Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter... unfortunately.
AN: Just something I wanted to do for fun, I've always thought that Salazar Slytherin would have a lot to say about what happened in the Harry Potter books... and lots of people to scold. Enjoy and review! Who knows, if I get enough feedback I might even post a few more chapters!
Dear Mr. Potter,
I have a bone to pick with you.
I suppose I should start at the beginning- your sorting.
I'm not sure if you are aware of this, but when Godric Gryffindor very generously allowed future Headmasters of Hogwarts to use his hat to sort the students, part of him resided in the hat, and since Rowena, Helga and I were all so close to Godric, by default a little part of us was in the hat as well.
Ever since then we have all, whether we liked it or not, been present for the sorting of every single student who has ever entered Hogwarts.
You can imagine the humiliation I felt upon your sorting where you very loudly whispered that you had no wish to be in Slytherin. Needless to say, my fellow founders haven't let me forget it to this day.
Unfortunately I cannot blame you for the hatred you've felt for the students in my noble house. Most of them are blundering idiots and I honestly cannot say I would have acted differently. I can however blame you for your severely ungrateful attitude.
All throughout your life you have viewed the gift of being a Parseltongue with anger and unhappiness. Obviously you are unaware that being a Parseltongue is a skill wizards much more deserving than you would kill for. I understand of course that the circumstances in which you've gained these skills are not entirely pleasant but I still do not see how they were a constant source of shame to you, especially since they were key in saving the lives of the many Mud- sorry, Muggleborns that were in danger.
Which brings me to my next point. You became the acclaimed "Heir of Slytherin" in your second year. I don't suppose you ever thought of how your choice in company reflected on me? The Heir of Slytherin, associating with know-it-all Muggleborns and stupid, red haired wizards of the lowest calibre, I of course, saw this all through the hat which honestly made it all the more painful. The embarrassment was more than I have ever experienced in my life.
For a few years of course, you decided that you'd take a break from bringing disgrace on the House of Slytherin and openly mocking it, that is, until, you chanced upon my locket.
Mr. Potter, I wonder if you've ever walked into your room and have seen someone taking a very large sword and smashing one of your most prized possession.
Well it's worse when you're not in your room but in the middle of some unnamed forest and the person destroying your prized possession is a wizard from one of the most downtrodden Wizarding families in Britain.
My only question is what on Earth possessed you to destroy my locket?
Yes, I am well aware that there was a part of a Dark Wizard's soul in it (trust me I plan to have words with him too) but you didn't really have to smash it, did you know? You could've very gently pried it open, somehow coaxed the bloody thing out and destroy the blasted thing! Not my locket!
Do you know how long it took me to convince my father I was worthy of keeping it? Let me tell you, a very long time.
You've wronged my house, and myself, on many occasions and I'm afraid I can't chew you out for all of them- I'd run out of paper.
However, I'd just like to let you know I was there when your wonderful child was sorted into Slytherin.
Revenge is a funny thing Mr. Potter, and if you're grandchildren turn out to be as devious as your second child is, we'll be even soon enough.
Salazar Slytherin.