Welcome, welcome, it's been an impossibly long time since I last wrote a fanfiction. And might I add, this is my very first attempt at a CCS fic! This is simply a long, fluff-filled, dramatic one-shot between everyone's beloved Syaoran and Sakura. Enjoy, and don't forget to R&R!
Disclaimer: Clamp owns CardCaptor Sakura and all characters. I, sadly, do not. sigh
Leaves fell gracefully from the branches of the surrounding trees, kissing the ground lightly in red, violet and golden hues. She closed her eyes, and inhaled deeply, the scent of the autumn air intoxicating her. She smiled wistfully, standing beneath this singular tree, standing proudly among so many others that resembled it.
But this one is special, she thought.
Sighing, she leaned against the trunk of the majestic tree, and slowly let her back slide down it, until she sat upon the ground, the crisp leaves crunching beneath her. She picked up a single leaf, twisting it between her index and her thumb, admiring its vibrant redness. Clenching it tightly within her palm, she closed her eyes painfully, suppressing the tears that were threatening to spring from her emerald eyes.
It had been six years. Six years today. Every year she honored this special day, the day she had found her love, confessed, and dedicated herself to her beloved beneath this very tree. And every year, it became just that much harder to bear the distance. Of course, letters and telephone calls made it easier, but nothing could compare to his smile, his amber eyes glowing with the rare happiness that he felt when he was around her, and his beautiful voice, usually gruff and rude, but soft and gentle when he spoke to her. Nothing could compare to the way he blushed in her presence, to the way he protected her so fiercely, to simply him being there with her, breathing the same air, standing underneath the same sky.
Yes, nothing could compare. Her fist relaxed, and she brushed away the two tears that had dared to trickle down her cheeks, tinted pink with the crisp coldness of the air. The leaf was now crumpled, and she admired it once more, before carefully placing it next to her. She sniffled, partly of sadness, partly of cold.
She hadn't ever told him how much it hurt, how much she yearned for him to return. She understood it would make him troubled, and she would become a burden to him. She loved him dearly, and would never want to make him unhappy or worried. She knew he had business to attend to in Hong Kong, business she dared not ask about, for fear she may hear details that would break her heart.
For secretly, a growing pain had begun to sprout deep in her chest. It was a thought that her cheerfulness, her positive attitude towards life, even her invincible spell, could not dispel. It had started with only a small seedling, mere ponderings when her mind was left to its own devices and the night grew near. The covers drawn over her body, she was more aware of her loneliness without him by her side. And she wondered if her love felt as alone as she. He had never hinted sadness in his letters, nor did his voice sound resigned over the phone. She concluded he must be happy without her. Perhaps he had forgotten his feelings for her, the distance was too much for their young, blossoming love to handle.
Secretly, she wondered if his business in Hong Kong would end in his marriage to another. Could it be that her number one had been engaged to another? A worse thought yet crept into her mind, darker than the last. The wind picked up around her, and she suddenly felt colder. Perhaps he had fallen in love with another?
The thought itself was too much to bear, and she buried her face into her arms. Beneath this protective tree, she was safe, and she allowed the tears to flow freely down her face. Her face contorted with a mixture of myriad emotions. She had tried hard every day to put on a smiling face, to be the cheerful blossom that all knew and loved, but somehow she wilted without him by her side. And now, her frustration, her insecurity, her worries, her loneliness, her sadness, her longing, her love, all poured from her emerald eyes like water from a fountain. She sobbed softly, her voice lost in the gentle winds that caressed her. She found solace in these winds, a caring embrace she had missed for so long, and her heart pained her more than ever. She could almost feel his presence, feel him close to her.
Softly, she heard the crisping of leaves. Footsteps. Quickly, she stifled her sobs, wiped away her tears. But it was no use, whoever it was who was quickly approaching her would see that she had been crying. Her eyes, glimmering chartreuse, were stained red, and clearly revealed the truth behind the smile she tried to find within herself. She hurriedly picked up her belongings and stuffed them into her schoolbag, hoping to make a quick getaway. Perhaps if she was quick enough, she wouldn't have to deal with anyone's curious looks or interrogatory questions. However, just as she sealed the lock on her bookbag, she saw that the person had reached her spot beneath the tree. Sighing inwardly, her mind scanning possible excuses for her appearance, she glanced upward. Her breath caught in her throat.
"S-Syaoran-kun?" she whispered. Her voice was barely audible above the uncontrollable beating in her heart.
Her large glistening eyes met warm amber ones. His thick chocolate hair fell neatly in front of his eyes, but behind it she could see his brow was furrowed, and his face showed concern. His lips pouted just so, and her heart melted. The pain in her heart became unbearable then, and she choked back fresh tears. He was so beautiful, so handsome, and yet, yet she couldn't touch him, his beauty hurt her. Her fears surfaced again, and she turned away.
"Sakura, what's wrong?" he asked, kneeling down in front of her. She gazed fixedly at the ground, and saw the leaf she had placed there earlier. Thoughts flitted in her mind, chaotic. His hand reached out to caress her cool cheek, and his fingertips captured the last vestiges of wetness from her skin. His touch was so warm as compared to the cold air that surrounded them. She shuddered. She tried hard to swallow her sufferings, to look at her only love and smile, but it was impossible.
"I-I-I –" she muttered. She searched her mind for an answer, for the words to say, but all that came to her spirit was a question. "What are you doing here?"
The etches of concern on his face softened. His eyes glowed with warmth, and he looked at her softly. "I wanted to ask you a question, and I thought it was important that I ask you face to face. It was all very last minute, and I needed to ask you right away," he said, his voice gentle and low. At this she looked up at him, curious.
"I-It's about love," he said, blushing. He diverted his eyes, suddenly finding new interest in the colorful ground. He had practiced this so many times on the plane from Hong Kong, he was sure he would remember what to say when he finally saw her again. But now, kneeling in front of her, his tongue twisted, he was finding it very difficult to find the words he had so carefully chosen only the night before.
"Sakura, I have chosen the person I would like to marry," he finally said. They were not the words he had originally wanted to say, but hopefully they conveyed his emotions as much. Standing before his beautiful cherry blossom, he blushed, his usually cold barrier melting away and his heart racing a thousand miles a minute. His self-confidence had melted with it, and now he kneeled, embarrassed, before the most wonderful girl he had ever met.
Her heart skipped a beat. Swallowing difficultly, she finally mustered to open her mouth. "D-Dare?" she asked. Afraid to hear the answer, her heart clenched, her mind closed off. Inside, she shook her head, covered her ears, escaped from the pain she was sure she would feel when her lovely wolf, her best friend, her only love, would tell her he had found another. A long silence ensued, and Sakura started to open her mouth again. Deciding against it, she simply nodded.
"Wakarimasu," she said simply. Her voice was shaky, thin, thinner than the very air that seemed to chill her to the bone. She began to wrap her fingers around her schoolbag handle, when two warm hands placed themselves upon her own. She looked up at his amber eyes, and memorized them. They were beautiful, reflecting the very colors of the autumn leaves that were scattered on the ground, as passionate as the very leaf she had admired only moments ago. In them she saw emotions that, curiously, mirrored her own. Worry, insecurity, frustration, mixed with passion, embarrassment, joy, wonderment, and... love?
"I... That is, would... I mean – I would like... Would you...?" he pieced together confusedly. His cheeks betrayed his embarrassment, flushed crimson. He looked at her earnestly, and cocked his head to one side. Taking a deep breath, he composed his thoughts.
"Isshou kimi no soba ni isasete onegaishimasu." he finally said. The words felt new in his mouth; he had always imagined proposing to her in Chinese, but here and now, the words in Japanese seemed perfect.
Please let me be by your side for the rest of my life.
Her eyes widened. With the sound of those words, her fears, her every worry, evaporated into the blue skies, leaving a beautiful smile on her face. She could hardly believe her ears. She closed her eyes, and smiled. Her heart now beat faster than ever, fluttering within her chest, struggling to express the immense joy she felt.
He loves me. He loves me. He loves me.
"I'll spend every day of my life in the greatest happiness if you are by my side, Syaoran." she said finally, tears in her eyes once again. These made her eyes glow with elation, her emerald jewels glimmering with the purest love.
Throwing her arms around his neck, she embraced him tightly, finally closing the gap between their bodies. Burying her face into his chest, she inhaled deeply, and her eyes fluttered closed. He gently placed his hands on her shoulders, and lifted both their bodies off the crisp ground. Standing now, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in closer. His nose in her hair, he nuzzled her affectionately, and whispered a secret in her ear.
A single leaf, burning red, lifted off the ground, carried by the clement winds of autumn. Rising into the sapphire skies, it flew higher and higher, disappearing into the heavens, the sole witness to an undying love.
Aishiteru.
Author's Notes: Quite dramatic, no? I would like to say that this is the most descriptive fanfiction I have written so far. I really wanted to try to capture Sakura's emotions, and not to rush through her feelings too much. I always felt that the anime focused so much on Syaoran's feelings for Sakura that we rarely understand Sakura's for Syaoran, until the 2nd movie. And even then, her feelings aren't dealt with in the same way Syaoran's were. This was kind of to make up for that.
Also, I apologize if Sakura appears a little bit out of character. I realize she's meant to be a cheerful, happy, positive girl, but in the anime she did lose her cheerfulness the day after Syaoran confessed his love for her, ne? I think confusion makes her unhappy, and she does seem to have at least a few insecurities, like when she didn't want to show Eriol the teddy bear she made, or the way she reacts when complimented.
Also, I figured after six years most people mature in unexpected ways. She is no longer a twelve year old girl struggling with love, but an eighteen year old young woman dealing with more mature feelings. Although she still is the dense Sakura we all know and love!
So there, that is my rant of the day! Don't forget to R&R, make me happy! Comments, compliments, constructive criticism, are all welcome.
Translations:
Dare? – Who?
Wakarimasu... – I understand...
And in case it isn't quite clear:
Isshou kimi no soba ni isasete onegaishimasu. – Please let me be by your side for the rest of my life.
Aishiteru – I love you