"Shit, bro, you have a lot of cake."
"Swear jar."
"Fuck, sorry."
"Swear jar."
"God dammit!"
"I'll let that one slide."
Dave sighed, closing the fridge. He dug his wallet out of his pocket and pulled two dollars out of it. He took the swear jar down from on top of the fridge and shoved the bills inside. He was surprised he could get anymore in there.
"I think you're getting paid more from this stupid job than I am for babysitting you," he muttered with a sigh.
John just shrugged. "Maybe I am."
John Egbert was 2 (and three quarters John always added) years old, and by far the cutest little thing that Dave had ever met. He babysat him almost every day. He was on summer break, so he was almost always free.
The kid's dad was almost always at work, he almost never got to see him. Dave thought it was pretty damn sad, so he made sure to be there whenever he needed him.
"So, what do you wanna do?" he asked, sitting up on the counter.
"You were going to make me lunch," John reminded him. "And then you said a bad word."
"Right," he nodded, sliding off the counter. "Lunch." He opened the fridge once again. "What for lunch..."
Σ（ﾟдﾟlll）
He hated rain.
He also hated not having a car.
Dave walked down the sidewalk, his jacket pulled over his head. He didn't bother running, he was soaked anyway.
It was around ten o'clock. John had been in bed for a few hours, but he wasn't allowed to leave until got home. He didn't really mind though, it wasn't a far walk between the house and his apartment.
Dave tended to think a lot on the walk back home. Ignore his surroundings and just think. But this time there was one sound his couldn't ignore; crying. It was probably just a mother too lazy or too tired or quite possibly too drunk to shush her baby, but he wanted to at least check it out.
And he was wrong, so very wrong. After a little bit of walking, he found the source of the noise.
It was a baby, completely soaked, laying in a cardboard box. He looked like he had been wrapped in a blanket, but it'd been kicked off at one point. There was a little Rainbow Dash plushie beside him.
Dave knew he couldn't just leave him there. He pulled off his jacket and reached into the box, wrapping the small baby in it. He shushed him, bouncing him slightly until he stopped crying and fell asleep.
Σ（ﾟдﾟlll）
"Rose I have a kid."
"Hello David, I'm good thank you, how are you?"
"Please don't do this, Rose, I'm serious."
"Hello serious, I'm Rose."
"Oh my fucking- Rose!"
"Alright, David, what's wrong?"
"Rose I have a child."
"What did I tell you about not using protection?"
"I'm gay."
"Right. Okay where did this child come from?"
"I found him in a box out on the sidewalk. I brought him home. He's sleeping right now on the couch."
"Is he sick? It was raining earlier."
"I'm not sure he fell asleep."
Dave looked over at the baby laying on the couch. He was curled up in a red, gear covered blanket. He didn't look sick, but then again, he wasn't really able to say 'yo dawg I'm sick and shit can you make me some soup'.
"Sorry, David, I have to go. Kanaya's home and she's taking Roxy and I for dinner. Call me if you need anything else. I love you brother." She hung up before Dave could say anything more.