Horatio had been so relieved the day that Nerissa came home from California. To see his daughter standing in front of him, safe in her own home lifted a weight off his chest that had been there since the day she left.
His heart had dropped when he saw the momentary flash of fear in her eyes when Ana rushed her. Then, it broke in two when he saw the grimace she had tried to so hard to conceal when Ana hugged her.
His heart finally shattered into bits when he saw the crutches and the knee brace.
Anger bubbled inside him and he wanted to kill the son of a bitch who did this to her.
Then, her crystalline blue eyes met his and nothing else mattered. The only thing he wanted to do was pull his daughter close and never let her go. They had dinner, they talked, they spent time together as a family for the first time in forever, and then they went to bed. Everything seemed like it could be okay.
The next day Horatio went to work and Nerissa stayed home with Ana. That night they went to the West Cafe for dinner. Everything seemed okay, but Horatio had forgotten one little thing from his trip to California.
The Nightmares.
About an hour after he went to bed the second night, Horatio jerked awake when a bone-chilling scream pierced the air. He bolted down the hall to Nerissa's room. When he pushed open the door, he found her trapped in a nightmare, terrorized by some horrible memory. For lack of better option, he knelt by the bed and using hushed tones, tried to wake her gently and assure her that she was safe. Eventually, her screams melted away to soft mewling and she woke up sobbing. Then, things got worse when Horatio heard a soft knock on the bedroom door.
"Mommy," Ana whimpered, "I'm scared. I heard scary noises…."
Nerissa still wasn't fully aware of what was going on, so Horatio took charge, "Ana, sweetie, everything's okay. I'll be in to tuck you back in soon."
"Okay," Ana said timidly.
After calming his daughter to a point where she was aware of her surroundings, he slipped out to tuck his grand-daughter back in.
"What was that noise, Grampa?" Ana asked nervously when Horatio entered.
"You know how you have bad dreams sometimes?" Horatio asked, and when she nodded he continued, "Well, Mommy had one and it scared her really bad."
"Oh," Ana said, "Is she okay?"
"Yeah, she's going to be okay," Horatio assured her, "Now, how about you go back to sleep."
"Okay," Ana said as she wriggled down into her blankets.
"Good night, Princess," Horatio smiled as he tucked the blankets in around her and gave her a kiss on the forehead, "Sleep tight."
"Night, Grampa," Ana yawned, already drifting back off.
Horatio tip-toed out and re-entered his daughter's bedroom, where she was still curled up on the bed, shaking and dripping with sweat.
"Do you want to try sleeping again?" Horatio asked softly.
"N-no," Nerissa stammered as she shook like a leaf.
"How about we go to the living room and watch T.V.?" Horatio suggested. Nerissa nodded weakly and allowed him to help her out to the living room. Once they got settled on the couch Horatio turned on the television and a few hours later Nerissa had fallen back asleep curled up against Horatio's chest.
Three weeks passed and at least every other night had gone the exact same way as the first, but Nerissa was determined to change the never-ending cycle and that started with making a huge change to her daily routine.
"Dad," Nerissa said to get her dad's attention.
"What's up, sweetie?" Horatio looked up from the file that he'd been reading while sipping his morning coffee.
"I'm going to work tomorrow," Nerissa announced.
"You are?" he asked clearly surprised by the announcement.
"I've been back for three weeks now," Nerissa took a deep breath, "and I think it's high time that I face everyone."
Horatio sat his coffee cup down, "Are you sure?"
Nerissa gulped, "I have to sooner rather than later because if I don't… I'm not going to get any better." She paused to take a gulp of coffee, " and I'm going stir crazy just sitting around all day. I'm ready to back into a work routine, even though it will only be desk duty."
"Okay," Horatio said rinsing his coffee cup out in the sink, "I'll make the proper notifications and have a desk in Homicide cleared for you."
"Thanks, Dad," Nerissa smiled, "You'd better get going, wouldn't want you to be late."
"Bye, Rissa," Horatio replied before he pressed a light peck to her cheek, "See you after work."
Once Horatio got to work, he immediately made the necessary arrangements for Nerissa's return. Then, he called everyone together for a team meeting in the ballistics lab.
"I have some news," Horatio announced when the whole team got settled in.
"Is it about Nerissa?" Calleigh asked.
"It is," Horatio nodded as he absent-mindedly toyed with the arms of his sunglasses.
"Well, what is it?" Ryan asked impatiently, "Is she okay?"
"She's okay," Horatio assured the team, "She's home." Shock rippled through the team and Natalia was the first to speak,
"When did she get back? Today?" she asked.
"Three weeks ago," Horatio admitted and the entire team started talking all at once, but he silenced them with a hand, "She needed time to get used to being home and deal with everything that's happened to her, and more than anything else she needed time with Ana."
The whole team silently pondered the ramifications of Nerissa's return, until Eric spoke up, "What happened to her?"
Horatio chose his next words carefully, "While she was missing in Afghanistan, she was tortured. I don't know to what extent because she hasn't told me, but I've seen some of the damage." Horatio paused to take a deep breath, "Most of the physical damage she sustained in Afghanistan has healed, but mentally she's still got a long way to go. However, a few weeks before she came home she was shot twice.
"How bad was it?" Calleigh asked concern creased her facial expression.
"She's going to need a lot of physical therapy for her knee and maybe another surgery, but the wound to her abdomen is almost healed," Horatio informed them, "Over the next few months she's going to need your patience more than anything else."
"When can we see her?" Eric asked from his position against the wall.
"When she comes to work tomorrow," Horatio replied.
Once again, shock rippled through the room but this time Calleigh was the first to speak, "She's coming back work already?!"
"She thinks she's ready, and who am I to stop her from trying to regain some sense of normalcy after everything she's been through?" Horatio paused to check his watch, "Now we all have work to do, so, let's get to it.
Reluctantly the team dispersed to their respective labs and desks, except for Calleigh, who followed Ryan.
"Ryan!" Calleigh called as she jogged after him.
"What's up, Cal?" Ryan asked, pausing long enough for her to catch up.
"Are you okay?" Calleigh asked since she was sure that Ryan was experiencing some conflicted emotions over Nerissa's return.
"I'm fine," Ryan shrugged nonchalantly, but Calleigh could tell he was lying.
"You know for a CSI you're a pretty bad liar," Calleigh called him out, "Are you going to be okay seeing her again?"
"Of course I'll be okay seeing her again," Ryan replied, "Why wouldn't I be?"
"I just wanted to hear it from you," Calleigh said as she scrutinized Ryan's expression, searching for any hint that he was lying, "You just came to terms with your emotions over her being gone and now she's back and you have to confront your feelings about her-"
"Let me stop you there," Ryan cut her off, "My feelings for Nerissa are not going to get in the way of work or our friendship."
"I think you should go see her tonight," Calleigh suggested, "Out of all of us, she needs you the most and it would give you the chance to relieve some of the pent-up stuff you've had going on the last few months."
"I'm fine, Cal," Ryan scoffed, "Besides, why would she even want to see me?"
"You told Eric she ran the night that you told her you loved her, right?" Calleigh asked.
Ryan nervously ran a hand through his hair, "Like I had the plague."
"Ryan," Calleigh laughed, "That's actually a good thing when it comes to, Riss."
"On what planet is running a good thing?" Ryan asked incredulously.
"Because if she didn't love you, she would have told you so to your face," Calleigh explained, "but she ran, Ryan. Don't you see that means that she's not entirely sure how she feels?"
"So, what you're saying is that she ran that night because she does love me?" Ryan asked skeptically.
"More or less," Calleigh nodded.
"Why are you telling me this?" Ryan asked, "You're her best friend. Isn't there some kind of girl code that this violates?"
"She needs help right now, help that I can't give her," Calleigh said sadly, "and she needs someone to be her rock, someone other than Horatio."
"Thanks for the advice, Cal," Ryan said, " but I think I'm going to wait until tomorrow."
"That's up to you," Calleigh shrugged, "but if you hurt her in any way," Suddenly Calleigh was centimeters from Ryan's face, "I swear that I will kill you and I will get away with it."
"Hey Dad," Nerissa greeted, looking up from her book when Horatio stumbled in the door after his shift, "How was work?"
"You know how it is.," Horatio replied as he worked to prise off his muddy shoes, "would have been better if I hadn't stumbled into a mudhole at a scene today."
"I would rather wade through mud than be stuck in this damn thing," She referred to her knee brace.
"I know you would, sweetheart," Horatio sympathized, "You just have to be patient. We can't have you getting hurt on the job because you tried to come back to full duty too early."
"I know," Nerissa huffed, "but it's still frustrating. I'm not gonna be able to do any kind of field work for almost another six months."
"At least you'll be able to work in the lab when you can stand without crutches," Horatio pointed out in attempt to look on the bright side.
"It's still frustrating," Nerissa rubbed her temples, "So, how did the team take the news?"
"Better than I expected," Horatio admitted, "Ryan was pretty upset you'd been home so long without saying anything but everyone else seemed to take it pretty well."
"I don't know what I'm going to do about Ryan," Nerissa mumbled so low Horatio almost missed it.
"So, something did happen between you at the dinner before you left?" Horatio asked.
"Yeah," Nerissa finally admitted, "He told me he loved me."
Horatio was unsurprised. In fact, he'd suspected for quite some time that Ryan was in love with his daughter, "And you ran, didn't you?"
"Yeah," Nerissa replied quietly, "I- I just don't know how I feel about him. I trust him with my life but I just don't know if I'm ready to have a relationship like that with someone."
"You mean with someone other than Tyler," Horatio corrected her gently.
"That too," Nerissa admitted, suddenly becoming interested in a loose thread on her blanket, "It's both, and after Afghanistan, I just don't know if I can trust a man like that."
"I can't tell you what to do, Rissa," Horatio told her, "but I do know that Ryan would go to the ends of the earth to protect you." Nerissa didn't say anything and Horatio didn't expect her to, "Where's Ana?"
"Coloring in her room," Nerissa replied, "She was in a mood earlier, so I sent her to her room."
Horatio was surprised to hear that as it was unlike her to misbehave, "What did she do?"
"It was both of us," Nerissa admitted guiltily, "She wanted to go outside and play. I told her that we couldn't. She got snippy with me so I sent her to her room. I feel bad about punishing her for something like that but I'm just so tired."
"Are you feeling okay?" Horatio placed a hand on her forehead to check for fever and pretended not to notice when she flinched at his touch.
"Other than the normal aches and pains that come with the abuse my body's taken lately. I'm fine," Nerissa pulled away from her father's touch, "but I had a migraine earlier."
"You haven't had a migraine since before Ana was born," Horatio frowned.
"I've had a few since… you know," Nerissa replied, unable to bring up the desert twice in a matter of minutes.
"You should go to the doctor," Horatio suggested.
"No," Nerissa asserted firmly, "I've spent way too much time around doctors lately. I'll be fine."
"Rissa," Horatio said.
"No!" Nerissa snapped, "I'll be fine."
Horatio dropped the topic but made a mental note to keep a close eye on her behavior for a while, worried that going back to work may cause some problems.
A/N: Welcome back to Nerissa's story, everyone! I'm sorry that I kind of disappeared for so long but now I've got my inspiration back. I can't promise that updates will be regular but they will be happening. I'm a full-time education major and I've got a really busy schedule so I don't always have time to write for fun. Thanks to anyone who has stuck around this long. My bio has a few other notes about future plans for my account so check it out if you're interested. I can't wait to hear from all of you! ~E