Yeoman Kelly Chambers loved her job aboard the SSV Normandy.
Traveling the galaxy, aiding humanity's greatest hero, and hearing stories from the most unusual and dangerous crew ever assembled on one starship. It was an adventure most girls could never even dream of experiencing, and she had been living it for over five months now.
However, today would present adventure and danger even she wasn't prepared for.
The tech lab's chrome doors slid open. Mordin Solus, the ship's scientist, scanned the bridge frantically. Soon, his wide black eyes landed on Kelly working at her terminal. He moved toward her quickly. Before she could even greet the salarian, he began talking.
"Yeoman Chambers, yes? Have a matter to discuss with you. Regarding Commander Shepard." Mordin said.
She was a bit taken aback by the quick start of the conversation, but figured a talk about her boss would be important. Especially if it took a salarian out of a lab.
"Sure, I have time. What do you need, Dr. Solus?" Kelly replied.
Mordin gave a small smile before he started talking again. "Know you have an understanding of Shepard. Not of his ability in combat or his physical health, but of his social behaviors. You've aided him with administrative requirements and personal matters, although it falls outside of your listed duties. This gives you perspective. A fresh paradigm compared to most who know only of his many military achievements. Thus, you may be able to clarify the cause to certain odd behaviors I've noticed in him."
Kelly was taken aback. "Odd behaviors?" She asked.
Mordin nodded, and began slowly pacing. "Indeed. Noticed anomalies in his social protocols after recruiting the turian and even greater anomalies after recruiting the quarian. Normally, I could attribute these changes to a rise in hormonal levels. Old memories, kinship, desire to protect. Such emotions altering the chemical composition of physical body unique to humans, not overmuch concerning. However!" He exclaimed, his hands making wild gesture.
"With the quarian his hormonal levels could be rising even higher, beyond normal! My data, blood samples, judgment assessments, computer scenarios, point to an attraction to the quarian. But upon further investigation, talks with human crew members, this hypothesis seems unlikely. Humans not appealed by interspecies relations. With only lead proven negative, was hoping you could explain his extended periods of time spent with Tali'Zorrah vas Normandy."
What.
That man... Kelly tried to piece together what Dr. Solus just told her. Was he trying to...? No. Couldn't be. Could it?
"Shepard wasn't... Earthborn, was he?" Kelly asked.
Mordin quickly tapped at his Omni-Tool and scanned it's results.
"He was. Earthborn, enlisted at eightteen, then put past behind him later in life to lead Skyllian Blitz. Fascinating. But relevant... how?" He asked. Kelly chuckled under her breath. Now it made sense.
"You see Dr. Solus, I'll bet most of the crew you spoke with were colony kids or army brats. Back on Earth, there's this vid called Star Trek, and..."
"You've got to be joking!" Miranda exclaimed. The Cerberus agent cut into their conversation immediately from across the bridge.
"You're telling me..." She started, her anger growing each second, "That Shepard gave up these..." She shouted, grabbing her full chest, "These!" She added for emphasis.
Most everyone on the crew was staring at this point.
"... So he could go and be damned Captain Kirk?!"
Meanwhile, one level up in the Captain's Quarters, Commander Shepard and Tali'Zorrah vas Normandy were sharing a moment together.
"What do you think?" Shepard asked with small smirk.
Tali gasped. "I didn't know they got so, well... big!"
"You like it?" He asked.
"Of course! I just... I've never seen anything like it, they're much smaller back on the Flotilla. Tight quarters and all." She reached out to touch it, apprehensively, then lightly rubbed the top of the head.
"I think he likes you." Shepard said.
"That's wonderful. I think I like him too..." Tali said.
Shepard smirked again. "See Tali? I told you there was a difference between regular hamsters and Space Hamsters."
(A.N. Ever since the Star Trek, every man on this planet has dreamed of going out into space, finding new and intelligent forms of life, and then boning it. True story.
And for you ME2 owners who've been on the Citadel, go to the souvenir shop and buy a Space Hamster. It's a real thing. Look it up. Then you'll realize as I have, that despite looking pretty damn similar, regular hamsters are for chumps.)