A/N: This is one of my other fanfics (all are wips btw, but I'm working on this one bc it's the shortest (I think)) and this is my second-most-recent fanfic. I don't know how things work on this site (yet). This one is sorta short for now and I won't update it much because of he- I mean school.

Also I was going to name this "Daddy" but... that would sound... inappropriate.

This is an AU, where the FLDSMDFR can talk. Also this is in Flint's POV...

Chapter 1 [2.13.10]

I picked up the last box. It was very heavy, for some odd reason.

"I have too many boxes!" I groaned as I carried the box to the table, where the other parts were.

I planned to repair and reprogram my machine, a machine that turns water into food using microwave radiation. It got overloaded and nearly destroyed the world. If my father hadn't sent me the Kill Code, I wouldn't be here right now.

I set the box on the table with the others. Suddenly, the box started moving. It rolled itself off the table and onto the floor. It froze, then moved again; it landed right at my feet. I bent down to the box, which decided to stop moving as soon as it hit my feet, and opened it. Inside was the FLDSMDFR. It was no longer black and red like I last saw it; it was its original colors, white and orange. It looked at me in a strange way and said, "Daddy?"

I was shocked. I never programmed it to speak anything other than food names. The fact that it said "daddy?" made me even more worried.

"Daddy?" It asked again.

May as well figure out what it needs, I thought to myself, half gingerly, half annoyed.

I touched it. It was freezing cold. No, more than that; it was -273 degrees Kelvin! I took one of my blankets off the bed and wrapped the machine in the blanket. I then found a random shoe box and put a pillow in it. I put the machine in the box; it purred in response.

I slumped down onto my bed and groaned an "ugh!" Then, my machine stood on top of my stomach and asked inquisitively, "Daddy hurt?"

"No," I responded. "Just a little bit tired."

"Why?" It asked.

"I lifted heavy stuff," I said, starting to get annoyed.

"Why?"

"Because metal is heavy."

"Why?"

I gave it a sharp glare, hoping it would get the hint to shut up, but it asked again, "Why?"

"I don't know! How is water wet?!" I snapped at the machine, who was in deep thought. It hesitated for a moment, went over to my desk and knocked a stack of letters off my desk. "Paper," It said joyfully. "Paper!"

I groaned. "Yes, that's paper. Please don't destroy my lab."

It proceed to knock more paper off of my desk, every so often screaming "Paper!"

It still is doing that now, as I write here.

Book that can't tell me anything, tell me how I'm to cope with this machine that's turning into this metal version of Steve?