I do not own Rick and Morty.
Feed back is always wanted. Thank you. I hope you enjoy!
Constant Star
The cold winter air bites through the house again. I move through our small home in my pajamas and a sweater with my arms hugging my body striving to keep the warmth that I do have contained. I look out the window to see the snow covering our yard. It really is beautiful. The dark night sky compliments the purity of the ground so beautifully. Tomorrow children will be kicking up the snow and building snowmen. Cars' exhaust will melt it to a muddy puddle. It's peaceful and beautiful now, so I stay admiring it for a little while longer. A few snow flurries fall slowly to the ground and, my gaze flows up to the dark sky.
There are stars out tonight as well. The sky's own version of snowflakes decorating it delicately. The stars are a nice reminder that some things aren't as temporarily beautiful as the snow outside. Some things are constant and ever present. I turn to the clock. 4:34 am. I sigh and resume my task.
Blindly finding the thermostat I turn it up. He must have forgotten to turn it back up again. Speaking of him, going back to the reason I can't sleep, he needs to come to bed. My feet shuffle across the carpet and past the kitchen to our garage (if you can even call it that now with all the stuff he's put in there). I look at the door. A soft light spills underneath it. I knock quietly. No response. I knock again. Receiving the same result, I open the door slowly.
I look around the room. Papers, bolts, and tools I don't even recognize coat the floor. On the walls, there are countless pictures, graphs, and blueprints with his signature chicken scratch of handwriting. My eyes fall on the chair in the far corner and the person in it that I now see is asleep.
Rick. I sigh again. His mind gets the better of him sometimes. I walk over to the desk to examine the project that he, no doubt, fell asleep working on. I pick up what looks like a small green glass tube. Next to it, a grey box with a button and screen on it. I place the glass tube back down. Deciding to get a look at the man beside me. I take in the details of his face as the dim light of his desk lamp emphasizes them softly.
His head rests on one arm on the table as his other hand lazily holds a screwdriver. I run my fingers through his dark hair gently. There's a grayish-blue tint coming in on some of his roots. He assures me that it's because of a lab accident, but I am pretty sure he is just denying his age. He isn't old in the slightest... yet. I chuckle. But I saw pictures of his father. His dark locks started turning around this age too. That's probably why Rick denies it. He knows he favors his father a lot. Which he hates. I smile as I fantasize older Rick. I think his gray-blue hair will look fine. Nothing wrong with being a silver fox. I stroke his hair some more as I take in all his features.
The dark circles under his eyes, a telling story of how much his mind and passion for his work wins over basic human needs most of the time. Rick, as much as you don't want to admit it, you are still human. You can't keep doing this to yourself. I look at the crows feet and wrinkles starting to form on his face. Each one holding a child like smile for a successful experiment, or a proud grin for his daughter's first words, or a laugh at his favorite interdimensional tv show. Each one a precious memory of what few things he loves in life. Each one a precious memory of what I love about him, even though none of them contain a memory of me.
Rick, I was never going to be enough was I? You always looked at the bigger picture. There was always more than what I saw, including what you were feeling about me. You are one to jump off cliffs and run into the face of adventure and danger full force to feel a thrill of life. You always have been. I used to hold your hand as you did, but I can't follow anymore. I think you started to see that. After Beth was born, I started taking on stereotypical mother qualities, none of which fit your style of life. This is why you are always gone isn't it? You see how I have changed. How I can't keep up. Instead of jumping off cliffs with you instantly, I have to count to three. Instead of running into danger and adventure alongside you, I slow you down as you run with me in tow behind you. Without trying to, I hold you back, Rick. Beth holds you back. That's why you leave.
You feel more out there than you do here. Beth's kindergarten graduation can't give you the rush that playing your guitar for far off planet alien crowds does. My kisses no longer give you a high that drugs you get from space can. This life isn't good enough for you, Rick. Your depression when you are home does not go unnoticed by me, neither does the smell of sex and perfume from another woman. You're looking for that adrenaline rush, that high, that drunken feeling to block out what you have seen out there. That's why we fight.
It's not just because of the drinking, the drugs, the absence from home, or even the cheating. It's the frustration in finally realizing that this is something I can't change. I am simply not enough for you and the brilliant ideas that you hold in that beautiful, messed up mind of yours.
I stroke your hair a little harder in an attempt to wake you.
"Rick...hey...Richard."
He starts to mumble.
"Rick...honey..."
His eyes flutter to a half open position as the screw driver falls from his hand, and he starts to slowly look around and rub his eyes in confusion. A blueprint drops to the ground from his desk.
"You need to go to bed, baby."
"Mmhm. I wasjuswor.."
He mumbles and starts to drift off again laying his head back down on his desk.
I walk back into the living room and grab a blanket from the hallway closet. Walking back into the garage, I pick up the blueprint that fell during his sleepy stir. Placing it on the desk, I drape the blanket over his slender frame. I run my fingers through his hair again, lean down and press a small kiss to his forehead.
I pick up the blueprint. There's a doodle of some device with measurements and numbers. I start to decipher the bad handwriting that I have come to know so well.
"Portal Gun Draft #4"
"Hand-held Interdimensional Travel"
"Infinite Realities?"
"Details that still need work:
-Smaller design
-Longer Battery Power
-Way to determine and calculate where you are and how to get to another place. So you aren't going places blindly...idiot"
The last one was circled many times.
So this is it Rick? This is really it? This is what you have been working on? An easier way to leave? I guess I kind of knew it would lead to this.
I know I have screamed and said things to you that no person should ever have heard. I know I am not the ideal woman for you. But Dammit Rick, you couldn't stay for Beth? I knew you would eventually leave me, but her? She deserves better. I only hope that one day you realize that. After you have drank yourself to nothing and tried every drug that the multi-verse has to offer to the point that you can no longer feel the high, after all of that, I hope you look back and think of her. Think about how much you missed in her life, and I do hope you come back to her. I know I won't be here by then, but Beth loves you Rick. You are her hero. She's so smart...she's honestly just like you. I just wish you were here to see it.
I set the blue print down. And look at you again. You're breathing even and snoring softly. I switch off the lamp, and kiss your beautiful mind again. I hope you find whatever it is you are looking for Rick.
I start towards the door.
You are my constant star Rick. You'll always be in my heart. Whereas me to you? I am as temporary as the fallen snow.
Thank You again! Please let me know what you think or if you liked it!
-D2D