Disclaimer: I do not have the right to these characters. They don't, nor will they ever belong to me. Unless someone puts up the rights on eBay. I would outbid all of you, bitches!

Synapsis: (cause it is a two dollar word whereas 'summary' is a one dollar word, imho) Heero realizes Duo has an important secret that needs telling, and attempts to finagle it out of him, resulting in odd weirdness, or weird oddness.

Pairings/Warnings: Initial 1xR (yeah right, like that'll hold), mainly 1x2x1, possible 3x4 in subsequent chapters... obvious OOCness (I think), gaping plotholes (steer left!), some shallow angsty-ness (no 1x2 fic is completel without it!), and many failed attempts at humor (see enclosed laugh track).

Also, I am in the habit of spelling Heero's name as "Hiiro," so, if you don't like it then... don't read? Or complain, you could do that. Or paste it into your word processor and Find/Replace all the 'Hiiro's for 'Heero's or something. If you have a lot of free time...

Part One:

It occurred to me that there were probably better things to do with my time than to watch my best friend fight with his girlfriend.

I'm sorry, make that his fiancee. I had, after all, helped him pick out the ring. It was rather lovely, if I do say so myself, slim, elegant, with two sapphires that perfectly matched Relena's eyes, a point I made sure would be mentioned when he proposed. She had accepted willingly enough, and only slightly begrudged the fact that they weren't diamonds. Only slightly, and often, and loudly. "But a diamond is forever, Hiiro," she had needled in that sullen tone of hers.

I had been very careful to steer him away from diamonds.

I had also been very careful to keep a safe distance behind them as we walked towards the restaurant, under the pretense of being polite enough to pretend not to overhear their little scrap. To be honest, though, I was just damn sick of hearing it.

"Why won't you listen to me??" came the next shrill line. No chance in ignoring that. I was unfortunately catching up to them as they had stopped to wait for the light to change. Hiiro shot a murderous glare towards me, as if I was the one to blame for his predicament. I smiled genially back at him. Relena caught the little exchange and her attention was diverted to me for a moment, and don't believe me for a second if I tell you I didn't expect what came next. If your friends are couples, you know what comes next.

"What do you think, Duo?" she cornered me; I had nowhere to run except the street, and I gave it some serious thought. Relena, however, just thought I was giving careful consideration to my answer. I rubbed my chin pensively...

"I think, Relena, that the signal just changed and we have 14... no, only 13 seconds to cross or it'll just be plain unsafe to try to cross the street." And with that, I bounded between them and into the road, not even bothering to double check the way was clear in my haste to get away from them and her inane, pointless questions.

It was then that I saw someone that doesn't normally brighten my day, but right then I welcomed as a savior come to Earth. Wu fei Chang was leaning against the grey bricks of the restaurant, waiting for us to arrive and looking thoroughly badass as he stared into space with that slight scowl of his. I barrelled into him quite rudely, but he was ready for me, and I only barely upset his balance. When he recovered he settled that quiet and unpleasant gaze on me instead, and then affected to smile somewhat.

"Aww, Chang!" I clapped my arms around his shoulders affectionately, and his smile promptly vanished. He does not hold well with prolonged physical contact—which is exactly why I do it every chance I get. Just to spite him, really. So I took the opportunity to lean in close and breathe my question into his ear, "So does this mean we're doubling?" I glanced behind me as my favorite couple joined us, and squeezed his shoulders firmly. "Wu fei here says he doesn't like blind dates."

"Well, seeing has I'd have to be, to date you, Maxwell..." He forcibly removed my arm from his shoulders, and made a show of smoothing his clothes and hair.

"Ooh, cheap. But that's just the way I like ya, Fei Fei," the mock kiss was too much for him, and he spun on his heels and made for the heavy swinging doors of the restaurant. Hiiro looked slightly amused and Relena had a faint scrunch to her face, as if she had just eaten something sour. I opened the door for her and gestured her inside with a flourish. She smiled at me, gave Hiiro a quick look that quite plainly said it should have been him rather than me that remembered she was a lady, and walked inside. I continued to hold the door open for Hiiro, who stuck his hands in his pockets and ambled up until he was right beside me. He cocked his head and looked at me meaningfully.

"Whatdo you think anyway, Duo?" the question was honest, and it seemed harmless enough. He watched me expectantly.

Not falling for that. No way no how you're getting little ol' me involved. "I think... that my arm is getting tired," I grinned. "And that if Wu fei wants me to put out he's going to have to get me more than the spaghetti basket. So put in a good word, eh? I hear they've got great ribs here."

"Let me help you with that." His arm shot out so quickly that I flinched, before I realized that he had now put his weight on the door, and was holding it open. He was also dangerously close, in my opinion. And it didn't help when, a moment later, a large family began to herd through the doors, effectively pinning Hiiro against me, who leaned in in order to be polite. He was so close that I could smell him—fuck, his neck was practically pressed against my lips, which of course sent my heart all aflutter, as it is wont to do when Hiiro gets too close. I bit the inside of my cheek, and hard, and resolved to not be red-faced and glassy eyed when Hiiro pulled away and looked at me again.

The last in the procession filed through, a ponytailed preteen with a haughty look on her face, who shot us a rather curious glance as she slinked by, and Hiiro detached himself from me and the door.

I was not sure I had achieved my objective when I saw the look on his face. He crinkled his brow as if he was confused about something. I figured right then I was just doing well not to have to pick up my jaw or wipe the drool off my chin.

I started to clear my throat and say something jokingly clever, but instead I choked on pure air and Hiiro had to pound me on the back a couple of times before I had my voice back. Well, at least I had an excuse for my face to be red. His eyes still had that mysterious glint about them, as if he was trying to figure something out. He gave a half shrug.

"C'mon, Duo. They're waiting."

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a/n: I apologize that this is so short (if you managed to gruel your way through it), the next chapter is much longer, this was just the only place I could break it up sensibly.

Thank you!