OK everyone, chapter 1 of the edited version. There still may be some errors so if you see any let me know and I'll fix them :)

"...You will never be strong enough
You will never be good enough
You were never conceived in love
You will not rise above

They'll never see
I'll never be
I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger
Burning deep inside of me..."

Music blared from her headphones as Hermione's head bounced slightly, moving with the music. She sat silently, her room completely dark except for a small desk lamp shining down on what she was writing.

"Does it make sense to anyone that it hurts when I don't hurt? I guess that's kind of like an oxymoron. It's like...I hurt inside for so long and then suddenly that pain is gone and... Nothings left. No happiness, no sadness...just...nothing. I've noticed now that I'm so ashamed of my life and what I've become I can't even look at myself in the mirror without feeling disgusted. I think I'm happy but at the same time it hurts to be happy...Like I'm afraid to be happy. I've spent like 2 years of my life being unhappy...And now to suddenly have all those feelings gone just leaves me empty.

She ended the sentence and the pen fell from her hand with a small clatter. She rubbed her eyes and pulled her sleeve up, glancing at the watch on her wrist. She hadn't realized how late it was. Hermione slowly picked up the pen again.

"Maybe none of you will ever understand. I don't even understand me so why should I expect anyone else to? I can't put into words why I did what I did. All I can tell everyone is how sorry I am and to ask that you all remember that I won't be in pain anymore. I love you all...

Love, Hermione"

Dropping the pen, she slowly rolled up her sleeve again revealing hundreds of thin white scars and some angry red slashes. She quickly unlashed her watch and set it on the desk, staring at her arm as if mesmerized. She snapped out of her trance and quickly rolled her sleeve down, tore the page out of the notebook and made her way into her bathroom. She quietly shut the door and locked it. She turned around and stared at herself in the mirror; slowly setting the piece of notebook paper on the counter.

"This is Hermione Granger, mud-blood and teachers pet." She murmured to reflection.

"I wonder how everyone would feel if they knew how I really was." She said slightly smiling at herself. She slowly blinked away the tears forming under her eyelids and opened the medicine cabinet. She groped for a few seconds before finding what she was looking for. A small razor blade. She gripped the razor in her hand and slowly slid to the floor, fighting back her tears.

"Stop it, just stop crying." She whispered to herself.

"Just do it already..." She slowly rolled back her sleeve and placed the razor against her wrist, pressing down. She bit her lip suppressing the scream that threatened to come bursting out of her. Hermione slowly released the pressure on the razor and watched it fall from her hand as her blood spilled onto the floor.

She rested her head against the wall behind her, as her tears finally fell from her eyes.

"I'm sorry..." She whispered closing her eyes.