THIS SCENE CO-AUTHORED BY AMANDA
ROMEO AND JULIET for Valley Girls
Act 2 Scene 2 ("The Balcony Scene")
Enter Romeo
ROMEO
Like, he really shouldn't laugh at me! He has like absolutely no idea what's going on.
Enter Juliet above
Who is that? Oh! It's Juliet! She is so gorgeous! Like totally. Oh my god! She talks!
JULIET
Yeah...poor me! I'm like so totally bummed out. Sighs
ROMEO
Speak again, my angel. You're more gorgeous than anything in like the mall, and your voice is so hot
JULIET
Romeo, oh, like, why do you have to be named Romeo? That is so totally uncool. Why don't you, like, change your name or something, you know? Or even, like, you can't, but if you, like still love me, I'll, like, change my name, you know?
ROMEO
Should I like say something?
JULIET
It's, like, so silly why you are totally my enemy. I mean like it's just a stupid name. Its not like anything you can touch, or anything. So if you, like, change it to something else, then like everything would be ay-okay, right?
ROMEO
Singing Just tell me you love me, and I will totally change my name. I won't be Romeo anymore! Just for you!
JULIET
Oh my god! Like, who's there?
ROMEO
I cannot tell you my name for you like hate it.
JULIET
Oh my god, oh my god! Is that, like, you Romeo? I mean, aren't you, like, a Montague?
ROMEO
I won't be if you don't like it!
JULIET
Oh my god! How did you, like, get in here? I mean, the walls are, like, so high. And my daddy would, like, kill you for sure if he ever saw you here!
ROMEO
The love that I totally have for you brought me here! Oh let him come! I don't care if I was like faced by a hundred of your father's shot guns
JULIET
Like, Hello! They would like totally blow your brains out, you do realise that?
ROMEO
Your gaze is like more deadly than
your father's bullets, man!
JULIET
But I'd be totally relieved if they, like didn't find you here, you know?
ROMEO
It's dark, man! They will not be able to see me or nothin'! But like if you don't love me, they should totally kill me for their hate than for me to die like totally heart broken from you!
JULIET
Yeah, but you, like, didn't answer my question, y'know? So, like, who told you how to get in here?
ROMEO
Love guided me here, but why does it matter? I would have totally gone to like the farthest mall to be with you!
JULIET
Aww, that is, like, so sweet! Do you, like, love me? Just say so, cause I like totally trust you. I'm not like coming on too fast or anything, right? I mean, like, if that's, like, the case, we can, like, totally slow down if like, you want to. But, like, I do, love you even if I don't, you know, pretend to be, like, all shy and all that! You know?
ROMEO
I swear I love you by the moon above the mall....
JULIET
Like, ew! The moon is like totally unstable. She's like always changing
shape. And I don't like want you to be
like a player or anything.
ROMEO
Then what do you like want me to say?
JULIET
Then, like, don't say anything! Or why don't you, I don't know say you love me by, like, your totally gorgeous self?
ROMEO
Okay, if you want me to....
JULIET
Well, like, never mind. Don't, like, say anything. Its, like, totally out of line, to like, say something like that on a first date, y'know? So g'night! And could you like hit my cell later?
ROMEO
Are you seriously going to leave me like this?
JULIET
Uh...like what?
ROMEO
Um, without you saying you love me?
JULIET
Aw! I like already did, but I'd totally do it again in, like in, a total heartbeat.
ROMEO
You'd like take it back? How could you?
JULIET
So I could, like, say it again, duh. I am like so totally in love with you, y'know?
NURSE
Juliet!
JULIET
Oh my god! I got to go! Like, coming! Could you just, like wait a minute?
She exits
ROMEO
Oh my god! What a night! This has to be a dream. Or maybe....
Re-enter Juliet above
JULIET
I, like, so have to go! If you, like, want to go steady, like, totally hit my cell! But like what time can you call?
NURSE
Juliet!
JULIET
Like, coming! But if you, like, just in it for, like, a one- nighter, like why don't you-
NURSE
Juliet!
JULIET
Like, coming! Whatever! Why don't you just, like, leave me alone to, like, cry?
ROMEO
Oh, I'll wait...
JULIET
So, like, g'night times, like, a thousand!
She exits
ROMEO
And like a thousand times more I wish you were like here. I go to you as gladly as I like leave my studies, but I go from you as gladly as I go to like third period Ceramics!
Romeo starts to leave
Enter Juliet again
JULIET
Psst! Romeo! I, like, love you,
and all, but we have to keep this,
like, totally on the down low, cause of my daddy! But, if I could, I would,
like so call all my girlfriends, and, like, tell
them, like, everything, like ASAP, you know, like know I really would, Romeo.
ROMEO
Oh baby! I just love it when you say my name.
JULIET
But, like, Romeo?
ROMEO
Yeah....
JULIET
Like, what time are you gonna call?
ROMEO
Umm...'bout nine.
JULIET
Totally awesome! But, like, oh my god, it is so long of a time 'till then. Oh, I like totally forgot why I told you to stay.
ROMEO
I can stay here 'till you
remember. I would stay with you forever, you're like so gorgeous!
JULIET
But, then I, like, totally won't remember! And you like have to go! It's, like, almost morning! So, like, G'night! Mwah!
She exits
ROMEO
Sweet dreams, my love! Ay! gotta dip out, I need some mad advice from the priest, man!
He exits