A/N: So this idea's been bugging me for a while. I've finally had some time to write it down (at one in the morning, which would explain some of the loopy bits) It turned out more humorous than I intended it to be.
The living room was torn to pieces. Books and pillows lay in disarray, torn and mangled, as if some sort of rabid monster had ravaged the place (and in a sense, one had).
Rosalie sat on the couch, unmoving, her clothes torn and covered in blood. She was exhausted, quite a feat for one of the undead. She did not even dare to breathe as she stared at the sleeping form on the couch beside her. A baby.
It was a female baby. And though she was still covered in remnants of blood (they had tried to bathe here, but she shrieked every time they brought her near the water), she was the most beautiful baby imaginable. Though she had only been born five hours prior, she already appeared to be at least four months in age. Her skin was pale and milky just like her vampire father's but held just a hint of blush, tribute to her once-human mother. Her eyes, hidden behind her delicate lids as she slept, were a rare shade of brown, hiding the bloodlust that was usually so apparent in newborn vampires' crimson eyes. Her bronze curls, the exact color of her father's, fell to her shoulders, a shocking look for such a small child.
Her chest rose and fell with small, even breaths, and to an onlooker, the baby would've appeared quite calm and peaceful. But, alas, it was not true. Sleep was the only thing that seemed to be able to tame the monstrous baby.
Just then, footsteps were heard coming quietly and swiftly down the main staircase. But not quiet enough. The demon child's eyes flew open immediately; Rosalie groaned.
In a flash, the baby had attached itself firmly to Rosalie's arm, thrashing, kicking, and biting. Rosalie winced from the pricking pain of the baby's sharp teeth. They were strong, but not strong enough to do any damage to Rosalie's granite skin.
"Still the same then?" came a voice, Edward's, who had just emerged from the steps. He wore a pained expression on his face and could not seem to look directly at Rosalie or the child. His insight into Rosalie's mind and the current situation were enough to answer his question.
"And to think she almost died for that thing," Edward mumbled with contempt, thinking of his wife suffering in agony in the upstairs bedroom.
The child only continued gnawing on Rosalie's arm.
A moment of silence (sans the child's fervent gnashing), and then Carlisle entered the room, calm and collected as always.
"Any change?" he asked.
In answer, Rosalie let out another shriek as the child bit down on her arm more harshly than before; Edward only grimaced darkly.
"But look!" Carlisle exclaimed, looking at the child clinging to Rosalie's arm. "She's grown. Just look."
And indeed she had. The child had grown at least an inch and a half in length in just a few hours. She also appeared chubbier and her hair had become longer as well. If she hadn't been frantically trying to chew off Rosalie's arm, she her appearance would've been quite cherubic.
"Is that a good sign or a bad sign?" Rosalie asked hopefully.
Edward let out a disgusted sound. How could she still care for this baby after its savage actions, mainly geared toward her!
"A good sign, one would think," reasoned Carlisle. "If her body is growing, then it's safe to say her mind is as well. Edward?" he asked. "Can you tell us what she's thinking?"
Edward growled, but grudgingly complied, answering through gritted teeth. "Blood. And that's it. Even worse than any newborn I've come across."
"She's just hungry," Carlisle explained. "Poor little tyke."—here Edward growled even louder—"She's just like any baby here age, except for the fact that she craves blood instead of breast milk or formula. And I reckon she's teething as well. Rosalie's arm is perfect for her strong little teeth."—here it was Rosalie's turn to snarl—"Like any baby, all her mind's focused on is fulfilling her own needs. Has she been sleeping?"
Rosalie nodded, and Edward saw in his mind that she wished it would've stayed that way. Edward smirked.
"And has anyone thought to change her diaper?" Carlisle added.
No one had even considered trying; it had been hard enough to wrestle the first one on. But when they all thought of it, they did notice a faint stench emanating from the sagging diaper.
Carlisle chuckled. "When was the last time she ate?"
Rosalie answered. "About four hours ago, when you first brought the bottle."
Carlisle chuckled once again. "So naturally, she's hungry. You see, she's just like any other baby her age—well size, I should say. Eating, sleeping, teething...defecating."
Edward pointedly rolled his eyes.
"Emmett," Carlisle called toward the direction of the kitchen. "Will you bring in the bottle?"
Emmett grumbled loudly as he entered the room, carrying a clear bottle filled with crimson liquid.
As soon as the baby smelled the contents, she stopped gnawing on Rosalie's arm. Instead, she began to shriek very loudly, sounding quite like wounded animal. She waved her arms frantically in the direction of the bottle and attempted to escape Rosalie's grasp, but she held the little demon tightly.
Emmett roughly handed the bottle to his wife and left immediately after. The child began to slurp the blood greedily as soon as the bottle touched her lips. She bit down on the nipple so violently that it tore, causing most of the contents to spill onto her small, pale chest. As soon as the bottle was empty, the baby began to lick the blood from itself. No vampire in the room dared to breathe; Edward rolled his eyes so dramatically that it was a wonder they didn't get stuck.
Moments later, the front flew open, revealing tiny Alice, laden with shopping bags.
"Still can't see anything because of that blasted baby," Alice moaned, rubbing her temples. "So I went shopping for a bit. Picked up a few things for the little demon."
No one objected to the nickname.
"Where's Jacob?" Alice wondered aloud as she unpacked her bags.
"Upstairs," answered Carlisle. "I had to give him some morphine to put him to sleep. Only way to keep him away from the baby. She nearly tore him apart, but he didn't even seem to notice. Strong power, that imprinting."
"Just should've let the thing kill him in my opinion," Edward mumbled so quietly that only Rosalie heard. She smirked, silently agreeing with him.
"Aha! Found it!" exclaimed Alice after rummaging through a great deal of bags. She easily tore through the packaging of the box to reveal a Barbie doll.
Edward coughed back a laugh, choking on some venom in the process.
"Every little girl loves Barbie," Alice explained as she handed the doll to the baby, who had begun to chew on Rosalie's arm once again.
The baby took one look at the doll, snatched it from Alice's hands, and with a sickening snap, tore the defenseless doll's head right from her neck. The baby let the body fall to the floor, but she held the decapitated head proudly, as though it were a trophy. Almost at once, she stuck it in her mouth. She pulled it out, revealing that she had chewed off all the hair.
"Well, you're certainly not getting anything else I've bought for you," huffed Alice crossly, stomping across the room and out the door. "I'm going shopping!" And then she was gone.
Carlisle, too, left the room, going up to check on both Bella and Jacob. That left only Edward and Rosalie once again.
"What will we tell Bella?" Rosalie asked anxiously.
Edward shrugged, imaging the pained look that would cross Bella's face when she found out her baby was a monster. "Maybe we could kill it and save her the agony."
Rosalie glared.
"Just a suggestion," murmured Edward, smiling slightly, letting Rosalie know it had been a joke, though, if she had a proper look into his mind, she would've seen that it was not.
"Carlisle said her mind should be maturing as well," Rosalie reminded him.
Edward chuckled darkly. "Well it better mature a lot more before Bella awakes."
"Look," whispered Rosalie, nodding toward the baby. "She's starting to fall asleep."
And so she had. She began to nod off in Rosalie's arms, head lolling to one side. The bald doll head silently fell to the ground.
"Don't you dare move," hissed Edward.
But Rosalie needn't be told twice; only an idiot would've dared to.
So should I continue this or not?