Title: Five times an enemy was confused by Destiny
Author: Shenandoah Risu
Rating: PG-13
Content Flags: confusion
Characters: The Nakai
Word Count: 772
Excerpt: The five main reasons to end our mission are as follows: ...
Author's Notes: Written for prompt set #156 the LJ Comm sg1_five_things.
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Five times an enemy was confused by Destiny
Fellow Nakai,
The Supreme Command has decided to terminate the hunt for the Great Ship bound for the edges of the known universe. We have been recalled by the highest authority due to unacceptable losses. Errors have crept into our judgment and strategies, and as you are well aware, confusion breeds confusion.
The five main reasons to end our mission are as follows.
1. Subject #1. When the subject activated the emergency beacon of one of our crashed scout ships we expected survivors of our own kind, not some disgustingly smelly and hairy refugee from the Great Ship. Despite our protests we were ordered to take him in and learn what we could from him, which was close to nothing. The subject was fluent in two entirely different modes of speaking, only one of which our linguists were able to decrypt. His other mode was more or less gibberish which led us to believe that as a research subject he was useless. It was decided an implanted beacon would be more appropriate. More confusion erupted when the device was forcefully removed from his body which was supposed to be impossible.
2. Subject #2. Very few of you witnessed the invasion of Subject #2, as he infiltrated our ranks in the guise of alien artifact technician Kyrrtik. While some of us were confused about Kyrrtik's unusually stoic behavior nobody suspected an invasion by a leading individual who kept his composure even under those trying circumstances. Kyrrtik himself admitted to tremendous panic attacks during each exchange, where the denizens of the Great Ship restrained him. It is a major embarrassment for our kind that nobody suspected an alien entity on board. The Great Ship's leadership is far more disciplined than all of us, and if this is any indication for their military forces, we are fighting a losing battle indeed.
3. Subject #3. The young female, only slightly less smelly and hairy than Subject #1, that our drones captured and brought onboard was also deemed entirely useless as a provider of information. She made no sense whatsoever and was obviously completely without knowledge about the Great Ship's mission or functionality. Why the Great Ship's denizens would include individuals such as her among them has once again confused our researchers who have yet to come up with a logical explanation. When she was returned to us her implanted Nakai conversion matrix confirmed that while she absorbed some abstract skills from the matrix the only thing she gleaned for us was incomprehensible data about so-called parties, boyfriends and highly disturbing penetrative physical contact with another member of their species.
4. While we have great experience with intelligent life in this quadrant of space we have never encountered a truly malicious life form such as the one that currently inhabits the Great Ship. It is our belief that they are not the owners or creators of the Great Ship but merely a set of castaways or refugees who have made their home there. Never have we fought an intelligence that was not merely defensive, such as the builders of the Great Ship, but actively aggressive in shooting at and destroying a large number of our fighter craft. What is even more confusing is how quickly they learned to shoot and kill. A supreme intelligence is out of the question, as evidenced by Subject #3, which leads us to believe that pure malice is at the core of their intentions.
5. Finally, it was decided to end the pursuit when they jumped into Fourthspace after which they could no longer be located. It is believed that they have launched to another galaxy, and with our greatly diminished and now increasingly confused numbers we no longer have the resources to continue our hunt. Their final message is assumed to be an unmitigated threat – our linguists are still trying to decipher the subtleties within the repeated words. We have recordings of it, but be warned: the message is believed to be dangerous, eliciting confusion that might destroy your logical way of thinking. Thus, the message should only be repeated by us and not listened to in the original broadcast as it may actually be designed to ultimately destroy our kind. The message reads "Nyah nyah". Please treat it with extreme caution.
Please report all individuals who appear confused after our unfortunate contacts with this dangerous alien race to the proper authorities. Every effort will be made to rehabilitate those who were deeply scarred by their experience.
Thank you for your attention. You may now return to your posts.
The Nakai Command Staff
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Thanks for reading! A comment or feedback would be much appreciated. :)
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