Hello...this is a one-shot thing..

~*SNSNSNS*~

Disclaimer: You can assume the obvious if you can't - I don't own Naru :( even I if wished on a star

Warnings: There's not really smut (there may be some later...just not in this chapter) :l yeah BUT there is kissing and 'bad' words and such :P

Impotence

Impotent, that's what I am. When the time came I couldn't get it up. What the fuck? I had wanted this for so damn long but when the time came I just couldn't. How? I mean Sakura, the girl I had a crush on since I was in third grade, had been lying naked in my bed asking for me to fuck her and I couldn't pull through. She didn't turn me on. What scared me the most was that her nakedness actually repulsed me instead. Anyways nothing happened and she dumped me today. She said, "Naruto, you're obviously not into me like that, you're still my friend though and you know I'll always love you."

So I'm sitting in my room trying to think of things that could get it up but nothing seems to work. It's not like I haven't jacked off before, I have plenty of times I mean come on I'm a healthy fifteen year (almost sixteen) old boy, but the problem is that all the times I have it was on imagining having sex with some really hot girl (usually Sakura). It's like now that my body realized it's not into Sakura it refuses to…you know. I even snuck into Jiraiya's (who's my father/ guardian person) room to look for dirty magazines. Nothing.

Fuck I give up!

What am I supposed to do? What if I'm impotent for the rest of my life! My future wife won't ever be truly satisfied because my body is fucked up, she'll divorce me to re-marry a guy that can please her and I'll die old and alone! I'll have to take Viagra every time I want to make love!

The ringing of my cell phone takes my mind off of my problem. I pick it up to check who just texted me. The words 'Sasuke-Teme' flashes on the small cell phone screen.

Dobe, I heard Sakura dumped you, are you okay?

Sasuke-Teme

Reply: Ya, I'm peachy :] Wanna sleep over? I'm bored…

I hit send. Not too soon later does he text me back.

Sure, I'll be over after dinner.

Sasuke-Teme

Reply: kk :D!

(-ns—sn-)

Few hours later Jiraiya is calling me downstairs saying "Your emo friend is here!" I hear Sasuke snort at my perverted guardian's introduction. Sasuke's use to Jiraiya by now, his comments don't even faze him in the slightest. I run down stairs.

"Hey teme" I grab him by the wrist and begin to drag in back to my room.

"Hn" I translate this to 'Hello Naruto how are you?'

"I'm fine, you?"

Sasuke rolls his eyes, I translate this to 'You know…same old…Itachi is still a pain in my behind'

"What he do this time?"

Sasuke deeply sighs; I translate this to 'I'm not sure you want to know'

We make it to my room and I flop down on my bed. Sasuke politely sits on the corner.

I happen to have a bunk bed, Jiraiya got it for me in sixth grade once he realized that Sasuke pretty much spend half the year sleeping over so he assumed buying a bunk bed would make it easier. Sasuke also had his own drawer in my dresser filled with extra clothes. It was the same for me at his house. We're basically brothers if it wasn't for the fact they we weren't related. He and I meet back in elementary school our friendship started off really weird. We were both in Iruka sensei's class back in fourth grade. Originally I hated him, he was the bane of my existence and we were always beating each other up but one day we were snowed in during school and I had forgotten my lunch so I was starving. Iruka gave me some money to go buy food at the caf, anyhow when I got there, there was only a few things left including this amazing plate size oatmeal raisin cookie. Sasuke-teme, who was also in line in the tiny cafeteria of our elementary school, also had his eye on the cookie. He ended up getting to it first but to my nine year old surprise he split the cookie in half and we became best friends since then. Who would have thought that an oatmeal raisin cookie would have brought us together?

Since that time it was always me and him. Me, Naruto Uzumaki, the loud-unpredictable-troublemaking-outgoing kid and him, Sasuke Uchiha, the quiet-smart-perfect-teme. Two completely opposite people who once hated each other's guts became best friends for almost seven years. It's a damn miracle that we managed to tolerate each other for that long. Either way it made me happy, we know things about each other that no one else knew. We could tell how the other was feeling without the use of words. And that's pretty damn cool.

"So, why'd she dump you? You guys were going well" Sasuke asks in his usual monotone voice.

"Well…I um…we were trying to ya know…"

"Have sex" He states bluntly

I feel myself blushing, "Don't say it like that!"

"How would you have me say it?" He smirks, "You'd you have me say 'get jiggy with it"

"What the fuck teme! I mean in your whole bluntness….anyways yes we were… 'getting jiggy with it' and I er…I couldn't"

"So…she dumped you because you weren't ready to have hot sex with her?"

"No…I was ready. I liked her for years damn it! But when it was the time to ya know…I…I'm fucking impotent! I couldn't get it up! I don't even get it!"

"Hm, maybe you were just nervous or overly stressed at the time that happens sometimes"

"…No teme, I have a problem I swear I spent the past day trying to figure out of to fix it but nothing works." I reached under my pillow to grab the porn magazines that I stole and threw them to the middle of my bed for the world to see.

"Not even those worked!" I yelled while pointing at one of the covers which had a naked girl who was only covering herself up with her arms.

Sasuke quirks an eyebrow at the porn magazines, "Where the hell did you - …wait never mind"

He sat there quietly for a few minutes, "Maybe you're just not turned on by sluts."

"Sakura isn't a slut! And discussing my impotence isn't why I asked you over so we can just drop it…"

"She threw herself at me since we learned what sex was and basically begged me to fuck her…sure totally not a slut" He said sarcastically, "Maybe you should try thinking of other girls that might work, like Ino, Tenten or Tamari"

I shook my head, "I thought of every girl in the school that I know of and nothing…I'm forever doomed to be erectile…aly dysfunctional…"

Sasuke snorted.

"Teme it's not funny! I'll be forever alone…no girl wants a guy that can get it up for them!"

"I'm sure Hinata would be fine with that, with the mention of sex she faints so I think having a guy that can have sex is a good thing for her." He smirks.

"Whatever teme, can we please stop talking about this very depressing topic?"

"Maybe your gay"

Now it's my time to snort, "Did you hurt your head! There's no way, no way, that I am gay. I mean – just because I can't get hard off of most women…"

Sasuke raises an eyebrow in amusement.

"That didn't come out right" I mumble.

"Well try"

"Try what?"

"Try thinking of guys…like Kiba, Gaara, Neji you know?"

I blink, "Um…ok"

I try to think of Kiba naked in my bed moaning my name…oh god no. That's the more disturbing thing I've ever imagined. Thinking about all the other guys I know like that didn't work either…actually I'm going to have nightmares for a year.

"Yeah no… I'm just scared for life now"

Sasuke chuckles, "Oh well I guess that just means you really are impotent"

I groan. Just my luck, girls don't like me enough as it is now I will truly be forever alone!

"Come on; let's go play a game or something" He slides off the bed and crawls over to the game system that was in the corner of my room next to the small TV.

Sasuke's POV

Three weeks had gone by since I slept over at Naruto's, the idiot's, house. Since then he's been avoiding me. He never invited me over and when I invite myself over he comes up with stupid excuses like how he had too much homework (Naruto never does his homework) or how he was tired (that never stopped him before, anyways how can you be tired if you have the energy that could out win the power of hundred energizer bunnies?)

I had previously assumed it was because he told me about his problem. I'm started to think differently now since I saw him the other day with Sakura.

-Flash back-

"I can't believe they got back together, I don't see what's so great about the idiot" Kiba grumbles, he's looking out the class room window along with a few other guys. There, outside, stood Naruto and Sakura sitting under a tree eating lunch together while talking peacefully.

"Psst Sasuke? Aren't you jealous?"

"Why would you even think that dog breath?" I say, not even looking away from the book I was reading.

"Well you two have been attached by the hip since like…birth and now Naruto's spending more time with Sakura"

"Yeah, you poor thing! It was once all about you and now all Naruto cares about is Sakura. He's neglecting you" Suigetsu snickers.

Kiba nods frantically, "He's broken the golden rule 'Bro's befo' Hos' but it can't be helped I guess I mean you are a bastard and women can give him something no man can…"

"Babies" Suigetsu finishes.

"That's not what I meant but yeah that works too"

I pinch the bridge of my nose, irritated at the two other idiots I know who are rambling about idiotic stuff like they always do. I let out a long heavy sigh.

"I think you two should shut up and let me read, Naruto can hang out with his girlfriend all he wants"

It actually annoys me though; I never knew they got back together. He always tells me stuff like this. Does he really not need me anymore?

-End of flash back-

I got my answer later that day when I walked home alone. I rarely walk home alone. I was always with Naruto and then it really hit me. It was true; my best friend had replaced me with a girl. I assume he managed to fix his problem and then things just happened from there. Naruto got Sakura back and now he didn't need me anymore. Whatever the case I shouldn't let it bother me. If he was happy then that's good. But it's kind of frustrating since I had been friends with the obnoxious idiot since elementary school and kind of lonely without some loud blonde rambling about pointless stuff next to me. It's this weird feeling like…oh I don't know like…I'm not sure what's going to happen between us anymore. I'm definably not jealous. I think I'm sad more than anything else maybe a little scared because Naruto is my only real friend. If he's gone well then...

(-ns—sn-)

The next day during lunch I see Naruto sitting alone on the little grass hill next to the school. So I make my way to talk to him.

"Hey" I mumble.

He jumps a little when he noticed me sitting next to him.

"Oh hey teme" he smiles cheerfully at me.

"I heard you got back with Sakura, why didn't you tell me?"

"…I did?"

I blink, "You didn't?" I said. I was relived, maybe a little too relived.

"Er, no… I don't think I can ever be with her ever again it'd be just to awkward"

"Wait…so why are you with her so much?"

He scratches the back of his head, which I know as a sign of him feeling awkward or nervous about something. Question is…why?

"I just need to talk to her about stuff, you know for advice and stuff"

"…You always ask me for advice."

"I know, it's just…it couldn't be you this time…"

I blink again, "Did I do something? You've been avoiding me too"

"Wha- N-n-o teme you didn't do anything, I'm not mad at you don't worry…far from it…"

Ok, now I'm irritated.

"Than what is it?" I growl.

"It's just…" Naruto starts, his face slowly starts to turn red, "Ughh never mind I can't say it"

"Why the fuck no- …Wait…You didn't" I say, I was putting the pieces of the puzzle together and the only conclusion I could come up with it that my best friend had found someone to cure his impotence and I could only assume who that person was based on how he was treating me.

He looks at me with this really confused face.

I snicker, "You, Uzumaki Naruto, jacked off …to me! That's hilarious!"

"Oh my god teme shut up! Ughh it's embarrassing, not funny!" He turns even redder then he was before and whacks me on the side of my face with his backpack.

"Ow, shit my face" My rub my face to try to ease the pain, "So you don't deny it?" I say with a snicker.

"Fuck off Sasuke"

"I take that as a 'No, Sasuke I don't deny it, the only one I can get hot for is you, you sexy beast'"

Dear god this is far too amusing!

"See! This is why I didn't tell you, now I'm mad at you" He huffed, his arms crossed against his chest while making an angry face.

"Awww, I'm sorry" I make a pouty face just to tease him. (This is something only Naruto as ever seen)

"Whatever, you should stay away from me I apparently have no control over my body and you might get jumped if you keep making cute faces" His gives me this really deviously sexy face that just screams 'I will fuck you into the bed'

This actually turns me on, sure he's my childhood friend but if he can have fantasies about me I can be allowed to be turned on my him too, right?. I guess we both have no control over our bodies. Before he has a chance to react I quickly press my lips to his and just as quickly pull away. He just sits there in daze. A split second kiss and I affect him this much, haha.

Naruto's POV

The morning that Sasuke slept over was interesting. I woke up to find the teme half-naked in my wash room dripping wet while grabbing a shirt to pull over his head. At the time nothing happened. I had seen Sasuke naked before, this time it was half as bad since his bottom half was covered by his boxers. I took nothing of it. Not until later that is.

Later when Sasuke had left I tried once again to cure my impotence. And for some reason the first thing that came to my head was half-naked and wet Sasuke. The image it's self once again didn't affect me; it was not until my mind when out of control and started to imagine Sasuke on his back with one hand on his erection and the other on my chest. He was moaning, like a girl, my name. Then it just spiraled out of control where I had this massive boner and I had my hand in my shorts panting, saying Sasuke's name over and over. Then I had the best orgasm I ever gave myself. I mean the best. Then I realized what the hell I just did and freaked out.

I just masturbated to a sick gay fantasy of Sasuke. My best friend.

Okay I admit, I always thought Sasuke was undeniably attractive. Sure I hated that girls were always on him. Yeah I dreaded the day he might get a girlfriend. Whatever, yeah I may have checked Sasuke out in the past, no big deal. Right? Yeah no…apparently not, it was a big deal. Apparently I was attracted to Sasuke. The more I thought about it the more I realized that I wasn't that surprised. I always attempted to repress dirty thoughts of him and they just happened to break out of the closet that I tried so hard to keep locked.

The problem is now, what the hell do I do? I didn't understand my feelings. I loved Sasuke, no doubt, but I don't know if I love him like that. This could all be a lust type thing. Like once I had enough of him this stupid attraction would go away and I could move on. But then again it could be love in that kind of romantic way. I've known Sasuke long enough for me to develop those kinds of feelings for him.

But now I was just kisses by him. Sure it was not even a second long but it felt good even so. Wanting more I snapped out of my daze and grabbed the collar of his shirt to smash our lips together. At first he was shocked but then I could feel his lips curve into a smirk. Damn teme. My eyes were now closed and I could feel his arms slither around my waist to pull me closer. I gasped at his and he took full advantage of it by sticking his tongue in my mouth. There we sat outside on a hill for the whole world to see us making out. After moments we pulled apart. I could feel my face creep a blush but Sasuke was no better, his cheeks were painted with the lovely pinky colour.

"Ok…Should that feel wrong?" I mumble

"Mhhh maybe but if felt right" Sasuke said with this mischievous smirk on his face.

"Well just so you know I'm not the woman in this relationship"

"Pfft, and you think I would be? Haha, no."

"Well see…" I smirked.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"So …you agree that we're like I dunno'…dating?"

"Sure" He shrugs, "I guess I should kiss you again right?"

Before I could answer he pulls me up to him again and passionately kisses me, it's not as awkward as the last since we actually knew what we were doing. My hands entangle themselves in his hair; his arms are once again around my waist. Then I felt his hands wander up my shirt, they were cold at first so I shivered from the cold but they heated up with my body heat. I shivered again, this time though from the pleasure I got from feeling him touch me like this

And then I got a boner.

When he realized this he just looked down at my pants.

"I guess I really did cure your impotence" Sasuke said with this smug smirk written on his face.

I kissed him again.

Anyway it ended fine ...right?

GOODBYE!