Author's Note: I promised a happy fic after "Love Her To Death"; so here is one ;)...
Please review! ^_^
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Grin and Bear It
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Ouch. I'm not used to being the one with my butt on the mat. Usually, it's the other guy; but since today the "other guy" is Teyla, I just didn't expect either of us to go down. See, when we spar, we're usually pretty even. Neither of us wins too often; we're an even match. A perfect match. But normally, she doesn't have that devious look in her eye, either. That's the look to watch out for; it means I'm about to be punished.
See, fighting with Teyla is not like fighting with anyone else. Heck, being with her isn't like anyone else. But we'll start with the fighting.
For her--- at least, practicign in the gym--- it's not just fighting; not just choreography, like it is for some of the other guys who come in here. For her, it's teaching; learning; living. But it's never hurting; not unless John or I have done something stupid. Then it's punishing. kind of like it feels right now.
There are a lot of sides to our Teyla, though; not just the warrior. That is a part of her; clear cut intentions; effortless; graceful--- as much of a dancer as a warrior--- and hardened. That part I don't ever see in the gym; only when we're fighting for our lives somewhere on some far off, deadly planet. She has the survival instincts of a runner, though she never was one. At least, not in the way that I was; though I sometimes wonder if what she endured wasn't worse...
Most people don't see that side of her; that's something that she doesn't like to show off. She shows her skills, yes; but she doesn't let on to how ruthless she can be, especially when the rest of our lives are in question. So in spite of the coldness of that part of her, I love it; because it's the part that would do anything to protect those who need it.
The next part of her is her leader side. Regardless of where she lives, she still is a leader to her people; she's just a leader who offered to be a liaison to their allies to ensure that her people will never be betrayed. I know that some of her people aren't happy with some of the decisions that she's made there, but I love that part of her, too. She will do whatever she needs to for her people; and if that means ticking a few of them off to ultimately save all of their lives, then they have no right to be anything but grateful to her for it.
I guess the next side of her is the trader. With that she confuses and fascinates me; I don't understand the elements or the patience of trading. She can sit there for hours and argue over the most menial things, and yet still come out with exactly what she wants and act as if she spent five minutes purchasing beads in a market stall. I don't understand how she can sit there and pretend not to be bored out of her skull while she bargains.
The rest of her sides are harder to distinguish from each other, though not from the ones that I've already said. All of those sides; the warrior, the leader, and the trader, are all very strong and very firm. And those are the sides that I find her showing more and more lately; which is why I especially treasure her softer sides.
Most people don't actually see this part of her--- at least, not on the city; I don't know about with her people--- the soft, gentle part that's more like a mother than anything else. Well, not that they don't see her gentle and sweet; you'd have to be blind not to notice that. But she has so many walls; it's not often that she lets them down enough that people see the tender, vulnerable woman within. She's the one who shares children's tears, not trying to be strong for anyone but simply shouldering some of their grief. She's the one who would rescue every last soul that we come across, no matter what they've done. She's the one that despite her history and everything that we fight every day, will give even a wraith a second chance. And, like the others but more clearly so, she is the one who would give her life for her friends, for her people; for me.
I love every part of Teyla Emmagan; but I think that it's when she's the softest, the most tender, that I see the real Teyla. But it's also the part that scares me the most; because I know that she'll give anyone a second chance. She did it for me; and I'm grateful for that. But she also did it for Elia, and for Michael; and they've both hurt her terribly because of it. Her compassion and mercy are some of the best things about her; but in the end I think that they'll do her more harm than good. I know that she doesn't care, but I do; I don't want anything to happen to her, especially when all that she wants is to help.
Oh no. She's giving me that look again. I must have been down here thinking for too long. I don't know what exactly she thinks that I did this time--- although the incident with the cart the other day while she was trading MAY have something to do with it--- but if I'm not on my feet and ready again in under two seconds I know that I'm going to get a beating I'll never forget; and I'm already not thrilled about some of the bruises that I feel forming. I love her, dearly; but knowing Teyla Emmagan can be painful sometimes.
Would I ever trade that pain for anything? Not likely. Love her way too much to change one single thing about her.
I was right, she's coming at me again, and I have a feeling that even being ready is not going to save me from the beating. Well, that's the price I pay for love, I guess. So for her--- and never anyone else--- I'll grin and bear it.
Everything is easier when I do it for her.
Fin.
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Author's Note: This isn't exactly what I'd hoped for; but I'm having fun experimenting with first person POV; and I really do like this. Oh, if you want to know more about "that incident with the cart", that came form my fic "The Incident of the Friendly Kidnapping". Check it out! ;)