I hate Fridays was one of the Friday story prompts on the Starsky and Hutch Facebook site: Starsky and Hutch Fans and Fan Fiction.
I think I must've started the story before Halloween, and then Christmas came and went, so this story includes that too.
Plus, I wanted to get this short version on the web before some of us fans on another Starsky and Hutch Facebook site view "Little Girl Lost" on Dec. 30th, 2017
Not beta-read. Sorry but everyone is so busy I skipped asking anyone to do it.
Title: "I Hate Fridays" short version. Short version has barely any hurt Hutch.
There was this one person-
A woman and over 105 years old!
Hadn't told Hutch about some extra-special things she could do only because it was just recently that she'd found out she had the ability to do them.
It was over six months ago since she'd last seen the very handsome blond.
Not his or her fault, they not getting together a lot sooner than this… or at least talking on the phone.
Now that they were at her house, Harper, her last name Ledgehog-
To her great delight it rhymed with her favorite animal- the hedgehog!
She started off telling Hutch,
"I hate Fridays! Always have! Always will! Good thing it's Wednesday!"
Quickly went on to say,
"Hutch-Honey! Not you dear! Not you! Think I'm senile, that is! There's peoples who think I am! I'm not! And I didn't make a mistake calling them peoples! An' I ain't changin' my mind that today's Wednesday! And it ain't that month called December either! It's not cold enough to be December! Least not in this part of the good ole U.S. of A. we're in, it isn't!"
She was really pleased when he agreed with her about Fridays with, "I know what you mean about Fridays! I hate them too!"
"Why do you think Fridays are so bad?"
She really did want to know how come.
"Well, it's like this Harper Ledgehog-that rhymes with Hedgehog! Too many bad things happen on Fridays! Good thing it's Wednesday! It's also October. Halloween, to be exact. Weather's just right for it! Are you 'in' with me on that or not Harper?"
She loved the way he said 'Harper".
She loved the way he talked…period!
That divine combination of Minnesotan/Californian way he sounded when he talked went straight to her heart and then some!
It was obvious she had a huge crush on him!
Had a 'thing' for her own talking too!
Though she sounded like an old lady with a crackling voice and came from a city called Kalamazoomuhoo.
Mind you, she wasn't ashamed or anything like that, on how she sounded or what place she originally came from.
"Of course, I'm in with you on that Hutch-honey- the weather's just right for All Hallow's Eve- Halloween! But I love Christmas too!"
A lot of people thought Hutch hated Christmas!
Was a big scrooge when it came to that holiday.
All because of that one year, and one year 'only' when the two days leading up to Christmas he started griping quite a lot about it and its phony euphoric sentimentalism.
But there was another side to him too. The same day he started getting down on Christmas, when Mike, the owner and manager of a downtown Bay City convenience store, wanted the girl who ended up being Pete/Molly arrested for stealing from him, though theft was certainly wrong, not just Starsky, but also Hutch, thought Mike should've given her a break.
For Mike to not have called the police on her in the first place!
Besides that, it wasn't like she'd committed an armed robbery, like Hutch and Starsky thought they were responding to! All because when the police dispatcher had asked, "What's your emergency?" Mike had said a 2-11 was in progress at his store!
It was almost Christmas and the 12-year old girl had holed herself up inside the store in a small phone booth and for safety.
The blond cop's tender-hearted sentimentalism about the holiday was real. There was nothing phony about him taking care of things-especially her! Even when she'd yelled at him, "Stick it in your ear!" Then used one of her feet to slam closed the door of the phone booth on his thumb!
His aching thumb! It did hurt bad enough he'd yelled "Ow!" then stuck his smarting thumb in his mouth to try to make the pain go away! That phone booth must be bigger than it looked!
He still cared about her well-being, though she'd injured him, and hurt his thumb and just because with her stealing from Mike and the other shop-keepers, he was going to let her speak for herself instead of Mike doing it for her, and Hutch had asked her, "You have anything to say?"
Knowing that he wasn't going to get anywhere with her, Hutch did end up telling Starsky, "Why don't you take care of this? I took care of the last big bust" and stuck his thumb back in his mouth again. However, Hutch wasn't going to let her not nice at all attack on him cause him to stop caring for this girl who had come into his and Starsky's lives, less than five minutes ago.
Although Starsky didn't lose any of his concern for her either, as the two detectives were leaving the store with her in tow, it was Hutch who was still miffed enough at Mike for calling the cops on her and sarcastically told him, "Congratulations Mike! You'll probably get the Chamber of Commerce's Spirit of Christmas award for this."
See, Hutch knew how a child stole candy, including black licorice, just because they liked the taste of it.
They stole cold cuts because they liked them…. but, too, because they were hungry and didn't have enough money to buy cold cuts, not even salami.
Then, before Pete/Molly's dad was murdered, though Starsk, like Hutch, had noticed all the booze bottles inside her and her dad's apartment, it was Hutch who had taken the time to look in the refrigerator to see if there was any food in it for her to eat. It was almost Christmas…
A time when wishes for something were supposed to come true. That included wishes for lots of good stuff for her to eat would be there in that fridge.
Having his wishes come true didn't pan out wasn't really any big surprise, but as luck would have it, he did have a back-up plan.
Buy her some food. Cold cuts including salami and at some place different than Mike's.
Not let her have any salami for breakfast though. He wasn't being mean about it.
Just that the first meal of day a person's taste buds were ready to eat cold cuts, including salami. However, stomachs weren't ready for junk food and so early in the day. Weren't ready for it, even when she wouldn't feel her stomach protesting the junk she'd put in it.
Back at her apartment, Hutch noticed that Starsky was talking to her about her baseball mitt. A very good and important thing for him to do.
Hutch knew a whole lot about baseball too. A lot more than he sometimes let on. Like instead of joining the two in their conversation, he busied himself turning up the temperature of the space heater to chase away the chill in the room. When it came time for the electric bill to be paid, he would take care of it.
After Pete/Molly's dad was shot and killed for the $100,000 worth of diamonds he was holding onto for himself, and she, Starsky and Hutch didn't yet know her father been gun downed; though Starsk was doing good and well keeping her entertained- again talking with her about baseball things-who was it who was doing something else very important?
It was the blond Hutchinson. This time concerned that the water heater wasn't working properly, he busied himself taking care of that problem!
Tonight, and the nights thereafter, including Christmas, she would have hot water and enough to take a nice, long and relaxing bath in. That, or whatever else she decided she wanted to use the heated water for. Maybe make herself a nice cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows on top. There were some brand names of instant hot chocolate and better than the kind made with milk or that stuff down at the police station. Even if that at the station Starsky would end up giving her a cup of the station's hot chocolate, telling her, "It will make a pitcher out of you yet."
When Hutch was working on the water heater and at her apartment, still not knowing that her father had been killed, all the while he was thinking about other ways he could help her and take care of her.
After they found out that her dad had been murdered with two bullets to the back, who was it who had taken her into his place to stay so she didn't have to spend Christmas-time in juvie!?
Yes! Hutchinson; his heart was in the right place when it came to Christmas! Even if two days before it he'd started griping about it.
Besides that, there was some other ways he was actually euphoric about the holiday. He did have a pretty and festive looking Christmas wreath hung on the front entrance door to his apartment. Just by the wreath being there, it greeted people with a "Merry Christmas" before they even walked inside his apartment. Just like it had so cheerfully done the Christmases before.
Inside his Venice Place apartment, he had a red candle inside a glass bowl with Christmas types of branches…from green pine trees…. placed around it. Mixed in with the Christmas greenery were some Christmas tree balls.
That same year for Christmas, Hutch also had a Santa Claus. It was made out of nothing but inexpensive plastic, but he'd purposely had it on top of his piano and where everyone who came to his place could see and enjoy his most recent Christmas decoration he'd purchased.
If he really did hate Christmas he would've thrown those items in the trash. He would've balked about Starsky bringing a Christmas tree inside his apartment. Which he didn't and wasn't going to.
At the police station, when other policemen were looking at the gift of a toilet stool they'd got Dobey for Christmas-Hutch didn't have a cruel streak by telling them Dobey was in the hallway when he wasn't. Hutch was just having some Christmas fun-like Santa's elves did. Plus, he was getting a big delight out of what they'd put in the toilet stool and kept lifting the lid looking at what was inside!
Additionally, all along Hutch knew all the names of Santa's reindeers, but each year it was a tradition of his to botch up their names and just to drive Starsky crazy. It wasn't going to send Starsk to some mental institution. Plus, even Starsk knew Hutch knew all the names of Santa's reindeers, and was just playing along with their game of who knew the most Christmas trivia and who didn't.
Then Hutch giving Starsky a tree for Christmas.
Hutch wasn't being cruel about what gift he'd chosen to give his best friend either.
He hadn't given Starsky the sweater he wanted or the caboose for his train set.
Later on, after Kiko, his mom, and Pete/Molly were taking a nap, Hutch drove Starsky to Westside Park where the tree he'd gotten him was.
When they got there, Starsky commented he didn't remember Westside Park being so beautiful! Didn't recall the horseshoe game area being so cool-looking and that actually made him want to play horseshoes. Which they ended up doing with the horseshoes someone had left there for the next people who wanted to play!
In the end, it didn't really matter if Starsky or Hutch had won the game. All that mattered is that they'd had a great time.
Taking Starsky's hand in his, and leading him to the tree; Hutch had brought with him the ant farm he'd known ahead of time that Starsky was going to give him.
It was a present Hutch hadn't asked for, and although he appreciated the gift, at the same time, he had a big problem with it.
Hutch knelt down by the tree and asking Starsky to join him, he gently explained to the curly-haired brunet that the enclosure the ants were in didn't give them much freedom to move around. "See all those ones there including that ant Dobey? They're still trying to get out of their claustrophobic jail and are going to commit suicide if we don't do something about it right now."
"You got a hammer on you!?" Starsky was certainly eager to set the tiny creatures free and free by his wonderful tree!
"Don't got a hammer, but got this thing here." Hutch said, and as the ants were let go, Hutch started singing, "The ants go marching one by one. Hoorah! Hoorah!"
Completed the song with not one word messed up too.
Then broke out and intentionally with, "You know Dasher, and Donner, and got all of the rest of the reindeers' names right except for Glitzfield and Markelvanhoofen."
"You dummy!" Starsky yelled, throwing a pretend snowball at him. Pretend when there was no real snow on the ground.
Hutch threw his own pretend snowball at Starsky, claiming, "At least most of Santa's reindeer's names I got right this time! The two I did mess up ….one does have the word 'hoof' in it and reindeer do have hooves you know!"
Then the war was on to see who would win the first three rounds of pretend snowball fighting before they went back to playing real horseshoes.
This year too, Hutch didn't hate Christmas! He really did enjoy the holiday because Harper then spent the next 45 minutes telling him everything that went on in a TV show and that aired every year around Christmas.
That TV show was none other than:
"Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeer"!
She quoted the dialogue and word for word too!
Afterwards, they both agreed it wouldn't be quite the same if Harper had left out of her recitation the part where all the other reindeer shouted out with glee, "Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer! You'll go down in history!"
Next, that extremely overweight and very old, yet very sweet and kind lady! -
She told Hutch everything that had happened on (and every word that had been spoken on!) a certain episode of her favorite adult television series.
Wasn't "Starsky and Hutch".
Especially when there was no such tv show!
Her favorite was "Star Trek"
Her favorite episode:
"The Apple".
Afterwards, she told Hutch,
"Hutch- Honey!" My favorite-The apple of my eye! On that eppy of "Star Trek" is 'Makora'.
Then she winked and flirtatiously at Hutch!
Informed him, "Hutch- Darling! You do look a bit older than that Makora, but not by much! Not by much! And another thing- Unlike that Makora fella, I've never seen you with a white wig on your head and hiding that lovely and silky and beautiful blond hair of yours!"
She didn't stop talking.
Carried on with,
"Don't see any kind of make-up on your so extremely handsome face! You ain't wearing a towel an' just around your waist for clothing like Makora is! You've got on a light-tan shirt, the long sleeves rolled up to your elbows, and have on blue jeans with a belt. Which is fine by me! You're so scrumptious looking I could just scream!-Oh and another thing!-Right now you're skin isn't that gorgeous golden tan like it sometimes is. Right now, it's more of a delectable-A-
Nordic Creamy White! Like the finest cake frosting or the best vanilla ice cream in the whole world!
But I swear you still look a whole, whole lot like that Makora!- "So yummy-looking- just like you are! Happy, happy, happy sigh! Oh my! Be still my heart!"
Then she winked and flirtatiously at Hutch- again!
Although a lot of Starsky's movies and TV shows, and of the Sci-fi variety, Hutch just couldn't get into; too weird and too out of this world for his liking; it was he who had actually got Starsk into watching "Star Trek" with him andanytime they had the opportunity to do so.
Harper Ledgehog comparing him-Hutch- to Makora (wig or no wig on and so on and so on!) and flirting with him the way she was doing…The six- foot one cop continued to stand up nice and straight and show Harper just how much he was still a tall and grown man!
On the other hand, he was a little boy!
What with his boyish shyness and showing itself and all over his face!
Plus!-He was shuffling his feet back and forth and back and forth on the carpet.
Was keeping his mouth shut too- Not knowing what to say to Harper in return!
Why, if Starsky were here, he'd be egging Harper on!
Making motions with his hands to toss at Hutch even more remarks on how she thought the Blond Blintz was so, so, so good-looking!
Starsky wouldn't be jealous of Hutch. Not if he got Harper laying it on even thicker how much she was so much swooning over the blond. It would make Mr. Ken Hutchinson blush brighter than he already was!
Make him blush redder than Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer's-ah-Nose!
And then Starsky would be laughing his head off!
He'd have Harper doing it too, but lucky for Hutch!-
Starsk wasn't anywhere around and was off doing something else altogether.
To be precise:
Mowing his yard.
Though there was nothing at all wrong with Starsky! Nothing at all! Just that this year he'd decided to change Halloween up some, and wait until the next night to do anything at all that could be considered Halloweenie.
Starsky wasn't anywhere in sight to make fun of the blond, and it was Hutch's turn to laugh a laugh that started deep down in his fit and trim belly, and then up and out of his mouth came the:
Not a- 'Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!" Like Santa Claus.
Was more of a "Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!"
Then Ken Hutchinson started giggling!
He was no longer blushing, but his stomach and his ribs sure did hurt a whole, whole lot!, All because of all the laughing and giggling-the amusement he found in Starsk not being here with him at Harper Ledgehog's place!
"Sorry Harper!" Hutch apologized, then shut his mouth again; parking his butt on her couch and looking straight at her.
Giving her all of his attention.
"No worries, Hutch-Honey! No worries!"
Then for the third time this early Wednesday evening, she flirtatiously winked at him!
Soon though, she had pity on the man she did love and behaving herself; didn't make him blush anymore!
Even when blushing he looked more adorable than he already was.
End "I Hate Fridays" short version