had deceived him from the beginning, but he learned that at the end, and the always suspicious blonde accepted his hours-after-that-revelation change of mind without any doubts, but had denied any substantial and lasting feelings on the part of the miserable excuse for a villain, lovesick puppy of a pirate until a magic cave truth-vomit session.
The unavoidable proximity to these people gave Regina premium house balcony seats to their pointless drama, it was like watching a train wreck: you don't want to watch and have things to do, but cannot keep your eyes away from the sheer wreckage of unsalvageable detruis everywhere. There was no guarantee they would all make it out and alive, Charming and Snow were already in a fucked up situation where even in case of rescue mission success they may stay behind to save David`s life. Emma may deny it till she was blue in the face, but two ego-controlled typically brash and reckless men loved her, also loving to follow her around and fight over her even when they are supposed to focus on getting this rescue somewhere. While it was Charming and Princess-y of her to give the situation more time and energy than wise and practical at the moment, sticking to ONE plan for rescuing Henry and getting the hell out of here was crucial and her feeling unsure and nervous in general was counterproductive. Now was not the time to decide changing the game plan every 5 seconds was in fashion for all up-on-current-trends regular heroes.
Neal could decide how to deal with Rumple and that branch of the family and make a big drama of it after they had Henry, as far as Regina was concerned. It irked the Queen that the Pirate had enough guts to dare use her attempt at saving her son to chase his second chance at true love (surely he knew if he messed this for her, she would make him beg for a an early direct ticket to eternity in hell), but chose this moment in history to start making detours from the path to the common objective. In however many centuries he had lived, this was the worst moment to have an existential crisis and lose focus of what needed to be done. Yet, he would undoubtedly be better received than her from the Enchanted Forest general population once this was over. Emma having someone else to keep her busy and be target for her barbed tongue would be far from an undesirable development in Regina`s eyes. If the blonde choose the pirate captain, the Queen at least knew what his past contained and what land mines to expect if he stuck around to play back up to the Charming trio. It would not hurt to know Emma would have a dedicated support, ready to jump in front of her or risk morally questionable acts to rein in reckless acts of selfless heroism from the Saviour for Henry`s sake.
One way or another, Rumple and Hook would likely stick around her town and her son because of Neal and Emma. And Regina would ensure whatever crazy mess ended being the Charming family, their inner circle and extended relatives, nobody`s past, present or future would impact Henry negatively in any way. Regina Mills was born to love unconditionally with everything she had, had been taught insurmountable amounts of complex magic and had become a mother the day she first took Henry home. No stone would be left unturned, even permanent alliance with the Charmings was acceptable (that would include monitoring and protection extended from her if necessary) to give the youngest Mills Prince his Happily Ever After.
Author`s note: this started from a slightly different concept, but then took a life of its own and grew into this monstrosity, Regina had a lot more to say at a point in time when she was very much without a confidant and surrounded by unlikely companions, who were somewhat preoccupied with personal issues than I initially expected; Her observations are not meant as omnipresent truth, her opinion is based on her past and what she learned, so very subjective to who she is right then, this story presumes the angst got the rescue team talking and Regina and Co heard how a lot of things took place; expect other Povs in following chapters; Next up: Hook and Rumple ponder OutlawQueen and the life situation at that moment;