Disclaimer: Glee does not belong to me in any way ... unfortunately.
Rated T, just because I'm paranoid like that ;).
A/N: This is character piece 6 in a series of twelve. Already completed and posted, are: Rachel, Brittany, Quinn, Santana, and Finn (and now, Matt).
I'm so sorry this took me so long :(. I just couldn't seem to get any ideas flowing for anybody. But then this one kind of hit me, and it just rolled out in about an hour! Funny how things seem to roll like that with my muse ... It would have been up this afternoon, but the WiFi in my trailer park is reallyspotty, and it only started working again now.
I really hope you enjoy!
[P.S. Who do you want to see next? ;)]
-0-0-
You don't talk much.
It's not that you don't like to. Or that you're afraid to. Or even that you don't have much to say. (Sometimes, you actually have quite a lot to say. You're a fairly opinionated person, when it comes down to it.) You've just learned that it's best to keep things to yourself. People have few things to judge you on, for starters; few things to hate you for. Not that your opinions are cruel, or anything … you just know that you wouldn't be able to avoid stepping on a few toes if you said everything you thought. Look at Rachel, for instance; she opens up her mouth and honesty pours out … but it's honesty that doesn't need to be said, and that no one likes to hear.
You're a better listener, anyways. And while people tend to be told that they're right after they vent about something, you don't cater to those needs. You find that most of the times they're just appreciative of having someone to vent to in the first place, whether or not they got the reassurance they were seeking.
You're a pretty private person, too.
It goes along with the whole 'not talking' thing.
Not that you go out of your way to hide things about yourself … you just don't go around telling everyone about your life. If someone asks you, there's a pretty good chance that you'll answer, depending on the question; but you don't parade around volunteering the information.
In your opinion, anyone who really cares will ask; and why tell someone if they don't give a shit?
Glee has been a kind of eye-opener for you. You've been just another football player since the beginning of freshman year, blending in with the 'in-crowd' and succumbing to the social expectations of high school in a small town. You've basically been a sheep. You've done some terrible things despite your ever-present conscience, and you've been – on occasion – a jerk.
And now you regret it; because you're sort of friends with all the 'losers' that you used to be above on the hierarchy. Now you are one of those 'losers' that you used to be above on the hierarchy.
And you like it.
Sure, the teasing and the razzing isn't very fun to go through. And you're basically just waiting on the day that you get your first slushie facial. (But you deserve it, in your opinion, after being one of those bullies for so long.) Maybe it won't even be so bad now that you're part of a family, however messed up it is. ('Family' is a terrible metaphor, though, because if you're all siblings there's a whole whack of incest going on, and that's just kind of – read: very – wrong.)
You're happy, now, at the end of the day. You're living your life instead of going through the motions.
And the feeling you get when you're up on stage, no matter what you place when it's over, is really awesome.
(It makes you understand Rachel just a little bit more; even if sometimes her voice starts to sound like a steady annoying frequency when she drones on, and most of the time you're sure that she's at least a little bit clinically insane. You get the motivation behind the things she does, at least, even if sometimes you think that the means are a little out of control for her endgame.)
It's kind of amazing how much you enjoy singing (you're never the lead, and it oftentimes it seems like no one's even hearing your voice above the rest, but it's a kind of power to be up there expressing yourself … to be a part of something that you actually give a damn about, unlike football and basketball), considering the fact that you hardly ever talk.
It actually makes you think about starting to talk more.
Being a part of glee has made you see that there are people who would actually value your opinion; who wouldn't automatically jump down your throat just because you had your own ideas instead of blindly following those of the herd. (That's kind of what glee is all about … not just being different, exactly, but being yourself.) You know, as long as you don't start uncontrollably spouting out criticisms of everyone's performance.
And you're really quite interested to see people's reactions when you finally speak outside of song. You think that it'll be pretty epic; sort of like your previous silence has been a kind of power all its own. You've kind of been biding your time, refraining from saying anything meaningless, waiting until there was something important to say.
You haven't said anything for so long, that when you finally do open your mouth … people won't be able to help but listen.
-0-0-
Please review!