Being Nathan, a Heroes fanfiction
Gabriel missed more than one thing about being Nathan. Nathan had had so many of the things Gabriel had always been denied: a place in the world (a home), a purpose (a raison d'etre), and security (a family). People looked up to Nathan, admired him, whether he deserved it or not; no one had admired Gabriel. Nathan knew who he was. Gabriel wasn't even Gabriel all of the time.
But what Gabriel missed most about being Nathan was being loved (and loving back).
It was no secret, even to Gabriel-as-Nathan, that Nathan was an indifferent father at best. He was never home, and when he was, he rarely had time to spare for his sons. Gabriel, when he was Nathan, had changed that. As Gabriel became more Gabriel and less Nathan, he began to spend more time with them, clearing Nathan's schedule on a whim for picnics and afternoon games of catch.
In those hours (so few), both Gabriel (Nathan) and Nathan (Gabriel) came to know them, really know them, for the first time. Simon, they learned, was athletically inclined and afraid of the dark. He was also allergic to strawberries (How could he have forgotten? Had he ever known?). Monty was book-smart and wise beyond his years—which is to say he was already curious about girls.
Both loved their father (Nathan) unconditionally. It was for this reason that Gabriel could not help but envy Nathan, and pity him at the same time. It was Nathan who was the object of their adoration, but Gabriel-as-Nathan who loved them back.
Gabriel missed that most of all.
Disclaimer: Not mine, sad to say.
Author's Note: So... yeah. This is part character study, part experiment, and part fill-in-the-blanks. I was musing on little-mentioned characters/relationships that must exist but are rarely (if ever) addressed on the show, and this is one of the results. Somehow I am completely captivated with the notion of Sylar as a father figure. It's just too adorable for words! It is unlikely that this drabble will be the only such piece dealing with this concept. After all, he's been a father (in one way or another) to no less than four characters on the show. So many possibilities!
This would probably take place sometime while Sylar/Gabriel is at the carnival. I call him Gabriel here because he isn't Sylar without his memories (which is, after all, an alias and would have limited significance to an amnesiac) and he knows he is not Nathan. I'm not usually one to differentiate between Sylar and Gabriel because while they are different aspects of a fractured personality, they are still ultimately parts of the same person. This is not to undermine the significance of name choice, identity crisis, etc. that we have seen plague the character on the show; on the contrary. I find him to be a delightfully complex character (and incidentally sexy as hell) with the major differences between "Sylar" and "Gabriel" being the manner in which he expresses and reacts to emotion, motivation, conflict, and insecurities. The names are a convenient means of identifying these differences. But I'm not going to act as though they are entirely independent individuals. Somehow this author's note has become as long as the fic itself. Whoops! Okay, rant over. :)
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