The Last Laugh

I hate Her. I hate her golden locks, her lilac eyes; everything about that top-heavy ass wipe. She is the very bane of not only my existence, but this entire school suffers from her terminal stupidity. Every day, I had to deal with her puns, how she torments me with that slutty tongue of hers:

I was just eating a turkey and cheese sandwich, sitting with my teammates. One was cracking a few jokes about our last mission, when out of nowhere, this blonde lard ass shows up, and says, "Heya boys. My name's Yang Xiao Long. It's 'ice' to meet you", before dropping a fucking ice cube down the back of my shirt. I squirmed and shook from the cold, before ripping of my shirt and throwing it at her feet, and all she had to say was, "Geez, 'chill out' man". I was livid, and was about to do something, until my teammates pulled me back in and told me,

"Dude, she's not worth it."

"It was just a joke; don't let it get to you."

"Russo, look at me, bro. Just breathe."

Or how about we look back to her anger issues; always freaking out over the tiniest of things:

I was walking through Vale's square one Sunday afternoon with my buddies, drinking some cola under the blazing hot sun. A few steps past the center, I overhear a loud, angry, but painfully familiar voice: "What do you mean you're all out?!" I look over my shoulder (God knows why I did in the first place) and saw that bimbo Xiao Long shake down this ice cream vendor, saying something about how her favorite flavor shouldn't be out of stock. To her right stands a girl half her size, wearing what seemed to be a red hood and cape and a black combat skirt. She was trying to lead the buxom bitch away, but Yang threw the girl's arm away, shouting, "Get off me, Ruby! This ass hat needs a beatdown. He shouldn't say 'every flavor under the sun' when he doesn't have it. It's FALSE FUCKING ADVERTISING!"

"Yang! We could just try another ice cream spot. You don't have to do this!"

Turning around to bore a hole through the little runt with now burning crimson eyes, she responded "Oh no, Rubles," with a humorless chuckle, "I HAVE to do this. This guy's the only person who serves Lemon Colada in Vale, and if I don't get what I want, I don't play nice." She threw a punch that practically shattered the poor bastard's cart, and then threw herself onto him, headbutting and slugging him as he was slowly dragged down to the concrete at his feet. He begged for mercy, while Ruby pleaded with Yang to show some decency as she tried to pull the latter off. Unfortunately, once the Dragon is unleashed, nothing would be able to stop her. The moment I took a step toward the scene, my partner, Mars, placed a hand on my right shoulder, and said to me, "Russo. That there is Yang Xiao Long; angriest piece of ass in Beacon, and frequent winner in Goodwitch's sparring classes. Do you really want to get in her way when she's like this?" I was torn between helping the poor businessman and looking out for myself. In the end, however, I heeded Grayson's warning and backed off. I was still alive, but I'd be damned if watching Yang pummel a helpless old man didn't make me feel so powerless.

And finally, we have Yang's third and final moniker: hoe bag.

I just started dating this girl named Velvet. She was a shy but sweet girl, with rich brown hair and rabbit ears. Her eyes glistened like flawless steel, and her smile was contagious, especially to me. We were sharing strawberries together, when Yang sauntered over to our table with a little sway in her hips and sat down with us. "Hello~. What do we have here?"

"I don't know if you noticed, Long, but Velvet and I are kind of in the middle of something," I told her, words fully coated in seething venom, "so how about you go screw with someone else for a change?"

She made a hurt expression, and in a false tone responded, "Ouch~, that really~ hurt, you know? It's almost like you want this~." She started undoing her jacket's buttons, one by one, and slowly peeled off her person. She then lifted her shirt and exposed her D-cup fun bags underneath, her nipples pink and erect.

She asked, "You like what you see?" in a very seductive manner, almost as if she wants to wind me up. It's bad enough I must be subjected to this, but Velvet was watching the whole thing unfold. "Don't worry, honey bunny. Your boy toy's in good hands here." Velvet looked away, her face red as the crack of dawn. Tears streamed down her face as Yang continued to try and smother me with her tits, sticking her tongue out at Velvet as she did it. And I just sat there and let this happen. This was beyond a feeling of despair: I was thoroughly humiliated. Such was a truth that filled my eyes with tears of my own that day.

No. I've had enough of Yang. Fucking with me was one thing, but breaking Velvet is where I draw the goddamn line. Tomorrow, I'm ending this, once and for all.

The next day…

The entire academy filed in for lunch, and I just set down my tray with my team. I was starting to eat this tuna sandwich with a side of fries, when I spotted my nemesis; her curly gold hanging down to her soon to be deflated jugs for all of Remnant to see. I excused myself from the group, and headed my way to her, hands balled into fists and shaking with rage. She was gossiping about some random bullshit with her gal pals when I said, "Hey Yang. We need to have a talk."

Yang: "Go away, tease. I'm talking with my ladies."

Russo: "Really? You're busy with something. Well, you see, that kinda reminds me off something. Something like what you did to me in front of Velvet!"

Saying Velvet's name, I slammed my hand fist right next to Yang's tray, shaking it and the other trays at the table. I could feel the entire lunch room go silent, like there's a storm brewing between us, ready to erupt into violence. Ruby was the first to speak amidst the tension, "Yang, what is he talking about? What did you do?"

Yang turned around and answered, "Oh, I was just messing around with those two. It was no big deal." That answer did nothing less than make my anger worse. The more words came out of Yang's lips and ass, the more my blood started to boil. Seemingly convinced, Ruby turned back to her food, saying, "Alright. But this better be the only time I hear about something like this, is that clear?"

"Crystal, sis" Yang replied (how this jerkoff is anyone's sister, I'll never know). After her exchange with Red, Yang leaned over to my ear, and whispered, "Normally, I'd kick your ass for pulling this kind of shit, but my sister is sitting here. So you have her to thank, because I'm letting you off easy. But try to fuck with me like this again, and your ass is getting buried alive, do you understand?" I nodded in response, knowing I lost again. I failed myself, knowing that I would stay helpless against her. I failed my team as a leader because I was weak in the face of an enemy. But worst of all, I failed Velvet. I couldn't defend her honor; at that moment I didn't have the stones to go through with it.

I turned around and was halfway to my table, when I heard Yang say, "Wow. That guy needs some help on the court. I think he lost his balls." That's when something inside of me snapped; my mind was hijacked by unbridled fury. I turned back around towards Yang, and all that ran through my head was:

KILL HER!

RIP HER APART!

SHE'S FUCKING DEAD!

With a roar, I charged right at Yang, murderous intent flooding my eyes. Once I reached her, I tackled her to the ground, and tore at her hair like a wild animal (No offense, Velvet). I ripped handfuls of hair and scattered them behind me, as I dug my teeth into the stem of her left ear, trying to mutilate it. My teeth sank and never let go, tearing the cartilage until the ear ripped clean off. I spat it back into her face for good measure; there was no way in Hell I was gonna swallow it.

But for the coup de grace, I whipped out one of my dad's workshop hammers from the back of my pants. I let Yang stare at it for a little while, before I started drumming onto her shit eating face. I crushed her face with it repeatedly, as the floor around her started to get soaked with saliva, blood, teeth, and tears. I would have kept wailing on her if two of her teammates hadn't grabbed me by the arms and pulled me off.

I looked down at her face, now all mangled and almost toothless, and screamed, "NOT SO FUNNY NOW, ARE YOU, SLUT?!" before spitting on her fallen figure. As I was getting dragged away, her sister and some other team were trying to make heads and tails of what I done, as the bimbo screamed in unspeakable pain. The screams were hard to under stand at first, but what I got was, "... so DEAD! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU! YOU'LL WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN!" Despite being whisked away by an heiress and a former terrorist, and eventually getting confronted by Professor Ozpin about this whole debacle, I'd say that this was the best damn thing I've ever done for myself.

Wow. He was mad as hell! Anyway, I, ah, had this idea going for a while, and since no one else had the stones to write this, I figured I take on the challenge. Sorry about the long hiatus, but now I'm back. Leave a review and let me know what you think. As always, I'll be here to answer all of your questions. Kamina, out.