Disclaimer:- Don't own them just borrowing!
Episode:- None
Pairing:- Gerry/Sandra
Rating:-K+
Achieve:- . /group/new_tricksff/
Summary:- Brian receives a letter of warning from Jack
Author's Note:- When I published I Hope you Dance it was intended to be a standalone slightly sad slightly happy bit of angst but since then there have been murmurings about other letters so I'm adding this part and calling it the "From the Grave" Series and this is story number 3! Lyrics for this bit are from "Those were the days my friend" Each of the pieces could really be read alone but it's always better to read them in order.
Those were the days – From the grave Series 3
"Are you ok?" Esther asked quietly as Brian sat at the kitchen table looking at the envelope in front of him.
"Yeah I am, it's over know, everyone knows and he's with Mary he's happy." Brian replied smiling sadly as Esther kissed the top of his head and left him to his thoughts as he lifted Jack's letter and started to read.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX X
Dear Brian,
Thank you. I know the last few months must have been hard for you, impossible almost and I am so grateful that you were able to keep my secret. You should know that it made things easier to know that someone knew what was really happening and that you were that person. Now my friend I have some things to say to you, a favour to return, because I have a feeling things may be about to change and I know how much you hate that.
Once upon a time there used to be a tavern
Were we used to raise a glass or two
Remember how we laughed away the hours
And dreamed of all the great things we would do
So much is different now Brian. I look back at how things were when we joined the force when we used to work in our own ways and that was what everyone did. We had days and nights fuelled by the buzz of finding the bad guys the old fashioned way and it was what kept us coming back the next day. When we joined U.C.O.S I know we both thought it would be the same and I know we both found that it wasn't but I think you'll agree it was so much better. Those years we all worked together, became a family of sorts were some of the happiest of my life and I know they were for you too. We left behind the ideals we used to work by and got a whole new set and you became a better person because of it just like I did.
Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
Before I got ill I, like you, thought that we'd never lose that feeling of coming home that work as a team give us but you need to know that things change and will change again and hard as it is for you I'm telling you it will be ok. You are loved by those around you remember that and even with your aversion to change nothing seems impossible to deal with. You are great at what we do, you bring a special element to a team that would be lost without you and that's what I want you to remember now when I tell you what I think is about to happen.
The busy years went rushing by
We lost our starry notions along the way
If by chance I'd see you in the tavern
We'd smile at one another
The last decade has flown by in the blink of an eye and while it was something was happening that you and I were too busy or too blind to see. Sandra and Gerry have been slowly falling for each other. I can see the complete indignation on your face now Brian but I promise you it's true. I've written to him and told him to do something about it and I have a feeling he will so you need to accept that there are going to be changes but if you trust me you'll let them happen. You have to let things run their course Brian and believe me when I tell you that whether they are together, whether you all stay at U.C.O.S or not they are your family and nothing will change their feelings for you.
Just tonight I stood before the tavern
Nothing seemed the way it used to be
In the glass I saw a strange reflection
Was that lonely man really me?
If you feel yourself panic, if it all seems too much and you feel the need to retreat, to run I want you to remember something. I want you to think back to before U.C.O.S. You remember what it was like I know you do because I've never forgotten the lack of direction to your days; the loneliness; the seemingly endless days of retirement stretching ahead. Sandra saved us all those years ago and we owe her the right to be happy. She has closed in on us, protected us even when we didn't know she was or wouldn't believe that was what she was doing. Now it's time for her to get something back. I believe Gerry can make her happy, can fill the gap we've always known there was in her life. She stopped loneliness being our future now it's time to return the favour. I've done my bit now it's your turn accept it accept the change and you won't regret it I promise.
Through the door there came familiar laughter
I saw your face and heard you call my name
Oh my friend we're older but no wiser
For in our hearts the dreams are still the same
Anyway I know it will be hard for you no matter what but I hope that in this case having the warning will make it easier. Your job now is to keep living my friend to enjoy the days, to enjoy your friends and to appreciate what you have. Appreciate Esther, love her every day and thank your lucky stars that she is there to share your old age with you. She's a wonderful woman, one of a kind and you are lucky to have had her throughout your life.
Someday we'll meet again and when we do I'll look forward to being educated by you on all things only you have ever known. We'll catch up again, laugh, talk reminisce just like we have in life. So until then try to embrace the changes Brian, try to accept them for what they are and remember I'll always be watching so if you need someone to talk to just whisper your worries to me, I may not be able to answer you but I will always be listening.
Live well my friend
Jack
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXX
Handing the letter to Esther as she set a cup of tea in front of him Brian stared out the window at the inky black sky. Change? Could he ever really just let things happen and accept that change can be good?
"I'll try Jack" he said quietly as Esther stood by his side resting her head on his shoulder. "I can't make any promises about how well I'll do but I promise to try."
"You'll be fine," Esther smiled as she handed him back the letter. "Jack knows what he's talking about and he's right. You're surrounded by people who love you so even when it's hard there's always someone to help."
"I know love." He sighed turning his back on the window and taking a deep breath. If Jack could do what he did, go away and die alone because he cared enough not to make them watch him die then he could care enough to try and that's exactly what he planned to do.