At seventeen, I always felt like a stranger. When Nissa even started to become distant from us, I felt like I was losing hope. Today had to have been one of the darkest days that ever happened, and it was all my fault…
Christopher took a deep breath as he looked in the bathroom mirror. He looked a lot better than he usually did, he smiled at his reflection and slicked his hair back.
"You look great, I just know Christine will love you."
He saw Nicholas' reflection behind him and turned around, his face a little flushed, "Umm, thanks…"
He chuckled and walked over, brushing some hair off of his twin's forehead, "I mean it."
Christopher sighed and looked down, "I really hope so, I mean, she's so gorgeous."
"Yeah, I suppose she is," Nicholas sighed, almost wistfully, then kissed his brother's cheek, "Well, good luck then."
He strode out of the bathroom, tying his hair back in a loose ponytail. Christopher went back to the mirror, his cheek still tingling a little bit, he smiled at the warm sensation, the only comfort he'd been feeling for the last few days.
Nissa hasn't come back yet, I note as I take my shirt off for bed. I lay back and close my eyes, I missed the days when things were normal. When I didn't always worry that Nissa wasn't coming home. When Nicholas was the only one who I trusted more than I trusted myself. When my father was around. I took in a deep sigh at that thought, I hated that Nissa was in such pain after that.
She never stopped hurting for that, she kept believing that it was her fault. It wasn't her fault. It wasn't. Kaleo was just a heartless monster. I clenched my fists and turned over, he was the one who tore apart the final link that made my life normal. That bastard took away Nissa's humanity and hurt her so goddamn much.
Somehow, I feel the same way right now as well. It's because of me that Nicholas is gone. If I just accepted things more gracefully, if I didn't bother with that girl…
"Nicholas or Christopher?"
Christine tossed her hair over her shoulder and smiled ruthlessly. Her eyes were cold and critical as they passed between us. I had my best smile on, hoping that she would choose me to dance with.
"Nicholas."
That single word that I had heard and said more than a thousand times in my life, that normally gave me comfort, caused a cold, hard stab of pain in my chest. I peered over at my twin, whom I expected to be smiling a mile wide, but instead, he looked not only neutral, but a little disgusted.
"Why didn't you choose Christopher?" He asked insolently, "I mean, we are twins."
She smirked in his direction, "Because despite the fact you're both trash, at least you don't always have your head in the clouds and pretend you can have a better life than what you have now."
The previous shock and ice in my veins had now tripled in that instant, causing me to shake and try to step back, but I was planted in that same place. Nicholas' eyes were dark in a way that I had never seen before. He clenched his fists and calmly asked, "Really now? And I suppose your wealth is supposed to make you such a better person?"
She walked towards him and pushed me out of the way, completely ignoring his question, "Do you want to dance with me or not?"
The second I hit the ground, he pounced on her, straddling her and punching her face. The whole time, he was shouting obscenities at her, making her pay for anything wrong she said, did or thought against me. People stopped and stared, her father running through the crowd and grabbing Nicholas' wrist and trying to pull him up.
Nicholas pushed him away with a strength I didn't know he had and picked up the immaculate rose he had presented her with earlier that day, "So you like red roses, huh?"
He shoved the bulb in her mouth, stood up and stomped on her chest, right over her heart. She coughed and gasped for breath in vain and suddenly stopped breathing. When her head fell to the side, the bud that fell out was coated in blood.
…Nicholas wouldn't have been taken in to be hung. Though it was almost three days ago, I still remember the glazed look in her open, dead eyes. They were facing me, and her expression was of shock and pain. I shivered and curled into a ball, grabbing my knees. Why did this have to happen to Nicholas?
I walked over to the window, glaring up at the full moon, mocking and white. Suddenly, all the Christian beliefs that had been drilled into me for so long made no sense. Loving your neighbor and that all men were equal were both lies, lies, filth and a deceitful waste.
"What should I believe?!" I screamed out into the night, shaking with rage.
"For a start, you could believe in the devil…"
I looked down and saw Nicholas' eyes, not the icy, but warm light blue I was accustomed to, but a haunting, intense black.