Author: DMartinez
Email: dmarttx
Disclaimer: Characters portrayed within belong to Kripke and the CW, WB. No infringement intended.
Rating: Mature Adult
Warnings: Miscarriage, Lost Virginity
Summary: Five Times Deana and Caleb slept together and the 1 time they couldn't.
Note: It's a SGU/SPN crossover if you squint, in which case it is pre-SGU and pre-SPN if Dean was Always a Girl and nearly everything happened exactly the same way.
Also playing a little fast and loose with Sgt. Spencer's age, possibly Caleb's as well.

Pairings: Caleb/Deana, Spencer/Deana

The Lightning Storm

1. The first time Caleb and Deana slept together

Caleb Spencer watched her for a long time from the warm side of the window, the smart side of the window in this weather. Little Deana Winchester sat on the old front porch and stared down the road. Not that she could see far with the rain coming down like the next Flood was imminent. "Mom, it's cold out. You don't think she should come in?"

"I tried." Kathy Spencer folded her arms over her chest where she stood in the middle of the kitchen. John Winchester was not her favorite of David's friends but she loved those Winchester kids. "Your dad said John's late."

"How late?" The 17 year old looked to his mother.

"He was supposed to be here this morning. He hasn't called." She held up a cup of hot chocolate. "She wouldn't take it from me. See if you can't work your Caleb magic on her?"

His mom was so weird. Well, weird for being a mom despite being an arms dealer. "What are you talking about?"

"Nothing." She shook her head as she touched the top of his head. The dark hair was already thinning on top like his dad's, like Jacob's had before he'd left home. "She's been following you around all week. Just see if you can't get her in a jacket and to drink something warm."

"Whatever." Caleb put on his jacket and took the cup outside. Deana was shivering but doggedly determined to keep her eyes on the road. "You cold?"

"No." It was the fiercest noise he'd ever heard come out of 10 year old.

"Want some hot chocolate?"

"No."

"Well, then. I'll just set it right here and watch it get cold. Mom made it with milk and not from a packet. It's pretty awesome." Caleb turned the cup around and around with the tips of his fingers.

"How do you make hot chocolate without a packet?" She frowned at him.

"Oh, I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill you."

"Caleb! Answer me." She whined.

"Taste it first. If you like it, I'll see if Mom won't part with her recipe." He took his hand off the cup and stared out into the rain. He couldn't really tell where the Earth began and the sky ended. It was a dreary day. It was days like these he wondered where his brother was. Was it raining there too? A minute later he heard the cup scrape on the little wooden table and a slurp-Ow because it was still really too hot to drink.

"It's pretty good. Dad uses too much water." Her voice was small in a way he'd never heard her use before. Deana Winchester was a pretty tough kid on a normal day.

"My Dad does too. Mom says it's a man thing. She always wanted a little girl so she could teach her how to make it. She could show you. Since… you know." Caleb caught her eye out of the corner of his.

"I don't think Dad would like that."

"Why not?"

She didn't answer him; just forged ahead with 10 year old incense. "And I'm not a little girl, anyway, Caleb Spencer."

"I apologize. I forgot you were 10 and could vote. Wait, no, you can't cause you're 10." He raised his eyebrows at her.

"Well, neither can you."

"For a year. How long until you can vote?"

"Shut up." She glared at him and took another drink from the cup. She shivered but didn't rub her arms or take her hands off the cup.

"You want my sweater?"

"Ugh. No." She made a face at him.

"If Sam were out here, shivering…"

"I'd make him put on a jacket." Her eyes were on her cup. "Or go inside."

"Look at that. Earth logic."

"But he's six and he has to listen to me. I don't have to listen to you." So much anger in a 10 year old. "You're not my dad or my brother."

Caleb sighed but shucked his jacket and pulled off his sweatshirt. He threw it over her head and put his jacket back on. "Maybe not but I've been assigned Deana duty today and if you freeze to death, it's my ass."

Reluctantly, she pulled the sweatshirt over her head. She drained the hot chocolate before it could cool too much. "Do you think he's okay?"

"John Winchester is bad ass. He's fine. It's raining. The phone lines could be down where he is. He's just… behind schedule." Caleb shivered a bit without his sweatshirt but he had the jacket. He was totally tougher than a 10 year old girl. "What do you think he'd say if you got sick because you were sitting outside in the cold while everyone else was inside and warm? Sam's taking a nap."

"He's gonna be pissed."

"So, let's go inside. Get some more hot chocolate and we'll see if we can't get a movie going." He held his hand up. "But only something you've already seen 900 times because when your dad shows up, we don't want you to miss the end of something you haven't seen. I won't have you whining to stay another hour to finish the movie, got it?"

She was torn. She really wanted to stay and watch for Dad but she was cold and the hot chocolate was good. "Will you watch it with me?"

"Absolutely." Caleb stood and grabbed the cup. "Come on, The Outlaw Josey Wales is waiting."

"How did you know I was gonna pick that one?" Deana scoffed and complained all the way to the kitchen.

Kathy had soup, more hot chocolate and warm bread waiting when they walked in. Caleb teased the little girl the whole while. Kathy watched the little girl and sighed. She'd always wanted a little girl. She'd been given two sons and the oldest was enlisted and overseas already. She missed her baby but he was done with their life. He had a better one, a legal one and the comfort of a family, of sorts, to take care of him. Uncle Sam better bring her boy home.

Sammy had his lunch with them. Caleb was so good with those kids. She really wished he had younger siblings. Then Caleb declared they were going to watch a movie. He hefted Deana onto his back. Sam ran after them. He returned half an hour later with a complaint. "They're watching a cowboy movie."

When Kathy checked on them later, Deana was sprawled across Caleb, asleep beneath a heavy blanket. When she reached to pick her up, Caleb shook his head and then pointed to the little fists clutching his shirt. "I'm okay. She's sleeping."

"Okay. Call me if you need something." Then she pointed at the TV. "You want me to change the movie?"

"No, it's keeping her asleep."

"You're going to make a great father someday, Caleb Spencer."

"Shut up, Mom. I took care of one kid for one day."

"Remember that sentence when you've got kids."

Caleb woke when a shadow blocked the light from the TV. John Winchester. "Caleb, this will probably be the last time I get to let you off for sleeping with my daughter. Enjoy it."

Yeah, John Winchester was a scary motherfucker. Caleb swallowed down a lump despite the fact this was clearly an innocent sort of sleeping. "Either this or she froze her toes off outside waiting for you."

"Thanks, kid." John hefted Deana into his arms.

Deana's eyes opened for a second and she smiled. "Daddy."

"Yeah, baby, I'm back. Let's get a move on." John took Sam's hand and turned to the Spencers. "I appreciate the help. Hard to know who to trust these days."

"You find her, John?" Kathy asked.

"No, she was long gone by the time I got back there but…" John trailed off. "The poor woman has no clue what's been going on all year."

"John, I'm sorry."

"I got my kids. We'll be fine."

2. The Second time Caleb sleeps with Deana isn't by choice.

Deana held the door open and her father walked in dragging a body behind him. "Dad?"

"It's Caleb, werewolf got him. Then a boulder and then the cold. We gotta get him warm but stitched up first." John hefted the young man onto the kitchen table. Deana ran for the first aid kit. He was tearing the clothes off him and looked to his 15 year old daughter when he started yanking at the young man's fly. "In this life… there's no time for blushing. Got it?"

"Yes, sir." Then she helped strip Caleb down to his skivvies. She grabbed a blanket for standby until after they sewed up his ribs and legs. John took the legs, she took the ribs and then they took a look at the knot on his head. She bandaged him up and tossed the blanket over him when the shakes started. "How long in the cold?"

"A while."

She set water to boil and sent her father off to shower off his cold. She got water bottles and towels and set them on his head and chest. "Caleb? You gonna wake up for me? Huh? Got a copy of Josey…"

She tested his temperature and tried to carefully dry him off where she could. Skin color was pale but intact. No blue or black areas. "Daddy!"

"He still breathing?"

"Yeah!"

"Then he's okay." A few minutes later, John reemerged in sweats and carrying an extra set. He looked over her work. "Not bad. How's his temp?"

"Still low. Too low."

"Alright. Let's get him dressed and into bed." John did the honors of shedding the man's underwear but needed help to get him into the sweats. Together, they dumped him in Deana's bed. "Coffee."

She got the pot going and poured cups for herself and her father. She got him warm but Caleb was still cold. She reheated the bottles and tucked them into all the important places. "Caleb, man, you gotta warm up."

"Get the vents wide open, crank the heat." John ordered as he checked the young man. "He lost a lot of blood. He may not have enough to warm."

"I could always try body heat."

"That's not… a real thing."

"Dad." She stared at him. "You want to tell Corporal Spencer his brother is dead because you didn't want his unconscious brother touching your daughter?"

"Hop in."

Deana took a breath and stripped out of her sweater and down to a thin T-shirt and her underwear. "No time for blushing, right Daddy?"

"Right, baby."

She slipped under the blankets and almost cried. "He is so cold."

"That's not good, we might have to take him in." John frowned at the bed. Kathy and David would haunt him if he let their son die so soon after they had died. It'd only been a couple of years. This kid was barely drinking age.

"Give me that water bottle." She motioned and tucked it down between his legs, then another on his chest. She laid against him and wrapped her arms around his belly. "We'll get him warm and we'll send him home."

"Good. I don't to have that conversation with Jacob. He's not nearly as nice as Caleb."

She frowned into the blanket. "I don't remember Jacob."

"He's already off at boot camp before we met the Spencers, I think." He shrugged. "I met him once when he was home on leave. I'm glad to have him working for Uncle Sam inside of the enemy. Maybe I saw him when we buried their folks."

"When you used to leave us there, I'd make Caleb watch The Outlaw Josey Wales over and over and over again. Never complained."

"He was always a good kid."

"He'll wake up, Dad."

"Yeah. You want more coffee?"

"Yeah, please." She nodded and slipped her hands under Caleb's sweatshirt. She rubbed her knuckles over his chest. When the door shut she turned her face to the pale man. "You can't die on me. I've been in love with you since I was 9. If I don't get the chance… I'll kill you myself." Gently, she moved and kissed his cold mouth. "This one doesn't count. I want a real one later."

John watched them sleep. The young man was slowing pinking up. Every so often, he nudged Deana and she'd check the temperature on the water bottles and pull them out for reheats. It was near dawn when the blue eyes opened. Deana had fallen asleep.

"Caleb." John moved over to the bed. "Don't move, son."

"Where am I?"

"My daughter's bed but you get a pass because she was willing to save your life by personally seeing you hit a normal temperature. I do believe this will be the last pass I give you."

John Winchester was a scary motherfucker. "Right. We get it?"

"Yeah, you did. Then you fell. Hard. Got a concussion so don't move. Rain got you good." John stood. "I'll get you some coffee, something to eat. Let her sleep. She was worried about you."

"Got it." Caleb sighed and closed his eyes for a long moment. How old was Deana now? Were those… boobs? He peeked beneath the covers and found her mostly dressed. He removed the room temperature bottles of water and set them on the night stand. He kissed the top of her head. "You never change, Deana. Keep falling asleep on top of me."

3. The first time Caleb wanted to sleep with Deana was her first time, period.

Caleb passed the beers out and turned to the driveway when he heard the car. "That John?"

"Said he was coming." Jefferson nodded.

The car pulled to a stop behind the others and all four doors opened. Three Winchesters and a Singer. Caleb watched the passenger side a few minutes longer than he should have. And he remembered; Deana was 17 this trip. "Whoa…"

"Caleb! You got enough beer for us too?" John called out.

"Come on over! We're enjoying the night." Caleb nodded and flipped open the cooler. "Sam! You're getting tall."

"Taller than Deana." The 13 year old laughed and shook hands with Caleb.

"Shut up!" Deana slugged Sam in the shoulder then reached for a beer. Caleb held it just out of her reach. "Caleb, come on."

"John?" Caleb tore his eyes off her to look at the eldest Winchester.

"Let her have one. She bagged a werewolf last week." John clapped her on the shoulder. "She's been milking it for all its worth ever since."

"It was a good kill." She grinned and sipped her beer. "One bullet. Bitch went down."

Grown up Deana regaled the circle on all sorts of tales of teenaged monster hunting. They had some laughs. Sam left them to it to find a bed inside. Deana helped Caleb gather the loose cans and bottles to toss when the men went inside in search of stew. He had set the lid on the dumpster when he turned and found her right there. "You look good, Deana."

"Oh, so you do have eyes." She grinned at him.

He chuckled uncomfortably, his eyes on the ground. "I have a… healthy fear for my life."

"Daddy don't have to know. Besides you owe me."

"I do." He lifted his eyes to her face. "How's that?"

"Yes, your life for my dignity. I stripped to my underwear in front of my dad before getting into that bed to save your life." She stepped up and realized she was just too short for words to explain properly. "I think a kiss will do it."

"Wow. That's the price you put on my life." Caleb laughed nervously. John Winchester was a scary motherfucker but Deana was all kinds of scary right this second.

"Yes. Seeing how you were unconscious for the first kiss I gave you."

"You were molesting me in my hypothermia?" He laughed but he remembered waking up to 15 year old breasts pressed against his chest. It could have been worse. He could have woken up next to John.

"Not exactly and you didn't complain."

"I believe I was concussed and unconscious."

"Well… you're not now."

"Do you want your dad to kill me? He's already given me two passes on this. I'm not gonna try for a third." He tried to back up but there was really no place to go.

"Two?"

"Come on, it's starting to rain." He gestured her toward the house.

"I want my kiss, first." She tilted her head back.

John was going to kill him. His hand slipped behind her neck. "Will you go inside once I do?"

"Yes."

It was just going to be a quick kiss but he almost fell when he bent his head and then his tongue was in her mouth and he wasn't sure he wasn't already a dead man. Then her hands were sliding up his chest. He had to pull away. "Oh shit, I'm in trouble."

"Not yet you're not." She panted into his neck. "I think I'd know if you were in me." Then she was off and running for the house. Caleb followed a little slower. He shucked his boots and flannel at the door and ran upstairs to change his pants.

They got a poker game going which was hard to concentrate on once Deana stripped her wet flannel. Blonde hair and green eyes and bright wide smile. John kicked her out of the game when she took everyone's money. So she sat and leaned on the table to watch them play. With her cleavage resting on the table. Caleb lost so much money.

"Beer's out!" Bobby called from the fringe.

"I got more in the basement." Caleb tossed his cards down. Then he found Deana had joined him. He tried to get the cases out as quickly as he could but then he found himself sitting on a box of ammo with a petite Winchester on his lap. "Deana. You're going to get me killed."

"Not if you keep running away."

"Who ran outside?" He was so dead. John was going to find them and then he'd kill Caleb and who was going to tell Jacob that Caleb traded his life for the sweet, sweet tits of Winchester's little girl?

"Oh, so, you do want me."

"I walked right into that one."

"Yeah, but you were also staring at my tits all night."

"It doesn't take this long to get beer."

"Fine. Buzzkill."

Caleb watched her go and had to breathe for a minute before he could grab the cases from the fridge. John was at the top of the stairs when he got there. He took the cases and glanced behind him but didn't say anything. He waited a beat before following the beer and John to the kitchen where Deana popped up with her hair down and her shirt unbuttoned just a bit.

They kept playing poker until they started dropping like flies. Then there were bodies everywhere. Caleb took the last beer to the basement to crash out on the couch. He should have known it wasn't going to be easy.

Shirt off and head pillowed on a rucksack, he took a breath and shut his eyes. A few minutes later he heard the basement door shut and lock. Reaching for a gun, he opened his eyes to find that the steps were feather light on the stairs. Then there she was. She stole his beer and straddled his lap. "Hey."

"Hey."

"You weren't… sleepy, were you?"

"Little bit." He took his beer back. "I'm a little old for you."

"Not so much." She smiled and ground down against him as she bent to take his mouth. His hands found her thighs. He just held on while she moved her mouth down his neck to his chest. Her fingers raked through the hair on his chest before finding his scalp with its thinning hair. She sat up and pulled her shirt off. Her breasts slid against his chest, he hand to touch them. There was just no way he couldn't. Small, firm, tipped with tight pink buds.

When she stood to take off her pants, Caleb tried to clear his head but he was shoving his pants down and he was hard enough that he'd need to have release. It just made sense that if he was gonna do it, he should do it with someone who wanted the attention. Sure. That made sense.

He watched her take a breath as she looked him over. "Deana, you okay?"

"Yeah." She nodded but kept staring at him.

Fuck. "We don't have to. I'm okay if you've changed your mind."

"No. I didn't." She shook her head and swung her leg over him. "I need… um…"

"What?" he sat up and took her face in his hands. He kissed her lips and she started to relax. "What's going on?"

"It's nothing." She turned until she was laying back and he slipped between her legs. "Caleb?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you really want to do this with me or did I bully you?"

He laughed. "As big and mean a bully as you are, I assure that I could take you if I needed to."

"Caleb…"

"You're beautiful." He kissed her mouth and stopped her hesitations. He slipped a hand between her legs and got her ready. She was so warm and tight. "You tell me if you don't want to. I'll stop."

"Don't… don't stop." She licked her lips and held onto his shoulders as his fingers slipped in and out of her. He kissed her mouth, her neck, tasted her breasts. Her hips bucked up under him. "Caleb, please."

He gripped himself and slid himself against her, getting slick and making himself breathe. He pushed the tip in and she was so hot, so tight. "Shit." Then he pushed in and buried his face in her skin. Felt her hands grasping at his back. "You feel so good."

Her eyes were shut but she was pulling at him, gripping him, urging him on. He thrust into a rhythm. He gripped her thigh in his hand, brushed her hair back off her face. She didn't make any noise, for which he was grateful, but she looked like she was whispering. "Deana? You okay?"

"Yes, yes. Yes." She nodded and pulled him close. "You feel so good inside me."

He shoved his hips against hers again and again. The couch moved and he moved slower for a moment. Kissing her mouth and touching her skin and every inch of her feeling so good. Then her lips moved faster. "omigod,omigod,omigod."

"You close? Hmm? Deana? You almost there?" He reached between them and rubbed and her folds until he found her clit and concentrated on that tight little bundle of nerves. Her hips bucked under him. He felt her clamp down around him. She buried her mouth in his bicep and he felt the noise she didn't want to make. That let him finish at his leisure. They were sweaty and breathing hard and grinding against each other. She grabbed his head and kissed him hard. "You're welcome."

"Shut up." She laughed and rolled her hips, blowing a breath out.

He shifted their bodies so that he could lay with her trapped between him and the back of the couch. His hand ran up and down her thigh, cupped her ass and frowned. Her ass was wet. Really wet. "Deana?"

"What?"

He lifted his hand, it was covered in blood. "Are you cut?"

"Fuck." She hung her mouth and sighed. "No."

"Where did all this come from?" He stared at her face, she raised her eyebrows and made a face. "Deana." She opened her mouth to speak and then shook her head. "Was this your first time?"

"Maybe." She raised her eyes to his forehead. "I mean, yes, technically."

"Fuck." He looked down between them and they were just… covered in blood. "Why didn't you say something? I would've…"

"Stopped?" She supplied. "I'm okay. I'm fine. I'm great actually."

"I would've… fuck. Shit." Caleb looked down at her. "It could've been someone else."

"Who? Who do I know that well, Caleb?" She met his eyes finally. "I needed it to be you." She kissed his lips. "You mad?"

"No… I'm surprised… A little flattered." His chest unclenched when she laughed. "I could've campaigned to get my bed away from Sam. There's a shower in there. I got a hose down here."

"I didn't think I'd bleed like that. I've heard girls break it riding bikes. I'm running from werewolves and falling on logs and dodging spirits." She shrugged. "It barely hurt."

"That's not what you should say."

"I am so sorry. It hurts. Even now. I'm gonna hurt next week."

"Yes, that's better."

They laughed and Deana leaned her head on his. "Is this gonna be awkward? I didn't want it to be awkward."

"It's gonna be okay. It's not the end of the world but right now. We need to wash."

"Caleb?"

"Yeah."

"I'm glad it was you."

4. The First time it was wasn't a secret

The Impala pulled in and Caleb rushed to lock up the barn. He hadn't been expecting any Winchesters. When he got to the car, Deana was pulling her father out of the backseat. "Caleb, I'm sorry we didn't call. You were the closest and I was wa… I was…"

She started to cry so Caleb slung John over his shoulder and hoisted him up to make the walk to the house. Deana cleared the kitchen table and immediately tackled the clothes that were in the way. Caleb grabbed his first aid kit and got to work.

"It was… a Rawhead. I got it but I didn't know it tossed Dad into some… rusty shit that was down in that basement." She tried to breathe but she'd been driving for an hour in a panic.

"Where's your brother?" Caleb cleaned the wound and got the needle ready.

"You didn't hear?" She started crying all over again. "He fuckin' left us. He ran away from home. Dad's been drinking and then this hunt went bad."

"Did you save the kids?"

"Yes."

"Then buck up. Dad will make it." He flushed the wound the best he could before stitching him up. Deana had to hold John down when he started to come around. Then Caleb passed the whiskey around. They left John on the table to keep from moving him too much. Deana shucked her bloody clothes and stood in the middle of the kitchen dripping from the shower she'd taken in the sink. In bra and panties, she was chugging whiskey from the bottle. Caleb brought her shirt. She stayed next to John for a long time just watching him sleep and getting drunker. He didn't know what else to do.

"Come on." He grabbed her hand. "He'll be fine."

"Where are we going?"

"Upstairs for once."

"You hot for me baby?" She slurred. He picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. "Kinky." She slapped his ass.

He set her on his bed and she just flopped backward. Asleep. He laughed and lay out next to her. He woke in early morning when the shower was running. "Deana?"

"You up?" She called back.

"Yeah."

"Did we fuck?"

"Not last night."

"Okay." There was the sound of the water shutting off and she appeared in a towel. "You want to?"

"Your dad is passed out on my kitchen table."

"He'll live. You want a blow job for your trouble?" She sauntered over to the bed. "Why in the hell did you start shaving your head?"

"If you want me to get it up, we cannot talk about my bald head."

"So, you're game." She grinned and dropped the towel. "Oops."

Caleb held her hips when she straddled him. She looked so much different from the 17 year old who had lost her virginity on his basement couch. She was nearly 25 now. Self-possessed and strong. She rubbed and kissed his chest, working his cock with her hand. "You're hairy."

"What?"

"You're a hairy dude. Were you this hairy the last time we fucked?"

"I don't know. Are you still drunk?"

"Maybe." She lifted herself up and sank down on him with a moan. "I mean, you're hot. Like seriously hot but… Oh… fuck. Oh Fuck."

Deana leaned forward to kiss his mouth and get leverage to keep the rhythm. Caleb got his mouth on her breasts, held her ass in his hands. "You feel so good."

"Sit up." She grabbed the back of his neck. She bit her lip when their new position made her sink between his thighs a bit. She leaned back and ground down on him. "Why are you so hot?"

"Excuse me?" He started laughing.

"I don't know. You just… you turn me on just by existing." She panted and thrust against him.

"Are you always this chatty during sex?"

"No. I don't know. I don't hand comment cards or nothing." She lifted off and he groaned. "Don't worry. I'm just… turning around." She turned knelt and slid backward until she was flush against him. His hand guided her down onto his cock once more. She pushed off her hands and started moving again. "I can't look at you too long. I start getting blinded. Forget what I'm doing."

Caleb pulled her back against him, kissed her shoulder, reached around to squeeze her breasts. "If you think I'm so hot. Why don't you ever stop by?"

"How many girlfriends you got, hot stuff? Hmmm?"

"Who says I have any?"

"Oh. Oh." She moaned when his hand slipped between her legs and started rubbing at her clit. "Caleb. Caleb. Caleb." She trembled on top of him. He thrust up into her. "Right there. Yes. Yes. CalebCaleb."

He held her against him until they were both still. Caleb lay them both on the bed. He stared down at her. "You're crazy."

"Yes. I am. Also a little hung over." She ran a hand down his chest. "I don't normally like chest hair but I love yours."

"Good to know."

"You really don't have any girlfriends? That makes me really sad."

"Why?"

"I could have made so many excuses to run through."

"I heard your dad's beaten a few heads in over you."

"Years ago. Maybe I find some reasons to run through."

"Deana!" The call came through the door. "If you're through, I need help with these bandages. Who the fuck did this? A monkey?"

"Coming!" Deana laughed into Caleb's chest then yanked one of shirts over her head. She kissed his mouth. "He won't kill you, I promise."

5. The last time Caleb slept with Deana

It was two days into their fourth fuckathon of the year that Caleb realized Deana was sick and she had passed her plague onto him. She apologized and apologized but they were stuck horizontal and not in any of the good ways. It was two days after that that Deana was frowning at her phone every 20 minutes.

The Outlaw Josey Wales didn't hold her attention very long. She kept checking her phone. Caleb's head felt like a balloon but he asked. "Who are you waiting to call you?"

"I was only supposed to be here three days. Dad knew that. He hasn't called. I'm a day late checking in."

"So, check in."

"But he hasn't called. He would have called yesterday."

"Maybe he's sick in bed like we are." He shut his eyes and listened to Josey Wales arguing with Lone Watie.

"Maybe." She settled back against him. "I'm having some déjà vu. When did we watch this together?"

He laughed and kissed her head. "You were 10. It was the only way I could get you inside the house. You were freezing your toes off waiting for your… for your dad to come home."

"Oh. Right."

"He said it was the last time I'd get a pass for sleeping with you."

"How old were you?"

"17." He took a breath. "He's given me a few more passes since that. I reckon he likes me."

"Yeah. He likes you fine." She snuggled into his chest. "I could get used to this."

"Then get used to it. I could do with having a woman around. Gets lonely with all these guns."

"Just any woman?"

"Nah. I like your tits. They're shaped like lemons."

"Lemons, huh."

"Lemons."

Deana shut her eyes and fell asleep. Caleb wanted to keep her. It made her smile. She woke to silence. Caleb's shirt was soaked in sweat and her face was damp. She was dizzy and maybe it was from all the tea and not real food. She tried to settle back in but she was definitely feeling the need to throw up.

She barely made it to the trashcan in the kitchen. She rinsed her mouth out and returned to nudge Caleb. "I'm gonna go run the shower. Let's go to bed."

She had her teeth brushed by the time he reached the bedroom. They showered and changed the sheets and fell asleep for nearly a day. It took a week to recover for Caleb but Deana was still throwing up. All other plague symptoms had cleared up.

"I gotta find Dad." She set her phone down. "He's not answering."

"You're 26. It's your decision." He reminded her.

"I'm worried.

"Well, you know where I stand on things."

"That wasn't just a flu-induced notion?"

"I mean, Deana, I like having you around. Even if you do bring the plague with you." He kissed her mouth and threw the sheets back. "What you got now? Stomach bug?"

"Shut up. Let me go get Sam and we'll find Dad and I'll be back." She finally crawled out of bed to find her underwear.

"Hey Deana?" Caleb turned to her. "Maybe you go see a doctor before you hit the road?"

"I'm fine." She shook her head at him. Then rushed to throw up. After she'd brushed her teeth, she shrugged at him. "Maybe I will."

"Will you call me when you… get the result?"

"Yeah sure." She grabbed her bag and stuffed her clothes in it. She sat on the edge of the bed. "I can't be, Caleb."

"Can't be what?"

"Pregnant. I'm on the pill. We've been doing this all year. I'd be…"

"Three months."

"I haven't missed any periods."

"You're late."

"What? I'm not."

"You are."

She counted on her fingers. She was. "That's just cause we've been sick and we haven't been eating." She looked up at him when he was dressed and standing in front of her. "I can't be."

"Why can't you?"

"I can't."

"You can't with me or you can't."

"The second one." She shook her head. "I can't bring kids into this life."

"Go find your Dad. Call me."

Deana nodded and set out for California. She called Dad every stop she made. Even the one where she sat in the women's room and stared at the plus sign on the test she'd taken. Even from the rest stop where she'd made Sam pull over after they'd left for Colorado from Palo Alto. There was so much blood. When she called Caleb, she got his voicemail. "Sweetie… I was… I'm not anymore… I wish I was with you. I… I can't talk to anyone else about it. Call me? Please. I know how it sounded and… Caleb, I miss you."

6. The time it was almost Caleb but it couldn't have been.

Deana picked him up in a bar in Colorado. He had familiar blue eyes and freckles on his cheekbones. He was big and strong and bald. She'd brushed Sam off and disappeared with the guy. She didn't want to think about her deal. She just wanted some sex.

When he took his shirt off, dog tags clinked against his chest. She started laughing. He frowned. "What?"

"Nothing. My daddy was a Marine." She shook her head and shucked her jeans. "You a good soldier?"

"I am." He nodded, less eager than before.

"What I like to hear. Come on over." She yanked her shirt over her head.

He laid on top of her and if she squinted, he looked like her Caleb. If Caleb spent every waking moment working out, which he hadn't. She tried not to think too much of Caleb. He'd been gone a year, just a few days longer than Dad. Just a fading memory now. She had a year left.

Afterward, she laid with the soldier and just breathed in the cool quiet night air. He had a scar on his ribs from shrapnel, it looked like. If she squinted, they could be werewolf claws. She noted the balding pattern in the stubble on his head. He was a little hairy, the way Caleb had been.

He pulled out a cigarette and offered her a puff. Why not? She was going to hell anyway. "You from these parts?"

"Not really. Born in Kansas. You?" She puffed and cleared her throat against the cough.

"Nebraska."

"What are you… never mind. Stationed here, right?"

He took it back and took a long drag. "Temporarily. They're going to send me out again."

"Know where?"

"Need to know." He put the cigarette back in her hand.

"Ah." She took a drag on the cigarette and passed it back.

"You said your dad was a Marine?"

"Served his tour in Vietnam. He died… a year ago on Thursday."

"Sorry to hear, that why you're drowning your sorrows on a Monday?" He dragged on the cigarette then put out the butt in the ashtray.

"I don't want to talk about that. Why are you drowning your sorrows on a Monday?"

"Lots of things." His smile was tight. She didn't like that.

Deana crawled on top of him and tasted the smoke on his lips. He let her set the pace and she made him feel good. She could tell by the smile on his face when she swung off him again. She ran her hand through the hair on his chest. "You remind me a lot of a guy I used to know."

"Good guy or bad guy?"

"Depends on who you talked to. I thought he was a good guy." She flicked one of his nipples. "He was from Nebraska, too." She picked up his tags and frowned at them. "Spencer?"

"Sergeant Jacob Spencer. At your service." He grinned a little.

"Oh fuck." She dropped them and sank back onto the bed with her hands over her face. He was leaning over her when she pulled her hands down. "You're Caleb's brother, aren't you?"

He laughed to himself. "Small world. How's he doing?"

Then she started crying. "You don't know?"

"Know what?"

"Caleb was murdered last year. A year ago today." She got up and started grabbing her clothes. She stared at him. "I'm sorry. I figured someone would call you."

"I've been… out of pocket." He stared at his knees. "A year?"

"Yeah."

"How did you know him?"

"I was… I don't know what we were. We were gonna try to be something and then the world went to hell and I didn't even get to explain to him before he died." She wiped at her face. He looked at him. He was hard to read. "Caleb was special to me. I wanted what he wanted badly… just not badly enough and then it was too late."

His jaw was set he breathed out harshly. "Was it the guns?"

She lied. "Yes."

"That's why I left. Now… I'm going… only Uncle Sam knows where and there's… no one left to give a shit about me."

"I'm sorry."

"I'd…"

"I know. I'm going." Deana got her boots on and looked at him. "He looked… just like you. He missed you but he never… never talked about you since your parents passed."

"Guns killed my whole family. I'm a Marine. Gun's gonna kill me, too."

The End