Hello there Guys!

I am back.

Please don't be mad,

I think you guys are waiting for In the Flowers.

I will continue it, Not to worry.

I don't Adore flowers,

I just like it.

He Left, Left me with a single white rose on my bed, Purity, He wants to go, A clean break, I didn't cry, I only sighed my sorrow, through my everyday life.

School is, well, school.

Boring, and meaningless, I couldn't stop myself glancing at the Cullen table, Hoping, miraculously, that they would be there, And yet, everyday, Empty, just like the wind.

I am glad Angela was here though, she'd give me her gentle pep talks,

And Jake, the wonders that boy could do, They caught Victoria before she and Laurent could get close to me, Oh, and Jake imprinted, but we still do the reckless things I know we would do, And the Rose, it showed no signs of wilting, no signs of giving up.

I was zooming my bike through Our path, My and Jake's practicing path for motorbikes, when I suddenly remembered my promise,

Nothing Reckless or Stupid, No, this isn't reckless or stupid, That's why I practice right? To be safe? I wish I could hear him, and yet every night I dream, I couldn't find him, and the horrible truth would always catch up and stab my at my heart, There was nothing to find..

And then, I would wake up screaming, the horrible truth mocking me,

There was nothing to find, just the cold emptiness enveloping me, no cold, protective, loving arms that I would always wish around me, I look to my computer desk, there it was, on a crystalline vase, the beautiful rose mocking me, it is very beautiful, the moonlight hitting it just like it was glowing, making it very ethereal, So very like and yet very unlike Edward,

That name, it brought shivers sown my spine, I smiled slightly, and want to hold it, I leaned back on the window, casting shadows upon the white flower, I twirled it in my hand, and bought it to my nose: Sweet, light and delicate, it looked so very magnificent, Edward was the same, All vampires are the same, they have the thorns where you'll get hurt, Beautiful and Dangerous,

I looked outside, and stared at the moon,

"If only you are here, you know, I don't know why you left me, and I know that I am never going to be enough for you, I don't know what you saw in me, and yet, I knew, I love you..." I whispered in the night, I whispered to the moon, " I know, right now, somehow, we are looking at the same moon, I just wanted you to know, I would love you, no matter what happens, My words are true..." I said, clutching the delicate rose gently to my chest, "I just don't want to live, I just want you to know, I will to live, for you, and if everything else fails, I hope immortality can be the deceitful escape.."I breathed, I gently kissed the rose, "I hope, that even if you have distractions, You will still remember me, even in a negative way, 'Cause I know, that you will never leave my memory, And so, Tonight, I end this funeral," I said, holding the rose slightly away from myself, "The destruction of this wonderful companion, shall be the last nail in the coffin of Isabella Marie Swan.." I smiled sadly, I began picking at the rose, tears streaming from my face..

"I remember the times we spent together,

All those drives,

We had a million questions all about our lives,

And when we got to New York everything felt right,

I wish you were here with me,

Tonight..

I remember the days we spent together were not enough,

And you still feel like dreaming except we always woke up,

Never thought not having you here would hurt to much,

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up,

I need your loving hands to come and pick me up,

And every night I miss you,

I can just look up,

And know the stars are holding you,

Holding you Holding you tonight,

I remember the time you told about when you were eight,

And all those things you said that night that just couldn't wait,

I remember the car you were last seen in,

and the games we would play,

All the times we spilled our coffees,

and stayed out way too late,

I remember the time you sat and told me all about your Jesus,

And how not to look back even if no one believes us,

When it hurts so bad sometimes not having you here..

I say "Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up,

I need your loving hands to come and pick me up,

And every night I miss you,

I can just look up,

And know the stars are holding you,

Holding you Holding you tonight,"

I say"Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up,

I need your loving hands to come and pick me up,

And every night I miss you,

I can just look up,

And know the stars are holding you,

Holding you Holding you tonight,"

I sang softly, all the while picking at the flower, tears streaming down my cheeks,I kissed the one last petal before letting it fall from my hands,

I tore the stem, and gathered everything in my hands, I held them first to my chest, let my tears drop on them, and let them be blown away by the wind..

I walked to my bed and laid on it, I wiped my tears from my face, and withdrew all my walls, I cried.

I cried for the loss of my supposed-to-be Family, I cried because, I know somehow, Jasper was out there, Blaming himself, I cried because I miss every one so dearly, Because I would never hear Emmett crack jokes, because I wouldn't be able to see Rosalie, even though she hates me I have already cared for her, I cried because I miss Carlisle and Esme, I cried because I miss Alice even if she treated me like a barbie, even if everything was just for Edward, even if everything was pretend, I cried for Edward, for fooling me, I cried because I love him, I am crying because I love him, more than anything, I wiped my eyes, and I promised myself that I would stay numb,

And I will.

Hi Guys! Miss me?:D

Do you like it? You think I should continue?

I will continue In the Flowers,

I just forgot the password of my file..:D

I know. Stupid right? Sorry.

Please forgive me, I was also on my deathbed these past few days...

Oh well.

Review would be lovely.

Love Lots.

OchreEyes.