An Unexpected Future
Dib shuffled home miserably, having just been outdone by his archrival yet again. His plan to expose him for what he really was had failed epically, as it always did when trying to convince his classmates of the paranormal.
"I've been doing this for over a year, yet I'm still in the same position as I was back when he first came here…" he muttered as he approached his house, "Earth isn't any safer, and I'm still one of the only ones who's actually trying. Will this never change…?"
He reached the door and let himself in as he usually did, locking the door behind him. Zim had been popping by his house lately, and he didn't want to deal with the scum right now. As he walked past Gaz and into the hall he greeted, "Hey, Gaz."
Gaz, as she usually did, barely looked up from her precious video game. She growled as he passed, a warning for him to stay away. She didn't want to be bothered with neither his problems nor his presence.
He hurried his pace, not wanting to incur the wrath of his devilish sister. He'd witnessed what she could do before, and just the thought of it instilled an unusual fear in his very being.
Soon his was in the solitude of his own room, lying on his bed and thoroughly thinking things through. He wanted things to change, for him to finally come out on top for once and show everyone that he was telling the truth, to really save the earth.
He tried desperately to think up a fool-proof plan, one that would cripple Zim for good. But no matter what he thought up, he couldn't find the perfect scenario. There would always be some random and unexpected way that would cause each plan to fail.
Then he got an idea, one that would show him the truth once and for all. It was an idea based off of one of Zim's past failures, but he would turn that around and make it work to his advantage. He would execute his plan perfectly to find out the truth so he could rest easy.
He jumped from his bed, an excited smile on his face. Hastily he made his way to the living room, where Gaz was still seated on the couch playing her newest video game.
"Gaz!" he said happily, nearly jumping up and down, "Where's dad? I have to ask him something. Something… important."
She didn't look away from the tiny screen, and Dib could feel her anger emanating from her. He'd interrupted her gaming, one of the things she hated the most. He backed away slightly, just in case she decided to act out against him. Luckily, though, she stayed put.
With a growl she said evilly, "He's in the lab like always, duh. Now go away before I tear your head off and pour the fiery acids of hell down your throat. You're making me lose the game."
He ran away from the area, fearful of what she would do to him if he stayed there any longer. By the tone of her voice she was dead serious, but he didn't want to stick around to find out.
He high-tailed it out of there, quickly making his way to his father's lab. He wanted to do this as soon as possible; he had to find out for himself.
Soon he was walking around the enormous laboratory, looking for his dad. He'd need the man's permission to do this and it wouldn't be possible without him. Heck, Dib didn't even know if his dad had worked out the bugs of this thing yet.
He could hear a constant muttering and see the light of sparks over a row of shelves, which ultimately led him to his father's current workstation. Now that he knew where the scientific genius was, he had to think this through.
He desperately wanted to see what would come of himself, but when dealing with his dad he had be more than careful. Dib had to convince him that he'd need it for science instead of the paranormal, or else he could ditch his plan right then and there.
Unable to think up a decent lie he decided to wing it, walking up to his dad casually. Trying to sound confident he poked him and said, "Dad, I have something to ask you. It's really important."
Shutting down his machinery so nothing unexpected would happen, Professor Membrane replied, "What is it, Son? Finally make an important discovery to join the ranks of the best? I made my first breakthrough when I was your age, you know."
Dib said nervously, "Um… no. I was just wondering if you'd built that time machine yet, the one that's human friendly. I really need to use one."
His father thought for a moment, debating whether or not to disclose such information. When his decision was made he asked slyly, "What do you want to use it for?"
Dib, still unable to think up an excuse that his dad would buy, decided to come clean. If all went well, he would still get what he wanted. Hoping it would work he said nervously, "I… I wanted to use it to see something. To see if I ever capture Zim and expose him for what he truly is."
There was a moment of silence, in which Dib could tell his dad was clearly disappointed. He knew he had to add something convincing quick, or he'd never get what he needed. It was now or never.
"We could see if I ever grow out of the paranormal and turn to science. How does that sound?" he suddenly blurted out in a last-ditch effort to convey his father.
His dad gave a tiny jump, thinking of the possibilities. He said heroically, "YES! That way you'd finally realize that all of your paranormal junk is useless and realize what it's like to be a man of science! I can see it now…"
"Does that mean you have a working time machine I could use?" Dib asked, wanting to make sure. By the tone of his voice he was going to allow him to use one if he had it, but he was known to be slightly misleading at times.
"Well since it's for science, yes, it is complete and functional," he answered, "And I suppose you could use it. When will you be ready to go?"
"Wait… so if it's for science it's complete, but if it's for the paranormal it's not done yet? How does that work out?" Dib asked suspiciously, not able to resist.
"Do you want to go or not?"
"Yeah! Right away… I just have to get a few things first!" he muttered, walking away. His dad's behavior regarding his interests never ceased to amaze him.
Soon he was back in his room, packing a bag full of stuff he thought he might need. Before anyone had noticed, he was ready and back on his way to his father's lab. On the way back he stopped in the living room, where his sister still sat playing her handheld game.
"Hey, Gaz, I'll be gone for a bit. I'm going to the future to see some stuff. Tape all the Mysterious Mysteries episodes I miss for me… and if Zim comes by tell him that I'm destroying him from the last place he'd expect," he instructed.
He began to walk away when he found that Gaz had somehow moved from the couch. In the blink of an eye she'd gotten from her seat on the couch to the space in front of him, her eyes open menacingly and a frown on her face.
"While you're there you'd better get me the newest game, or you'll regret it. I NEED that game. If you don't, you'll feel a greater pain than you can ever imagine. Understand?" she threatened before returning to the couch.
He nodded nervously. As he slipped by her he squeaked, "Sure thing…"
From there he ran back downstairs to where his dad was, not wanting to risk receiving his sister's rage. Soon he was again standing in the lab, in front of a recently unveiled piece of newly built machinery.
"Wow… this thing is amazing…" he gaped, as he ran his fingers across its shiny surface. Seeing such a thing as this was a daily occurrence, but for some strange reason this one in particular caught his interest.
"So, it's finally starting… you're finally realizing the wonders of science, my boy!" Professor Membrane said triumphantly. He thought he was finally getting through to his son.
A few moments of silence passed as Dib examined the beautiful piece of work. That quickly passed, however, for his excitement of seeing what was in store for him grew with ever second, eventually becoming overwhelming.
"So, can we fire it up, dad?" he asked, taking a glance at the controls. They looked complex, but he didn't care in the least; he wanted desperately to go on this new adventure, and now nothing would stop him.
"Yes, yes, I just have to tell you a few things first," he said, reaching into one of his pockets and pulling out an oddly styled bracelet, "There aren't too many rules, just try to not change too much. This bracelet will open the time machine's portal when you press the button, giving you a way back here."
"Cool. Does that mean it's ready?" Dib asked as he fastened the bracelet to his wrist. He was really getting psyched for this.
"Yes, just tell me what time you want to go to so I can punch it in, and you can be on your way," Membrane said, getting ready to punch in the correct data.
After a moment of thought his son suggested, "How about thirty years in the future? Not such a short time that it'll be the same as now, but not so great I'll be dead. I should be accomplished by then, for sure."
"Ah, a good choice," the professor complimented, as he punched in the information needed to make the magnificent machine function correctly. Though he didn't show it, he was just as excited as his son to see how he'd turn out.
A soft whirring noise filled the room and Dib's eyes lit up with anticipation. Gradually the whining noise few louder until it was the only thing either one of them could hear. Then, without warning, the strange noise stopped.
Particles of some sort of substance, one that Dib knew nothing about, began to appear around the machine. They gathered at the rims of the doorway that Dib would be walking through. As more and more grouped together, their glow grew more intense.
The two shielded their eyes as the light became blinding, but soon it died down and they could see again. When they opened their eyes they found that the particles had transformed and were showing them something.
Looking at the doorway of the machine they saw that it was projecting a scene from thirty years in the future.
It portrayed a pale middle-aged man, standing at the front of what looked to be a classroom and talking away, almost as if ranting. His black hair was shiny with grease, sticking flat against his head. For some strange reason his teeth were horrible and his ears were lower than they should be, oddly placed on his neck.
He turned around and wrote something on the board, hunching over slightly as he did so. Dib and his father couldn't quite tell what he was saying or writing, but neither seemed to care much about that.
"Ah, so you teach aspiring scientists of your many world-changing discoveries! I knew you'd eventually turn to the ways of science. Now… I think you might finally be making me proud, son," Professor Membrane said proudly, patting his son on the back. He was already jumping to conclusions, but even he didn't seem to care.
The angle on the projection of the future changed, moving away from the future Dib. Soon it showed the students, and the boy could nearly feel his father's spirits drop. They were just kids, probably in elementary school.
Dib, not wanting his dad to be completely disappointed, said meekly, "Maybe… maybe they're the advanced kids. You never know these days, they could be geniuses."
It didn't do much to cheer him up, but the boy didn't make any further attempts to make the mood in the room any lighter. He had given himself a new mission: to go to the future in order to see what he'd become and possibly discover how to defeat Zim.
He left his side, moving toward the portal that would lead him to his future. Before going in he turned and said to his dad, "Thanks a lot. The paranormal studies will really benefit from this!"
With that he turned, stepping into the portal before his dad could stop him. The image rippled as he stepped into it, and an odd sensation filled his body. He closed his eyes as the strange portal substance engulfed his body. He couldn't wait to see what was on the other side.
Dib found himself floating near the ceiling of the room, though that feeling of suspension quickly wore off as gravity set in. With a thud he landed on the ground, face first.
Quickly he got up and brushed himself off before taking a glance around the room. He could tell that they weren't a class of geniuses, not in the least; many of them were sleeping in the middle of the lesson, while others did completely random things. One kid talked to his pink pencil and green eraser, which led Dib to think this was a class for… below average kids.
But something about this group of school children struck him as odd. Not unlike the class he attended back in his own time, the kids here barely noticed anything. One, maybe two of them had noticed him dropping out of nowhere, as if it was something of a daily occurrence.
The teacher, the future Dib, however, reacted in a completely different way than his students. At first he jumped back as if he was completely paranoid, but that surprise quickly turned to nervousness.
"Eeee!" he squealed, as he lunged under his desk. He needed to hide, at least until he sorted this out.
Dib, looking curiously at the brown desk, ventured forth to see his future self. Still the class seemed to not care all that much that this was happening, and as he crept forward he heard someone snore.
Poking his head around to the back of the desk, he saw that there was a small curtain cutting off the hole in the desk. He pulled it back to reveal his future self, cowering in the cramped space.
"Umm… hi," Dib greeted, not quite sure of what to say. He held out his hand, hoping to make a decent introduction.
The teacher merely jumped, accidentally slamming his head on the bottom of the desk. Hastily he crawled out from his hiding space, grabbing Dib by the collar of his shirt. He knew that they had to get out of there as soon as possible.
"Class, I'll be right back," he said, walking away and dragging the boy behind him. Dib tried to protest, but before he could they arrived at a door just down the hall from the classroom. Upon observation Dib realized they had stopped at a janitor's closet.
"Hey, this is just a closet… why are we here?" he asked, glancing around.
"Just be quiet and follow me," the man ordered, as he led Dib into the closet. There they found a telephone booth, which they crammed into. Still Dib didn't know what was going on, but he'd go with it nonetheless to see what would happen.
For a moment the two stood there while the future Dib thought things over, and soon he had decided on a plan of action. Without warning he dialed 11061992 on the phone, and the floor of the booth fell away from under their feet.
They both fell down through the floor to a sort of underground lair. Computers and gadgets filled the room, though most everything looked to be mediocre at best. This confused Dib; if he wasn't scientific and there was no sign of his alien obsession… was it possible that he was just an average schoolteacher?
Unable to push the thought from his mind he asked rapidly, "I'm you from the past, and I have a few questions for you. What ever happened to ZIM? Why are you teaching such stupid children? Why is everything in here crap? And… why do you look so… odd?"
Older Dib sighed. Somehow he'd known that this would happen eventually, as if it was a distant memory. He looked around nervously, not quite sure of what to say. After a moment of pondering the subject he said, "I would prefer it if you called me Mr. Crocker from now on, all right, Dib?"
This confused him and he asked, "But why? We're Dib Membrane, not this 'Crocker' person. I can see how it would be better to clear up any confusion we might have here, but still…"
"Oh, I'll explain that all later," Crocker said, "But as far as you're other questions, I have one question that should… at least, slightly… answer them all. I never caught ZIM, I never even found a way to expose him for what he really was."
Dib fell silent. Though this news truly disappointed him, he wanted to know more. He nodded slowly, signaling for his future self to continue.
"I never defeated ZIM, and he ended up escaping to some other part of the earth… or another planet, for all I know. Dad never did accept me because I continued my paranormal studies even after the alien's disappearance. Eventually he got so tired of me that he just kicked me out, refusing to pay for anything of mine until I turned to science," he explained, nodding sadly.
"Yeah, he never really did prefer the things I took interest in. I guess that explains why everything in here is built so… crappily, and why you teach that bunch of idiots to make a minuscule amount of money. But that doesn't explain why you look so odd," Dib said, trying to think of what that answer might be.
"Well despite ZIM's appearance, I continued investigating his kind. No matter what evidence I brought to the table, however, nobody but the SEN ever believed me. After a while people began to ridicule me for these proven things I was showing them, saying I was 'insane' and 'not normal'," Crocker said, remembering what it had been like all those years ago.
"I get that as it is, so why would it be different after a few years. It never really gets to me now, so why then?" Dib said accusingly, though he didn't exactly mean to come off so harsh.
"Yeah, but you don't have most of the world against you… you only have a small community," Mr. Crocker corrected logically, and Dib saw his reasoning.
"You're right, but still… why this? Why not just move away or something? It probably would have been a whole lot easier…" the boy questioned, narrowing his eyes.
"I couldn't, it wasn't possible. It just got so stressful, and I had to change it somehow. I attempted to change my appearance, give myself a new identity with one of dad's inventions before I was kicked out, but as you can see… it went horribly wrong," he said with a dry laugh.
Again Dib fell silent, this time observing his future self more closely. He was indeed unbearably ugly, and the sight of him almost made the young boy retch. He held it in to be polite, though, and allowed Crocker to continue. This conversation was getting more and more disturbing for him, but he HAD to know the truth.
"As I said before, father kicked me out… but it didn't end there, oh no; he refused to pay for anything of mine until I gave up the paranormal studies…" he started.
"You already said that," Dib pointed out, interrupting carelessly.
Crocker pretended like he hadn't even opened his mouth and continued, "Of course, I would never do that; the paranormal is my life. So I went about from place to place, and eventually ended up here."
Dib nodded, letting his brain process this. He didn't want to believe that this was really his future, in all its disappointing glory. Wracking his brain for any possible way to prove this reality wrong he asked franticly, "Then why's your voice so weird?"
"Puberty."
Dib's shoulder's fell, as did his spirit. It was true; this was his future, and he could no longer deny it. He knew there was no getting away from this bout of horribleness right now, though, so he tried his darndest to find a ray of sunshine in this cloudy situation.
As he walked from his future self to think things over, Mr. Crocker eyes him suspiciously. Although the awkward man knew that he was really him, he couldn't help but be cautious.
Taking a closer look at the objects scattered around the peculiar place, Dib found many odd things that seemed in no way to belong in any particular group. The array of odd items baffled him.
Butterfly nets lined much of the walls and a few lay on the table, in the middle of getting modifications of some sort. The many bulletin boards were covered in stalker-like pictures of a young boy with a pink hat, and mixed among them were the occasional picture of green hair or a foot or a crown.
"So…" Dib started, as he held up what looked to be a makeshift tracking device to examine it more closely, "What exactly do you do with all these random things? They honestly don't look like anything special."
With a dry laugh the creepy schoolteacher said, "You know how I never captured ZIM? Well once I moved on from him, I went on to other things. Eventually I stumbled upon something completely new to the world of the paranormal, something I had to prove if it was the last thing I did."
A moment passed in which Crocker started obsessing about his passion, broken only by Dib's voice when he asked, "And that would be WHAT, exactly?"
Pointing to the many pictures tacked o the wall he said, "I've discovered the existence of… FAIRY GOD PARENTS!"
Normally such a statement wouldn't have bothered Dib, he'd probably even be intrigued by such a concept. But something strange happened upon the saying of those last words, something that really creeped him out.
When uttering the words 'fairy god parents', Crocker had crazily freaked out, spasming all over the place. It was slightly hard to explain and deeply frightened the boy, as he'd never in his life seen behavior such as that.
"Please, Mr. Crocker, don't ever do that again," Dib said slowly, backing away a few steps for possible protection if he needed it.
Apparently the hunchbacked man wasn't even aware that the spasms had happened; he'd been doing it for so long that it had become a kind of second nature to him. A confused look crossed his face.
"What d'you mean? Can't I tell you my research on FAIRY GOD PARENTS?" he asked inquisitively, not quite sure what the boy was asking of him.
Again, without realizing it, Mr. Crocker had a few massive fits of spasms, bouncing around the room. Soon enough he finished and was back to normal, however Dib had had enough.
Not wanting to stay in this messed up future with his frighteningly ugly and creepy future self any longer, he rushed out of the room through a not-so-secret entrance, getting as far away as possible.
As he ran down the street he thought of home, and remembered his sister's request. Not wanting to get in trouble with her he took a detour to a gaming shop. He knew that if he went back on his word with her, there would be hell to pay.
Soon he emerged from one of the few game shops he'd come across, the newest handheld system and game in hand. Having done this he decided that his business here was done. Hastily he activated the bracelet his father had given him to get back to his own time.
There was a blinding flash of light that enveloped his surroundings, the gateway that would lead him to his home. The intense brightness seemed to burn right through him and he instinctively closed his eyes just as the transfer between times began.
He opened his eyes minutes later to find his father looming over him, shaking his head sadly. The whole time he'd been watching Dib's adventure on the screen built into the machine. He'd known that his son had an obsession with the paranormal, but he'd never in his wildest dreams thought it would go that far.
Dib, not wanting to deal with his father's inevitable lecture at the moment, got up and sprinted out of the lab. He knew now that his dad had been right all along, but he didn't need to get it shoved in his face right after experiencing it.
He ran past his sister, who had migrated from the couch to the kitchen table in order to eat a piece of toast while gaming, completely forgetting about her game. He had too much on his mind right now and couldn't be bothered with such trivial things. She opened her mouth to protest, but before she could say anything he was gone.
Soon he was sitting on his bed with his door safely closed and locked, and he finally let everything mull over in his brain. There was no way he wanted to end up as pathetic as the man he'd seen in the future, not if he could help it.
He wracked his brain for any possible solution to this problem, though none came to mind. Sure, he could turn to the ways of science like his father wanted, but that wouldn't really be him at all.
And unless he'd gotten some sort of insight from this whole ordeal, there was no chance of catching ZIM at the moment. For the time being he couldn't see the silver lining people were always talking about, and thought to just give up.
However, before he thought any farther about that, he randomly remembered something. Gaz was waiting for her video game to be delivered to her. He already had a lot to deal with, and he realized now that incurring her wrath would only make things ten times worse.
Shuffling carelessly through the house, he got back to the kitchen with her 'gift' in hand. Wanting her game, she halted her brother this time immediately upon his entering of the room, that evil look plastered on her face.
"Here, I got it…" he muttered, throwing the bag onto the table for her to take. The contents spilled out randomly, and immediately he could see her dismay at what he'd brought her.
As she unwrapped the contents of the bag the ripping of plastic and cardboard filled the air. He could feel her anger rising with every moment, nearing the point of danger. Once everything was unwrapped there was a moment of silence as she took it in, though that soon ended.
He turned to walk away at the last moment, not wanting her to act out on him, but before he could get away she exploded, "Crash Nebula? What the hell, Dib! You'll pay for this…"
Before realizing what he was doing Dib countered, "Yeah? Well whatever, because that's exactly what you asked for! 'The newest game', that's what you said before I left. So don't you cry about it!"
"Cry?" she laughed evilly, frightening her brother deeply, "Why would I cry? I know just who to blame… and if that person doesn't go back and get me my Game Slave from that year, then he'll come to an… unfortunate death."
He snapped loudly, cringing slightly, "NO! I'm not going back there! You don't know what it was like…"
"Whatever, then just make it so you never bring this crap upon me… Crash Nebula… what a waste of time…" she muttered, returning to her game as if none of that had happened. She knew that Dib would follow her orders.
"Make it so I never got it…" Dib murmured, mostly to himself. She'd given him an idea; why he hadn't thought of it himself he didn't know, but now he knew what he had to do. And whether his father liked it or not, he would do this.
He bolted off toward the lab, a determined look in his eyes. He knew how to fix this, or at least fix it as much as he possibly could. Before he knew it he was at the bottom of the stairs in his father's lab, glancing nervously around.
"OK… I can do this. It's simple enough… I just have to avoid dad," he muttered, prepping himself for the task he was about to complete. This would be dangerous, but it was the only way to get away from all of this.
He hurried to the time machine, seeing that his father was nowhere in sight. He'd probably gone back to work on his current project, just like he always did. He was always working on something.
Acting quick, Dib remembered what his dad had done to make the machine work. Once the memory returned to him he punched in the numbers for the destination. He'd go back in time to make it so none of this ever happened.
Deciding to go back a few days so he could try to defeat Zim again, now that he knew what would go down in their most recent fight, he pressed the big shiny green button that would activate the portal. Just in case he left his bracelet behind; he wouldn't want to come back, so he wouldn't need it.
His dad evidently overheard the machine powering up, and rushed to see what was going on. A bewildered look crossed his face as he asked franticly, "Son, what are you doing? You know not to use this stuff!"
"Yeah, I know…" Dib said, stalling so the machine could power up before his dad turned it off, "But I need to do this. I'll make sure you never see what you just saw, and I'm going to change everything."
His dad was about to say something, but before he could the particles had gathered and had started showing the scene Dib had chosen. Though his dad moved to stop him, Dib jumped in before he could.
He would undo all of this.
He landed in the middle of an alley by the skool, right in the midst of his encounter with Zim. Now he knew how to beat him this time, and would put that knowledge to good use.
Putting all that had happened from his mind Dib said threateningly, "ZIM! You won't get away with this! I'll expose you for what you really are!"
:end:
WOO! My first (sort of) Invader Zim fanfiction! Well, the first complete one, anyway...
Yeah. Just a bunch of randomness... not much to say, I suppose. Was definately fun to write, that's for sure.
Invader ZIM (c) Jhonen Vasquez
Fairly Odd Parents (c) Nick