Steve Rogers doesn't have nightmares. At least...that's what he tells others. If you ask anybody in the tower, that's what they tell you, though those answers are mixed with uncertain glances at the Captain.
No, Steve Rogers doesn't have nightmares.
He most certainly does not wake up in the middle of the night, bolting upright in bed, Peggy's name a ghost of a whisper on his lips.
No. He tells himself that he could get a handle on it. He gets enough sleep.
(All lies, but it seemed one of his favorite activities was lying to himself.)
He pretends not to notice the concerned glances the team sends his way when he appears in the morning, dead tired with
circles ringing his eyes. "I'm fine."
He was always fine.
He always has to be fine. He was a leader, right? Leaders weren't supposed to show any weaknesses. If the war had taught him anything, it's that leaders needed to be strong.
...like Peggy was strong.
Whenever he thinks of the beautiful Peggy Carter, a kind of pain shoots through his heart, a pain that is sharper than anything
physical could inflict upon him.
He pretends the nightmares don't happen, because maybe if he doesn't think about them, they won't happen anymore. But
night after night he finds himself waking in a cold sweat, dreams of ice and drowning and Peggy and Bucky and everything he's ever lost still fresh in his mind.
Some people don't remember their dreams, and Steve wishes he had that luxury. Instead he avoids sleep, and when he does sink into unconsciousness, he loathes the darkness.
Steve Rogers doesn't have nightmares, but somehow they are making him fall apart.
'~'
Ok so... I honestly don't know what happened there. Steve got on the angst train and refused to get off I guess. Well, there's your Christmas present I guess. ;) Review if you liked it, and if you thought anything could be improved. :)