Morning After
by La Chatte Noire
Rated: R, just to be safe
This is a sequel to Tara Tory's 'Hearts Desire.' If you haven't read it it can be found at the WTP archive, address
http://remembrall.slashcity.net/~telanu/plank/frames.htm
Follow the links, it's not hard.
Disclaimer: If I were making money here I would be able to aquire a better Rennisance Faire costume. Think about it. (note: the Rennisance Faire belongs to the St. Ives guild.)
Anyway, on with the show.
-----
Dawn rose on the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. In the hospital wing, Professor Severus Snape murmured as the gray light before dawn crept into his eyes. He turned over and fell back into sleep, settled in the warm embrace of a certain Harry Potter. As the sun rose, there was a voice on the edge of his thoughts, a voice that whispered something soft, indiscernible, lovely.
The first light of day crept slowly into the hallway. It saddened the group seated there as Professors Hooch and McGonagall, Sirius, and Dumbledore speculated on the fate of their fallen comrade. Dumbledore sat downcast, his eyes devoid of their usual twinkle. Hooch and McGonagall were uncharacteristically mournful and silent. Even Sirius was saddened by the loss of his beloved enemy. Not a one could see how their co-worker and, most grudgingly admitted, friend could have survived the Hearts Desire curse.
-----
Out in the corridor, day had fully arrived. Dumbledore sighed. "Well," he said, drawing teary looks from the others, "we may as well see if Harry managed to save him."
There were sighs and stifled sobs all around. Sirius snorted. "Nobody could get through to the stubborn old git," he mumbled to no one.
Dumbledore reached the door first and found it locked with a spell of moderate strength. He looked at it slightly confused, the opened it with an unlocking charm.
The troupe filed through the door slowly, expecting the worst and completely beyond hope.
There was a new gasp as each person saw what lay in the bed before them. Even the harshest of souls tried their hardest not to cry.
Before them was a vision of love and tenderness that was too sad to contemplate. Harry and Snape were lying together, naked, in each other's arms. Harry clutched at the older man like a child to a beloved stuffed bear. Snape's black hair was strewn about the pillow forming a black halo around him, reminiscent of the halo around the Messenger of Death. His lips were slack and his eyes half-open. He held onto the younger man loosely, as though death had sapped the strength from a tight lovers-embrace.
Dumbledore took pity on Harry and touched the boy's shoulder to wake him up. Harry murmured slightly and gripped Snape ever tighter. Half asleep, he wound a hand in the black, greasy hair and kissed the big nose in front of him.
It was the resultant sobs from McGonagall that brought him fully into the waking world. He opened his eyes.
Harry looked upon the face of the man whom he had claimed to love, and actually if he dared to admit it truly did love. He took a few labored breaths and then gripped the man's face. "No," he gasped. "No, please, Severus, wake up. Please wake up. Don't die on me, don't do this to me. No...no...No...NO!" Harry wailed his despair and wrapped his arms around the body in front of him. He buried his face into the older man's shoulder and cried.
While he cried, Dumbledore tapped those around him and motioned toward the door. The group slowly moved toward the door and out into the corridor beyond. As soon as they were outside, Dumbledore spoke softly, "Let's give him a few moments alone." The others only nodded.
Inside, Harry continued to sob miserably. Between incoherent babble, he told Snape his love and how it had come to him last night in an epiphany. He cried until he ran out of tears.
As soon as his sobs slowed from frantic sadness into stagnant misery, he noticed something he had been too loud to hear before.
-----
In the corridor, the staff dabbed at their eyes and tried to keep their calm. Dumbledore sadly called up a house elf, conjured a notice about the cancellation of classes for the day, and asked the elf to put it up in the Great Hall. Sirius sat down rather heavily in the first chair he found and attempted to process the fact that his godson had been in love with the slimy git. Professors McGonagall and Hooch, being closet romantics, hugged one another and cried onto each others shoulders. Dumbledore sighed and said in a breaking voice, "Might as well see if he's alright yet." He got up slowly, showing each year of his century-and-a-half lifetime, and trudged over to the door.
-----
Long after Harry had stopped sobbing, he felt a hand stroke his hair. He sat up slightly, gazing in disbelief at the face of his love. The open black eyes were shuttered as usual, the hair was greasier than it had ever been before, the nose was still huge, the mouth thin, the skin sallow, and the body still looked like it had fallen down a mountain, but to Harry it was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. Harry smiled happily, mouth open, then proceeded to thank any deity involved while smothering the man below him in wet, gleeful kisses.
Snape grabbed hold of Harry around the shoulders and hoisted him off of his chest. "I'm still alive, aren't I?" he asked, sounding almost disappointed.
"Oh, yes you're still alive, and it's a miracle!" exclaimed Harry, happier than he had ever been in his life.
Snape was thinking of a good or more accurately evilly bad reply when the door opened. In the doorway stood Dumbledore and three heads that happened to be peering over and around him. Each head wore a similar expression of disbelief, but each look was tempered by varying degrees of happiness. There was a sudden scramble of limbs as everyone tried to enter the room at once. Amid all the pushing and shoving, only Dumbledore was able to enter smoothly. He enveloped both naked men in a warm, fatherly hug.
By this time the rest of the onlookers had forced their way into the room. They gathered in a semicircle around the bed and seemed to collectively inhale as they prepared the question on all their minds. Snape anticipated it. "I have no idea what my heart's desire was," he stated loudly and firmly.
"But, you must know, Severus," said Dumbledore as he tried not to seem too pleased. "Otherwise it wouldn't have been fulfilled."
"Well apparently it was, and it wasn't what I had originally thought it was."
McGonagall jumped in. "And what does that mean?" she asked.
Harry answered before Snape could do so. "He thought his heart's desire was to die."
There were rounds of gasps and looks amid the spectators as Snape gave Harry the evil eye. "Yes, I did," Snape said venomously. "Too bad it wasn't."
Dumbledore spoke up, quite concerned about the mental well being of his friend. "But why, Severus?" he asked. "Why did you want to die so much?"
Snape shrugged. "It's going to happen sooner or later," he began, "and considering how the Dark Lord and his Death Eaters would take my survival of that blasted curse and the removal of my dark mark, it seemed easier for it to end sooner rather than later. Better here at Hogwarts, just drifting into sleep one morning and never waking up than in a Death Eater's circle by the Cruciatus Curse thrown by the wands of a dozen Death Eaters."
"That does have a certain wisdom to it," said Sirius thoughtfully. The other people in the room looked at him weirdly. "Well," he defended, "that's what I would choose, too."
"Anyway," said Dumbledore, "do you remember anything from around sunrise?"
"I remember turning over," said Snape thoughtfully. "The sun was about to shine in my eyes. I remember being held, and for once I didn't mind. I heard somebody say something, but I didn't hear it."
"Think, Severus, it might be important."
"I didn't understand what was said. It was whispered too softly. Hell, it was probably just Potter breathing in my ear."
"No," said Harry. "I did say something."
Dumbledore's eyes lit brighter. "What was it?"
Harry looked Snape straight in the eye. "It was the truth," he said firmly.
Snape looked suspicious. "What was it?"
Harry kept staring Snape in the eye and dropped his emotional walls, letting the truth come pouring out through his eyes. "I said that I love you."
Snape was taken aback by the sincerity in those eyes as he said it. He regained his control quickly, however, and gained an amount of anger. "So this is what brought me back to life?! A declaration of love from one whom I hate deeply? Do you know what that implies? I refuse to believe that my heart's desire was to see you, Mr. Potter, declaring love to me in front of my boss-" he pointed at each person as he named them off "-my house rival, my hated enemy, and a co-worker?" He got up out of the bed and, ignoring his lack of attire, continued. "You, Mr. Potter, are a sick individual to think you could have anything to do with me. I wish you had left me for death!" Snape promptly turned and stormed out of the room, grabbing his hospital gown from the chair beside the bed as he left.
Harry tried to bite back tears as the others turned to look at him. He failed. The tears began to fall. Harry curled up into a ball and sobbed. Sirius sat down on the bed beside him to comfort him. As soon as Sirius's hand touched his shoulder, Harry jumped from the bed, grabbed his robes off the chair, and ran from the room, tears streaming behind.
As Dumbledore watched the pair run off, he sighed. "That went well," he said in an uncharacteristically sarcastic way. He left to see if he couldn't patch a few things up.
-----
Snape was pacing holes in his sitting room carpet when Dumbledore knocked on the door. Snape growled as the door was opened. "I'm feeling just fine, Albus," he sneered. "I don't need you to check up on me and I have no idea as to why I'm still alive."
"I see," said Dumbledore, almost gravely. "However, I'm not here to check up on you. I'm here about Harry."
"I have no idea why he'd be in this conversation."
"Don't you? He declared love for you and miraculously you survived. What does that say to you?"
"It says that there are a few too many coincidences here for my tastes."
"It tells me that maybe you need some introspection. I order you to meditate."
"You can't order me to do that. I don't have a need to."
"Then I'm asking as a friend, please meditate." Dumbledore paused, then continued sagely. "There have been times in the past when you haven't seen the need but I have, and those times have been when you needed it the most. Please except my judgement this time. This one, last time."
Snape could never fault the wisdom of Dumbledore, and now was no exception. "Very well," he agreed. "Leave me be and I'll meditate."
Dumbledore smiled. "I'll warn the others not to disturb you. Good luck." And with that he left.
Snape watched as the door closed and scowled at it. He then proceeded to lock it and begin the search for his meditation tools.
-----
Harry wandered aimlessly through the corridors of school, eyes simultaneously daring any of the other students to even approach him and screaming a silent plea for help. The students who dove out of his path mainly sensed the former, but those who saw the latter thought twice about comforting him.
Harry ended up in front of the rooms that Sirius had been loaned for the duration of this ordeal. Not knowing the locking wards placed on the door, he slumped down just beside the door and began to sob anew.
Sirius approached. He was planning on making a pit stop in his chambers, then joining the search for Harry. He didn't need to search far.
"Harry," he began, but was unsure what to say next. He opted for what he felt was the truth. "The man's a slimy git, Harry. You deserve much better than that. Take this opportunity to find a nice witch and settle down."
Harry's head shot up in embarrassment at being found and anger that anyone would tell him to ignore his heart. "First of all, Sirius," Harry began, "I don't want to settle down with a nice witch. Second, Severus isn't slimy. Third, considering how many people I've killed, I don't deserve better than him. I don't even deserve him. And finally, I've listened to what everyone wants for me all my life. I've never done anything that I wanted to just for myself. I love him, and I want to be with him."
Sirius was taken aback by Harry's outburst. "You can't love him, Harry, he's old enough to be your father."
"'This is not about age / Time spent on the Earth doesn't mean you grow in mind,'" quoted Harry softly. (AN: Signs by Creed)
"What did you say?" asked Sirius suspiciously.
"I said age doesn't matter, and it shouldn't matter to you," spat Harry.
"There is no possible way you can be serious, Harry, the man is slimy, he's dark, he's evil, he's a dirty, rotten, lying son of a-"
Sirius' rant was cut off when Harry punched him square on the nose. "I will not have you insulting the man I love," shouted Harry.
Sirius held his bleeding, broken nose, staring incredulously at his insubordinate godson. Then he snapped. "You ungrateful little-"
Harry drew his wand and threw a major, and slightly illegal, curse at his godfather before the attack came. Sirius went flying backward through the air into the wall behind with a thud and a moan. Still brandishing the wand, he marched up and stood over his godfather. "If you won't accept my choices, then I sure as hell don't need you making them for me," he said menacingly. "If you ever come to your senses, then I might find it in my heart to forgive you. Until then, I bid thee adieu."
Harry left the battered yet completely conscious body of his godfather behind as he stalked off, out of the castle, in the direction of the only place he could think of to get peace enough to think: the Shrieking Shack.
-----
Snape sat on a pile of pillows in the middle of a closed room in the deepest dungeons of Hogwarts. A circle of quartz crystal points surrounded him. Incense of bat's blood and powdered Dragon's Blood Reed hung in the air. There were 4 figurines at the edge of the circle, one at each quarter, each representing one of the 4 elements of magic. He held a crystal ball tightly in his hands to focus his energies. His face showed complete serenity, yet his eyes were moving at a furious pace. He was deep in his prescribed meditation.
In his vision, he sat in a tree with a crow by his side, a judge of cosmic law and his personal Guide. The crow was speaking to him.
"I know why you're here," the crow said knowingly. "You seek to know why you still live."
"That I do, Judicator," said Snape.
"And you would not be satisfied with the simple answer that you will be needed in the physical realm to prevent it from falling into chaos, even though that is one of the reasons."
"To tell the truth, I dread that answer."
"You have been running from your fate these past few years, my child."
"I have? But I've been doing all I can to-"
The crow cut him off. "I don't just mean in terms of the Great War. You have other fates as well."
Snape looked confused. "What other fates might I have?" he asked.
The crow sighed. "You are not the only one who might tip the outcome of the War," explained the crow. "There is one other, one whose survival is crucial not only to win the War but to begin the Reconstruction."
Realization dawned on Snape. "Harry Potter."
The crow smiled. "Yes, Harry Potter."
"But Judicator, he's just a boy."
"You should know by now that the physical body does not match the age of the soul. All he needs is to win the War, start the Reconstruction, and know true love, then he will transcend the physical realm forever, if he so wishes."
Snape was surprised. "He is an old soul."
"That he is. Your fate is to help him, to be his true love. And before you voice revulsion, search your heart. Harry's true love will always be returned."
Snape was ready to leave his Guide's tree when a feeling hit him like a stone wall. It was love, and it was for the boy. "I can't. He hates me now for what I did to him."
"On the contrary, your love is quite a resilient spirit. You, as a teacher along his Path, should know that better than anyone."
Snape smiled wryly. "That's true. Once he forms an opinion it doesn't change unless there's a reason and my brush-off wasn't a good enough one."
"You're ready to go back now," the crow said, then spread its wings and leapt from the tree.
Snape's vision was fading when he thought of something, the reason why he was in meditation in the first place. "Wait!" he called. "What was my heart's desire?"
Just before Snape's vision ended, the crow called down "To be loved, and to love back!"
Snape snapped out of his vision with the usual disorientation. It all made sense now. He got up, cleared the Circle, put away his figurines and exited the room as fast as he could eloquently manage.
-----
Snape ran up the corridors, searching for someone, anyone, who might know where Harry was. He ran into Dumbledore first.
"Why hello, Severus," greeted Dumbledore as he was cornered by a very out of breath Snape. "Did you do what we talked about?"
Snape, still gasping, could only nod. I'm too old for this, he thought.
"Well, you've never been quite this excited to talk about a vision before," smiled the older wizard. "I take it you learned something of great importance."
"Where's Harry?" panted Snape. He regained his composure as he felt a student's eyes stare oddly from behind. Snape looked back and glared. While still looking back, watching the student scurry away, he elaborated, "I need to talk to him about something."
"I haven't seen him since he left the hospital wing," said Dumbledore curiously. "You might ask Sirius, he is after all, the boy's godfather."
Snape groaned inwardly. "Last resort," he promised Dumbledore. "I'll go to him as a last resort."
Professor McGonagall hurried up. "Albus, Harry's put his godfather in the hospital wing."
Dumbledore looked at Snape. "Are you sure you don't want to make that 'First Resort?'" Snape scowled at the thought. McGonagall looked confused. Dumbledore sighed inwardly. "Let's see how he's doing, shall we?" intoned Dumbledore.
-----
Sirius was sitting on one of the beds getting his nose repaired when the three of them entered. He rolled his eyes and started a rant when Snape came into view. "First Harry sleeps with you, you greasy bastard, then he decks be for you, then curses be also for you I bight add, then he runs off to God dows where, now you're here to gloat about it I presume?" Sirius's nose was still swollen, so he sounded a tad off.
Snape glared. "I am not here to gloat you idiot," he sneered. "I'm wondering where Harry ran off to." He paused. "Wait, he cursed you?"
Madam Pomfrey answered as she worked. "It was a watered down version of the Cruciatus, short, strong."
Dumbledore continued that line of speech, "And newly discovered so it's only slightly illegal. The Ministry isn't able to give any sort of punishment for it except a warning and a slap on the wrist for repeated offenders. It's become quite the rage among the Death Eater circles. I've taken to teaching our fighters it as well."
Snape became irritated as the conversation in the room turned toward the illegal curse. "Does anyone know where Harry went?" he called out.
"NO!" Sirius yelled back then swore as his nose started bleeding again.
Snape growled at the uncooperative animagus, then stalked out of the hospital wing. He thought about places the boy might go, places where he wouldn't be disturbed but would be too obvious for any of his friends to figure out. He grinned as he came up with an idea, ludicrous though it was. He hurried out to the school grounds to talk to Hagrid.
-----
Harry sat sobbing in the Shrieking Shack, wondering why the only thing he had every wanted for himself was out of his reach. He didn't notice that he wasn't alone until the person was leaning down to sit next to him.
-----
Snape was lifted into a great bear hug the moment Hagrid opened his door. "Yer alive, yer alive yeh big nosed git, they said yeh wouldn' be livin' through the night, and here y'are," Hagrid sobbed happily into Snape's chest because his shoulder was too thin to support the half-Giant's tears of joy.
Snape didn't even try to struggle free, he knew better. He waited patiently while Hagrid cried and whooped and in general showed the world his happiness.
When Hagrid regained most of his composure, Snape cut to the heart of the matter. "I'm looking for Harry," he said solemnly.
"Oh, he wen' off to the Shriekin' Shack. Looked mighty upset if yeh ask me," Hagrid answered. "Why yeh lookin'?"
Snape looked as sheepish as he could while still looking like himself. "I caused it," he admitted. "I said some things I shouldn't have and now he's run off."
Hagrid didn't approve, but he felt that trying to make amends was noble, and he told Snape just that.
"Thank you, now if you'll excuse me, I have a wayward Potter to catch," he said as he got up. He left Hagrid in silence as the man tried to process the fact that Snape had just been polite and had made half a joke. Maybe, he thought, that brush with death did him some good.
-----
Snape raced down the passageway to the Shrieking Shack. The last two times he had done so, he had unwittingly walked into a trap. He hoped that that wasn't the case this time.
When he reached the end, he followed the soft sounds of sobbing to their source, the keeper of the oldest soul he has met. Harry Potter.
Snape slid down the wall the boy was leaning against to sit next to him. Harry looked up. "Why?" he asked softly, "Why did you drive me away?"
"I didn't know what I know now," Snape said softly, unable to meet the younger man's eyes.
"And what do you know now?"
"I know my Heart's Desire. I was to be loved, truly loved."
"So I just happened to be there for you?" Harry scoffed as he said this. "Well, you're alive now, so now you can let me alone."
Snape grabbed Harry's arm as he had started moving away. He gazed into Harry's eyes. "Wait," he said quickly. "There's more." He paused. "I also needed to feel equally true love for the one who loved me."
Harry looked slightly confused as he pondered what Snape had said.
Snape saw this, then clarified. "I love you, Harry. I was just too scared to admit it."
Harry's eyes lit up as he saw the truth and love in the black eyes opposite him. He smiled, then wrapped his hands around the object of his desire. One hand went around his neck, the other around his shoulders. He lowered his lips onto Snape's and they kissed softly, lightly. Snape moved from his patch of floor and nestled between Harry's legs, facing him. Harry wrapped his own legs around Snape's waist. Their arms tightened around each other as the kiss deepened. Harry was pulled into Snape's lap as their mouths opened and tongues and hands started roving.
When they broke apart for air, Snape found some words. "Are you sure we want to do this here?" he gasped.
Harry grinned wryly, then started detangling himself from his love. "Yes, let's find someplace more comfortable," he agreed.
-----
Sirius and Dumbledore were in he dungeons, looking for any trace of where Snape may have gone, and thus where Harry would be. They were mulling outside his office when both Harry and Snape passed by, on the way to Snape's chambers, in a flurry of gropes, kisses, gasps, and groans. Sirius got ready to follow them and pound some sense into his errant godson when Dumbledore laid a hand on his shoulder. He smiled and shook his head. Sirius relaxed slightly as he heard rather than saw Harry shoved against the wall and ravished as Snape opened his chambers and they both staggered in. The door was quickly closed and locked.
-----
After a round of hard, slow, loving sex, Snape and Harry laid in the older man's bed in a tangle of limbs.
Dumbledore had managed to convince Sirius that this wasn't a bad thing.
McGonagall and Hooch were still romantics, although they were both out of the closet in that aspect.
And watching them all was an amused spirit, a crow, the same one from Snape's visions. The crow laughed softly to itself and flew off into the sky.
by La Chatte Noire
Rated: R, just to be safe
This is a sequel to Tara Tory's 'Hearts Desire.' If you haven't read it it can be found at the WTP archive, address
http://remembrall.slashcity.net/~telanu/plank/frames.htm
Follow the links, it's not hard.
Disclaimer: If I were making money here I would be able to aquire a better Rennisance Faire costume. Think about it. (note: the Rennisance Faire belongs to the St. Ives guild.)
Anyway, on with the show.
-----
Dawn rose on the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. In the hospital wing, Professor Severus Snape murmured as the gray light before dawn crept into his eyes. He turned over and fell back into sleep, settled in the warm embrace of a certain Harry Potter. As the sun rose, there was a voice on the edge of his thoughts, a voice that whispered something soft, indiscernible, lovely.
The first light of day crept slowly into the hallway. It saddened the group seated there as Professors Hooch and McGonagall, Sirius, and Dumbledore speculated on the fate of their fallen comrade. Dumbledore sat downcast, his eyes devoid of their usual twinkle. Hooch and McGonagall were uncharacteristically mournful and silent. Even Sirius was saddened by the loss of his beloved enemy. Not a one could see how their co-worker and, most grudgingly admitted, friend could have survived the Hearts Desire curse.
-----
Out in the corridor, day had fully arrived. Dumbledore sighed. "Well," he said, drawing teary looks from the others, "we may as well see if Harry managed to save him."
There were sighs and stifled sobs all around. Sirius snorted. "Nobody could get through to the stubborn old git," he mumbled to no one.
Dumbledore reached the door first and found it locked with a spell of moderate strength. He looked at it slightly confused, the opened it with an unlocking charm.
The troupe filed through the door slowly, expecting the worst and completely beyond hope.
There was a new gasp as each person saw what lay in the bed before them. Even the harshest of souls tried their hardest not to cry.
Before them was a vision of love and tenderness that was too sad to contemplate. Harry and Snape were lying together, naked, in each other's arms. Harry clutched at the older man like a child to a beloved stuffed bear. Snape's black hair was strewn about the pillow forming a black halo around him, reminiscent of the halo around the Messenger of Death. His lips were slack and his eyes half-open. He held onto the younger man loosely, as though death had sapped the strength from a tight lovers-embrace.
Dumbledore took pity on Harry and touched the boy's shoulder to wake him up. Harry murmured slightly and gripped Snape ever tighter. Half asleep, he wound a hand in the black, greasy hair and kissed the big nose in front of him.
It was the resultant sobs from McGonagall that brought him fully into the waking world. He opened his eyes.
Harry looked upon the face of the man whom he had claimed to love, and actually if he dared to admit it truly did love. He took a few labored breaths and then gripped the man's face. "No," he gasped. "No, please, Severus, wake up. Please wake up. Don't die on me, don't do this to me. No...no...No...NO!" Harry wailed his despair and wrapped his arms around the body in front of him. He buried his face into the older man's shoulder and cried.
While he cried, Dumbledore tapped those around him and motioned toward the door. The group slowly moved toward the door and out into the corridor beyond. As soon as they were outside, Dumbledore spoke softly, "Let's give him a few moments alone." The others only nodded.
Inside, Harry continued to sob miserably. Between incoherent babble, he told Snape his love and how it had come to him last night in an epiphany. He cried until he ran out of tears.
As soon as his sobs slowed from frantic sadness into stagnant misery, he noticed something he had been too loud to hear before.
-----
In the corridor, the staff dabbed at their eyes and tried to keep their calm. Dumbledore sadly called up a house elf, conjured a notice about the cancellation of classes for the day, and asked the elf to put it up in the Great Hall. Sirius sat down rather heavily in the first chair he found and attempted to process the fact that his godson had been in love with the slimy git. Professors McGonagall and Hooch, being closet romantics, hugged one another and cried onto each others shoulders. Dumbledore sighed and said in a breaking voice, "Might as well see if he's alright yet." He got up slowly, showing each year of his century-and-a-half lifetime, and trudged over to the door.
-----
Long after Harry had stopped sobbing, he felt a hand stroke his hair. He sat up slightly, gazing in disbelief at the face of his love. The open black eyes were shuttered as usual, the hair was greasier than it had ever been before, the nose was still huge, the mouth thin, the skin sallow, and the body still looked like it had fallen down a mountain, but to Harry it was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. Harry smiled happily, mouth open, then proceeded to thank any deity involved while smothering the man below him in wet, gleeful kisses.
Snape grabbed hold of Harry around the shoulders and hoisted him off of his chest. "I'm still alive, aren't I?" he asked, sounding almost disappointed.
"Oh, yes you're still alive, and it's a miracle!" exclaimed Harry, happier than he had ever been in his life.
Snape was thinking of a good or more accurately evilly bad reply when the door opened. In the doorway stood Dumbledore and three heads that happened to be peering over and around him. Each head wore a similar expression of disbelief, but each look was tempered by varying degrees of happiness. There was a sudden scramble of limbs as everyone tried to enter the room at once. Amid all the pushing and shoving, only Dumbledore was able to enter smoothly. He enveloped both naked men in a warm, fatherly hug.
By this time the rest of the onlookers had forced their way into the room. They gathered in a semicircle around the bed and seemed to collectively inhale as they prepared the question on all their minds. Snape anticipated it. "I have no idea what my heart's desire was," he stated loudly and firmly.
"But, you must know, Severus," said Dumbledore as he tried not to seem too pleased. "Otherwise it wouldn't have been fulfilled."
"Well apparently it was, and it wasn't what I had originally thought it was."
McGonagall jumped in. "And what does that mean?" she asked.
Harry answered before Snape could do so. "He thought his heart's desire was to die."
There were rounds of gasps and looks amid the spectators as Snape gave Harry the evil eye. "Yes, I did," Snape said venomously. "Too bad it wasn't."
Dumbledore spoke up, quite concerned about the mental well being of his friend. "But why, Severus?" he asked. "Why did you want to die so much?"
Snape shrugged. "It's going to happen sooner or later," he began, "and considering how the Dark Lord and his Death Eaters would take my survival of that blasted curse and the removal of my dark mark, it seemed easier for it to end sooner rather than later. Better here at Hogwarts, just drifting into sleep one morning and never waking up than in a Death Eater's circle by the Cruciatus Curse thrown by the wands of a dozen Death Eaters."
"That does have a certain wisdom to it," said Sirius thoughtfully. The other people in the room looked at him weirdly. "Well," he defended, "that's what I would choose, too."
"Anyway," said Dumbledore, "do you remember anything from around sunrise?"
"I remember turning over," said Snape thoughtfully. "The sun was about to shine in my eyes. I remember being held, and for once I didn't mind. I heard somebody say something, but I didn't hear it."
"Think, Severus, it might be important."
"I didn't understand what was said. It was whispered too softly. Hell, it was probably just Potter breathing in my ear."
"No," said Harry. "I did say something."
Dumbledore's eyes lit brighter. "What was it?"
Harry looked Snape straight in the eye. "It was the truth," he said firmly.
Snape looked suspicious. "What was it?"
Harry kept staring Snape in the eye and dropped his emotional walls, letting the truth come pouring out through his eyes. "I said that I love you."
Snape was taken aback by the sincerity in those eyes as he said it. He regained his control quickly, however, and gained an amount of anger. "So this is what brought me back to life?! A declaration of love from one whom I hate deeply? Do you know what that implies? I refuse to believe that my heart's desire was to see you, Mr. Potter, declaring love to me in front of my boss-" he pointed at each person as he named them off "-my house rival, my hated enemy, and a co-worker?" He got up out of the bed and, ignoring his lack of attire, continued. "You, Mr. Potter, are a sick individual to think you could have anything to do with me. I wish you had left me for death!" Snape promptly turned and stormed out of the room, grabbing his hospital gown from the chair beside the bed as he left.
Harry tried to bite back tears as the others turned to look at him. He failed. The tears began to fall. Harry curled up into a ball and sobbed. Sirius sat down on the bed beside him to comfort him. As soon as Sirius's hand touched his shoulder, Harry jumped from the bed, grabbed his robes off the chair, and ran from the room, tears streaming behind.
As Dumbledore watched the pair run off, he sighed. "That went well," he said in an uncharacteristically sarcastic way. He left to see if he couldn't patch a few things up.
-----
Snape was pacing holes in his sitting room carpet when Dumbledore knocked on the door. Snape growled as the door was opened. "I'm feeling just fine, Albus," he sneered. "I don't need you to check up on me and I have no idea as to why I'm still alive."
"I see," said Dumbledore, almost gravely. "However, I'm not here to check up on you. I'm here about Harry."
"I have no idea why he'd be in this conversation."
"Don't you? He declared love for you and miraculously you survived. What does that say to you?"
"It says that there are a few too many coincidences here for my tastes."
"It tells me that maybe you need some introspection. I order you to meditate."
"You can't order me to do that. I don't have a need to."
"Then I'm asking as a friend, please meditate." Dumbledore paused, then continued sagely. "There have been times in the past when you haven't seen the need but I have, and those times have been when you needed it the most. Please except my judgement this time. This one, last time."
Snape could never fault the wisdom of Dumbledore, and now was no exception. "Very well," he agreed. "Leave me be and I'll meditate."
Dumbledore smiled. "I'll warn the others not to disturb you. Good luck." And with that he left.
Snape watched as the door closed and scowled at it. He then proceeded to lock it and begin the search for his meditation tools.
-----
Harry wandered aimlessly through the corridors of school, eyes simultaneously daring any of the other students to even approach him and screaming a silent plea for help. The students who dove out of his path mainly sensed the former, but those who saw the latter thought twice about comforting him.
Harry ended up in front of the rooms that Sirius had been loaned for the duration of this ordeal. Not knowing the locking wards placed on the door, he slumped down just beside the door and began to sob anew.
Sirius approached. He was planning on making a pit stop in his chambers, then joining the search for Harry. He didn't need to search far.
"Harry," he began, but was unsure what to say next. He opted for what he felt was the truth. "The man's a slimy git, Harry. You deserve much better than that. Take this opportunity to find a nice witch and settle down."
Harry's head shot up in embarrassment at being found and anger that anyone would tell him to ignore his heart. "First of all, Sirius," Harry began, "I don't want to settle down with a nice witch. Second, Severus isn't slimy. Third, considering how many people I've killed, I don't deserve better than him. I don't even deserve him. And finally, I've listened to what everyone wants for me all my life. I've never done anything that I wanted to just for myself. I love him, and I want to be with him."
Sirius was taken aback by Harry's outburst. "You can't love him, Harry, he's old enough to be your father."
"'This is not about age / Time spent on the Earth doesn't mean you grow in mind,'" quoted Harry softly. (AN: Signs by Creed)
"What did you say?" asked Sirius suspiciously.
"I said age doesn't matter, and it shouldn't matter to you," spat Harry.
"There is no possible way you can be serious, Harry, the man is slimy, he's dark, he's evil, he's a dirty, rotten, lying son of a-"
Sirius' rant was cut off when Harry punched him square on the nose. "I will not have you insulting the man I love," shouted Harry.
Sirius held his bleeding, broken nose, staring incredulously at his insubordinate godson. Then he snapped. "You ungrateful little-"
Harry drew his wand and threw a major, and slightly illegal, curse at his godfather before the attack came. Sirius went flying backward through the air into the wall behind with a thud and a moan. Still brandishing the wand, he marched up and stood over his godfather. "If you won't accept my choices, then I sure as hell don't need you making them for me," he said menacingly. "If you ever come to your senses, then I might find it in my heart to forgive you. Until then, I bid thee adieu."
Harry left the battered yet completely conscious body of his godfather behind as he stalked off, out of the castle, in the direction of the only place he could think of to get peace enough to think: the Shrieking Shack.
-----
Snape sat on a pile of pillows in the middle of a closed room in the deepest dungeons of Hogwarts. A circle of quartz crystal points surrounded him. Incense of bat's blood and powdered Dragon's Blood Reed hung in the air. There were 4 figurines at the edge of the circle, one at each quarter, each representing one of the 4 elements of magic. He held a crystal ball tightly in his hands to focus his energies. His face showed complete serenity, yet his eyes were moving at a furious pace. He was deep in his prescribed meditation.
In his vision, he sat in a tree with a crow by his side, a judge of cosmic law and his personal Guide. The crow was speaking to him.
"I know why you're here," the crow said knowingly. "You seek to know why you still live."
"That I do, Judicator," said Snape.
"And you would not be satisfied with the simple answer that you will be needed in the physical realm to prevent it from falling into chaos, even though that is one of the reasons."
"To tell the truth, I dread that answer."
"You have been running from your fate these past few years, my child."
"I have? But I've been doing all I can to-"
The crow cut him off. "I don't just mean in terms of the Great War. You have other fates as well."
Snape looked confused. "What other fates might I have?" he asked.
The crow sighed. "You are not the only one who might tip the outcome of the War," explained the crow. "There is one other, one whose survival is crucial not only to win the War but to begin the Reconstruction."
Realization dawned on Snape. "Harry Potter."
The crow smiled. "Yes, Harry Potter."
"But Judicator, he's just a boy."
"You should know by now that the physical body does not match the age of the soul. All he needs is to win the War, start the Reconstruction, and know true love, then he will transcend the physical realm forever, if he so wishes."
Snape was surprised. "He is an old soul."
"That he is. Your fate is to help him, to be his true love. And before you voice revulsion, search your heart. Harry's true love will always be returned."
Snape was ready to leave his Guide's tree when a feeling hit him like a stone wall. It was love, and it was for the boy. "I can't. He hates me now for what I did to him."
"On the contrary, your love is quite a resilient spirit. You, as a teacher along his Path, should know that better than anyone."
Snape smiled wryly. "That's true. Once he forms an opinion it doesn't change unless there's a reason and my brush-off wasn't a good enough one."
"You're ready to go back now," the crow said, then spread its wings and leapt from the tree.
Snape's vision was fading when he thought of something, the reason why he was in meditation in the first place. "Wait!" he called. "What was my heart's desire?"
Just before Snape's vision ended, the crow called down "To be loved, and to love back!"
Snape snapped out of his vision with the usual disorientation. It all made sense now. He got up, cleared the Circle, put away his figurines and exited the room as fast as he could eloquently manage.
-----
Snape ran up the corridors, searching for someone, anyone, who might know where Harry was. He ran into Dumbledore first.
"Why hello, Severus," greeted Dumbledore as he was cornered by a very out of breath Snape. "Did you do what we talked about?"
Snape, still gasping, could only nod. I'm too old for this, he thought.
"Well, you've never been quite this excited to talk about a vision before," smiled the older wizard. "I take it you learned something of great importance."
"Where's Harry?" panted Snape. He regained his composure as he felt a student's eyes stare oddly from behind. Snape looked back and glared. While still looking back, watching the student scurry away, he elaborated, "I need to talk to him about something."
"I haven't seen him since he left the hospital wing," said Dumbledore curiously. "You might ask Sirius, he is after all, the boy's godfather."
Snape groaned inwardly. "Last resort," he promised Dumbledore. "I'll go to him as a last resort."
Professor McGonagall hurried up. "Albus, Harry's put his godfather in the hospital wing."
Dumbledore looked at Snape. "Are you sure you don't want to make that 'First Resort?'" Snape scowled at the thought. McGonagall looked confused. Dumbledore sighed inwardly. "Let's see how he's doing, shall we?" intoned Dumbledore.
-----
Sirius was sitting on one of the beds getting his nose repaired when the three of them entered. He rolled his eyes and started a rant when Snape came into view. "First Harry sleeps with you, you greasy bastard, then he decks be for you, then curses be also for you I bight add, then he runs off to God dows where, now you're here to gloat about it I presume?" Sirius's nose was still swollen, so he sounded a tad off.
Snape glared. "I am not here to gloat you idiot," he sneered. "I'm wondering where Harry ran off to." He paused. "Wait, he cursed you?"
Madam Pomfrey answered as she worked. "It was a watered down version of the Cruciatus, short, strong."
Dumbledore continued that line of speech, "And newly discovered so it's only slightly illegal. The Ministry isn't able to give any sort of punishment for it except a warning and a slap on the wrist for repeated offenders. It's become quite the rage among the Death Eater circles. I've taken to teaching our fighters it as well."
Snape became irritated as the conversation in the room turned toward the illegal curse. "Does anyone know where Harry went?" he called out.
"NO!" Sirius yelled back then swore as his nose started bleeding again.
Snape growled at the uncooperative animagus, then stalked out of the hospital wing. He thought about places the boy might go, places where he wouldn't be disturbed but would be too obvious for any of his friends to figure out. He grinned as he came up with an idea, ludicrous though it was. He hurried out to the school grounds to talk to Hagrid.
-----
Harry sat sobbing in the Shrieking Shack, wondering why the only thing he had every wanted for himself was out of his reach. He didn't notice that he wasn't alone until the person was leaning down to sit next to him.
-----
Snape was lifted into a great bear hug the moment Hagrid opened his door. "Yer alive, yer alive yeh big nosed git, they said yeh wouldn' be livin' through the night, and here y'are," Hagrid sobbed happily into Snape's chest because his shoulder was too thin to support the half-Giant's tears of joy.
Snape didn't even try to struggle free, he knew better. He waited patiently while Hagrid cried and whooped and in general showed the world his happiness.
When Hagrid regained most of his composure, Snape cut to the heart of the matter. "I'm looking for Harry," he said solemnly.
"Oh, he wen' off to the Shriekin' Shack. Looked mighty upset if yeh ask me," Hagrid answered. "Why yeh lookin'?"
Snape looked as sheepish as he could while still looking like himself. "I caused it," he admitted. "I said some things I shouldn't have and now he's run off."
Hagrid didn't approve, but he felt that trying to make amends was noble, and he told Snape just that.
"Thank you, now if you'll excuse me, I have a wayward Potter to catch," he said as he got up. He left Hagrid in silence as the man tried to process the fact that Snape had just been polite and had made half a joke. Maybe, he thought, that brush with death did him some good.
-----
Snape raced down the passageway to the Shrieking Shack. The last two times he had done so, he had unwittingly walked into a trap. He hoped that that wasn't the case this time.
When he reached the end, he followed the soft sounds of sobbing to their source, the keeper of the oldest soul he has met. Harry Potter.
Snape slid down the wall the boy was leaning against to sit next to him. Harry looked up. "Why?" he asked softly, "Why did you drive me away?"
"I didn't know what I know now," Snape said softly, unable to meet the younger man's eyes.
"And what do you know now?"
"I know my Heart's Desire. I was to be loved, truly loved."
"So I just happened to be there for you?" Harry scoffed as he said this. "Well, you're alive now, so now you can let me alone."
Snape grabbed Harry's arm as he had started moving away. He gazed into Harry's eyes. "Wait," he said quickly. "There's more." He paused. "I also needed to feel equally true love for the one who loved me."
Harry looked slightly confused as he pondered what Snape had said.
Snape saw this, then clarified. "I love you, Harry. I was just too scared to admit it."
Harry's eyes lit up as he saw the truth and love in the black eyes opposite him. He smiled, then wrapped his hands around the object of his desire. One hand went around his neck, the other around his shoulders. He lowered his lips onto Snape's and they kissed softly, lightly. Snape moved from his patch of floor and nestled between Harry's legs, facing him. Harry wrapped his own legs around Snape's waist. Their arms tightened around each other as the kiss deepened. Harry was pulled into Snape's lap as their mouths opened and tongues and hands started roving.
When they broke apart for air, Snape found some words. "Are you sure we want to do this here?" he gasped.
Harry grinned wryly, then started detangling himself from his love. "Yes, let's find someplace more comfortable," he agreed.
-----
Sirius and Dumbledore were in he dungeons, looking for any trace of where Snape may have gone, and thus where Harry would be. They were mulling outside his office when both Harry and Snape passed by, on the way to Snape's chambers, in a flurry of gropes, kisses, gasps, and groans. Sirius got ready to follow them and pound some sense into his errant godson when Dumbledore laid a hand on his shoulder. He smiled and shook his head. Sirius relaxed slightly as he heard rather than saw Harry shoved against the wall and ravished as Snape opened his chambers and they both staggered in. The door was quickly closed and locked.
-----
After a round of hard, slow, loving sex, Snape and Harry laid in the older man's bed in a tangle of limbs.
Dumbledore had managed to convince Sirius that this wasn't a bad thing.
McGonagall and Hooch were still romantics, although they were both out of the closet in that aspect.
And watching them all was an amused spirit, a crow, the same one from Snape's visions. The crow laughed softly to itself and flew off into the sky.