ShadowSpirit: Let's try this again... FYI, someone got this ficcy deleted last time, but now it's back up and I've fixed everything that could possibly be "illegal." AND THEY KILLED JO-EY-OH! I DIDN'T HAVE THOSE CHAPTERS SAVED! (is reduced to sobbing)

Kaiba: I know it's out of character of me, but...(gives authoress a hug)

ShadowSpirit: (sniffles) If anyone else had done that, it wouldn't have made a difference, but coming from you...

Kaiba: You're welcome. (hands Shadow a tissue)

ShadowSpirit: (wipes eyes) Okay, I'm better now. So, this story is rated for maire (French for "shit," but in the world of theater refers to all the cussing on/off set). I'm really gonna need reviews to make up for the almost thirty that are no more.

Disclaimer! Shadow does not own YuGiOh or Monty Python. So there (sticks out tongue).

ShadowSpirit: You people have ten minutes to get into your costumes. Ten! I'm leaving, so Amber and Jess are in charge.

Amber: Woohoo!

Jess: Lovely.

ShadowSpirit: So, yeah, ten minutes! Get moving! I'll be back later! (Leaves)

Amber: Bye! (waves)

-Ten minutes later-

Let's get started! It's time forrrrrrr... Yu-Gi-Oh! and the Holy Grail! (confetti confetti)

Through a rather thick layer of mist, one can see a big pile of dirt, just...sitting there. Footsteps, clopping and the clinking of armor can be heard drawing nearer. Two shadows appear.

Clop, clop, clop, WHACK!

"OW! Who put the damn fog machine there?"

"Well, seeing as you were the one responsible for proper placement of the props..." (A/n: Woo, alliteration!)

"Oh shut up..."

"You did ask..."

(long silence)

"Coconuts, Yugi."

Yugi, carrying a backpack three times his size, resumes banging the coconuts. "Ah yes of course!"

Clop, clop, clop, clop

A noble-looking figure appears through the mist, dressed in chain mail and armor and wielding a huge sword. He climbs atop the big pile of dirt and poses. Well, for a little bit anyways.

Yami looses his balance and begins to flail, ending up falling into the dirt. "Ahh! I'm sinking! Damn heavy armor! Help me, Yugi...er, Patsy!"

Yugi whines. "How come everything you ever say to me sounds gay?"

"Hey, I didn't chose the name "Patsy" alright?"

Amber comes up, and she and Yugi yank Yami out of the muck.

Yami tries in vain to wipe off the mud, then sighs in defeat. One of his regal boots has been lost in the muck. "Come, Patsy." They go up to a castle that appears magically out of the mist.

"HALT! Who goes there?"

Yami looks up to see Rex, perched on the scaffold. "It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeator of the Saxons, sovereign of all England! Muwahahaha... Um, anyways, I must speak with your lord and master."

Rex points to Yugi. "Who's the short guy?"

Kaiba yells from off set. "Which one? They're both midgets!"

Yami growls menacingly "Shut up, Kaiba."

"Ahem. Who's the shorter guy?"

Yami signals proudly to Yugi "This is my loyal servant, Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master."

Rex looks confused. "Ridden? On a horse?"

Yami rolls his eyes "No, on camels! Yes, ridden on a horse!"

"But, you're using coconuts."

"What?"

"You've got two halves of coconuts and you're banging them together!" Rex sighs as if he had to explain it to an idiot.

Yugi looks up towards his yami. "You mean we really are supposed to be using coconuts? I thought we just had budget issues and couldn't afford a real horse..."

"Shush, Patsy." Yami looks back up at Rex. "So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercea, through—"

"Where'd you get the coconuts?"

Joey pops out of nowhere. "Two for a dollar at Marc's."

Tristan also pops out of nowhere, much like Joey and the castle. "Really? Good deal."

Yami frowns. "Actually, they're from a coconut bra I found in the prop room.

"Eww... I don't want to hold these anymore..." Yugi says, making a face.

Amber suddenly leaps off the lawn chair she was sitting on. "AHHH! Yami, you jackoff! That belonged to the authoress! She got it in Hawaii! It's authentic!"

Yugi looks disturbed. "These are Shadow's? EWW!" He drops the coconuts as if rabid.

Rex rolls his eyes, bored. "I'm starting again. Where'd you get the coconuts?"

Yami grimaces. "We, uh, found them."

Yugi cautiously pokes one with his toe.

"Found them! In Mercea? The coconut's tropical!" Rex states.

"What do you mean?"

"Duh, Yami. It's like In Egypt; tropics are places with palm trees," Yugi says

Yami Marik lowers the magazine he was reading. "Egypt doesn't have many palm trees. It's desert, not tropical. Get your facts straight, loser.

Rex shifts, annoyed. "Ahem! Anyways, this is a Temperate Zone."

Yami poses nobly. "The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?" He looks confused. "What the... I don't even know what a plover is!"

Kaiba gestures with his hands. "It's this funny-looking gray and white bird with a black collar."

Yami narrows his eyes. "Thank you, Mr. Encyclopedia Britannica."

"I resent that," Kaiba says with a frown.

Rex clears his throat to get Yami's attention again. "Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?"

"Not at all. They could be carried," Yami says with a shrug.

"What? A swallow carrying a coconut?"

Yami shrugs again. "It could grip it by the husk!"

"It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five-ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut" Rex states.

"Well, it doesn't matter. I don't even know what a ratio is. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?" Yami is begging to sound annoyed.

Rex doesn't budge. "Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?"

Yami rolls his eyes in exasperation. "Please!"

"Am I right?"

"I'm not interested!"

Mokuba suddenly pops up. "An African swallow could carry it!"

Rex nods. "Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow. That's my point."

"Oh, yeah, I agree with that," Mokuba cocks his head.

Yami is looking more and more agitated. "Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot!"

Rex ignores him. "But then of course, African swallows are non-migratory."

"Ohhhh yeah... What's 'migratory'?" Mokuba questions.

Tristan, off set, grins hugely. "Well, migrating is what Joey does after all the girls at the one lunch table diss him enough. When it gets too cold, he tries to find someplace warmer."

Joey growls. "Why I oughta..." He proceeds to chase Tristan around the set.

Rex grins triumphantly. "So you see, they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway."

Yami rolls his eyes. "Come, Patsy, get your coconuts and let's get away from this funny farm..."

Yugi prods the coconuts again. "But I don't want to touch them..."

Yami sighs. "Leave 'em there, then. I'll go to Marc's during coffee break to get new ones, okay?"

Mokuba has a sudden outburst. "Wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it together?"

"No, they'd have to have it on a line." Rex shakes his head.

"Well, simple! They'd just use a strand of creeper!" the younger Kaiba says, looking proud of himself.

"What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?"

"Well, why not?"

Kaiba suddenly bursts out. "I'll tell you why not! Because that would be teamwork! TEAMWORK! What have I taught you about teamwork, Mokuba?"

"Um...that it's for ninnies who are too weak to go on by themselves?" he says meekly.

Kaiba grins broadly. "I'm so proud of you."

Yami has come back to defend the idea of teamwork. "But one swallow is too weak to carry a coconut by itself. He must trust in the heart of the...um...the dorsal guidance feathers."

Kaiba just stares at him and shakes his head.

Amber: Well, Scene One went by rather quickly.

Joey: Ya, what's next?

Amber: Scene Two.

Tristan: (fake gasp of astonishment) You don't say?

Amber: Oh, plant you, Tristan.

Jess: Ooh the next scene deals with dead people!

Yami Bakura: So, I am naturally in it?

Jess: Hell, why not?

Yami-B: Yes!

Amber: Say, did you and Marik ever get all those dummies dressed as dead people for that cart?

Yami-B and Marik: Er...(exchange nervous glances)

Marik: Um...go back to that part about them being dummies...

Amber: (smacks forehead) Oh no. What did you guys do...?

Yami-B: Heheh... Nothing, nothing at all! (They shuffle off, rather quickly I might add.)

Amber: Jess! I thought I told you to supervise them!

Jess: I did!

Amber: Well, what did they do?

Jess: Um...(fidgets) can we just say the dead people aren't exactly...cloth and plastic?

Amber: (smacks forehead again) Oh man, I do not need to deal with any more lawsuits!

Joey: Hey! We're hungry! Can we order take-out Chinese?

Amber: If Kaiba pays for it.

Kaiba: Hey! Why do I have to?

Amber: The rest of us are dirt poor. We're not even paid to be here. Besides, you like Chinese.

Kaiba: (grumbles and pulls out a wad of bills) When is Shadow getting back?

Well, I really hope you guys liked the re-first chapter. But please...I REALLY need reviews if I am to continue with this fictlet. And feel free to read my other stories, too; I'd appreciate it muchly.

Oh yeah, and I hate not using script format for the body of my fict. HATE IT!