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It had become instinctive, the minutes he walked out into the compound proper, he looked for her, it didn't matter that he wouldn't speak, just knowing where she was, that she was still safe was enough. Mostly she'd be checking kit or talking to Qaseem, trying to learn more about the country they were in. A place she could still the beauty in despite the circumstances.
This time it was different, she was there but not alone, deep in conversation by the looks of it with Smurf.
There was something about the way they were standing, it was too close, too intimate.
Look away. Walk away. Just stop . It's amazing how easy it was to ignore his self preservation instinct.
He watched a Smurf walked away, and Molly just stood there, looking after him. Looking lost.
"Problem Dawes?"
She hadn't even seen him approach, so deep in her own thoughts. The words that normally flew so easily from her were forced out, incomplete and unsure.
"He's, I mean he thinks, me and him, it's just left over from, you know, me saving his life. Misplaced gratitude or something right?"
And then he knew. Smurf had found the courage to do what he couldn't. Even now on the point of losing her when his heart did battle with head he knew which would win.
"There's a time and place Dawes, but, he's a good man. "
No matter what it cost him, if it meant she would lose the lost look her eyes, he could give her that.
It was surprisingly easy to keep out of the way for next for hours, not to look up when anyone from 2 Section walked by. Although he knew he'd have to face it eventually there was only so much punishment a man could take in one sitting.
When it came to briefing he tried to avoid making eye contact with his medic, outlining the plan for the following day, mechanical but he needed to get the job done. That's what they were there for. what they had been trained to do. Finally looking up he realised they were about a far away as they could get while still being in the same damn tent. He could see the looks passing between the rest of 2 Section, different from that first mission when they all sided with Smurf after she had raised her concerns, admittedly, there was no hostility there, just a watchfulness.
As they dismissed he played out a brief internal battle in his own mind, did he really want to know, perhaps they were being cautious, maybe she'd taken his words about a time and place to heart and they were waiting to land back in the UK before anything happened. Of course, they were both too good at their jobs to risk anything out here. He had to let her go.
Although never silent, there was a still quality to the compound at night. Sleep wouldn't come easy and there plenty of things to occupy him around and about, and if he tried he could even stop thinking about her. For a few minutes at least. Unfortunately he was so busy trying to not think about Molly Dawes that we walked into her and sent her sprawling on the ground.
"Bloody hell Dawes what are you doing creeping about at this time night?"
"I wasn't creeping Sir, I just couldn't sleep. "
He reached a hand down to help her up, hauling her to feet. Face to face he was surprised to see her eyes were red rimmed from crying.
"Are you hurt?"
"No Sir."
"Has something happened?"
Molly found she couldn't look him in the face, she knew if she did she would start crying again and today had been humiliating enough. Smurf was back to not talking to her and once again her private life was the number one topic of conversation for 2 Section.
"Dawes?"
"I tried to let him down gently Sir. I thought about what you said and you're right. He's a good man and he deserves better than to be second best."