The True Story of Lily and James Potter's Death
By dingodung
Voldemort's POV
I was at home minding my own business when I heard a knock. I opened the door and saw a letter. It said it was from the Potters!
When I read it, it said they were inviting me to their house!
I was so happy because people never invited me to their house because they think I'm bad. The only bloody reason why people think that is because I was there during a muggle's heart attack.
On the day I was supposed to go to the Potters' house none of my clothes were clean except this dark, evil looking robe.
It was almost time to go so I put it on and ran outside.
When I got outside I looked for something to ride on. Unfortunately, I couldn't find anything useful but a broom. I got nervous as I climbed on the broom.
The last time I remembered riding on a broom was 20 years ago, and according to me, that is a long time ago. I said, "What the heck," and pushed off the ground anyway.
I was smoothly soaring until the broom ran out of magic. I was out of control! I crashed so hard that I accidentally broke the door. Lucky for me, I landed on my feet inside the house.
When I was inside, I hurt so bad I was murmuring. Then, I saw Lily running up to me with a chair. I thought I was going to be seated. Instead, she ran up to me and hit me in the head. Without warning, the bloody, wooden thing broke. Talk about rude manners!
I then realized that someone had tricked me into thinking the Potters invited me over to their house. Then James started shooting spells at me like there was no tomorrow. Then I remembered that my evil looking robe was magic proof.
Given up on magic, James ran away to his room. When he came out, he had one gun in each hand.
You could see clearly that the first gun was a laser gun. What was the other gun? It was a M-61!!! I didn't even know that the Potters' had a laser and M-61!
James kept shooting the M-61 at me until it was out of bullets. All of the bullet's energy got sucked into my robe.
James shot two lasers at my robe, but they too, reflected off my robe and killed Lily and James.
I started walking around the ruins of their house. That was, when I ran across a room filled with baby stuff. In a crib, I saw a baby sucking on a sucker.
Aww. It's so cute. I thought. Little did I know that the son of the devil was more powerful than I when eating sweets.
But I couldn't resist. I stepped forward and touched that angelic face of his. Then did I realize that the baby was sucking my power like he was sucking on that sucker of his. Was it strawberry, cherry, or watermelon? I like watermelon. No time for that now! The little devil was killing me!
The angel-looking demon also turned me into a doll and teleported me to the Bermuda Triangle.
Oh! Did I mention that I had a great time there? It was like Hawaii. There were dancing ladies and all that crap to make Hawaii Hawaiian.
Well that was the true story. Now, because of that stupid flaw, I am the most Wanted in the wizarding world.
Stupid baby. Now I plot my revenge.