Title: Him

Summary: After the war ends and Gin dies by Aizen's hands, Rangiku cannot seem to move on. He's there, every evening in her nightmares, haunting her. Post-Aizen/Pre-Fullbring, GinRan

Rating: T

A/Ns: Hope you readers like this one! I started working on a small idea in school, and then bam! It ended up being a fanfiction. Reviews are appreciated!

Gin's quotes come from Tite Kubo! I don't own Bleach, if I did, Gin wouldn't be dead!

"Now I lay me down to sleep,
Pray the lord my soul to keep
And if I die before I wake,
Pray the lord my soul to take."

-Enter Sandman, Metallica

Nightmares plagued Rangiku's mind every night since the incident. Every day, during the black void of midnight, she relived that moment in her dreams, seeing Aizen, seeing him, seeing herself remain utterly useless and unable to stop those inescapable, fated events. During those dark hours, Rangiku found herself cemented to a world of tears and blood, fear and pain; she could not move, could not breathe, could not escape, could not do a damned thing except watch history unfold itself for the umpteenth time - and she hated it.

She would wake up often, drenched in sweat and chilled to the bone, still shaken by her visions. Everything she viewed during those short, frequent periods of horrid torment, was so vivid - his blood spurting from the puncture wounds caused by Kyoka Suigetsu, painting the rubble of the fake Karakura town red, and the sickening snap of his flesh and bone being ripped apart haphazardly as his right arm was torn from his shoulder. The grotesque picture occupied her mind constantly, inside and outside of the dream realm, dragging her down to her own personal hell.

If at any time she ever dared to remember him, his face, or his mind, she knew that he knew he had no chance at succeeding to take the Hogyoku - that disturbed, small bluish-purple orb of an evil power - and no chance at defeating Aizen.

So why did he have to leave me, why could he not wait mere moments for Kurosaki Ichigo to come and save the day like he always does? I… I could have done something… If I had only been quicker, if I had only realized sooner, if only I had created a distraction, if only I had drawn Haineko on Aizen… Maybe he would still be alive…

The 'if-onlys' danced in her mind, taunting her, haunting her, every day after the awakening from her unwanted flashbacks, plaguing her and destroying her heart and mind. There had been one point the large-bosomed Assistant Captain had tried to move on, but Rangiku failed horribly. He had left her nothing, nothing to remember him by, nothing to cherish his memory with. It made her wonder, if he even held the same feelings for her that she held for him. Confused, she pondered and acquired no solution, the argument being: he always left, but always came back; also, if he hadn't cared for her, then why did he save her when the two were children?

"I've decided. I'm going to become a Shinigami... Become a Shinigami and change things, so that they'll end...without you having to cry."

"Ran-chan!"

"It would have been nice if my capture lasted a little longer. Farewell, Rangiku. I'm Sorry…"

She loved him, she loved him dearly. Now, she had lost him again - this time, forever. Soul Society was too quiet, too eerie, and too unimportant to her anymore; even though the quarters blossomed with life and festive activities, Rangiku couldn't seem to get on with her life. Her daily escapades were of poor quality by her old standards, all work and no fun. The Assistant Captain had given up sake and drinking all together, her zest replaced by a flat dullness that worried those close to her. Their concerns went unnoticed to her; all she could manage under the shadow of her nightmares were thoughts of him.

Had Rangiku only known what he had been thinking of, she would have known that everything he did, every thought he processed, every action he took, all had been for her.

"If you were to turn into a snake tomorrow and begin devouring humans, and from the same mouth you started devouring humans, you cried out to me 'I love you,' would I still be able to say 'I love you' the same way I do today?"

In a perfect world, Gin may have survived, or Rangiku may have realized that dwelling on the past could not fix the wrong that had been done, but, unfortunately, not all fairy tales of romance and drama have a happy ending.

Because he was for her,

Because she was for him,

The imperfect world spilled its venom upon them,

And the two gained nothing but pain and suffering.

Start Date: 04.02.2013

Finish Date: 04.04.2013

Thank you for reading.