Marceline Journal Entry #1

Okay, so my dad thought I had "anger issues" so he's making me write a stupid diary about my feelings. Let me get this clear. Worst idea ever. I swear to god if someone reads this it will not be pretty. So whoever you are no, put the journal down! I mean it!

I might as well get started on this stupid thing. Today my friend-guy-person-thing, Finn came over. For some reason, he thought it was a good idea to bring that creepy yellow mutt into my house. Does he even know what that dog could of done to Schwabi? Seriously!

The mutt's name was Jake. He had these really big stretchy magical power things. He even beat me at Yoga Hero by twisting into a damn pretzel. I will kill that stupid animal sooner or later. But since he's Finn's friend, I guess I won't. Yet.

Anyways, he also brought that BubblePop or whatever chick. I don't like her. With her whiny little Fiinnnn voice. Oh look at me! I'm the supreme ruler of Candy People. I always actall sweet and like a goody goody. It makes me sick. Seriously. The Vampire Queen vs the Queen of Mushy Candy. Who's gonna win? P.s, it's me.

So I popped in a scary movie about an axe murder but Bubbleyum started screaming her head off. At one point, she even jumped onto Finn's lap. Issues. I swear her tiny dot eyes starting going closer and closer together. She got all pale at my favorite part, where the girl got hacked, while me, Finn, and Jake were all like, "Yahh! WOO HOO!" I think I even saw Finn and Jake exchange money. They were probably betting on who got stabbed first. Boys.

Somewhere near the end of the story, Bubblebutt fell asleep. Let me get this straight. She snores likes a freaking llama. Jake and I wanted to prank her while she was like that, but Finn got all defensive. He was all, "No, guys. You know I love pranking, but on Peebles? Nah."

I think he likes Bubblecandy. He's always so protective of her, and he hangs around with her more than me. I don't like it. I guess I'm a bit jealous, but not in that kind of way. Just, why not pull a prank? It was too bad. To think, I already had the whipped cream and Jake had the feather!

Finn and Jake ended up leaving when it got too late, and they carried Bubblecrown home. A grown woman, who needs to be taken care of a teenager though. Think of it! At least it was fun, but if only I could have sneaked the whipped cream…

Anyway, after they left, I fed some strips of meat to Schwabi. The poor thing. He had been hiding under the couch the whole time. Jake must have scared him to death even if he was already well dead. Come to think of it, how does he even eat? Does it like go through him later or something? Well that's a disturbing thought.

My hand is starting to cramp up now. What kind of stupid idea was this? I still can't believe my dad's making me doing this. Well bye for now I guess.