Just a shorty that I wrote early one Sunday morning. And, insert usual disclaimer, Diablo belongs to Blizzard, whatever doesn't belong to them belongs to me.
*Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent…
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"Damn!" I shouted at the computer monitor. I could feel my dog's head rise to look at me, concerned by my sudden anger. "That's the third time you've died down there, you stupid idiot!" My necromancer wasn't doing so well in the Jail levels of Normal.
"Well, let's get rid of the stupid throwing knives then, and try something else." I hit escape and sent his new self over to Charsi to pick up a new sword. "Can't get the hang of this, should just go back to my javazon in Hell. At least she can stay alive!" I railed at the little man on my screen.
We summoned a clay golem, and off we went back through the waypoint and into the jail levels again, running endlessly—pause to regain stamina—to retrieve his worthless corpse. We finished off the monsters in the room, and continued on.
A short time later… "I can't carry anymore." He complained to me, as he almost died picking something up when he should have been attacking.
"Okay, that's it! It's back to the javazon we go." And we opened a town portal and returned to the Rogue Encampment. I had him ID and sell all the stuff he was carrying—"Why did you pick up bolts?"—clean up his stash, and prepare for departure to the world of Diablo never never land.
I took a few deep breaths to relax myself, then lifted my finger of God to press the Escape key and end my pathetic necromancer's adventures for the day.
But to my surprise a blue portal suddenly opened there in the camp in front of him. And to my horror a blue portal opened up next to me!
My dog and I looked at each other, looked at the portal, looked back to each other…
I slowly got out of my chair. "What the…"
Suddenly he stepped through it. My necromancer stood before me. He held out his hand. "Come, maiden. You will join me now."
I couldn't stop myself from nervously laughing. "Okay, I think I've been playing a little too long today. I'm seeing things. You're not really standing there, are you?"
"I am as real as you are." He said quietly, then grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards him. "You will follow me now."
"Wait!" I tried to pull my arm away.
"You are coming, regardless your feelings." And he started dragging me towards the portal.
"At least let me prepare." I pleaded with him. He stopped and released me, motioning I should go proceed.
He followed me, surprisingly uncurious about the world around him, as I made sure the doors to the house were locked, the alarm was set, and as I wrote a note to my husband and taped it to my monitor.
"Raider!" I called to my dog, bringing him partway out of his hiding spot. "Some protector you are… You coming or staying?"
He cocked his head at me.
"Wanna go for a portal ride?" He burst out of his hiding spot and danced around my legs, forgetting all about his fear of the necromancer.
"If you are ready now…" the man inquired, trying to suppress a smile as he watched the forty-pound fur ball bounce around.
I nodded, suddenly terrified, and he ushered me towards the blue portal. I summoned my courage and stepped through.
I was shocked by my transformation as I stepped through the other side. I was different. "Holy crap!" I was a sorceress. I could feel the magic flowing within me as I looked down at my armor in amazement. I reached back and pulled a lock of my hair forward, but it was still a pale honey-blonde. I was still me, only better.
A warm, fuzzy body brushed against me, and I looked down to find my pup had been transformed into the curly-tailed wolf he thought himself to be. I could almost hear him say, "This is so cool!" And he bounded off to explore.
"Come," the necromancer beckoned. "There are others you must meet." And he led me through the surprisingly large, tent-filled encampment towards the central fire.
I was shocked to find a large group of characters standing there. And characters they truly were, when I looked closely. There were my three sorceresses, my two amazons, and my paladin, assassin, and druid. They all stopped to stare at me, some with hate, a couple with respect.
"Kaanan." I called the necromancer by the name I had given him. "Why have you brought me here?"
"We have all called you here, not just I. It is time you learned." He gestured towards the others. "We are real people who have bled and died, and then died again for you. You see those urns some of the others are holding? Those are the ashes of the characters you have deleted. It is time you walked a mile in our shoes and learned to respect the lives you create and then send into hell to fight for you. As I am your newest, lowest-level character, we will accompany each other through our quests."
"Hold on. You expect me to go out there and fight?"
"Yes, and we will not stop until the title Slayer has been bestowed upon us. We will start at the beginning with the Den of Evil right now. Tomorrow we will take on Blood Raven."
"But I have to go to work tomorrow!"
"Your life is here now, little sorc. Get used to it."
"Bye, bye!" "Have fun!" "Be sure to die at least once!" The others heckled as we departed the camp.
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Okay, that was not fun. The Den of Evil was more frightening than I had imagined. And I had no idea how to control my powers. Kaanan just stood back most of the time and let me get overrun by zombies and monsters, the jerk. I made a promise to myself that as soon as I knew what the hell I was actually doing, I would be hitting the old hostile button. We returned to the camp as the day faded into night, and the others were still there waiting.
"Well met, young sorceress." The paladin greeted me. "You didn't even die once. Perhaps there is hope for you, after all."
"Uh, thanks… I guess."
The paladin turned to Kaanan. "As it looks like you have everything in hand, we shall depart. Call us if you have trouble with her."
"I don't think there'll be any problems." He confidently stated.
Hostile, hostile, hostile, hostile… just you wait buddy. I seethed.
"Farewell, I'll see you at the Christmas party." And the paladin and the others left the main square for the waypoint.
Suddenly a newsflash echoed through the camp. Mule has entered our world. Diablo's forces grow stronger.
"Mule?" Kaanan grimaced at the funny name.
"Woo hoo!" I cheered. "Here comes the rescue team!"
And then, pop! There was a barbarian standing in front of us.
"Honey, is that you?" The barbarian, a mule I had stored on my husband's computer asked.
"Yup! Ain't it great." I did a little twirl for him. "I really am a sorceress."
"Okay, but can you come home now. I'm hungry."
Kaanan pushed between us. "She's not going anywhere until we have completed our quests."
"Who the hell are you?" The barbarian loomed over the necromancer.
"I am Kaanan, Priest of Rathma, and your worst nightmare if you get in my way."
"We'll see about that." The barbarian growled, and suddenly he was gone.
Mule has left our world. Diablo's forces grow weaker.
"Well, he scared away easily enough."
Hellslayer has entered our world. Diablo's forces grow stronger.
"Ooooo… you're in trouble now." I teased. And pop! Suddenly a level 99 amazon in gleaming white armor stood before us.
The amazon laughed, maniacally. "Let's take this outside, little man." HOSTILE!
"Oh crap!" Kaanan squeeked. He opened a blue portal. "We'll continue this next time your husband is out of town on business."
"He never goes out of town on business." I sighed, a little sad I'd have to leave my powers behind.
"Hurry up!" The amazon bellowed. "I'm really hungry!"
Hellslayer has left our world. Diablo's forces grow weaker.
I called my dog back to my side. "Well, it's been… an adventure."
"If you ever want to come back…"
"I'll call."
And I stepped through the portal, back into the real world.