I know, I know, it's been forever. Sorry! I just haven't been in the mood to write, but I'll try to get back working on my other stories soon. So enjoy this one-shot based on Kenny Chesney's Who You'd Be Today.
He could hear Adam's voice in the back of his head begging him to set the journal down, begging him to forget, begging him to move on. But he could never move on. That's what Adam had never understood. He couldn't just forget about the years he spent loving her. The years he spent after that, cursing God for taking her away from him.
He needed to clear his head, so without a second thought Eli headed into the bitter cold of Toronto's winter towards the abandoned church.
Their spot.
The sun was blinding, making a mockery of the season. If it was so bright and the skies were so blue then why was the cold nipping at him like blades? These were the worst kind of days. The beauty made the pain even worse. She would never experience another bright horizon, so why was he able to? It wasn't fair, she was too young. She didn't deserve to have her life shortened. And just like that the skies started to darken, as if they knew what he was feeling. Eli held out his hand and the first raindrop landed in the middle of his pale hand. The rain was almost worse than the sun because he could remember every detail about her. The way her smile always seemed to brighten the dark world he was used to living in. Her curly hair falling limp as the rain soaked through it. And that's when he began to hear her laugh. The angelic ring echoes around him, almost like it was bouncing off the trees and heading right back at him.
As he walked his thumb brushed the cover of the tattered brown book held in his hands. Every thought she had was held within the thin binding, and he'd be damned if anything happened to break his last tie to her, so he tried to protect it from the rain by tucking it under is leather jacket.
His journey soon ended as he came upon the rubble that had once built up what he believed to be a beautiful building. His feet carried him to the hammock they had once shared during their long nights. The rain was now blocked by the makeshift roof Eli had built over their heads to keep them dry on nights like this one.
His hand clasped the journal he had tucked in his jacket to keep safe and he sat himself down on the hammock, ready to read the night away.
It wasn't fair.
She should still be here.
She was a writer, and he couldn't help but to think that her story had been cut too soon, her death ripping the rest of the pages out. This theory killed him as well, he had been through hell because of her.
Adam told him that she would want him to move on. To find another woman. To start a family. However, for some reason he couldn't bring himself to take his friend's advice. Maybe it was because deep within his heart he knew no one could replace her, and sometimes he left himself wonder who she would be today.
Would she finally follow through with her dreams of being a journalist? Would she be able to travel the world, finding new things to write about? What about family?
He wished that with all of his heart and soul that she could have lived long enough for him to call her his wife. He could always picture her being the best mom in the world.
She wanted two kids. One boy, one girl, the boy being the eldest so that he could always protect his little sister. Eli wondered what they would have named their children. She had wanted Ryder and Rory while Eli had preferred Kai and Lenox.
But now all that would only be a hope made in vain.
Occasionally the sky would be blue enough to match her eyes, and he swore he could talk to her. If she had ever heard him admit it she would laugh and tell him he was just being silly. To him it seemed as if being silly was the only thing he could do to find her.
Finally he turned to the last page and just sat there staring at her messy cursive, falling in love with the way she carelessly put her life out there for anyone to read.
There was no doubt he missed her. That he would always miss her, but for once he thought everything would be alright, because one day he would be with her again.