There are some stories like this out there, with Haruhi falling in love with all the guys and vice-versa, but I did want to do my take on it. Also, for funsies, I'm going to throw Kasanoda and Nekozawa into the mix later, but I'm still debating with myself as to whether they should dramatically fall for Haruhi as well. Do you think they should? Well, it is a little early to be asking. Read on, lovelies!
DISCLAIMER: Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and Honey-sempai will kill you! Oops, I meant to say... Honey-sempai is too! Seriously though, I don't own OHSHC, so don't come asking me for a picuture of Tamaki wooing Haruhi.
XOXOXOXOXOX
Haruhi quietly walked down the hallway. It was time for another host meeting... right after school. And she had so much homework to do too! For once, she wished she could skip out on these silly host club meetings. But sly Kyouya would probably add another three million yen to her already large debt. Dammit! She had to serve her way out of this mess... she didn't have a choice.
It had been three weeks since Haruhi was converted into the 'natural' host. She had fifteen regular customers, all of whom she enjoyed talking to, but at that rate she wouldn't pay off the money she owed until well out of high school. Curses. Why hadn't she caught the expensive vase? Why? She wasn't clumsy at all! Oh, wait...
"Tamaki... the day I went to the abandoned music room just to find out it was a host club. He had me all jumpy because he can't respect people's personal space." Haruhi sighed sadly. "But that doesn't make any difference. I am the one who stumbled backwards and made it fall off. Tamaki didn't make me fall backwards... or did he?"
As Haruhi tried to remember the exact events of that fateful day three weeks ago, her legs steered her unconsciously to the host club. She was at the door before she could remember. Curse her short term memory. Oh well, at least she wasn't the club's real dog anymore. She was more of a, what did Kyoya like to phrase it as? Oh yeah. An indentured servant who was being treated much better than a real servant. Humph.
Haruhi blew at her bangs, then pushed open the pink door to the club.
A wave of rose-smelling air washed over her, and when Haruhi stepped inside she couldn't help but groan. The boys were all dressed up in cos-play costumes. They all looked like characters from the book series Harry Potter. Haruhi hadn't liked the series. It wasn't her type of book.
"Aaaah, welcome, my little Hermione!" crooned Tamaki. He rose up from his usual center chair that he always sat in while the boys (and Haruhi) waited for the clients. Tamaki drifted over to Haruhi, waving his arms about, and he was just about to hug her when Haruhi sidestepped him and said:
"What the hell happened to your hair?"
Tamaki looked astonished and a little bit hurt. "Why, don't you recognize me, Hermione? I'm Harry Potter! And don't let daddy hear you curse!"
'Okay...' Haruhi thought. Tamaki's hair was dyed a jet black, and it was unusually messy. He had put green contacts in, and was wearing circular glasses. He looked very odd, indeed, in black hair. Haruhi didn't notice the boy also had a lightening-shaped scar on his forehead, on account of his messy hair.
She looked at her sempai. Tamaki stared unblinkingly back at her. A thin red line appeared on his face, but he quickly pushed his hands up to hide it. "Do you like my costume? Is it real enough? Oh, I heard every girl loves Harry Potter so much they fall head over heals for him! Do I look like him? Do I really, daughter? Oh, thank you, thank you, you are far too kind to me, my baby Haruhi!"
"I wouldn't know," Haruhi ducked out from Tamaki's arms as he tried to hug her. Again. "I don't read the books. I don't like them."
Shortly afterward, Tamaki could be heard moping in a corner of the room, his body outlined by a distinct purple and black aura.
'Well,' Haruhi thought to herself. 'I did always hear the main character Potter was angsty... sempai's doing a pretty good job of that.'
"Haru-chan!" came a bright voice whose body jumped on her and hugged her neck. "Guess who I am! Go on, guess! Guess!"
"I would, Honey-sempai, if you would kindly get off me and let me see you."
"Oh, right. Sorry." And Honey slid off of her and stood a few feet away so she could get a good look at him. Haruhi's eyebrow twitched.
"You're, uh, you're a lion?" Haruhi asked meekly. She didn't think any cutesy baby lions were featured in the Potter series.
Honey stuck his tongue out at her and hugged his stuffed bunny. "Silly! Do you know what kind of lion I am?"
Haruhi shook her head, pretending to be perplexed. Honey let out an impish giggle. "I'm the Gryffindor mascot! Isn't this outfit the cutest?" Twin oval blushes appeared on his cheeks. She nodded. Honey sure did look like a cutesy baby lion in that costume. She had a sudden urge to pick him up and squeeze him as hard as she could... what the hell was she thinking? Haruhi shook her head, then noticed the next odd thing in the room. There was a blond male with grey eyes she was sure she had never seen before in her life. Unlike Tamaki, (still sulking in the corner) who wore a suit colored in gold and red, or Honey, robed in a golden and red lion costume, this boy was wearing a suit with colors of silver and green. Perhaps he was a new member of the club?
Might as well introduce herself. Had they already told him she was a girl? Well, she would tell him right now.
Haruhi walked quickly up to him. She bowed. "Pleased to meet your aquantince." She straightened. The blonde boy was blushing slightly. He cleared his throat then, and the blush disappeared.
"I thought you said you didn't like the books, Haruhi. But I understand now. You didn't want to hurt Tamaki's feelings... you're a Draco fan." Haruhi backed up. This guy was... Kyouya! Whoa!
"Kyouya-sempai! You're... blond. Oh, I'm sorry, you looked so different, I didn't recognize you for a second! Ha ha!" The flush on his cheeks went unnoticed as Haruhi laughed.
"Oh, gosh, I'm sorry. And, no, I don't read the books at all." Kyouya stared down at her as she wiped tears of mirth from her eyes.
"That's another 20 yen added to your debt, Fujioka." Kyouya said quietly, glasses flashing.
Haruhi gasped.
"But, but... on what grounds-"
"HARUHI IS HERE! Looky what costume is yours, Haruhi!" She was gripped by two pairs of hands and roughly turned around. "Our mum made it eeespecially for a girl!"
"I can see that. It's a rather short skirt..." Haruhi's eyebrow twitched. She looked at the grinning twins, who appeared not to be in costume yet (they were actually all set with their personas as Fred and George Weasley).
"Hm, really? I still think it'll look super cute on you though." Hikaru snaked one arm around Haruhi's waist while dangling the costume of a female Ravenclaw's suit directly in front of her with the other.
"Yeah, it'll really-" Kaoru began.
"Show off your-" Hikaru said.
"Awesomely long legs." Kaoru finished.
"Awesomely long legs?" Haruhi repeated, looking down at her legs, which were, thankfully, still covered by her pants. "I'm not even that tall."
"Doesn't mean anything to us, Hermione. Oops, I mean, Haruhi." Hikaru said and he and his twin shared wide smiles again.
Haruhi took the costume from Hikaru and tossed it into Tamaki's corner. The hanger hit Tamaki on the head, but he was too busy squealing over the short skirt on the outfit to feel the rapidly swelling lump. Honey joined him in fawning over the suit.
"How rude," Kaoru said to Haruhi, lazily leaning against a desk and allowing Hikaru more room to slant himself against Haruhi's body. "Our mother had to do that all last night, and now you won't even wear it."
"So? You knew I wouldn't have worn it anyway. I'll just find an extra Hogwarts uniform somewhere in the back. Your mom made plenty, right?"
"And what if she didn't? Would you wear it then?" Hikaru coiled himself around her.
"I know she did. I can see the racks in the back room are just filled with them." Haruhi deadpanned, and, pushing Hikaru off of her, made her way to the changing rooms.
The twins' blank eyes followed her as she walked away from them.
"Stubborn girl," Hikaru said, sighing and trailing his fingers along his part-line.
"Yeah. For once, I'd like to see her in a more feminine outfit," Kaoru added, shrugging and mimicking his brother.
"We've plenty of time for that, twin of mine." Hikaru faced Kaoru and smiled.
"Yeah, I'm sure we do," Kaoru replied and mirrored the smile on Hikaru's face perfectly.
Meanwhile, Haruhi was walking the ridiculously long walk from where the twins were standing to the back room where the changing area was roped off.
"Seriously, how many square footage is this place? It's like we have unlimited space in here," Haruhi said to herself, frustrated that she seemed to be getting nowhere in walking.
Finally, she made it to the changing rooms. She found that there was a black tie hanging from the door handle and thought that odd for a second, but she ignored it and went in. Apparently, Haruhi Fujioka doesn't know what a tie on a door handle is supposed to signify in western culture.
Haruhi was walking towards the silver racks that held dozens upon dozens of the finest silk Hogwarts uniforms (meticulously hand-stitched by Mrs. Hitachiin's employees) when she noticed another human presence in the room.
It was Mori. And he was naked.
Well, not naked per say. But he was in the process of changing into a long plum robe with shiny stars on it, so he happened to be in his boxers.
Haruhi, for her part, stood stock still for a moment, then seemed to snap out of her haze and said, "Oh, hello, Mori-sempai."
And Mori might as well have been struck by lightning because he stood still as a lump of burned charcoal, not even wavering. Which was quite impressive because he had one foot in his wizard's robe and his other leg was hanging in the air, frozen.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know you were in here. You should really put a sign on the door or something. You don't want other people barging in here while you're changing..."
Mori stared at Haruhi and Haruhi stared at Mori. This went on for a few seconds before Haruhi seemed to come to her senses again and said, "Um, I'll just grab my costume and go to the smaller changing room then..."
And Haruhi walked calmly towards the rack, took a uniform off of it without looking at the size, and shuffled awkwardly out of the room.
XOXOXOXOXOX
Later, when there were customers to be dazzled and quotes from the book to be quoted with all the right emotions behind them, Mori gazed across the room at the small first-year. Tamaki was currently trying to put his glasses on her and she kept trying to thwart his attempts with narrowed eyes and exasperated sounds. Her customers looked as though they were enjoying themselves immensely.
"What's up, Takashi?" Honey asked, putting his plate of honeycake down for a second. "You seem distracted today."
Mori shifted his eyes towards his cousin, then turned his full attention back to his hosting duties. However, he was still puzzling something out in his head. During the next lull in their combined clientele, he told Honey what was on his mind.
"Do you think Haruhi might be asexual?" Mori asked, watching Honey drip more chocolate on his honeycake.
"A sexual what, Takashi?" Honey said, cutting his eyes to Mori while expertly drizzling the chocolate syrup in fancy zig-zag lines.
"You know what I mean, don't dodge the question," Mori replied, slightly irritated. They both spoke of the girl often enough.
"I'm not sure, to be honest. I need more... time to discover her," Honey said sweetly. He put the chocolate boat on the table and devoured the rest of the honeycake.
"Time to discover her?" Mori repeated. "Are you... thinking of inviting her over to the mansion?"
Honey cut himself another slice of the overly sweet cake. "Yeah... maybe. She should come to my house first; I am the oldest member."
"But you're not the president of the club." Mori stared at Honey.
"Hmm..." Honey hummed, forking the cake on his plate.
"What would Tamaki say if you invited her over without asking him?"
"Well..." Honey slit his eyes and for a second grinned the most menacing grin the face of the earth had ever seen, "He'll just have to deal with it." Honey scooped up the cake and swallowed it whole.
Mori, for his part, remained silent for the rest of the club's meeting.
XOXOXOXOXOX
"Hey, Haru-chan!" Honey called to Haruhi as the host club got ready to leave for the day, "How would you like to come to my house on Saturday to have tea and cake with me?"
Haruhi smiled at Honey, who was still in his lion's outfit. Apparently he liked it so much he had decided to buy it from Hikaru and Kaoru. Normally Honey didn't purchase the clothes the host club had worn that day while strutting their stuff for the ladies. He must want it for to be super duper cute for future... events? What else could he use a lion's costume for?
"Sure, Honey-sempai," Aw, who could say no to that face? At least he didn't want to go to her apartment like the twins did; they had been annoying her earlier about that. "I'll have to check with my dad first, though. I'll tell you tomorrow if I can go."
Honey swished his tailed, wiggling excitedly. "How about you call me tonight so I can prepare a suite for you for Saturday?"
Haruhi paused. "A suite? Oh, you don't have to do that for me-"
"Oh, but it'll be fun if we can have a sleep-over! There'll be tea and cake and fluffy pillows and-" Honey bounced up and down, pink flowers sparkling around his head.
"Hm. Alright. That does sound... extravagant, but-"
"I'll have fancy tuna for you too, for dinner. It'll be the best cuts from Oshura, that's where all the best tuna comes from," Honey added.
Haruhi's eyes glazed over. Fancy tuna! Awesome... she couldn't pass this up. Even if Honey's family was made up of rich bastards... fancy tuna. She could already feel her mouth watering.
"Takashi'll be there too! Right, Takashi?" Honey spun around to fix pleading eyes on his cousin. Left with no choice, Mori nodded briefly.
"Okay. I'll call you tonight, then," Haruhi said, her mind still far away, swimming in an ocean of fancy tuna.
"'Kay! Here's my cell number, Haru-chan. See you tomorrow!" Honey bounded away, heading for his limousine, which had been patiently waiting for him.
"Bye," Haruhi said to Honey, and he turned around to wave cutely. She looked at Mori, who had been staring after his cousin as well.
"Don't you have a ride home?" Haruhi asked him, and he turned quickly towards her and nodded.
"Well, I have to go. My train will be leaving soon. Catch you later, sempai."
Mori watched her until she was too far away to be seen against the setting sun.
'Mitsukuni is right. I, too, need more time to discover her. As we all do,' Mori said to himself. 'I wonder what the future will bring for the host club. With a girl like Haruhi... I fear we're all going to be in trouble sooner if not later.'
And with that odd thought, Mori started for his limousine which would take him home after another day.
XOXOXOXOXOX
'Dear Mother in Heaven,
It's been three weeks now, and I think I'm really starting to settle in at Ouran High School. I've got some people who I think I can rely on and who are doing everything they can to protect me and see me through my days. Even though most- okay, some- of them are really kinda annoying, I think I can learn to live with it. Plus, in tolerating them I'm going to be able to eat fancy tuna for the first time ever! I'm so excited that I'm almost drooling! Okay, well, I actually am drooling. I can't wait until Saturday night!
Love, Haruhi'
XOXOXOXOXOX
In case you're wondering, Mori was role-playing Dumbledore. There's just something sexy about a strong and silent type dressing up as a wise old wizard. Review, please! If you do, I'll send you all the (virtual) fancy tuna you can eat. :)