Bucky sat alone at the table in the kitchen. After he realized who he was, he searched for Steve. He didn't have to search too hard, though. Steve was looking for him, too. When they finally found each other, Bucky was speechless. There were so many things he wanted to ask the blond soldier, but he just couldn't find the words to say.
That had been a few months ago. Steve offered Bucky a place to stay, but Bucky refused at first. Though, after some convincing on Steve's part, he had accepted. He didn't have anywhere else to go. Hydra was scattered, SHIELD was gone, and everyone he 'knew' he assumed was dead.
Except for Steve.
"Morning Bucky." Steve said as he came into the kitchen. Bucky looked up at him and smiled briefly. He stared at Steve as he moved about the kitchen, getting coffee and making himself something to eat. The atmosphere wasn't tense, per se, but it wasn't completely comfortable either.
"Want some coffee? Or something to eat?" Steve asked over his shoulder. Bucky silently took out his knife and set it on the table. He turned it so the handle would be easy to grab for Steve, the blade aimed directly at the brown haired man.
He needed to be safe. He needed protection. He needed to be armed.
"Buck? Do you want - " Steve turned around and stopped mid-sentence. His eyes fixated on the blade on the table and then darted to Bucky. A sigh escaped his lips. "Bucky, please put it away." He said, moving to sit down across from him.
"You're unarmed." Bucky replied simply. "You need to be armed." His emotionless blue eyes moved from Steve, to the knife, and back again.
"I don't need to be armed, Bucky!" Steve exclaimed, but didn't raise his voice. He wasn't angry by any means. He was just frustrated and confused. Bucky stared silently at him. "Why do you do this? Every time I come into the room you give me a gun. Or a knife." He asked. The blond pushed the blade away, giving it back to Bucky.
"No." Bucky said, quickly moving his metal hand to hold the blade in place. The metal on metal clang made Steve jump slightly. "No, Steve." He insisted that he keep the knife.
"Bucky? What the hell?" Steve asked, taking his hand away from the weapon. "I don't want it! I don't NEED it!" He threw up his hands and slapped them down on the table as he stood up from his chair. Bucky stared at him through his strands of brown hair. "Bucky, why do you do this? I don't understand!" Steve sighed and shook his head. "Please talk to me." He said, sitting back down across from his friend.
"You need to be armed when I'm around." Bucky replied softly. His face and voice held no emotion whatsoever. Steve hung his head and stared at his hands for a few moments.
"Why?" The blond soldier brought his head up and stared at the metal armed man across from him. "Why do I need to be armed around you?" Bucky stayed silent. His blue eyes stared, unblinkingly, back at Steve. He wasn't at a loss for words. He just couldn't bring himself to explain it to him.
"Take it." Bucky whispered, pushing the blade back to Steve.
"Damn it, Bucky! I don't WANT the knife!" Steve stood up from his chair again. He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. He didn't know what else to do, and the whole situation was stressing him out. "What's the point, Buck? Do you expect me to kill you when you 'misbehave' or something?" He asked, putting the word in air quotes. "I don't - " Steve stopped when he caught Bucky's gaze. Something flashed in those icy blue eyes. Something Steve hadn't seen before.
And that scared him because he knew his friend so well. He knew everything about him. But this...
"Bucky... Is that why you give me a weapon?" Steve asked, sliding his chair closer to Bucky and sitting beside him. "Is that something you had to do with Hydra?" The blond soldier stared at his friend's blue eyes. Bucky brought his gaze up to Steve, his hand still resting on the blade on the table. "Is that the reason?" Bucky stayed quiet, but his eyes conveyed so much pain and hurt. Steve found his eyes stinging with the threat of tears.
"Steve..." Bucky's voice cracked as he spoke. His hand slipped into his lap and curled into a fist. "Put me down." His words hung in the air, making the atmosphere tense and dark. Steve blinked several times, unable to process the words he just heard.
"Wh-what?" Steve stammered in shock. "Bucky, stop it. I'm not going to put you down." He insisted. "You're my friend. I would never hurt you." He placed his hands on Bucky's shoulders and stared him straight in the eyes. There was so much Bucky wanted to say as he stared at Steve, but he couldn't bring himself to speak. At least not yet.
"You're not that person anymore. I'm not a Hydra agent." Steve said. "You're safe with me, and I'm safe with you." The blond pulled him into a hug. Bucky stayed frozen for several moments. Then he slowly moved his hands and wrapped them around his friend. The comforting warmth washed over him, and he felt flooded with emotions. He closed his eyes and rested his head against Steve's shoulder, softly murmuring the one word that touched him.
"Safe..."