AUTHOR: Goddess Isa
EMAIL: goddessisa@aol.com
SUMMARY: Now that Buffy is dead, her friends struggle to carry on and tell everyone else what's happened
SPOILER: THE GIFT! If you didn't see it, don't read this. Of course, my summary probably spoiled it for you but whatever :)
RATING: TV-PG
DISTRIBUTION: http://planetslaythis.homestead.com - Fanfiction.net under Goddess Isa - Anyone else, just email me. The Afterthoughts Series may close after this - I haven't decided yet if it's going to continue on to UPN because, after all, things are changing.
DISCLAIMER: Joss owns all. I, like, don't. The WB, for the very last time, also owns this episode. It's so sad. I can barely handle it.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I have never felt more emotionally drained in my life. I knew that Buffy was going to die, and still, the impact, the emotions I'm feeling....I'm a mess. ENjoy the fic. Send feedback. All that good stuff. More is coming. LOTS more. Now that Buffy is dead, you won't believe what I'm going to do. grins evil The Goddess is BACK.
AUTHOR'S NOTES2: There's another reason this series might close....I'm winding things up as best I can....you'll see in the coming stories. I hope.
DEDICATION: For the memories of childhood and friendship and everything in between - all I thought of was the Cuddies.......I'm so glad to have you back in my life, Krash.
5/23/01
The Scooby Gang entered Buffy and Dawn's house as though they were staring at a firing squad. No one was surprised when Spike entered without an invitation. After all, Buffy was dead now. The invite wouldn't have mattered.
"I'm gonna go sit in my new chair," Dawn said quietly and went into the living room.
"I'm sit with her," Anya volunteered.
"Me too," Tara said. She glanced at her clothes and whispered to Anya, "Have I been wearing this same thing for weeks?"
"Yes, and it smells not so good," Anya whispered back.
"I just can't believe it," Xander went to sit on the bench that had once been by the door, and slid to the ground. "I keep forgetting that Buffy redecorated after--"
"It was a way of dealing, I guess," Willow said.
"Poor Dawn," Xander said. "I don't know what she's gonna do without--"
"I'm going to take her," Giles spoke up.
"Way to go," Spike said, sniffling. He and Dawn were the only Scoobies still crying.
"You are?" Willow asked, surprised.
"Her father certainly doesn't want her," Giles snarled. "I doubt he'll even bat an eye when I call and tell him that--"
"Oh my GOD!" Willow shouted. "Angel!"
"Oh dear," Giles said. "He'll be beyond consolation, I am quite sure."
"I'll tell him," Willow said. "I want to. I need to get out of here for awhile and I think....it should be me."
"I completely agree," Spike said.
"Who asked you?" Xander snarled. Then he frowned. "Sorry," he muttered.
"We're going to have to pull together now," Giles threw hard looks at both Xander and Spike. "Bu....she left us in charge of the girls," Giles was unable to say Buffy's name. He doubted he'd ever say it again. "And we are going to work together from this moment on to protect them."
Xander nodded, while Spike wrapped his arms around Giles and gave him a tight hug.
"I know we were never friends, but I gotta thank you for that."
"Not necessary," Giles quickly pulled away. "It would be what B.....what she wanted."
"Tara," Willow walked into the living room. Tara was standing next to Dawn at the fireplace, watching the teenager stare at a photo of Buffy and Joyce taken after she came home from the hospital. "Can I borrow your car? I need to drive to LA. Talk to Angel."
"Of course," she handed over the keys immediately.
"I wanna go with you," Dawn spoke up.
"Dawnie, no," Willow wrapped an arm around her and smoothed her hair. "Stay here. With Giles."
"I can't," Dawn whispered. "I can't be here...I can't be anywhere she was. This house....all the pictures," she turned away from them and looked Willow in the eye.
"Buffy said that," Dawn stopped to sniffle, "She said that Angel moved to a new hotel not too long ago. She-she never got to visit him there. I'll feel safe with him."
"I don't think this is the--"
"Let her go," Spike cut Giles off. "If she wants to go, let her go."
Giles studied the vampire for a minute, then nodded. "All right, Dawn. You may go with Willow."
"Thank you," she whispered.
"Tara," Giles said, "Why don't you go along, too? I hate the idea of three young women traveling the city late at night less than I hate the idea of two."
"I'll take them," Spike spoke up. He rubbed his eyes and cleared his throat. "I can protect 'em. It's my job now, anyway."
Giles didn't argue. He simply hugged the girls, Dawn not too tightly since her wounds were still burning--she'd refused to go to a doctor and had let Giles bandage her up--and watched them go.
"They'll never come back," Tara said when she'd closed the door behind them. "They'll never come back."
"Don't say that," Xander said. "I can't lose another person that I love."
"I don't know how Dawn's still walking," Giles sat down in a leather chair, Joyce's chair, and could swear he still smelled her perfume on the neckrest. "I don't think I would be."
"You're not," Anya observed.
"I don't even know where to go from here," Tara said. "I mean, we're here in Buffy's house......without Buffy."
"It's Dawn's house now, I presume," Giles stated.
"There's a will," Xander said quietly and everyone looked at him.
"Buffy told me about it after Joyce died. It's uh....."
"Where?" Giles asked. He was slightly hurt that Buffy hadn't shared the will directly with him, but knew she'd had her reasons. She always did.
"It's in her weapons chest. With the diaries she kept for Angel. I should've had Willow take them with her."
"I'll see that he gets them," Giles said. "Perhaps we shouldn't read it now. I'm too tired."
"I don't think I can wait," Xander spoke up.
"I was hoping you'd say that," Giles gave him a slight smile and they headed upstairs, Spike bringing up the rear of the group. He didn't know why he was coming along when it was obvious he wouldn't be mentioned--unless Buffy wanted to leave him her favorite vial of Holy Water.
Xander entered Buffy's bedroom first, then Anya. Spike and Giles each stayed in the doorway, not wanting to go in. Giles was sure he'd crack if he did, and he didn't want to crack in front of the others. He was their leader, their father, their Watcher, and he would *not* let them see him sob unendingly over losing his most beloved daughter.
"Here it is," Xander pulled out a heavy envelope with his name written in the center. Below it were the names Angel, Cordelia, Dawn, Giles, Spike and Willow.
"Open it," Anya urged.
Xander did so, and more envelopes fell out. A letter-sized envelope addressed to each of Buffy's friends, plus Dawn and Giles, and the will, which was in a manilla envelope with the words TO BE READ BY XANDER IN FRONT OF EVERYONE written on it in Buffy's messy script.
"I can't read it," Xander showed them what it said. "This isn't everyone."
"After the funeral then," Giles covered what Xander suspected was a sniffle when he handed him his letter. "I'm going to be getting home. You will tell me if you hear from Willow?"
Everyone nodded and followed Giles out. Xander locked the door behind him and shrugged his shoulders. "This is like a great, big 'Now What?'."
"I say we sleep," Tara yawned. "I'll talk to you guys in the morning."
"No way," Spike said. "I'm not letting any of you out of my sight at this hour. I'll walk you home."
"You don't know where I live," Tara pointed out.
"Yes I do," Spike said knowingly. He glanced at Xander and Anya, then said, "You may as well come too. Tara's place is on the way."
The four of them walked through the darkness in silence. It was nearly five a.m. now. It would sunrise soon, and Spike would have to be protected from the daylight. Xander wondered if Spike cared much anymore, but then he saw the way Spike broke a branch off of a tree to avoid having it smack Tara in the face, and he realized that Spike did.
He cared because of Buffy. He didn't want to let her down.
"This is me," Tara said. "I'll see you.....tomorrow?" she guessed.
"Yeah," Xander said. "We'll need to do some things. Make calls."
"Daffodils," Anya spoke up.
"What?" Xander gave her a strange look.
"For the....for Buffy. She liked daffodils."
"That's true," Tara said before closing the door to the dorm. "Good night."
"I gotta ask you somethin'," Spike said as they headed out of the campus and towards Xander's apartment. "You're not gonna like it and you got every right to tell me to burn in the bloody sunshine but I gotta ask."
"You can crash on the couch, Spike," Xander said. "I'll close the blinds."
"Thanks," the vampire muttered. They walked the rest of the way in silence, because there were no more words to be spoken. All else would be revealed when the time came.
When they were together again.