A/N: Since I spent the last hour looking at sad Harry Potter tumblr posts, I felt like putting a little two-shot up.
I have it all planned out, and there will be a lot of angst, so I'm warning you now.
Summary:
"This was never supposed to happen. They would all hate him now. As the rough hands seized his shuddering body and dragged him away, Sirius Black could not find the strength in him to fight back." A two-shot centering around the events after and during Halloween Night, 1981. Bonus chapter: Sirius reunites with James and Lily after death.
Pairings: Jily (Romantic), JamesxSirius (Bromance), SiriusxHarry (Godfather/Godson)
Rated: T for slight language and small depictions of violence. One tiny mention of child abuse, but very fleeting.
Disclaimer: Only in a world where Troye Sivan isn't an adorable, precious gem would I own Harry Potter.
"Life asked death,
'Why do people love me but hate you?'
death responded,
"Because you are a beautiful lie and I am a painful truth.'"
-Unknown
Sirius Black remembered a time when things had been happy. When his greatest fears were whether he would get good enough marks on his O. to not get a beating from his father, or whether Marlene McKinnon would say yes or not when he asked her out to Hogsmeade.
But that all had passed, and his family had disowned him, and Marlene had said yes, but she died at the hands of the Death Eaters mere weeks ago. He had new fears now, and they were tearing him apart from the inside. As he sat in his sitting room, a dreadful silence encircling him, he wanted nothing more than for one of his friends to make an entrance, and tear him from his brooding. He wanted to know he wasn't alone.
Everything had changed when they joined the Order. Sirius and his best friend, James with his wife Lily were sent out onto constant missions, each time leaving with a single unanimous thought, What will they say if I don't make it back? It was a terrifying thought, but none of them could deny the potential risk their positions put them under. It was the reason that James and Lily would kiss for a full minute and whisper their love for each other beforehand.
Then Lily found out she was pregnant with a baby boy. The announcement brought both cheer and sorrow to the Order. On one hand, a baby wasn't called a "bundle of joy" for nothing, but on the other, did they really want a baby to born into this dark time?
Lily stopped going on missions, and tried to convince James to do the same, but he didn't stop until December of that year. Dumbledore had come to them, telling them of a prophecy Sybil Trelawny had spoken. It was supposed to be about their son, that or Neville, the son of Sirius' friends Alice and Frank. The Potter went into hiding, and Sirius was trusted with being their Secret Keeper.
While he thought the Fidelius Charm was a brilliant idea, he didn't feel it right that he was the one that held such important information. Sirius was too obviously the one, and so he proposed the idea of switching Secret Keepers to James and Lily, and they agreed.
And now, here he was. In his house, alone, a few weeks after the switch. In that short amount of time, they had already lost Fabian and Gideon Prewett, and Marlene. Sirius wasn't sure if he could take much more of this, and that's what kept him up from sleeping.
However, something about this particular night was especially eating at him. It didn't feel right. Something had to be wrong, he knew it. But, what would be it? James and Lily were in hiding, and the secret of their location was now being guarded by Peter Pettigrew. No one else knew their whereabouts, certainly not anyone who would tell Lord Moldyshorts.
Despite the numerous times Sirius told himself this that night, he could not shake his suspicion for the life of him. Knowing he would go crazy with anxiety if he just sat there, he stood and all but ran out the door.
He would go to check on Peter, to see if he was alright. If Peter was safe, Lily, James, and their newborn Harry would have to be, too.
Sirius Apparated near Peter's safe house. A sigh of relief escaped his lips and he spied the house in one piece, but that relief quickly turned to terror as he neared the door. It was already open, leaving a clear way into the house. Sirius ran a hand through his hair nervously.
So, he thought, Either Pete went for a nighttime stroll around the neighborhood and forgot to close the door, or he's in trouble. Sirius knew it had to be the latter. Peter knows he wasn't supposed to leave the house. Technically, Sirius wasn't supposed to either, but he needed to know if his friends were alright, and just judging from this, they weren't. He ran inside, his wand drawn from his pocket. His Auror instincts kicked in, and he glanced around at the peaceful abode. Sirius looked throughout the house, but spied nothing out of the ordinary.
It was... weird. Nothing seemed wrong. Everything was in place, exactly how it should be. There were no burn marks on the walls, no overturned or damaged furniture, no blood, no nothing. Peter was probably not kidnapped then, there was no sign of a struggle. It was like he just got up and left. But, why would he do that, unless...
Oh, no...
As fast as his legs would carry him, Sirius sprinted out of the house and down the street.
How could he not see it before? Peter had been acting so weird ever since James and Lily first went into hiding. He was always jittery, quick to place blame on the others, and super defensive of any suspicious activity of his own. Not to mention the fact that he seemed to throw grief-stricken glances James and Lily's ways a lot. Sirius cursed. That little rat! That little bastard sold them out, didn't he? Peter always cared about his own skin over anyone else's, of course he would give in to Voldemort.
Nearly ramming into a pedestrian, Sirius didn't even stop to apologize. All he cared about was James and Lily and Harry and getting to them on time. If they died, it would be all his fault.
Crack
Sirius stumbled a bit with his landing, but he ignored it. His focus was only on the house that lay in shambles at the end of the street.
His brain was running on overdrive. No, no no... James, Lily, Harry... no.
Sirius skidded to a stop as he reached the house. Terrified of the horrors that might greet him should he walk through the broken door, he took a deep breath and started forward. The sight that met him caused bile to rise in his throat, but he swallowed it down.
No, no, NO! The wizard dropped to his knees beside the fallen form of his best friend, his brother. James' eyes were open and glassy, glazed over and staring into nothing. His mouth was open a miniscule amount, his glasses askew, and his body sprawled out and twisted on the cold, hard floor. On his face was a shocked expression that Sirius immediately recognized. He'd seen it on far too many victims of the Killing Curse. Clutching at James' body, Sirius let the dam break. Tears cascaded in rivers down his cheeks as he sobbed into the body of his fellow Marauder.
WHY? I should've realized that Peter was the traitor! The little bastard transformed into a bloody rat! This is all my fault, if only I hadn't suggested the switch. James would be alive.
Sirius swallowed down a huge jump in his throat as he realized. Oh Merlin, Lily and Harry. If James was dead, then what happened to them? His heart sank once he registered that his brother's wife and child probably lay in a similar state as him. He didn't want to go to see them as well, but he forced himself to stand.
Climbing the stairs, Sirius felt his heart break with every step he took, every piece of rubble he spied, every broken piece of furniture. He rounded a corner, and choked on his own cries.
Lily, sweet Lily. The dog animagus could just spot her fiery red hair beyond the open nursery door. He was just about to scream in anguish when he heard a cry.
Wait, a cry? But, where was it coming from? It sounded like a child's, but unless he was a ghost, Harry couldn't possibly have made that sound. Or, he was alive! The mere thought of his godson not laying lifeless like his parents quickened Sirius' pace as he almost sprinted towards the nursery.
He scrambled back at the form on the ground, and a whimper tore from his throat. He would cry, but Sirius had limited tears at this point. Turning to the baby in the crib, who Sirius was correct in assuming was the source of the cries, he kneeled in front of the scared little child.
"Pa'foo," Harry mumbled, his tiny hands trying to grab at Sirius through the bars of the crib. His face, too, had tears streaked down them. Sirius shushed his young godson shakily, stroking the tiny tufts of jet black hair.
"Shhhhh, it's ok. It'll all be okay, Harry," Sirius himself didn't quite believe it, but Harry needed to. As he brushed the bangs out of his eyes, he gasped.
A cut, curse scar no doubt it, ran on the left side of his forehead, shaped like a lightning bolt. A bubble of rage replaced the grief and misery in Sirius' mind.
Voldemort, that bloody monster! When I get to him I'm going to end him! And Peter too!
His hands shaking, he picked up a nearby emtpy glass and chucked it at the only wall still standing. Sirius felt momentary satisfaction, imagining Peter's skull in the place of the glass, but it quickly turned to immense guilt with the wails of his frantic godson.
"Sirius, what're ye doing?" (I can never write Hagrid because I am never sure how to write the way he talks! Help please!) Sirius jumped at the voice behind him. He whipped around, his wand being drawn from his pocket as he did so, only to fix upon...
"Hagrid?" he whispered brokenly. Sirius looked up into the soft, grief-filled, eyes. "Why are you here?"
"Dumbledore asked me to come," Hagrid replied, walking towards Harry, who still wailed. Sirius reached out to halt him.
"Wait!" He tried to shoo the half-giant's huge hands away, but Hagrid still picked up the baby.
"Hagrid, hold on. Give Harry to me, Hagrid. I'm his godfather, I'll take care of him," Sirius tried to reason with the Hogwarts gamekeeper. He already lost both James and Lily, and Peter was now a traitor, he couldn't lose Harry as well!
Hagrid just shook his head. "Can't, Sirius," he said, eyes turning sympathetic. "Dumbledore's orders."
Sirius' head dropped with his heart. Dumbledore's orders. Of course it was because of Albus. If the headmaster commanded something, there was no way to stop it. He felt a strong hand hit his shoulder, and heard Hagrid's soothing voice. "There, there, Sirius. It will be alright."
Despite Hagrid's best efforts, Sirius didn't believe him. Hell, he didn't even think Hagrid believed himself. Nothing could ever be okay, not after this.
"Harry is going to a place where he will be protected. Where no Death Eaters can hurt him." Just as Hagrid started to walk out the door, Sirius spoke up again.
"Take my bike."
Hagrid stopped and looked at the wizard, a puzzled look dominating his features. "What?"
"Take my enchanted motorcycle. I accidentally left it here a couple of weeks ago. Take it and get Harry to safety. It's in the back, in the shed." (1)
"Are- are you sure, Sirius?" Everyone in the Order knew how precious Sirius' bike was to him. It was his pride and joy. For him to just give it up like that...
Sirius just numbly nodded. "I won't be needing it," he said. It was true. He was going after Peter. He was going to get his revenge. That little two-faced git was going to regret ever sitting on the train with them, Sirius would make sure of that.
Hagrid hesitated, but then nodded back at him and left.
Blind rage fueled Sirius as he prowled through the streets, searching for the traitor.
Seeing nothing but red, he spotted the rat scurrying among the various shoppers. Peter was looking around anxiously, as if expecting Sirius.
"Peter!" Sirius let himself have a bit of satisfaction as Peter's face paled.
"S-Sirius!" the traitor squeaked.
"You! You little-" Sirius growled, but was interrupted.
"I know what you did, Sirius Black!" Peter all but yelled. By this time, a small crowd had gathered around to watch the feud.
"What are you talking about, you bloody prat! It was you who-"
"You betrayed them!" Peter was screaming by now. "You betrayed Lily and James! They were our friends, Sirius! How could you? You sold them out to him and let him murder them!"
Screams then began to raise from the crowd as Muggles back away from him. Sirius let out an inhumane snarl, which only received more terror. "WHY YOU-"
He had started towards Peter, hand going towards his wand. Screw the Statute of Secrecy! This was far more important. Too late, he saw Peter's hand mimic his, and watched in horror as Peter muttered a curse.
An explosion rocked the street. Sirius skidded on the ground as the blast threw him back. Yells of agony and even more screaming split the air.
Blinking, Sirius opened his eyes to see a familiar rodent scuttering towards the sewer through the smoke. He looked around and spotted twelve more dead corpses littering the street. To the bystanders' surprises, he didn't try to run away or try to hurt them.
He started laughing. Maniacal laughter. Creepy cackled that sent shivers down the spines of anyone nearby. He couldn't believe it! Peter, that little, stupid boy Sirius and the other two spent so much time trying to help, had outsmarted him. It was incredulous! This was perfect, he lost everything, and once again he was at fault.
Lily and James hated him. He caused their deaths. Harry would hate him. He was the reason he would grow up without his parents. Remus hated him. The werewolf was still convinced he was the Secret Keeper. No doubt he would tell everyone. The world would hate him. Sirius had no way to prove his innocence, not without Peter.
So, Sirius laughed and he laughed. He kept laughing even as he heard rushed footsteps coming in his direction. Aurors, he knew it. Here to take him away. But, he still laughed.
This was never supposed to happen. They would all hate him now. As the rough hands seized his shuddering body and dragged him away, Sirius Black could not find the strength in him to fight back.
James, Lily. My fault. I killed them. Harry. Gone. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
"Don't wait until it's too late
to tell someone how much you love,
how much you care.
Because when they're gone,
no matter how loud you shout and cry
they won't hear you anymore."
-Unknown
A/N: Whew! Sorry, it was rushed and short. But, Sirius is amazing, so I had to make this.
(1)- I debated about this, but I thought hard. I realized that if Sirius was in a hurry, which he probably was, he wouldn't take his bike. He would most likely just Apparate. So, I tried to find a logical excuse as to why he would have his bike for Hagrid to take, so I just came up with this. I don't know, that's just my take.
Please review, and I will get the next chapter out as soon as possible. No flames though, 'cause I hate flames.
Adios, mis amigos!
-Hogwarts914