~(~

I'm sorry lover, I'm sorry I bring you down; well these days I try, and these days I tend to lie. Kinda thought it was a mystery, and then I thought it wasn't meant to be; you said yourself fantastically "Congratulations, you are all alone." – Imagine Dragons.

~(~

When they invade the base, she breathes in relief.

Months before, Coulson told her that she was to infiltrate the largest Hydra base they knew. She, however, was reluctant. Her instincts told her to stay with Fitz; she knew that the poor boy would need her when he woke up. Coulson told her that a little space might be what he needed. She did not believe him, but proceeded to make plans to leave anyways.

She found it fairly easy to get a job in the biology department, her knowledge of biochemistry excelled that of her collogues. The scientists were given a rather low clearance however, and when she made her first contact with Coulson, she voiced her concerns.

"Sir, you wanted me to get valuable intel, but the sciences are given a much lower clearance level than that of the field agents. I know that I've only been working in the field for a couple months, but give me around four of five and I could be trained as a soldier."

He had looked thoughtful for a moment and she was almost positive he was going to respond with, "go dark," the phrase he used much more often than others.

"I trust your judgment Jemma, just beware of the harsh training the officials administer on their agents. Fitz will kill me when you get back covered head to toe in various injuries."

"Yes sir," she responded.

"Oh, and Jemma?"

She swallowed. "Sir?"

"Try not to get yourself killed. You are one of the only agents I know I can trust."

She nodded crisply even though he couldn't see it.

"I can try and manage that sir."

"Goodbye Jemma."

"Goodbye sir."

Cutting off the connection, she sank on her bunk.

The next morning, she voiced her concerns about being in the lab, and the morning after that, she started training.

She knew it was going to be much more difficult then anything she had expected, and after hours of sprinting without barely a rest, she realized just how out of shape she was. The first couple days continued on like this, and by the fourth day she was ready to give up.

While she was running, she thought of a man named Leo Fitz, a man she wholeheartedly loved. He was the bravest person she knew, always pushing her when she was ready to give up, always reminding her that she was something greater. As a tear rolled down her cheek, she decided to push herself much harder than she had ever before.

When she finally became used to the insane amount of running and abdominal workouts, (she was going to have killer abs after this) they started to work on actual moves.

The first day she cracked one of her ribs, which was expected, as she had never had to defend herself like this before. When she went to the infirmary, she encountered more issues.

"What do you mean you can't do something about it?"

The doctor had only frowned at her.

"You are training to be a field agent, yes?"

She nodded stiffly.

"We are not allowed to help you while you are training, it's against protocol. When you're on a field op, you can't expect for a medical team to come to your location as soon as possible, it doesn't work like that."

Walking out, she sighed in defeat. Maybe it would make her stronger.

Three days later, she witnessed her first punishment. A man named Timothy had stolen some medical tape from the infirmary. She watched in horror as his supervising officer carved the word thief into his upper back. She decided then and there that she did not want to be Timothy ever.

Unfortunately for her, that opportunity had presented it's self three months later.

She had been eating lunch at the café on campus; she was surprised that a hydra base even had a campus, typing a lab report on her laptop. Deciding to take a break, she went onto facebook to see how her mum was doing. Within a couple of minutes, two of the men in her field approached her.

"Dr. Simmons."

She looked up from her screen.

"Sir."

She winced inwardly. She did not want to call a man like this sir.

"Come with me please."

She stiffly nodded, beginning to throw her belongings into a tote. A voice cut her off.

"We will get your belongings Dr. Simmons."

Swallowing, she stalked off after the other agent.

Most of the time, Jemma could keep a clear head. She was great at keeping everyone focused on their tasks while managing to accomplish several things at once. She had always been a gifted multi-tasker.

Now, her mind was spinning. She was scared for herself, for Fitz. She immediately thought that they had discovered that she was in fact a SHIELD agent who just so happened to be very in love with a certain Leopold Fitz.

She managed to keep her expression clear of worry as she approached the Director of New Field Recruit's office. The man in front of her carefully opened the door.

The office was not an office. She felt her jaw begin to tremble in fear as she took in her surroundings. She was in the middle of a torture room. Various instruments lined the walls, and a singular metal chair was situated in the middle.

She took her punishment with glory, even if she wasn't too sure what she entirely did. She screamed only when she was unable to hold it any more. She was barely able to move for the following two weeks, but that didn't stop a small grin from crossing her face.

She is in the office when the alarms go off. They leave her strapped to the chair, her face where the back of her head is supposed to be, warm blood trickling down her back.

She starts crying, and she doesn't here the visitor approach. Her arms are suddenly free, and she screeches in pain when the visitor hoists her by her shoulders.

"Jemma?"

She opens her eyes immediately, searching for the familiar voice.

"Agent May?"

May nods, holding her arms out for the girl.

"It can just be Melinda sweetheart."

She engulfs herself in the embrace, crying all over again, now that she knew she was really safe for the first time in six months.

The embrace was over as quickly as it began, and Jemma began to pull herself together.

"May," she began. "Is there a jacket over there?"

May smiled, and Jemma smiled cheekily back.

~(~

Throwing a camouflage jacket over her shoulder, she began the trek towards her flat. May had told her to be quick, and she was swiftly running across the city to get there before anyone found out she had left.

When she got to her flat, she was aware that a light was on in the back room. Shedding her jacket, she loaded the small handgun, and turned to face the room, her gun pointing at the intruder.

"Did you really think I wouldn't find out?"

She sighed in relief, dropping the gun and collapsing into Coulson's arms.

"I thought they weren't going to torture me," she breathed out.

"We were both wrong."

~(~

She manages to get back to their base without exploding into tears. She can tell that the lab is waiting for her.

"Go," Skye whispers in her ear. "Go and talk to him."

She manages to nod, and steps inside.

"Jem," a voice croaks, and she doesn't have to turn around to know who it is.

"They told me what you did, Jemma…"

She starts to sob, and the next thing she knows his arms around her, clutching her close to his chest.

"We're going to fix this…"

He can't find the words and it's breaking her heart.

"We're going to fix this, together," she finishes, and he presses a kiss to her cheek.

~(~

Thank ya'll for reading! I do not own Agents of SHIELD or their characters (no matter how much I love Jemma Simmons) Please read and review!