THE AMAZING, INCREDIBLE, MIND-BOGGLING ADVENTURES OF TABLE-HEADED SERVICE DRONE BOB!
Part One: Becoming one with the stars (literally)
"It was so good for the Tallest to give me my own battleship!"
"mmpphh?"
"I finally have a shot at tank commander! I really wnat to blow things up! Now, to send this thing somewhere..."
"mmpphhmmph"
"That's funny. The controls are locked."
"mph!"
"Oh well, I guess it's locked on auto-pilot until I leave the system or...something"
"mmmphmm!"
"I can already smell the fear of my enemies as I rain doom on them!"
"MMPPPHH!!"
"No longer will the universe take Zim for granted! Soon victory shall be MINE!"
"mph...pfft...THE SUN! THE SUN!! WE'RE FALLING INTO THE SUUUUNNN!!!!"
"What the...?" uttered Zim in surprise. He had just been granted his first meaty piece of war equipment for some time and now some joker had found his way aboard to spoil his fun. Stupid hitch-hikers. He left the seat and looked round the back, where he found, to his astonishment, possibly the smallest Irken he had ever seen. He was tied to the chair and had some violently chewed off duck-tape attached to his face. He was white with fear.
"Th...the..th..th..SUN! SUN! THERE! SUN!" He uttered. His words were lost on Zim. He was pre-occupied with the possibility of using this incredible war machine on some poor unsuspecting people. Who these people were was irrelevent to him, so long as they were scared of HIM. In Zim's mind, all he saw was himself, standing victorious against all enemies. In the poor little Irken he saw in front of him, all he saw was a glory-hogger.
"Look, I don't know what you think you're doing but this is my ship!" said a disgusted Zim, "I won't have someone sneaking aboard and stealing it from me! How you got tied up 'n all is a bit of a mystery, but we'll sort it out in due course, as soon as I chuck you out an airlock!"
"WE'RE FALLING INTO A STAR YOU DELUSIONAL RETARD!" the Irken screamed, "look behind you!" Zim couldn't help but look, after all, what could the Irken do? He was tied up. In the screen on the other side of the main bridge, he saw a blazing globe of gases, fusing and boiling, and the course they were heading was plotted electronically, straight into it's centre. Zim gulped.
"I knew it! You booby-trapped this ship somehow! Trying to ruin the hour of glory for ZIM!" Zim accused, "no, wait. That can't be right, you're still onboard, and tied up. Sooo...you must have tried to sabotage my ship, but someone else beat you to it! Well, top marks for trying."
"I don't care about your stupid ship, just GET ME OUT OF HERE!!" the Irken shouted.
"Right! Right," Zim looked at the screen, a mass of Irken symbols signifying...things, "we have around ten minutes before we enter the sun's atmosphere. Whoever did this probably did something about the escape pods..."
"Actually, the escape pods are an integrated part of the ship's infrastructure, they can't just jettison them," said the small Irken, demonstrating an unexpected grasp of starship design, "all they probably did was lock them down. I might be able to bypass it if you let me out of this rope."
"Are you suggesting I let you go? Do you really think you can fool Zim this way!?" asked Zim.
"IT'S THAT OR GET BURNED TO A CRISP, MORON!" yelled the smaller Irken. Momentarily shocked, Zim relented and cut the Irken loose with a spider leg from his pak. The Irken immediately rushed to another corner of a bridge next to a door labeled in Irken 'go on! run like a chicken! I dares ya! bwaaakbwakbwakbwaaak!' and tore off a panel, revealing a morass of wiring.
"Are you a mechanic or something?" asked Zim.
"Actually, I was until recently a table-headed service drone," answered the Irken.
"Yet you know a lot about machinery?" enquired Zim.
"Heh, it's a hobby," responded the Irken, a spark from the panel signifying that he had succeeded, "now we can...HEY!" In the space of a few seconds Zim had rushed through the open door, closed it, and was now making raspberries as the escape pod drifted away from the ship and jetted away. The Irken was not pleased.
"NO! NO NO NO NO NONONONONONOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" the Irken was banging desperately against the window of the pod, as if his anger might have somehow made the pod come back. Warning claxons had started going off and the outer hull was just beginning to burn up. The Irken, tears rolling down his face, yelling all kinds of expletives at the window, decided to head-butt the door just for effect. In his state of mind the impact was harder than his future health would have appreciated. He stumbled onto the ground, disorieted, and finally everything went to black...
TO BE CONTINUED...
Part One: Becoming one with the stars (literally)
"It was so good for the Tallest to give me my own battleship!"
"mmpphh?"
"I finally have a shot at tank commander! I really wnat to blow things up! Now, to send this thing somewhere..."
"mmpphhmmph"
"That's funny. The controls are locked."
"mph!"
"Oh well, I guess it's locked on auto-pilot until I leave the system or...something"
"mmmphmm!"
"I can already smell the fear of my enemies as I rain doom on them!"
"MMPPPHH!!"
"No longer will the universe take Zim for granted! Soon victory shall be MINE!"
"mph...pfft...THE SUN! THE SUN!! WE'RE FALLING INTO THE SUUUUNNN!!!!"
"What the...?" uttered Zim in surprise. He had just been granted his first meaty piece of war equipment for some time and now some joker had found his way aboard to spoil his fun. Stupid hitch-hikers. He left the seat and looked round the back, where he found, to his astonishment, possibly the smallest Irken he had ever seen. He was tied to the chair and had some violently chewed off duck-tape attached to his face. He was white with fear.
"Th...the..th..th..SUN! SUN! THERE! SUN!" He uttered. His words were lost on Zim. He was pre-occupied with the possibility of using this incredible war machine on some poor unsuspecting people. Who these people were was irrelevent to him, so long as they were scared of HIM. In Zim's mind, all he saw was himself, standing victorious against all enemies. In the poor little Irken he saw in front of him, all he saw was a glory-hogger.
"Look, I don't know what you think you're doing but this is my ship!" said a disgusted Zim, "I won't have someone sneaking aboard and stealing it from me! How you got tied up 'n all is a bit of a mystery, but we'll sort it out in due course, as soon as I chuck you out an airlock!"
"WE'RE FALLING INTO A STAR YOU DELUSIONAL RETARD!" the Irken screamed, "look behind you!" Zim couldn't help but look, after all, what could the Irken do? He was tied up. In the screen on the other side of the main bridge, he saw a blazing globe of gases, fusing and boiling, and the course they were heading was plotted electronically, straight into it's centre. Zim gulped.
"I knew it! You booby-trapped this ship somehow! Trying to ruin the hour of glory for ZIM!" Zim accused, "no, wait. That can't be right, you're still onboard, and tied up. Sooo...you must have tried to sabotage my ship, but someone else beat you to it! Well, top marks for trying."
"I don't care about your stupid ship, just GET ME OUT OF HERE!!" the Irken shouted.
"Right! Right," Zim looked at the screen, a mass of Irken symbols signifying...things, "we have around ten minutes before we enter the sun's atmosphere. Whoever did this probably did something about the escape pods..."
"Actually, the escape pods are an integrated part of the ship's infrastructure, they can't just jettison them," said the small Irken, demonstrating an unexpected grasp of starship design, "all they probably did was lock them down. I might be able to bypass it if you let me out of this rope."
"Are you suggesting I let you go? Do you really think you can fool Zim this way!?" asked Zim.
"IT'S THAT OR GET BURNED TO A CRISP, MORON!" yelled the smaller Irken. Momentarily shocked, Zim relented and cut the Irken loose with a spider leg from his pak. The Irken immediately rushed to another corner of a bridge next to a door labeled in Irken 'go on! run like a chicken! I dares ya! bwaaakbwakbwakbwaaak!' and tore off a panel, revealing a morass of wiring.
"Are you a mechanic or something?" asked Zim.
"Actually, I was until recently a table-headed service drone," answered the Irken.
"Yet you know a lot about machinery?" enquired Zim.
"Heh, it's a hobby," responded the Irken, a spark from the panel signifying that he had succeeded, "now we can...HEY!" In the space of a few seconds Zim had rushed through the open door, closed it, and was now making raspberries as the escape pod drifted away from the ship and jetted away. The Irken was not pleased.
"NO! NO NO NO NO NONONONONONOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" the Irken was banging desperately against the window of the pod, as if his anger might have somehow made the pod come back. Warning claxons had started going off and the outer hull was just beginning to burn up. The Irken, tears rolling down his face, yelling all kinds of expletives at the window, decided to head-butt the door just for effect. In his state of mind the impact was harder than his future health would have appreciated. He stumbled onto the ground, disorieted, and finally everything went to black...
TO BE CONTINUED...