The Beginning of the End of Marvelous Comics.
"So you're the product of an acid trip, huh? And little kids love you? Wow." The mountain of a man sat down the metal box he was carrying. "This is going to be...interesting." He then proceeded to sit on the back of a Ford F-350, the only thing around that would support his weight. "Well, if you control all of this, then Juggy's in."
"Watch your mouth, or you'll wind up like your friend there." The dark figure stated. He took a long pull from the Cuban cigar and exhaled, tapping it on the steel box. "We can make you one of these too."
The box rattled and bounced around as its contents growled and snarled. "Wait 'til I get out of this fraggin' box, Bub. You'll wish you were back on that fraggin' steamboat when I get through with ya!"
"Get it straight, Shorty. I run this. Don't let the white gloves and big buttons fool you. Ha-Hah." The dark figure put out his cigar against the steel corner. "If I wasn't on in 2 minutes, I'd teach you a lesson myself. Consider yourself lucky. I'm not Stan Lee. You WILL get, how do we say in this business...erased. Now if you'll excuse me, IT"S SHOWTIME! Ha-Hah. OH Boy!
The Dark Figure opened the door and walked out to the cheering throngs of children. As the door slams, the faint cheering can still be heard: "M-I-C...K-E-Y..."
"Iss not a good idea to piss off de new boss, cher. You play nice now or you neva see de light of day again."
"Can it, Cajun! I ain't takin' this buyout crap lyin' down. Let me out of this fraggin' cage so I can stop it!" The box begins to hop and spin around, making "The Cajun" dizzy just watching it. The snarls and growling gives way to heavy breathing as the box settles back to its almost original position.
"Hyuck, I wouldn't do that if I were you. Me and Max here built that Steel Container to hold any and ev'rything. Right Maxy?"
"Dad!" Just leave him alone. It's not like I wanted any parts of this. Besides, no one even liked "Goof Troop" anyway. The X-Men had 3 movies, 3 different Cartoon Series, and a mess of games, in addition to the comic books. We had what? 2 seasons and 1 stupid movie?! Let it go. I'm not even your real son..."
"Garsh. I'm sorry you feel that way. I guess I don't need these pictures of you from our last vacation. You know the ones of you, Minnie, and Daisy in the hot tub at MGM Grand. I'm sure Donald will love to see them...especially while he's cleaning his gun collection..."
"I'm sorry...Dad." Max cleared his throat and fixed his collar. "I don't know what I'm saying, heh heh. It's all the stress and drama from the merger and..."
"It's okay Maxy my boy. Just don't let it happen again, hyuck. I know what you need. Let's head over to the Mad Hatter's place. I heard he got some new girls down there. He mentioned something about a storm..." The two left for the club, one straightening his bowtie, the other counting singles.
"These...people...are insane! I gotta get outta here. Where the hell is the Hulk when you need him?! The chains can be heard shifting around inside the box.
"I'm afraid he's been put down, Logan. The Hulk was too uncontrollable for Disney Studios, so he was executed. He didn't go without a fight though. Epcot Center will be in orbit for quite some time to come."
"Hank, you gotta get me out of this fraggin' box NOW! I AM NOT GOING TO BE NEXT!"
A door opens and several men walk through with an object. Two of these men, both in tailored suits, stroll towards the two men and the steel box. "Are these the ones they call "Mutants?""
The man with the clipboard replies, "Yes they are, Mister Eisner. You already know Remy, The blue-furred Gentleman is Dr. Henry McCoy, also known as "Beast". The man you see in the box is..."
"I know him all too well." Mr. Eisner takes a long pull from his Cuban cigar, then blows the smoke into the cage. "This spring's hottest movie, beating "Up" by millions. Are you comfortable Logan? May I call you Logan?"
"You can't even call me a cab, let alone by my fraggin' name. Now let me out of this fraggin' cage!" As he struggles and fights, the metal of the box begins to groan in anguish, but it still holds.
"If you weren't such a hot commodity right now, with the t-shirt, toys and poster sales, you'd be lying next to Banner over there." Eisner points his cigar at the gurney sitting by the dock door. A huge green arm hangs down from under the sheet, limp and lifeless. "It's your choice. Play nice or play DEAD." Eisner spit out his words at Weapon X like they were bad clams. For the first time today, the cage was silent.
As the two men walked away, the two very confused former X-Men looked at the box in shock. They just knew their short-tempered comrade had an evil comeback, especially after being threatened. There was only silence...an eerie silence...almost like a calm before a hurricane hits. The two mutants look into the box to see their greatest joy and worst fear at the exact same time. At the bottom of the cell was a shredded straight-jacket, some chains that were still locked by several thick master locks, and an X-shaped hole. Scratched into the wall next to the hole was a message of three simple words: I HATE DISNEY.