A/N: This is one of the fics I wrote for my precious tumblr waifu, Alex, who celebrated her birthday on the 30th. Once again, happy birthday, sweetie~
He was sitting in Majiba, slowly sipping his shake, the taste of vanilla smoothing out his sharpened senses and allowing him to relax. In the seat in front of him Kagami was munching on another one of his burgers, the wall separating them formed of the rest nearly half way gone. With a small smile Tetsuya watched him take the last bite, crush the wrapper in his hand and toss it carelessly on the tray. He didn't even end chewing the piece in his mouth when he reached for another. It reminded Tetsuya of Aomine, he always had a big appetite after practice, much like Kagami. He took another sip of his milkshake to hide his smile.
They were so alike, he thought. At first glance there was nothing that could prove his observation, but when you had the patience to look deeper, you began to notice. Their eating habits, basketball style, the flame in their eyes as they spotted a worthy opponent. It was all the same, and as Kagami looked up at him from his burger, Tetsuya could swear that for a moment he saw Aomine sitting there with a smile on his face. He blinked and the illusion was gone.
'Why are you looking at me like that?' Kagami asked, getting another bite as big as half the burger. 'If you're hungry, take one,' the tray was pushed his way.
Tetsuya shook his head with a smile. 'No, thank you, I'm not hungry,' he said softly. 'You just remind me of Aomine-kun. He and I used to come here a lot in middle school.'
With a noncommittal hum from Kagami, they lapsed back into silence. When the other resumed eating, Tetsuya looked out the window. It was getting late, the sun setting the tall buildings aflame with orange rays reflected in the wide windows. He remembered walking the same bathed in the sun streets with Aomine, the other boy smiling at him brightly, his heart light of worry. He remembered smiling back at him, as if the other's happiness fuelled his own. He remembered holding his hand, rough from handling basketballs ever since he was a child, but warm like the sun kissing his skin. And he remembered his breath on his face, how he smelled of sweat and sun, and how cold his lips were in contrast with the fingers that softly touched his cheek.
He turned away from the window. It was no use to think of that time, it was gone and never coming back. Tetsuya gave an almost inaudible sigh and sipped on his milkshake. Aomine was different now, changed in a way he couldn't always comprehend. He knew there was a lot of grief and reproach for how the things ended, a lot of hate and longing, and even more hurt and vulnerability. Aomine might not say anything, but Tetsuya was fairly sure that his presence was making everything worse. Every time they met, be it on purpose or accident, he noticed how the broad shoulders tensed and how the other's face closed off momentarily.
It hurt, it really did. But he pushed his feelings away ruthlessly. He made this mistake once, he was not about to repeat it again. In middle school Aomine was left alone to cope with his problems, god only knows Tetsuya had a fair share on his mind back then as well. That's why now he vowed to dedicate himself to the other, as little a contribution as it was to relieve his pain. He closed off his feelings, he closed off the part of him that wanted to take Aomine in his arms, he closed it all off behind the cold, steel door. This was not about him, this was about Aomine and bringing back his love for basketball.
Slowly, but surely, it worked. Kagami also helped a lot in that process, the match with Touou stinging Tetsuya's eyes as he blinked the memories away. It was over now, Aomine was nearly healed, his heart mending the wounds and sealing them with freshly found excitement of a new challenge. Tetsuya was happy, relieved and grateful, but most of all happy that the other was back on the right path.
It stung a bit every time he saw Aomine smile, not the pure heartfelt smile but the half-smirk that did not always reach his eyes. They weren't dating, they were hardly even friends, too much painful history between them to get past it in one go, but Tetsuya hoped. He hoped that one day, one day Aomine may be ready to move past the hurt and see him again as he once had. And till that day, he would bottle his feelings, shut them off, and pretend everything was okay.
Playing with the straw, he didn't notice Kagami looking at him with a pensive frown on his face. 'You should call him,' he said and Tetsuya startled as the silence was suddenly broken. He looked up, confused. 'Aomine,' Kagami continued. 'You should call him.'
'What brought this on?' he sat up straighter and sipped on his shake to hide his surprise.
'You're not the only one who can observe people, you know,' Kagami said with a pointed stare. 'Your face changes when you think of him. Sometimes you get that small smile that makes me jealous for no reason, and other times you look as if you were in pain. Like now.'
He never gave Kagami's observational skills much thought, but what he said just now seemed to be correct. He knew that was true, and he knew Kagami was right.
'I'm not in pain,' he looked the other in the eye to reassure him. 'It's just that…' he stopped to find the right words to express his feelings, '…we have a lot of history between us. Not always pleasant.'
'That's why you should call him,' Kagami nodded. 'Clear it up.'
'It's not that easy,' Tetsuya shook his head. 'And he's probably busy anyway,' he added, running away with his gaze to the side. The unspoken 'he doesn't want to see me' hung in the air.
'He can't be too busy for his boyfriend, unbusy him,' Kagami shrugged, but his eyes were strangely vigilant.
A crooked, nostalgic smile lifted a corner of Tetsuya's mouth. 'I'm not-' he started but stopped. 'We're not-' he stopped again, surprised by how hard it was to say it out loud. He thought of this a lot, he told himself many times that they weren't together anymore. But saying that to someone else was different, so much more difficult. 'Not anymore,' he said instead, hoping the other would understand.
Kagami was silent for a moment, contemplating his words. Tetsuya knew he meant well, but nothing the other could do or say would change how Aomine felt. And right now, he didn't feel anything of this kind for Tetsuya. He was sure of that.
'Are you okay with that?' his partner asked carefully.
To be honest, Tetsuya wasn't so sure. He suffered through it because he had to, he couldn't just pressure Aomine into something that could very well destroy all the progress they made. And even more than that, he was simply afraid. Of the change, of how it would affect them both, he was scared.
'I have to be,' he answered Kagami with a somewhat strained smile. 'At least for now.'
Red eyes looked at him worriedly, and he ignored it, just as he ignored the pang of pain all this thinking of Aomine brought. He took another sip of his milkshake, finishing it in one gulp.
'We should go,' he said standing up and pretending not to notice the concern visible in the way the other's mouth was pulled in a frown.
Without a word, Kagami followed him. The evening air was a blessing, and Tetsuya breathed in deeply, half-closing his eyes and the tingle as the chilled air entered his lungs. His breath hitched when he noticed the figure making its way towards where they stood, heart painfully skipping a beat. He felt Kagami's eyes on him, but he feigned ignorance.
'Good evening, Aomine-kun,' he greeted calmly as the other got closer.
'Yo,' Aomine said, glaring at Kagami, who answered with no less heat. Tetsuya sighed at the both of them. They really were alike.
'What are you doing here this late?' he asked to stop the silent battle between the two.
'My parents aren't home, so I came here for dinner,' Aomine shrugged. 'Better this than Satsuki's cooking,' he shivered at the mere mention.
'What, you can't even cook?' Kagami snorted, clearly amused.
'So what if I can't?' Aomine bristled. 'Men are not expected to be able to cook, what are you, a housewife?' he smirked at Kagami.
Tetsuya resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Sometimes they were like small children, really. 'We should go, Kagami-kun,' he interrupted before the other could spit back another insult. 'It was nice seeing you, Aomine-kun.'
He pushed Kagami towards the almost empty street. Aomine didn't reply, but the doorbell told Tetsuya he went inside. He avoided Kagami's gaze as they walked in silence. Seeing Aomine so soon after their conversation made him realize, he wanted to be with Aomine, he wanted to date him, he wanted all that they had before and all that they would have if the past didn't happen. He wasn't okay with how they tiptoed around each other, he wasn't okay with how much he hurt just to make sure Aomine didn't, he wasn't okay. At all.
He stopped, the decision forming in his mind without his permission. When he looked up, he noticed Kagami looking at him with a small smile. He didn't have to say anything, the other pushed his shoulder lightly with an urgent 'go' and Tetsuya did just that, offering Kagami a smile in return. He really chose his partner well, he thought.
It wasn't difficult to spot Aomine as he reentered Majiba. He was sitting at the table next to the one he and Kagami occupied before, staring out the window. Tetsuya slipped into the chair in front of him unnoticed, and only when he reached for one of Aomine's burgers, did dark blue eyes widen at his presence. The other teen quickly composed himself, he was used to the trick after all. Somehow it made Tetsuya feel better.
'What are you doing here, Tetsu?' Aomine asked, biting into his burger.
'Remember, back in middle school, you used to say I should eat more,' he said, calmly unwrapping one of the stolen burgers. 'I'm talking your words to heart.'
Small steps. That's all they needed right now. Slowly, very slowly get back to how their friendship started, and from then on they could start anew. Build up a relationship they could both be comfortable with, one based on trust and support. Small, baby steps, Tetsuya thought again. Like eating together, talking, just spending the time with each other. Small steps he was okay with, this was enough. Just those baby steps.
'Took you long enough to realize that,' Aomine smirked lightly.
'Yes,' he agreed with a small smile. 'It did.'
This is probably the last of the KnB fics you see from me for a while. I'm taking a break from writing for this fandom (tho I might post some long lost fics I find in my old notes) to focus more on HQ! Hope you'll stay with me ;3
Reviews, anyone?