Title: Revelation Day
Author: Allie P.
Summary: Grissom decides it is time to share his secret, but things don't go exactly as he hoped -- not even remotely.
Rating: PG
Category: Humor
Spoilers: Hunger Artist & later episodes
Acknowledgements: Thanks to Carrie Krumtum for encouragement and beta-reading.
Disclaimer: CSI and its characters belong to Anthony Zuiker and CBS Broadcasting Company. This story was produced for amusement only. No money has changed hands in its making.
--------------
Gil Grissom knew that he had put things off long enough. It was becoming more and more difficult to hide his growing hearing loss from his co-workers. As difficult as it was for him to share personal information, he knew it would only become harder if he waited much longer. His bouts of "fade-out" were becoming more and more frequent, and he had already had several close calls.
It wasn't that he didn't trust his team. They were all mature adults. They would understand. They weren't just his co-workers -- he was starting to realize that they were his friends as well. Family even. Grissom took a deep breath and looked around to see who was about. The first person he saw was Greg, dancing wildly in his lab, probably killing time while he awaited the results of a test. Grissom shrugged and decided he might as well start with Greg. There should be no playing favorites with information like this.
Greg saw Grissom coming and practically fell over himself getting to the boom box in time to turn it down. He barely made it. Turning back toward Grissom, he gave his boss a goofy grin. "Hey Griss. Just waiting for those results you asked for yesterday."
"Greg, sit down." Grissom didn't want the gangly young lab tech breaking any important test tubes when he heard the news.
"What did I do now?" Greg looked worried, but did as he was told and sat on the stool next to the boom box.
"Nothing Greg, I just have some news. You're the first one I saw tonight, so you get to hear it first. I'm going deaf."
"Deaf?!" Greg's eyes popped open. "How? Why? When?"
"Otosclerosis. It's a hereditary condition I inherited from my mother. It's progressive, and so far it hasn't gotten too bad. Every once in a while, though, my hearing goes out almost completely." Just then, as if on cue, the background noise in the room faded into nothingness. He shook his head, knowing it would not help but unable to stop himself from trying. "Damn. There it goes again."
Greg was saying something to him. Grissom tried to read his lips, but only caught the last three words. "... can't hear now?"
Grissom nodded. "It's gone. It will probably be a few minutes before it comes back up."
Grissom noticed Greg's hand inching over to the counter. Looking back at Greg's face, he saw a wide smile on the tech's face. Grissom looked at Greg's lips and tried to tell what he was saying now. "...music... can't bother..." Greg's hand reached the boom box and flipped it back on, cranking the switch labeled "Volume" up to the top.
Grissom couldn't believe it. Greg was taking advantage of his bout of deafness to play his music full-blast. "No Greg, I guess the music can't bother me now." Turning on his heels, Grissom stalked out of the lab as Greg started his wild gyrations again.
***
By the time Grissom reached the end of the hall, his hearing had faded back in. He saw Nick and Warrick sitting in the break room and decided to try his news out on them next. These two young men were like sons to him -- they would take the news hard, he was sure, but he had faith that they would handle it with dignity.
"Nick, Warrick, I'm glad I caught you. I have some news."
The two CSIs put down their coffee mugs and looked at him expectantly.
"I've been having some trouble lately, so I had some tests at the doctor. I'm going deaf."
Nick furrowed his brow. "What?"
Grissom rephrased. "I'm losing my hearing."
Warrick leaned forward. "What did you say?"
"I've going deaf, guys."
Nick tipped his head to one side. "I'm sorry, I thought you said you're going left."
"Deaf, Nick, deaf, not left," Grissom corrected.
Warrick grabbed Nick's shoulder. "No, Nick, he didn't say left, he said he lost his earring. When did you start wearing an earring, Griss?"
Grissom shook his head. "No, no, I'm losing my HEARING, not an earring. I have otosclerosis."
Nick cupped his hand behind his ear. "Oto what? You'll have to enunciate better, boss, I can't understand you."
By now Warrick had crawled under the table. "Help me out here, Nick, we need to find Grissom's earring."
Nick joined him under the table. "Look to the left, Warrick." Finally the two CSIs lost their composure and had collapsed on the floor, tears streaming down their faces.
Realization dawned on Grissom at last. These two were having their fun with him. Pretending they couldn't hear *him* -- this was just a low blow. He slammed out of the room, leaving the two CSIs holding their sides with laughter.
***
Grissom stalked down the corridor, fuming over the childishness of his staff. Just then he saw Jim Brass walking toward the exit. Brass -- Grissom knew he could count on Jim to take this seriously. An experienced police captain, Brass was not some goofy kid who would try to turn Grissom's problem into a joke. Grissom hurried to catch up with him just before Brass reached the door to the parking lot. "Brass! Wait up!"
"Gil -- hey." Brass nodded a greeting to Grissom but kept heading for the door.
"Can we talk, Jim?"
"I'm due at the courthouse in 10 minutes, but you can walk me to my car. What's up?"
Grissom decided to just blurt it out this time. "I have otosclerosis."
"Auto what?"
"Otosclerosis. It's a progressive disease of the ear."
"Ear? Oh, man, for a minute I thought your car was sick. What does this mean?"
"I'm going deaf."
"Deaf! Wow. When?" Brass narrowed his eyes and looked at Grissom. "I mean, can you hear me now?"
"Yes, I'm not deaf yet," Grissom explained.
"Good."
"My hearing goes out for a minute or so once in a while, but it's going to get worse."
Brass looked at his watch, obviously concerned about being late for his court appearance. He backed up a few feet toward his car. "Once in a while, huh? Does it matter how loud the sound is?" Brass lowered his voice a bit as he walked toward his car. "Can you hear me now?"
Grissom smiled and nodded.
"Good." Brass had reached his car, about 25 feet away from where Grissom stood. He pulled open the door, then turned back toward Grissom. "Can you hear me now?"
Grissom furrowed his brow. This was getting annoying. He nodded.
"Good." Brass pulled the car door shut behind him and rolled down the window a bit. "Can you hear me now?"
Grissom clenched his jaw. Brass was being a major pain. This was not how this conversation was supposed to go. "Yes, Jim, I can hear you now."
Brass laughed and started the car. "Good. Can you hear me now?"
Grissom decided he had put up with just about enough of this. He flipped Brass off.
"Good..." He could hear Brass laughing as he drove out of the parking lot. Another "Can you hear me now?" drifted out the car window as Brass turned onto the street. "Good...."
***
Grissom tried to put his encounter with Brass out of his mind. He headed back to his office and ran into Catherine there. "Oh, great, Cath, I wanted to talk to you. I have been meaning to let you and the others know something about my situation."
Catherine raised her eyebrows at him. "Situation?"
Grissom sat on the edge of his desk. "Yes. Catherine, I'm having problems with my hearing. My mother, remember? I never mentioned to you that her condition was hereditary. I was hoping I would be lucky, but unfortunately the doctor has confirmed that my hearing is deteriorating."
Catherine sat for a moment, apparently absorbing this new information. Finally she spoke. "::mumble:: people ::mumble:: hearing."
"What?" He could barely hear what she was saying. Strange, this didn't *feel* like one of his "fade-out" moments. The rest of the background noise in the office didn't sound muffled, just Catherine's voice.
"::mumble:: sexy ::mumble:: hard ::mumble:: hearing."
"I'm sorry, can you say that again?"
Catherine took a deep breath and belted out, "I HEAR THAT SEXY PEOPLE ARE HARD OF HEARING!"
Grissom practically fell backwards at the sudden loudness of her voice. Clearly he *wasn't* having a "fade-out" moment. Catherine had been deliberately mumbling in order to make her joke.
"Ha, ha, very funny Catherine."
She laughed and pinched his cheek. "You're so funny when you're mad." She brushed past him and twirled his desk chair around, then plopped down in it and looked up at him. "This chair is comfortable. I won't need to order a new one."
"Order a new chair? What are you talking about?"
"When I take over your job. You won't be needing this chair anymore, and I am *long* overdue for my own office." She started rifling through the drawers in his desk. "What have you got in here?"
At this point, she was no longer talking to him, just muttering to herself. Grissom stalked out of the office, his teeth on edge. The nerve of her, making a joke of his... his *tragedy*, and then jumping to the conclusion that he would be quitting. His chair wasn't even cold yet and she was already taking over his office.
***
This was just too much. Grissom wanted, needed, a sympathetic ear today of all days. He didn't have the energy to face anyone else for now, so he headed to the morgue where he could hopefully be alone with a friendly corpse or two.
But solitude was not so easy to find in the busy Las Vegas Coroner's wing. Just a few minutes after Grissom snuck into the autopsy room to hide out for a bit, Doc Robbins arrived with a new "customer." Robbins had his assistant move the body to one of the examining tables and then noticed Grissom sulking in the corner. "Grissom! You're in my autopsy room. This isn't your case, so make yourself scarce."
Grissom opened his mouth to protest. "But I have news...."
"I've heard all about your news, Grissom, and do you know what this is?" Doc Robbins was rubbing his thumb and his forefinger together in the air. Grissom just stared at him. "This is the world's smallest violin, playing just for you. Get over it." Robbins turned his back to Grissom and pulled up a stool by the autopsy table. He adjusted the knee joint on one of his prosthetic legs, smacking the side of it to coax it into bending properly so he could sit down. Turning back toward the door, he called after Grissom's retreating form. "And don't think this means you can get that prime disabled parking spot by the door. That baby is mine!"
***
There was practically no one left to tell. No one, of course, except Sara. Grissom sat down at his desk and rubbed the bridge of his nose. How would Sara take his news? Their relationship had always been so complicated.
Just then, Sara slammed into his office, setting off the Big Mouth Billy Bass over the door. She stormed over to face Grissom and planted her two hands on his desk. "I heard about your news, Grissom. And you know what?"
Grissom leaned backward, instinctively trying to make more room between the two of them. The heat of Sara's anger practically radiated out from her whole body. "What, Sara?"
"You are NOT ALLOWED to go DEAF until I have had a CHANCE to TELL YOU OFF."
Grissom gaped at her. "Not allowed?"
Sara started poking him in the chest with her index finger. "You HEARD ME, Buster. Don't you DARE go DEAF until I've had MY SAY."
Grissom got up and edged around his desk, making a break for the door as Sara shouted something about a plant. He ran all the way down the hall and out to his car, starting it up and screeching out of the parking lot before Sara or anyone could catch up with him. The CSI team gathered at the door, watching him burn rubber down the street.
Catherine was the first to speak. "Serves him right. He should have told us earlier."
Warrick nodded. "Did he think we hadn't noticed? How long was he going to wait to tell us?"
Sara was grinning ear to ear, pleased that she had been the one to send Grissom over the edge. "I'll bet that will be the last time Grissom tries to hide information from us."
The team high-fived each other and headed back inside, ready to get back to work. Grissom would calm down eventually. If not, well... they'd never hear the end of it.
-fin-
Author: Allie P.
Summary: Grissom decides it is time to share his secret, but things don't go exactly as he hoped -- not even remotely.
Rating: PG
Category: Humor
Spoilers: Hunger Artist & later episodes
Acknowledgements: Thanks to Carrie Krumtum for encouragement and beta-reading.
Disclaimer: CSI and its characters belong to Anthony Zuiker and CBS Broadcasting Company. This story was produced for amusement only. No money has changed hands in its making.
--------------
Gil Grissom knew that he had put things off long enough. It was becoming more and more difficult to hide his growing hearing loss from his co-workers. As difficult as it was for him to share personal information, he knew it would only become harder if he waited much longer. His bouts of "fade-out" were becoming more and more frequent, and he had already had several close calls.
It wasn't that he didn't trust his team. They were all mature adults. They would understand. They weren't just his co-workers -- he was starting to realize that they were his friends as well. Family even. Grissom took a deep breath and looked around to see who was about. The first person he saw was Greg, dancing wildly in his lab, probably killing time while he awaited the results of a test. Grissom shrugged and decided he might as well start with Greg. There should be no playing favorites with information like this.
Greg saw Grissom coming and practically fell over himself getting to the boom box in time to turn it down. He barely made it. Turning back toward Grissom, he gave his boss a goofy grin. "Hey Griss. Just waiting for those results you asked for yesterday."
"Greg, sit down." Grissom didn't want the gangly young lab tech breaking any important test tubes when he heard the news.
"What did I do now?" Greg looked worried, but did as he was told and sat on the stool next to the boom box.
"Nothing Greg, I just have some news. You're the first one I saw tonight, so you get to hear it first. I'm going deaf."
"Deaf?!" Greg's eyes popped open. "How? Why? When?"
"Otosclerosis. It's a hereditary condition I inherited from my mother. It's progressive, and so far it hasn't gotten too bad. Every once in a while, though, my hearing goes out almost completely." Just then, as if on cue, the background noise in the room faded into nothingness. He shook his head, knowing it would not help but unable to stop himself from trying. "Damn. There it goes again."
Greg was saying something to him. Grissom tried to read his lips, but only caught the last three words. "... can't hear now?"
Grissom nodded. "It's gone. It will probably be a few minutes before it comes back up."
Grissom noticed Greg's hand inching over to the counter. Looking back at Greg's face, he saw a wide smile on the tech's face. Grissom looked at Greg's lips and tried to tell what he was saying now. "...music... can't bother..." Greg's hand reached the boom box and flipped it back on, cranking the switch labeled "Volume" up to the top.
Grissom couldn't believe it. Greg was taking advantage of his bout of deafness to play his music full-blast. "No Greg, I guess the music can't bother me now." Turning on his heels, Grissom stalked out of the lab as Greg started his wild gyrations again.
***
By the time Grissom reached the end of the hall, his hearing had faded back in. He saw Nick and Warrick sitting in the break room and decided to try his news out on them next. These two young men were like sons to him -- they would take the news hard, he was sure, but he had faith that they would handle it with dignity.
"Nick, Warrick, I'm glad I caught you. I have some news."
The two CSIs put down their coffee mugs and looked at him expectantly.
"I've been having some trouble lately, so I had some tests at the doctor. I'm going deaf."
Nick furrowed his brow. "What?"
Grissom rephrased. "I'm losing my hearing."
Warrick leaned forward. "What did you say?"
"I've going deaf, guys."
Nick tipped his head to one side. "I'm sorry, I thought you said you're going left."
"Deaf, Nick, deaf, not left," Grissom corrected.
Warrick grabbed Nick's shoulder. "No, Nick, he didn't say left, he said he lost his earring. When did you start wearing an earring, Griss?"
Grissom shook his head. "No, no, I'm losing my HEARING, not an earring. I have otosclerosis."
Nick cupped his hand behind his ear. "Oto what? You'll have to enunciate better, boss, I can't understand you."
By now Warrick had crawled under the table. "Help me out here, Nick, we need to find Grissom's earring."
Nick joined him under the table. "Look to the left, Warrick." Finally the two CSIs lost their composure and had collapsed on the floor, tears streaming down their faces.
Realization dawned on Grissom at last. These two were having their fun with him. Pretending they couldn't hear *him* -- this was just a low blow. He slammed out of the room, leaving the two CSIs holding their sides with laughter.
***
Grissom stalked down the corridor, fuming over the childishness of his staff. Just then he saw Jim Brass walking toward the exit. Brass -- Grissom knew he could count on Jim to take this seriously. An experienced police captain, Brass was not some goofy kid who would try to turn Grissom's problem into a joke. Grissom hurried to catch up with him just before Brass reached the door to the parking lot. "Brass! Wait up!"
"Gil -- hey." Brass nodded a greeting to Grissom but kept heading for the door.
"Can we talk, Jim?"
"I'm due at the courthouse in 10 minutes, but you can walk me to my car. What's up?"
Grissom decided to just blurt it out this time. "I have otosclerosis."
"Auto what?"
"Otosclerosis. It's a progressive disease of the ear."
"Ear? Oh, man, for a minute I thought your car was sick. What does this mean?"
"I'm going deaf."
"Deaf! Wow. When?" Brass narrowed his eyes and looked at Grissom. "I mean, can you hear me now?"
"Yes, I'm not deaf yet," Grissom explained.
"Good."
"My hearing goes out for a minute or so once in a while, but it's going to get worse."
Brass looked at his watch, obviously concerned about being late for his court appearance. He backed up a few feet toward his car. "Once in a while, huh? Does it matter how loud the sound is?" Brass lowered his voice a bit as he walked toward his car. "Can you hear me now?"
Grissom smiled and nodded.
"Good." Brass had reached his car, about 25 feet away from where Grissom stood. He pulled open the door, then turned back toward Grissom. "Can you hear me now?"
Grissom furrowed his brow. This was getting annoying. He nodded.
"Good." Brass pulled the car door shut behind him and rolled down the window a bit. "Can you hear me now?"
Grissom clenched his jaw. Brass was being a major pain. This was not how this conversation was supposed to go. "Yes, Jim, I can hear you now."
Brass laughed and started the car. "Good. Can you hear me now?"
Grissom decided he had put up with just about enough of this. He flipped Brass off.
"Good..." He could hear Brass laughing as he drove out of the parking lot. Another "Can you hear me now?" drifted out the car window as Brass turned onto the street. "Good...."
***
Grissom tried to put his encounter with Brass out of his mind. He headed back to his office and ran into Catherine there. "Oh, great, Cath, I wanted to talk to you. I have been meaning to let you and the others know something about my situation."
Catherine raised her eyebrows at him. "Situation?"
Grissom sat on the edge of his desk. "Yes. Catherine, I'm having problems with my hearing. My mother, remember? I never mentioned to you that her condition was hereditary. I was hoping I would be lucky, but unfortunately the doctor has confirmed that my hearing is deteriorating."
Catherine sat for a moment, apparently absorbing this new information. Finally she spoke. "::mumble:: people ::mumble:: hearing."
"What?" He could barely hear what she was saying. Strange, this didn't *feel* like one of his "fade-out" moments. The rest of the background noise in the office didn't sound muffled, just Catherine's voice.
"::mumble:: sexy ::mumble:: hard ::mumble:: hearing."
"I'm sorry, can you say that again?"
Catherine took a deep breath and belted out, "I HEAR THAT SEXY PEOPLE ARE HARD OF HEARING!"
Grissom practically fell backwards at the sudden loudness of her voice. Clearly he *wasn't* having a "fade-out" moment. Catherine had been deliberately mumbling in order to make her joke.
"Ha, ha, very funny Catherine."
She laughed and pinched his cheek. "You're so funny when you're mad." She brushed past him and twirled his desk chair around, then plopped down in it and looked up at him. "This chair is comfortable. I won't need to order a new one."
"Order a new chair? What are you talking about?"
"When I take over your job. You won't be needing this chair anymore, and I am *long* overdue for my own office." She started rifling through the drawers in his desk. "What have you got in here?"
At this point, she was no longer talking to him, just muttering to herself. Grissom stalked out of the office, his teeth on edge. The nerve of her, making a joke of his... his *tragedy*, and then jumping to the conclusion that he would be quitting. His chair wasn't even cold yet and she was already taking over his office.
***
This was just too much. Grissom wanted, needed, a sympathetic ear today of all days. He didn't have the energy to face anyone else for now, so he headed to the morgue where he could hopefully be alone with a friendly corpse or two.
But solitude was not so easy to find in the busy Las Vegas Coroner's wing. Just a few minutes after Grissom snuck into the autopsy room to hide out for a bit, Doc Robbins arrived with a new "customer." Robbins had his assistant move the body to one of the examining tables and then noticed Grissom sulking in the corner. "Grissom! You're in my autopsy room. This isn't your case, so make yourself scarce."
Grissom opened his mouth to protest. "But I have news...."
"I've heard all about your news, Grissom, and do you know what this is?" Doc Robbins was rubbing his thumb and his forefinger together in the air. Grissom just stared at him. "This is the world's smallest violin, playing just for you. Get over it." Robbins turned his back to Grissom and pulled up a stool by the autopsy table. He adjusted the knee joint on one of his prosthetic legs, smacking the side of it to coax it into bending properly so he could sit down. Turning back toward the door, he called after Grissom's retreating form. "And don't think this means you can get that prime disabled parking spot by the door. That baby is mine!"
***
There was practically no one left to tell. No one, of course, except Sara. Grissom sat down at his desk and rubbed the bridge of his nose. How would Sara take his news? Their relationship had always been so complicated.
Just then, Sara slammed into his office, setting off the Big Mouth Billy Bass over the door. She stormed over to face Grissom and planted her two hands on his desk. "I heard about your news, Grissom. And you know what?"
Grissom leaned backward, instinctively trying to make more room between the two of them. The heat of Sara's anger practically radiated out from her whole body. "What, Sara?"
"You are NOT ALLOWED to go DEAF until I have had a CHANCE to TELL YOU OFF."
Grissom gaped at her. "Not allowed?"
Sara started poking him in the chest with her index finger. "You HEARD ME, Buster. Don't you DARE go DEAF until I've had MY SAY."
Grissom got up and edged around his desk, making a break for the door as Sara shouted something about a plant. He ran all the way down the hall and out to his car, starting it up and screeching out of the parking lot before Sara or anyone could catch up with him. The CSI team gathered at the door, watching him burn rubber down the street.
Catherine was the first to speak. "Serves him right. He should have told us earlier."
Warrick nodded. "Did he think we hadn't noticed? How long was he going to wait to tell us?"
Sara was grinning ear to ear, pleased that she had been the one to send Grissom over the edge. "I'll bet that will be the last time Grissom tries to hide information from us."
The team high-fived each other and headed back inside, ready to get back to work. Grissom would calm down eventually. If not, well... they'd never hear the end of it.
-fin-