Ange
Author's Note: The -'s mark the beginning
and end of the flashback. The story and characters of Flame of Recca are
not mine, and the only purpose of this story is to entertain...or more
likely depress. Everything except for the flashbacks, they're inner thoughts,
in first person perspective. Pardon the inconsistencies of the story (are
there actually boars in Japan? who says they had to be in Japan at that
time...) but I couldn't exactly ask around at the time, since if I had
asked, then you would know it was me who wrote this, then where would we
be?
Falling.
What
is
happening?
I'm
falling...into
eternity?
I feel...nothing.
Like
I'm
wrapped
in
a silken
cocoon,
safe
from
everything,
Like
a child
in
a mother's
womb...
But that's a lie! Never in my life
have I ever felt that way! Not one single moment, did I feel that security.
All I've ever experienced was pain. Suffering. Endless agony.
What is happening? Why am I thinking
like this? I'm enveloped in darkness. Where am I? What happened?
Bullets...whizzing through the air
like merciless blurs of hatred. Cutting through me, and all that crimson
blood...and then falling...and sinking...into oblivion.
Does that mean...I am dead? Strange
I never imagined death to be like this. I always thought...after all that
I had done, I would be fated to be damned and to burn in hell. Away from
my sweet rose. I always feared this death, because I knew that in it...she
and I would never be together.
I like this better somehow. No pain.
nothing but this blessed numbness.
Raiha...Neon...Joker...I wonder how
they are now. Do they know I am gone? Will they continue to work for Mori
Kouran? They are all that is left of my Uruha...the only thing that was
ever mine.
How strange. Shouldn't I be seeing
some sort of light now? Maybe dead relatives beckoning to me? I guess not.
I suppose that only works for people going to heaven. Was that...what my
mother saw when she died?
My mother. Bitterness swamped me,
as I dimly registered with surprise that I could still feel. My mother.
I don't even know how she died. Did she die during the attack on the village?
Was she trapped in the pathetic excuse for a house we had, dying in flames...flames
I could control and produce? Or was she pierced by the arrow or a sword
of an enemy? Or did she even live to the attack? They kept everything from
me, those Hokage ninjas. They never told me how you were. Damn them. They
all hated you mother. Hated us. For what? For that mistake Recca's birth?
Because he was born and had the flame...it made me worthless. I was nothing...you
were nothing. They hated us, despised us, loathed the very sight of us.
Worse...that whore of Ohka's...she pitied us. But that didn't matter mother.
I had you, you cared for me, and with you I never felt like I was nothing.
I wasn't the evil child, the one who was to be the next leader but was
found unworthy for that position. I was only Kurei, your son.
----------
A stone hit the five-year-old boy's
temple, causing blood to trickle from the point of impact. "If it isn't
our future leader." an eight-year-old boy sneered at the younger child.
"Oh I forgot. You were found unworthy. The demon-child who would have led
us to our downfall!" The other children around him started to laugh. Laugh
so hard that Kurei began to imagine that they would explode from it. He
could only hope. He turned and tried to leave, but another boy, this time
nine years of age, grabbed his collar and hurled him on the ground. "Where
do you think you're going, we're not done with you yet!" he said to him,
his voice reflecting his glee at his victim. The child only turned his
head away and started to get up again. The older boy grew angry. "Think
you're too good for us, eh demon-child?" He grabbed Kurei's arm and yanked
at it roughly, sending his fist into his cheek. The other boy bit his lip
so as not to cry out of pain. Why did they do this? He once asked his mother.
"It's because they envy us Kurei."
Reina knelt before him and wrapped her arms around his bruised, skinny
frame. It pained her to see her beloved son, with cuts and bruises all
over his body, trying to hide his pain from showing in his eyes. And she
could do nothing for him. She could not even support herself anymore. She
could not feed him, his clothes were worn and torn. Hatred flowed through
her, her lips tightening as she embraced the feeling that had already become
her constant companion through the days. She could only offer her precious
child advice and her love. "Kurei, we used to be Ohka's family. We had
everything they wanted, respect and a life so much better than theirs."
She said to him, looking deep into his eyes so that he may learn this lesson
well. "But since Kagerou...and that bastard child came, we have been cast
out. And now...and now they look down on us, the people they once envied...because
they feel better...and superior by putting down the people whom they hated.
They could not put us down then...we were somebody! But now...now they
think they can." She spoke to him urgently now. "Kurei. Remember this.
They may think they are superior to us, but we will always, always be better
than them! Never forget that Ku-" she broke off into a fit of coughs. Kurei
began to worry. His mother was ill. Very ill. But nobody in the village
cared.
One particularly painful blow forced
Kurei out of his thoughts, as he curled up his body to defend himself from
the punches and kicks. Even the young girls were taunting him. But he would
endure it all. He was better than them. He was better than these children
who called him a demon, yet failed to see that they themselves were the
evil. His ears caught a statement from what looked like a ten-year-old
boy. "If he's a demon then what is his mother? A witch?" The children laughed
uproariously at that. His blood surging fiercely, Kurei shot up with a
speed that startled all and tackled the one who had insulted his mother.
"DON'T YOU EVER TALK ABOUT HER THAT WAY!" Kurei screamed at him, his face
showing his great fury. He fisted his hand and slammed it into the older
boy's face. The children started shouting and he could hear some of the
girls crying and running away. "Mommy, mommy! The demon child is going
crazy and attacking us! Help us!"
Two hands grabbed him and pulled
him off the other boy as he struggled fiercely against the hands, he clawed
at them, trying to make them let go. "Ow! The demon brat is hurting me!"
A voice above him shouted in pain. 'Good. Feel it, the pain you all inflict
on me, on my mother' he thought, as he fought savagely. He was thrown roughly
onto the dusty ground, his breath knocked out of him by the force of the
throw and his landing. "Damned demon. I'll beat the evil out of you." and
the pain roared up at him again, red light flashing before his eyes, then
black.
The boy stirred to consciousness
and he slowly stood up, trying not to cry from the pain all over his body.
"Don't think you're so high and mighty anymore. You're not going to be
our leader, Recca is." he heard one of the children still there mutter.
He ignored them as he slowly walked back to the ramshackle pile of wood
they called his house. He swayed with each step as he struggled to remain
conscious. 'I won't let them see I'm weak.' he thought, somewhat surprised
he still had the strength to have any conviction in anything. 'I'm better
than them. Better than them. Better than them." Only this thought kept
him standing, giving him the fuel he needed for this hatred that was now
burning inside of him. The seed of hatred Reina had planted within him.
"
"I don't want your food or your pity!
Leave me alone Kagerou!" he heard his mother shout. Kurei stopped and gazed
at his mother, who was glaring at the other woman standing in front of
her. She threw down the food and turned away. The other woman, who Kurei
knew to be Kagerou, turned and walked away herself, her face showing sadness.
"Sad? Why is she sad?" he whispered to himself. He walked into his house
and saw his mother was bent over, coughing. She seemed to be whispering
something to herself and for a few moments Kurei just stood there, looking
at her, the one person who had loved him, the one person who thought he
was worth something. "Mother." he said, Reina turned and walked towards
him. Tears slid down her face as her body was bent forward, her hands holding
his shoulders. "She may pretend to want to help me but I know...but I know
that inside...she pities me! Pities me!" Reina sobbed. "Me! We would have
had a bright future. You would have been the next leader of the Hokage
clan...if Recca hadn't been born...you wouldn't have had to suffer." she
started to laugh hysterically. "All I ever wanted was for you to have a
good future. But no, Kagerou had to take that from me." her body trembled
as her laughter dissolved into coughs. "Recca should never have been born."
'Recca? If Recca hadn't been born...mother
wouldn't have to suffer?' Kurei thought. "Mother." his quiet voice made
Reina lift her head and look at him. "If Recca was dead...we wouldn't have
to be in so much hardship?" Kurei asked. Reina bowed her head and nodded.
And the boy knew what he had to do. For his mother's sake.
----------
What is this? What is this pain stabbing
into me? I want to curl up my body like I did...when I was a child but
i can't. Why does it hurt so much? Why does life always have to be so hard
for me? Will pain always be my constant companion? Why couldn't they just...leave
me alone?
Recca's face...blurring. A baby,
sleeping quietly. Flashes of red, a blade raised in darkness. Screams.
Being taken away. Mother it hurts...mother I'm so afraid. Why are they
taking me away? Where are you mother? I'm trapped, I can't get out of this...this
cage they put me in. Are you alright mother? Are you alright? Are you still
sick? Who is taking care of you mother? MOTHER!
----------
The boy was running. Running through
the streets, trying to avoid the two men chasing after him. What kind of
men were they? They wanted a boy? But didn't men want girls, and not young
boys? What did they want with him. His face was flushed from exertion,
his heart pounding from fear. He could remember another time when he felt
like this. He was trapped, and not in an open space. Fire raged all around
him as he screamed for help. But no one came. No one heard. A piece of
burning wood fell from the roof towards the frightened boy. He screamed
and his hand was out to cover his face. 'I'm going to die.' the boy thought.
'Will it hurt? Mother? Will it hurt?"
"HELP ME!" the scream was torn from
his throat as he felt the heat of the flames near his face. But the flame
never touched him. is own flame...a dark color, not the brilliant red of
the fire that threatened to kill him. His flame had protected him.
A twig snapped behind the boy, very
close. Terrified the boy poured more speed into his running. He could hear
the men's heavy breathing, as clearly as he could hear his own. They were
coming close. He saw a street and without looking, darted across it, when
a horn sounded, shattering the quiet of the night. Momentarily the boy
was blinded by lights, but the boy caught the frightened face of the driver
who swerved to avoid him...but too late. The car slammed into the body
of young Kurei, sending him through the night air. 'At least...death would
hurt less than life.' was his final thought before he plunged into the
velvety embrace of darkness.
----------
I thought that was the end of it,
the end of a life that was filled with nothing but pain. But it wasn't.
It was the end of my life as Kurei, the forsaken son of Ohka, the demon
child, the one with the cursed flame. And it was the beginning of my life
as Kurei, son of Tsukino and Mori Kouran. Tsukino. Tsukino loved me. She
raised me like I was truly her own child. It was their car that had hit
me. And Tsukino brought me to her home, and cared for me. But Mori...Mori
was a different story. Whenever I was around him, I always felt that he
didn't see me as a human being. He only saw me...as maybe a puppy his wife
had found lost in the rain, and brought home, but had to be put down. Or
maybe even less than that. I don't think I was ever a living being to him.
I was an it. I think he was only calculating my worth in the future. I
never loved him, not the way I cared for Tsukino. In fact...I think I hate
him. But not back then. I was still so young. And i only feared him.
