SHAKE IT, WU-MAN!
AN: This is what I call an inbetweener- I've got two other fics I have to work on, but it's 7:30 am and I've been up all night, so I need something short n' sweet! ^_^
Disclaimer: I own zip, nudda, zilch, sweet F.A. I'm not even all that partiled to Shania Twain- but the song seemed appropriate! ^_~
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Friezaess: Hey all! Welcome to yet another instalment of my insanity.
G-boys: *groan*
Friezaess: Aw, cheer up, fellas! I wouldn't do anything mean to ya!
Duo: Says the author who killed me off in Musings of Shinigami'.
Friezaess: Eh, heh heh! ^_^; Well Duo, you'll be glad to know that you remain intact in this one.
Quatre: What about the rest of us?
Friezaess: You'll all be fine.
G-boys: *phew*
Friezaess: Except Wufei ^_^
Wufei: INJUSTICE!!
Friezaess: Yeah, yeah. Now c'mon, lighten up! You get to sing and dance and everything!
Wufei: Baka onna! What do you have up your sleeve?
Friezaess: What's your opinion of short skirts, men's shirts and woah-oh-oh?
Wufei: No! You wouldn't!
Friezaess: I am! *hits play on the tape recorder* Ladies and Gentlemen, using my handy-dandy authoress powers, I present to you Wufei's rendition of Shania Twain's Man! I Feel Like a Woman'!
Wufei: Ahhhhhhhh!!
_~*~_
DA DA DA DA DA, DA DA! DA DA DA DA DA, DA DA!
*Wufei appears onstage dressed in an itty-bitty skirt, LOOOOOW-cut blouse and top hat. The other four pilots are all playing instruments- Heero on drums, Duo on guitar, Quatre on trumpet and Trowa on keyboard*
Wufei: *singing*
I'm going out tonight-I'm feelin' all hyped
Gonna blow up some OZ M.S.
Wanna do some damage-really kick their asses
Yeah, I'll kill em all in this dress
*starts dancing*
No inhibitions-make no conditions
Now I'm wearin' a skirt
I ain't gonna act all chauvinistic and macho
I only wanna cause some hurt
The best thing about being a woman
Is you can distract the enemy with your double D's!
*leans over so you can see the extent of his fake boobies*
*Pilots crack up laughing*
Oh, oh, oh, I'm totally crazy! I'm really a lady!
Noin's shirts, Po's skirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go femme, yeah, I'll do it again!
Oh, oh, oh, I'm an attraction, Shenlong's in action
Kickin' OZ butt, in a low-cut
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free, yeah, to wear 6-inch stilettos
Man! I feel like an onna!
Duo on guitar: DA DA DA DA DA!
Wufei:
The boys need a fight, tonight we just might
Go out into space and arouse fear
I don't need trousers- I only wear tights
And make-up endorsed by Britney Spears
Quatre: *glances at Wufei's chest* Looks like make-up's not the only thing he's wearing that's endorsed by Britney! O_o
Wufei:
The best thing about being a woman
Is painting your Gundam lovely shades of pink, yeah!
Duo: *pictures Deathscythe in pink and shudders*
Wufei:
Oh, oh, oh! I really am crazy! Totally lady!
*other pilots cringe at the thought of the surgical procedure a man would have to go through to become TOTALLY lady*
Tight shirts, frilly skirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go nutty, I got a great body
*muffled laughter from Friezaess and the pilots*
Oh, oh, oh, get in on the action, I really will smash em
Trieze will pay when he sees me this way
Heero: He's not the only one
Wufei:
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free, yeah, to dress up Nataku
*flashes a poleroid of his Gundam in a giant tutu*
Man! I feel like an onna!
DA DA DA DA DA!
The best thing about being a woman
Is the way I look in a G-string and bra-less boob tube...
*Wufei's outfit suddenly changes into the one he just described, giving the other four pilots a not so nice view*
Others: Ahhhhhhhh!!
Friezaess: Kodak moment! *whips out her camera*
Oh, oh, oh, I'm just so damn crazy, bout being a lady
Pink shirts, mauve skirts
Quatre: And what's so wrong with THAT?!
*Sweatdrops all round, people*
Oh, oh, oh, really go girly, like Elizabeth Hurly
Oh, oh, oh, wearing Une's jewellery, it really is kewlies!
Dorothy's scared, Heero looks mad
Heero: *Deathglare ©*
Wufei:
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to wear this kinky thong
Man! I feel like an onna!
I get totally femme
Wanna see it again?
Pilots: NO!
Come on, Nataku!
I feel like an onna!
DA DA DA DA DA!
_~*~_
*tape stops*
Wufei: Ahhhh! Someone get me some clothes!!
Quatre: It's okay Wufei, I brought an extra change. *thus Quatre causes the second wave of sweatdrops that day*
Heero: Why did we have to be situated BEHIND him? Especially when he was shaking his arse around in that g-string
Wufei: INJUSTICE!!
Friezaess: Luck, I guess! ^_^
Trowa: At least you had your drum set to hide behind- do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on sheet music when every time you look up, there's a big, wobbly butt in your face?
Duo: Point. Still, I didn't mind the boobs! *everyone gives Duo an odd look* What?
Heero: You just opened the floodgate for yaoi lovers out there.
Duo: Oh, come on!! They looked so REAL!
Friezaess: Maybe they ARE real!
Quatre: Wufei, is there something you're hiding from us?
Wufei: BAKAS!!! Especially you, onna!
Friezaess: Funny, you seemed like you were enjoying yourself just a few moments ago ^_^!
Wufei: And how did Nataku get in a tutu, anyway?!
Friezaess: Well *grins and pulls out a giant sewing kit*
Wufei: Injustice! Weak onna! Where did I put my katana?!
Friezaess: And so, before I get chopped up into itty-bitty pieces, I bring a close to this fan-fic.
Wufei: *sword in hand* DIIIIIIIIIIE! *about to bring it down on Friezaess*
THE END!
(Wufei: Damn!)
Please review!