First and foremost the predecessor to this story is named 'Hate Me Now' by Demontailedfox; I have his express permission to takeover, and alter the storyline. Thanks Demon!
:::WARNING:::
-CONTAINS SPOILERS-
::WARNING::
This fic will deserve its M rating!
This means that content is not suited for children!
Dark themes.
Subject matter will including several taboos, consider yourself warned. Enjoy.
^o^
Genre: Suspense, Drama, Horror, Romance, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, annnnnd Super Natural… because they use magic, and there be monsters here.
*In case there was ever any confusion, I don't own Fairy Tail… If I did, Natsu and Lucy would have kissed by now. Damn you Hiro Mashima for being the world's biggest TROLL!*
I would like to take a moment to announce that CFLA is not a FF based group, and that the lovely ladies that I am Lucky to call my good friends are the best sounding boards in the world.
Also I'd like to thank my lovely Beta ShiningStellar, here is to working on many, many more super awesome projects together!
Chapter 1 – Arguments and More Arguments
"Natsu Dragneel, don't you dare walk away from me!"
"What more could you possibly want?" He groaned in irritation. Could she not take a hint? Was he not clear the last thousand times he refused? "Leave me alone, I've got nothing to say to you."
"Enough is enough! Stop being an asshole and tell me why!?" The blonde woman scurried to get ahead of her target, crossing her arms over her chest as she leveled her narrowed gaze on her partner. "You selfish brat, this is the third time this week!"
"You aren't my keeper, and I don't have to tell you a damn thing." He grunted, running a hand though his shaggy mane. "Now, I'll be taking my leave, Madam." Natsu bowed, his eyes never leaving hers. The simple action had her ire rising to new levels, especially when the fire mage began to walk away, again.
"No! You're not going anywhere till I get a proper answer!" The blonde mage grabbed her partner's upper arm, locking him in place. Her chest was heaving with fury and anxiety, but she refused to release her grip till he agreed to cooperate.
The fire mage froze at the sudden contact, silence falling over the two of them. Natsu's eyes swept over the park, noting the high population of small families with young children. The last thing he wanted was to fight with the blonde, especially out in the open where they'd have an audience. His mood was sour and an argument would only make things worse.
There was no reason for it either, all she had to do was take his words at face value and walk away. All he wanted her to do was walk away. 'I can fix that.' A dark foreboding voice whispered in the corner of Natsu's mind, casually invading and turning his thoughts dark as well as leaving him feeling off balance.
The sudden shift took the blonde by surprise; she had seen Natsu consume a fair bit of whiskey at the bar prior, but alcohol had never affected his equilibrium before. Lucy opened her mouth to ask if he was ok, but the words died on her tongue. "Let. Me. Go." Natsu tilted his head to the side, his forest green eyes narrowed at the place where Lucy's long delicate fingers were pressed, and her perfectly manicured nails dug into his flesh.
Her knuckles had gone white, the dainty appendages shaking slightly; the thought that he could snap them in half without any effort crossed Natsu mind, hanging there as if daring him to try.
"I will force it out of you if I have to, Natsu, but I won't let you go." A dark and twisted smirk pulled at the corners of Natsu's mouth, as the warm glow to her round cheeks dulled, making her look unusually pale.
Lucy was putting up an admirable front, to anyone else she looked absolutely fearless, but to him she was barely restraining her tremors of fear. Her pulse had quickened, and the scent surrounding her had shifted to include the biting tang that he associated with terror, still she tried to play the brave little warrior.
"What could you, possibly do to force me, to do anything at all?" His tone dropped to a dangerous octave that made her eyes go wide, a new wave of apprehension drying out her throat. Natsu kept up his hard stare, hating that she was doing this again. It took everything he had just to get through the day, and here she was throwing all his hard work right out the window.
Lucy was fragile, he could fracture her wrist with ease; she was, in a word, human. "You don't have what it takes; you wouldn't even stand a chance against me."
"Don't you dare imply that I'm weak!" He could see the anger overtake her fear, the color of her warm, loving eyes darkening to molten chocolate.
Subconsciously, Natsu found himself licking his suddenly dry lips before forcing himself to look at the gang of wild children playing tag. Natsu's stomach lurched uncomfortably, but he refused to give into the nausea. 'She is weak, it would barely take any effort to snap her neck.'
"Tell me Lucy, how many time have I gotten you out of trouble? How often have you relied on me to pick up your slack? You say I'm selfish, but you should take a look in the fucking mirror!" Natsu yanked his arm out of her grasp, taking advantage of the sting his words held. He was exhausted, and wanted nothing more than to go home and sleep off whatever this bug might be. Arguing with the blonde wasn't helping either as the dark shadows continued their assault, dragging his mind into places he didn't want to go. 'Take care of her, free yourself.'
Lucy hesitated, her mouth snapping shut several times as tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. Natsu hit the nail on the head, a Celestial Mage is often times nothing more than backup in the kinds of fights they frequently found themselves in. How often had her miscalculations led the team into a situation that was more dangerous than it should have been, resulting in her quick depletion of magic energy?
The number was vast for sure, but she had also learned to pull her own weight! Studying hand to hand combat with Erza as well as several other techniques with Mira, Lucy had learned never to leave any stone unturned. They always went into danger with a plan, and it was usually Natsu that blew it sky high.
"This argument is over, now leave me the hell alone." Natsu murmured, shoving his hands in his pockets as he stepped forward to continue his journey home.
"I… I don't understand. You were so happy, so full of life, and now… you're just a… a coward!" Tears streamed freely down her round cheeks, completely unchecked.
The fire mage stopped in his tracks, his shoulders hunched as he forced himself to stand perfectly still.
"A coward?" A wry smile pulled at his lips, a dry humorless chuckle thickening the tension in the air. "Is this your way of saying you want to fight? If that's it, speak up, I'll gladly burn you to a crisp."
The blonde mage cowered under the heat of the Salamander's glare. Lucy had seen that look a million times before, but it had never been directed at her person. "I have no interest in getting beaten to a pulp." Her voice was quiet, and shaking as she stepped forward, her palms turned out in a gesture of submission.
"Your attitude suggests otherwise." The sound of popping knuckles filled the space between them, alerting the blonde to Natsu's intent. "Who am I kidding? Lucy, the spoiled bitch, would never have the guts to challenge me."
-SLAP-
A sharp sting spread across Natsu's face, the shock of it taking a second to fully register. His fingers wandered up to trace the angry red mark, his wide eyes locking onto the blonde as her shoulders heaved with barely restrained emotions. Her chin was tilted down, hiding her expression behind the vail of her bangs, but he could see the fat tears still cascading, as she struggled to pull in enough air through her sobs.
Natsu had been annoyed, angry even, but now? He was enraged, furious, seething. The Fire Mage never would have thought Lucy would have the balls to bitch slap him, especially when he had just openly threatened her with a real fight.
Hell, he was fully awake now!
Natsu watched as Lucy lifted her chin, realization of what she had done crossing her expression, and a moment later regret swam in her bright eyes. Lucy had never intended to slap him that hard!
Both her hands flew to her mouth as she tried to cover the fresh wave of sobs. Her whole body was shivering due to fear, which Lucy was no longer trying to hide. She squeezed her eyes tightly, preparing for retribution, knowing full well that she had just declared war.
Natsu raised his arm slowly, his fist clenching and unclenching, as his flames flickered in and out of existence. The fire mage swung his arm forward in a wide arc, nearing the sobbing blonde's face.
'Yes… destroy her.'
"I… I won't." His hand stopped merely inches away from Lucy's face, the flames vanishing. His eyes were wide with horror at what he was about to do, and he cursed internally for nearly losing control. "I'm… sorry. Forget what I said." Natsu paused for a moment. "I'm j-just not feeling up to taken on a job, can we leave it at that?"
Lucy raised her eyes to meet his, and nodded to show that she understood. "O-okay." Lucy reached out, wrapping her delicate finger around his raised fist, in an attempt to force his hand back down to his side. "We'll find a way to fix – "
"Fix what?" Natsu pulled his arm back out of the blonde's grasp, fresh fury lighting a fire in his eye. "Fix me?" The blonde bit her bottom lip, confusion filling every part of her. "I'm not some broken toy that needs to be fixed!"
"That isn't what I meant to say! You've become -"
"Is there something wrong with embracing who I am?" His words sliced through the air with the sharpness of Erza's favorite sword. "There is only one Natsu, and that's me, get that through your fucking skull. Stop looking for something more, it doesn't exist!"
"I… I never!" The blonde cried out, her arms wrapped tightly around her shoulders as Natsu's fury hit her in waves. "Natsu please…"
"This is me; I'm a heartless bastard who doesn't give a shit if you live or die!" Lucy's breath caught in her throat. He was towering over her in a menacing pose that she knew was reserved for people he viewed as a threat.
"Shut up." Lucy lifted her tear filled eyes to meet his fury, head on. "Natsu, something is wrong, please just tell me what it is, and we can work through it, together."
Natsu was bewildered by the statement that came so naturally from Lucy's mouth, along with the soft smile that killed all his hostility. "Leave me alone." His words were soft spoken this time, while he turned to walk away. "Just leave me alone, Lucy."
How long had it been since the last time that Natsu Dragneel had truly smiled? Lucy ticked off the days, counting backward till her mind could conjure the infectious, playful grin that had originally convinced her to come to Fairy Tail in the first place. One month.
Things were much more complicated than just the loss of her friend's smile however; Natsu had been slipping away long before that warm gesture disappeared.
At first, Lucy thought it was a natural reaction to the pressure of catching up with this world; after all, even she was frustrated with the fact that seven years had slipped through their grasp, but soon she realized that there was something much more sinister going on behind the scenes. Her friend was in trouble, and from the looks of it, he was refusing to acknowledge this fact.
The majority of the guild was just as troubled by the changes Natsu was displaying, and several of his friends expressed their concern. Natsu gave the same response every time, simply stating that he was fine, and nothing was out of the ordinary. 'Just who the hell does he think he's fooling?'
Natsu had come to prefer solitude, even in the crowded guild hall; he made every effort to stay out of the immediate vicinity of other people. Lucy had been watching him from her own table for hours, trying to work up the nerve to approach him since it had become rare to catch him at all these days, but the look of defeat on his face stole all her courage away. A cold sweat broke out at the nape of her neck, and her hands began to shake, remembering the blank look in his eyes that day. Lucy cursed under her breath, disgusted with her body's response.
Saying a quick farewell to Wendy and Carla, giving the excuse that she was tired, Lucy pretended to head home. It was only by chance that she had run into Natsu after wondering in the park for over an hour. Something had come over Lucy as she watched Natsu walk down the path, his eyes scanning the tree line as he whispered darkly to himself. She wanted answers, consequences be damned, and so she marched up to him, demanding to know why. Why, was he pushing people away? Why, was he angry all the time? Why, did his eyes look so sad? Why, wouldn't he confide in her?
A part of her knew that if Natsu continued down his current path, he would just grow further away and eventually he wouldn't even acknowledge her existence at all.
A mournful sigh pushed passed her lips; she missed Natsu's cheerful presence, and how the simple act of being near him lifted her own dampened spirits. Or at least it had.
His infectious smile, all full of joy and innocence could brighten the darkest room, and make her world shine. Lucy wanted, more than anything in the world, to see that smile, to hear his laugh again.
The blonde stared at her refection in the window, just beyond her desk, doing her best to imitate the gesture. As she suspected, her smile didn't hold a tenth of the warmth that Natsu's face spread to the point of pain would have.
Lucy let her face fall, examining her pale refection. She knew she felt worn, but the evidence was finally there for the rest of the world to see. She looked sickly, with the slight hollowing of her cheeks from rapid weight loss. Dark shadows had taken up residence under her eyes, that were red from hours spent caught between anger and self-resentment, both bringing a torrent of tears in their wake.
The blonde let her tired eyes slide closed with a groan. She hadn't slept properly for a while, but the last few days had been by far the worst.
Lucy set her pen down, cradling her chin in her upturned palms, allowing her mind wander freely.
She missed her best friend more than she would ever tell anyone else, and in more ways than she was even willing to verbally acknowledge.
Natsu wouldn't take her with him on jobs anymore, and he would never give her a reason as to why, which led them to ridiculous arguments. She didn't want to fight, but he refused to give her the time of day unless she forced herself into his scope of vision. The whole situation was ridiculous!
It started with a refusal to look at a request form, something that she had originally attributed to his constant flow of personal requests, since they had been pouring in by the dozen since the Games. For the first week she simply smiled and agreed to let it go, but soon enough the rejections began to affect her on a more personal level.
Two long weeks had passed when she decided to make her move; he had just finished a private conversation with Master Makarov and she couldn't think of a better time to act.
Lucy had taken a deep breath and approached Natsu, hoping that the Master had been able to get through to him, and that they could go back to the way things had been.
The ensuing fight was something that Lucy had never seen coming, honestly she doubted that anyone could have seen it coming.
Lucy held a wrinkled slip of paper in her hands, shoulders set with determination. Two weeks of rejection was more than enough; she had bills to pay and she needed Natsu for a job that paid well enough to get her out of debt.
The blonde stepped up to her partner, her mouth curling into a tentative smile as she tried to get his attention.
"Natsu, let's go on a job." Natsu didn't even bother with a verbal response, waving off the blonde as he made his way to the bar. His head was pounding from the effort it took to convince his Guild Master to mind his own damn business, and he wasn't in the mood to get into another argument with the most persistent woman he knew (Juvia might give her a run for her money, but in his eyes Lucy was the clear winner).
"Please, just one job. I promise to pull my own weight, but I can't do this one alone." Natsu glanced at the Celestial Mage out of the corner of his eye. As always, she was keeping the mask of absolute confidence on her face, but he could smell it, the overwhelming bitterness of fear. It wasn't as strong on her as it was on the others, but it was there.
"Stop being a nuisance, I have better things to do than baby sit you on a job." Gray had been passing by, trying to find his missing shirt, when he overheard the two conversing. Lucy's hands were shaking while they gripped the paper so tightly her knuckles had gone white, and he could see that she was nearing the brink of tears, again. He had seen Natsu being an ass before, but this was more than anyone should have to endure.
"The hell is your problem?" Gray was done playing nice, he took both hands, grabbing the fabric of Natsu's shirt to keep him from running away. "All she wants is to go on a job."
"Fuck off." Natsu's eyes narrowed. "This has nothing to do with you."
"Like hell it doesn't." Gray pulled, bringing Natsu's face scant inches from his own. "Lucy is my friend, and you keep making her miserable." Natsu's eye twitched, and Gray knew he was getting somewhere. "I knew you were a bastard, but that doesn't give you the right to treat her like dirt." The words were quiet, meant only for Natsu.
A heartbeat of silence passed, as the air around the fire mage increased in temperature. A crack echoed through the guild hall as Gray hit the floor, a flaming fist hovering where he had been standing moments before. Natsu's teeth were clenched, his eyes narrowed and darkened as he watched the Ice Mage stagger back to his feet.
"You don't want to fuck with me right now, Popsicle." Natsu growled low in his throat, letting Gray know that he had ventured into dangerous waters. "Say one more word and I'll burn you to ash."
"Is that so? I'd like to see you try." Gray wiped the back of his hand across his mouth, his dark eyes narrowed as he steadied himself.
The words were barely out of the ice mage's mouth when a punch to the liver doubled him over again.
A low threatening growl permeated the air between the two, and everyone could tell that something was off. The heat generated by Natsu's flames was steadily rising, effectively clearing a circle around the two men, as the guild hall grew silent.
Gray straightened himself, wincing slightly but he looked prepared to take Natsu on full force. His left fist collided with Natsu cheekbone and his right caught Natsu just under the ribs, but the fire mage stood completely unfazed.
Erza, having abandoned her beloved cake at the sound of Lucy's terrified gasp, stepped up to put a stop to their foolishness. Without flinching Erza grabbed both Natsu and Gray's fists momentarily stopping the fight. She opened her mouth to threaten them into submission, as she had done thousands of times before, but the words were cut off when Nastu pulled his hand out of her grip and delivered a flame enhanced roundhouse kick to the back of her head.
Gray watched with wide eyes as Erza collided with a pillar on the other side of the hall, head first.
A collective gasp raced through the crowd when Erza didn't get up.
Natsu was unfazed by the commotion that surrounded the fallen woman, as he advanced on his target once more. Gray was ready for him this time, his fists wrapped in ice. Frustration had been building in the ice mage for a while, as he watched the pretty blonde refuse to give up hope that Natsu was going to come around. He had offered to take her out on a job, more than once actually, but she had given him a sweet smile and refused to go without her 'partner'.
Gray sent a volley of lightning fast strikes to any and every opening his opponent offered, catching the fire mage in the torso and face. Natsu took it all without blocking, and returned the favor, delivering a flurry of flaming rights and lefts, leaving a smoking trail up the other man's stomach and chest.
Gray got in one more solid hit to Natsu's face, in a fruitless effort to knock the Fire Mage on his ass.
One final strike from Natsu, to Gray's side, filled the room with a sickly crunch.
Gray fell to his knees, gasping, with an ungodly amount of blood flying from his mouth.
The two men had fought before, but never like that. Lucy could tell that Natsu wasn't going to stop, in fact his hand was raised in a high arc, ready to lunge forward once more.
Lucy started sobbing, her eyes flicking back and forth between the two men. She couldn't believe what she was seeing, and all she wanted was for it to stop. "Natsu… Please..." She whispered so quietly that it was almost as if no sound came out. Her shoulders shook violently as she watched Natsu's arm move towards the wounded Ice Mage. "Please stop."
Suddenly Natsu froze, the flames on his fist vanishing. He stood there for a long minute, ignoring the sobbing Juvia that had rushed to Gray's side, along with the shouts for someone to find Wendy. Juvia struggled to get the dark haired man to his feet, ignoring his protests as she slung his arm around her shoulders.
Natsu had a blank face as he turned to the door and stalked off.
No one said a word as they righted chairs, and disposed of broken glassware.
Levy offered Lucy a small nudge of encouragement, silently trying to convey that both Gray and Natsu would be ok, while Lucy wiped at the tears trailing down her cheeks.
Someone had to go after Natsu, no, she had to go after him… but Lucy's feet wouldn't move.
She couldn't chase him.
She could barely breathe.
Lucy opened her eyes, staring once more at her own reflection. She had no right to ever call Natsu a coward; she was the one who was scared of her own partner. There was nothing she could do to change how things had happened that day, no way to make her mistake disappear, but she could at least try to make up for it.
Natsu needed her help, whether he wanted to admit it or not was irrelevant. He was suffering, and she could not allow it to continue.
"I won't let you run from me anymore, tomorrow you'll talk to me."
The blonde lifted herself from her chair, and threw her full weight onto the bed.
"I'm going to guide you back Natsu, no matter what it takes."
*hugs* you read all the way though! OMG I love you sooo much! So…. Did you like it? Was it absolutely horrible? Please feel free to leave a review, and give me your honest opinion. I eat flames for breakfast so if you are dissatisfied, let it all out! If you want to attack me on a personal level however, I would appreciate it be done through the PM system! *fidgets* Please R&R… and if you really want, you can Follow or Favorite it… you know… if you want.