Ascent and Descent
Azula was perfect. It was no secret to anyone; she simply radiated perfection with everything she did. Everyone knew her. Everyone admired her. Everyone loved her.
Well, love wasn't quite the right word. They respected her, feared her, even, and that was how she preferred it. She felt quite secure in her self in that regard.
The alternative was unacceptable.
The Fire Princess had always known that she was exceptional, but true prodigies are only as remarkable as the counterpart they outshine. Therein lay her brother's true purpose to Azula's thinking. He was pathetic and spineless and completely, well, unremarkable.
It really was a shame that she hadn't been born first. She really was better suited for the birthright, anyway. Everyone who'd been fortunate (or unfortunate, depending on Azula's mood) to meet her would agree.
Except for one person.
Though she would rather strike lightning into her own heart before admitting it, this person still haunted Azula in her journey to achieving perfection, because no matter what she did, no matter how perfect she was, nothing was ever enough for her mother. Ursa would just look at her with that troubled expression, not of fear and awe that she'd come to expect, but of concern and perhaps just a bit of disgust.
Azula would be the first to say that she was glad her mother had disappeared from her life. And she really was. Mostly.
Now she was nearly a grown woman, she caught little hints of her traitorous mother in her own reflection, clothed in the same shade of maroon in sharp angles across her shoulders. But unlike her mother, this color on Azula radiated an understated power, a strength that Ursa had been too gentle and meek to seize. Ursa never deserved to wear the crown she'd tossed aside.
Azula still vividly remembered the day that Ursa had vanished. Just hours before the coronation ceremony, she caught her father in the hall and dared to venture a question.
"Father, where is Mother?" she asked. Her tone was flat, betraying just the slightest measure of curiosity, but in her heart, she could not quite dismiss the twinge of hurt that preyed on her weak sentimentality and buried insecurities.
The soon-to-be-crowned Fire Lord Ozai adjusted his collar in the reflection of the obsidian columns. He responded, "Never you mind that, Azula. Ursa is a traitor, and has abandoned this family and this nation. She is long gone."
"Oh." She said with a light, matter-of-fact-tone. Something about her mother's vague disappearance was nagging at her, but who was she to question her father?
She bowed low to her father and waited to be dismissed before scampering off. She dashed by the front courtyard and caught a glimpse of her brother, glumly running his fingers through the water of the pond with those stupid turtle ducks Mother always doted on.
Ha, what a sad little loser.
Azula, that was unkind.
The words entered her mind and drew her to an abrupt halt. The image of her mother, standing above her, hands tucked into her sleeves, a concerned frown on her face was conjured before her like a terrible phantom. She gritted her teeth and clenched her fists.
"Father says kindness is weakness," Azula told her, "and he made sure that you can't ever look down on me like that anymore."
But the floodgates had opened. She recalled time after time when her mother had spoken to her in that same belittling tone, so full of sugary disappointment and resignation. It made her sick.
Azula, that hairclip from your uncle looked so pretty on you, why did you destroy it?
It was ugly and useless. I don't need those stupid girly things.
Azula, why did you hurt that child?
I don't know… I just wanted to.
Azula, what are you doing to that poor animal?
Nothing. I'm just practicing.
Azula, why must you be so cruel to your brother?
It's his fault for being such a crybaby.
Azula—
STOP!
Azula shook the image of her traitorous mother from her head with newfound resolve. She marched into the courtyard and stood behind her brother. She held her stance behind him, taking a deep breath and conjuring that exhilarating feeling inside her chest where her endless reserve of power resided, ready to deliver the final blow.
And then, inexplicably, she lowered her hand.
For many years to come, Azula would wonder why she didn't just do away with her stupid brother right then and there. She would dismiss it as an act that was so far beneath her it wasn't worth the effort.
But…maybe…just a very small part of her…maybe that part of her that still kept a piece of her soft, weak mother had made her pause.
It was both fear and loathing of that little part of her that drove her to do whatever it took to destroy every last trace of Ursa, of weakness and insecurity from her otherwise perfect existence. Now, she was trained and better than ever. Now, she was not kind, she was strong and clever. Now, she was the Fire Princess, prized daughter of Fire Lord Ozai. Now, she truly was perfect.
Now, standing on the deck of the ship that marked the course for her pathetic disgrace of a brother and a useless excuse of an uncle, Azula was determined to finish what she'd been too weak to do all those years ago. She adjusted the tight sleeves, the same color her mother had always worn, and let a small smirk cross her face.
"See you soon, Zuzu."
Author's Note:
Team: Earth Kingdom
Category: Theme (Security)
Prompt: Maroon
Word Count: 917
This is my themed submission for round 3 of the ATLA writing competition! The prompt was maroon, and the first thing to come to mind with that color was Ursa, Zuko's mother. BUT then I thought about Azula, who also wears maroon (though as more of an accent color) and looks an awful lot like her mother from time to time, and that made me think of how difficult that must be for her. Azula is such a fascinating character, so I wanted to write a little piece about that internal conflict in her, basically like Ozai v. Ursa featuring violence and internal screaming, so security in this theme is all about self-image and insecurity vs. security in that respect. Hope you liked it!