xxx MCU xxx

It was a cold day, but luckily there wasn't any snow in the forecast. Yet there was a stinging chill in the air. The sky was clear and the sun would be setting in just a few hours. Bucky had forgotten how short the days could be in December.

Bucky walked to the edge of the rooftop and carefully knelt down. A simple task made more difficult since he was still missing his arm. Once he found his balance, he grabbed the binoculars hanging around his neck and peered through them. It took him just a moment to scope out his target.

"Dammit!" Bucky silently swore to himself then quietly said, "Well that's going to complicate this mission."

"What? What's going on?" Steve replied from the comm in Bucky's ear.

"Nothing, just a minor detail that will delay me," Bucky said. "Don't worry about it."

"You don't have to do this today."

"Yes, I do."

"If you say so, Buck. Just let me know when you're ready to go and ... be careful."

"Yes, mother."

"Bucky ..." Steve started to reply before Bucky shut off the comm.

xxx MCU xxx

A little over an hour later, it was finally clear for him to proceed on his mission. He packed away the binoculars then readjusted his coat to keep the cold at bay and pulled his cap lower on his forehead. He needed to hurry if he wanted to finish this mission in time. He found the closest fire escape, grabbed the rail and threw himself over the side, sliding down the metal stairs as if it were a fireman's pole then landed with a soft thud on the ground. He looked around to see if anyone noticed him. It was a dimly lit alley with just a few Christmas lights from the street reflecting off the garbage cans. With no one else to be seen, Bucky exited the alley and joined the rush of shoppers.

There was a hum of excitement in the air as the people were excitedly tracking down the perfect gifts for their loved ones. Bucky could feel it, but couldn't entertain it. Not yet. Truthfully, he wasn't sure if he would ever get to that point again in his life.

As he left the hustle and bustle of the city behind, the weight of his mission increased but he never backed down. It was too important. After everything that had happened since he broke free from Hydra, this was the first time he was even able to attempt something like this. It seemed appropriate that this should be the first stop.

Once he reached the gate, Bucky waited a moment to gather his courage then carried on. It was almost dark when he finally reached his destination. He closed his eyes and let the memories fill his mind, reliving as best he could every moment of that time. Once it finished, he opened his eyes, a few tears escaping and lowered his head to look at the grave markers.

"Howard and Maria Stark"

He fell to his knees as he read the inscription on the gravestones, then said. "I am so sorry ... if I ... if I would've been stronger ... maybe ... maybe this wouldn't have happened. If only I could've broken through ... I knew you, that should've been enough. Oh god, why couldn't that've done it."

Bucky stayed there and let the grief take over. The grief of losing a friend and the grief of being the one who took his life and the life of his beloved wife.

After a few minutes, he fought to regain his composure. Then made a vow.

"Howard, I need you to know that I will do everything in my power ... and I mean everything ... to never let this happen again, never let someone control me."

xxx The End ... maybe xxx