Honestly…I've begun to hate the silence…
Shigeyoshi Rinzou, is my name. I'm a seventeen year old second year, and that is the most interesting thing, if it is, about me. My parents are both workaholics, I'm lucky if I'm up late at night to hear them in the house, I see them in the morning sometimes, as I'm getting ready for school, but it's not exactly time for conversation then. It seems like we are only strangers, living together. I can't remember a time when we sat down at the table and ate together. My mother leaves me notes as she leaves, I'm wondering, should I be satisfied with just that?
"Rinzou." My father called as I walked by his room, he was putting on his tie in the mirror. My mother was pulling up her stockings.
"Hai?" I said, he looked at me through the mirror, then back to his tie. My mother came over and finally helped him.
"Are you doing well in school?" He asked. I was surprised that he asked.
"I could do a bit-" I began.
"Good, good." My father said interrupting. I stopped and felt my throat tense.
"Mom…dad…" I said as they were running around the room, I wanted to get it off of my chest. "I-"
"Yes, yes, how much do you want?" My father said, assuming I was asking for allowance.
"What…? No…I have to-" I stopped as my father fiddled with his money.
"How much do you need, Rinzou?" He asked. He looked up to me, I stared at him angered, I looked away.
"How much do you have?" I asked. My mother turned to me surprised.
"Oi, oi." My dad said looking through his wallet, I smacked it onto the floor. He looked up to me shocked.
"Not enough." I said. I walked out of the room, I heard my mother call after me but I ran out of the house.
It's not like I will go home and he will be there. It will be like it never happened. Geez, I wanted to tell them properly, and look how it turned out. I was wrong, and I know that, but sometimes even parents are as dense as children.
"Rinzou!" I turned around, it was Hadako Aomi, one of my classmates.
"Morning." I said straightly.
"Something wrong?" She asked, I sighed and looked up to the sky, then back down to her.
"No." I said, I started to walk.
"You're always so cold." She said laughing. "The girls in class bet that you are a tsundere."
"Ah…I guess I should start being nicer." I said not exactly liking that. "Ne, Aomi."
"Hm?" She said with a smile.
"Do you fight with your parents?" I asked.
"What's that suddenly?" She laughed, "I haven't spoken to them in a long time, the last time was a fight."
"Sorry." I said, I felt embarrassed that I asked something so personal.
"It's fine, but why do you ask?" She asked.
"Nothing really, but…thank you for sharing that with me." I said looking down at her, her face was red and she nodded looking down away from me.
In class the only thing I could think about was what happened earlier. I looked out of the window, bored, I slowly found myself becoming cynical and unhappy. I wanted something interesting to happen, something for some reason, anything.
I'm tired of the world the way it is, and it won't change tomorrow, and neither will I.
At lunch break I was starving, and since I had barged out of the house, I forgot to grab my lunch or even money to buy something. I sat at my desk and looked around at the class. They were having fun, talking with friends, and it made me feel like I was completely in another world.
"Yo! Rinzou." Tonori slapped me on the back and I turned to him surprised. He pulled the chair from the desk on the side and dropped all of his melon bread in front of me. I stared at it like an animal. He grabbed one and I watched him pull it open, and he slowly put it into his mouth. "Ah~, So good~!"
"Ah, Rinzou." Aomi came in from the hall. She pulled the chair around from the desk in front of me and sat down. She placed her lunchbox on my desk and opened it with a smile. It was the most beautiful lunch I had ever seen. "Itadakimasu~!" She said slamming her hands together.
I looked back at both of them, both devouring the food before them. Tonori taking sloppy bites of his bread, and Aomi annihilating her rice. They both stopped when a long growl came from my stomach. Then continued eating again.
"ENOUGH!" I shouted. I grabbed one of Tonori's melon breads and chewed through it with the plastic and all. They both stared at me, I sat down spitting out the melon bread. "Sorry."
I walked home with Tonori, not wanting to go home, no one would be there anyway.
"Ne, Rinzou." Tonori said, he threw his bag over his shoulder and smirked with his eyes closed. I waited for him to continue, "Do you like Aomi-chan?"
"Why?" I asked, he looked at me, then itched the side of his cheek with a finger looking up.
"She's cute, really popular among the boys, she could eat lunch with anyone, but she eats with you." He said.
"Ah, is that so?" I said sighing. I looked over to across the street, where between the city buildings was a strange vacant lot, with a small shrine in the middle. I was about to tell Tonori to look, but Aomi slapped me on the back.
"Oh, Aomi-chan~" Tonori said with a smile.
"Do you see-" I pointed across the street, but there was nothing but a large brick wall, where the shrine was. They both looked at where I was pointing.
"What?" Tonori asked.
"Nothing, I must be going crazy." I said itching my head.
"A lot of us are going to Karaoke, so I chased after you guys to ask if you wanted to come."
"Sure, we'll be there!" Tonori said throwing his shoulder around me. Aomi smiled and turned waving, she stopped suddenly and turned to me.
"Um, I don't have your number, Rinzou." I looked at her confused, "Well, to avoid things like this…" She said laughing shyly. I grabbed her phone from her hands, she stared at me. I put my number into her phone. I emailed myself and showed her the "nyaaaa!" message, she laughed.
"Here." I said handing her phone back.
"Arigatou!" She said, she waved and ran back to the girl's just a little away.
"See, see." Tonori said watching her run back. He threw his arm around me again, I made an annoyed face. "She doesn't have my number either."
"I don't get it." I said pushing him off, he laughed and we began to walk to his house. I looked at the large brick wall, where I saw the strange shrine, or thought I had…
Tonori put on his best clothes and cologne, he was determined to begin a relationship with a girl from karaoke. I laughed at him as he practiced lines in his mirror. Finally though, I had grabbed him by the back of his collar and out of the door.
The room was full. There were people singing on the microphone and people chugging down sake they had smuggled in. I made my way to a couch and sat down. There was a large, large, large, man beside me and I moved away scared when I noticed him, and his uniform.
"You…you're in high school?" I said surprised, he did not even reply to me.
"Rarara~ Bonyo wants to sing…"He said to himself sadly. I looked at him scared, confused, and dumbfounded. I scooted over and bumped into someone.
"Ah, sorry-" I said until I realized it was Aomi.
"Hello!" She yelled in my ear, she laughed as she held a cup in her hand. I grabbed it away from her. "Give me back my tea!" She said, she climbed all over me trying to grab it but I held it away from her. I felt it leave my hands.
"Arigatou~" Bonyo said in his slow, deep voice. He took a long sip of the tea.
"Bonyo, no!" I shouted. He turned to stone, and the stone around him cracked and he sprung up with a smile. He pushed through the people and pushed the people off of the microphone.
"My tea…" Aomi said hitting me on the chest repeatedly.
"That wasn't tea, baka." I said grabbing her wrists, she stared in my face with tears in her eyes. I looked at her and felt my face become hot. I let her go.
We both looked away from one another as we sat on the couch. I felt someone sit beside her and I turned. It was Himore, a boy from the class next door. He put his arm around Aomi and whispered things to her, she giggled, drunk.
"Aomi." I said standing up. She looked up to me with a peaceful smile. Himore looked at me annoyed.
"Is that your boyfriend?" Himore asked her, she laughed and shook her head no. She opened her eyes slowly and looked down at the floor dazed as if she realized something.
"Let's go, Aomi." I said. I grabbed her and pulled her to me. Himore grabbed her wrist and we both turned to him.
"If you're not her boyfriend, you can't go around ruining other guy's chances." He said standing. "Ne, Aomi, you want to stay and sing right?" Aomi didn't say anything. "This guy is a buzz kill anyway."
"You bastard." I said grabbing him by the collar.
"Oi!" Tonori pulled us apart and looked at me sternly. Girls around him had looked at him admiringly, his serious face broke and he smiled like an idiot.
"I get it!" I said pissed off, I left the room. Himore sat down chuckling to himself.
"Rinzou!" Aomi came after me. I continued walking away. "Rinzou…wait!" She huffed as she tried to catch up to me. She tried to grab me but I jerked my arm away when she would get a grasp on me.
I turned around and suddenly and she stopped sharply nearly bumping into me. "I li-" I stopped and looked passed Aomi, to the large vacant lot, with the shrine in it, just a little ways behind us across the street. Except…how can it be here now? This isn't the same street…
"Rinzou?" Aomi asked, she turned around to try and see what I was looking at.
"I'm sorry." I said. I took off across the street to catch the shrine.
"Rinzou, what is wrong?" Aomi said following after me. I turned to her confused.
"Don't you…?" I said, she looked at me, I turned, and it was nothing but a brick wall. I put my hand on the wall. "I really…must be tired." I sighed.
Aomi grabbed my hand, I turned to her startled. "I want to show you something."
She took me to a rooftop, she had her hands over my eyes and let go when we reached the railing before the edge. I opened my eyes and looked at the view. Everything was incredible, the lights, the sounds, the everything.
"Wow, it's amazing." I said smiling. I could feel her looking at me, she leaned her elbows on the railing and let out a chuckle. "Uwah…I really needed this…" I said looking out.
"I promised to take you here." She said. I turned to her not understanding.
"Me? Why?" I asked. She turned around and leaned her back on the railing. She reached her hand into the sky and closed one of her eyes, like she was aiming.
"Have you ever wanted more, searched for more?" She said, her voice was soothing. I looked at her, then to her hand up against the stars. "You get it, and then you realize 'ah, what I wanted was there all along." She closed her hand quickly, "But it's already gone."
She peaked into her hand and laughed, I couldn't help but to laugh at her, she was like a child. She grabbed my hand and acted as if she put something in my hand. I opened my hand but she closed it tightly.
"It's a wishing star, you can't let it back out until you make a wish." She said seriously. I looked at my closed fist.
I laughed to myself, she looked at me embarrassed. "No, it's just, when we have the opportunity to wish, that's when you forget what it is you want. That must mean the things we want aren't really as important as we think." She leaned on the railing.
I wish, for anything. I opened my hand, and she looked at me.
"You wished?" She asked, I nodded and looked out to the view.
"I wished that you would know what I was thinking." I told her. She looked at me.
"Why?" She laughed.
"It'd be easier." I said, I felt my face go hot and I put my head down and let my hair cover my face. I couldn't believe I was saying the things I did.
"I like you." She said, I looked up to her surprised. She smiled and sighed.
"I'm sorry." I said, she looked at me, with a sad expression. "That must have been hard."
"I-" She held onto her shirt by the bottom, bundling it up in nervousness, I grabbed her and held her close, putting my hand on her head. "Baka…" She said, "I was scared."
Aomi had told me to sleep on everything. She felt that what I feel could possibly just be an in the moment kind of thing, and wanted me to make sure of my feelings. She said she has been hurt before, I understood, and I am sure of my feelings.
I got to my door and put my hand on the door knob. I imagined my father and mother being inside, waiting for me. They'd have a dinner ready, and apologize for everything.
"What am I thinking?' I said to myself. I opened the door and looked around the house. No one was home.
I walked into the kitchen, I could see them happy, mom putting down her apple pie, dad talking about his wins in business, and me there, with them. But when I turned off the light, that was gone.
I walked to school, I felt nervous, and didn't know how I would act towards Aomi. I wanted to see her, but then again I was just so nervous.
"Good morning." I heard from behind me. I turned around, I looked down to a little old woman. She just barely reached half of my thigh, and she wore an eye patch. She had her silver hair in a bun, and the one eye shown was a beautiful blue color, like the sky, or clear blue ocean. She had a pipe in her hand and puffed it, in her red kimono with the painted koi fish.
"Good…morning?" I said, she looked up to me and chuckled as she walked away. I was confused.