Robin wipes away a dribble of salsa from her chin, studying Barney's frown, his tense body language and suddenly everything clicks into place.
"Oh my god, it's YOU!" She says, gaping.
"Huh?" He mumbles, cheeks filled with taco so he looks a little like a chipmunk.
"When Ted said someone was going to get hurt. He meant you!"
Barney begins to choke on his food.
"Oh my god, it IS. You have a thing for Ted! Barney, are you in love with Ted?" It does explain a lot - their whole Bromance and Bro breakup just before the summer. The fact that Barney is so desperately keen to be Ted's best friend. Has Ted finally found out? "Wow…"
There was terror in his eyes - pure terror. She actually feels a little sorry for him because, in this homophobic climate, he obviously has a huge need to overcompensate by chasing tail all the time. Just… Wow. "It's okay, Barney," She says, grinning. "Really. Hey, live and let live. Whatever you boys want to get up to in the privacy of… well, just don't be too loud, eh? I'm only in the next room." She gives him a huge wink.
He just stares at her, not even bothering to chew.
"I mean…" She rambles on because she can't seem to stop, "it doesn't bum me. I mean, bisexuality… It's not a deal breaker, you know?" Another wink. Perhaps she should stop that.
God, he really does look adorable.
"Barney, speak to me."
He makes a kind of helpless squeak and shakes his head, wide-eyed.
Robin pats his arm and grins. "S'okay, champ. I won't say anything. You can totally trust me." With that, she bites into her taco and grins. Just goes to show, you never can tell…